Courting the Clown

by Cathy Quinn

  Emily bit her lip and looked angelic and innocent. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to see if your red nose would glow when it was very very icy cold.”

  “Why would my nose glow when it’s cold?”

  “Rudolph’s does,” the child explained gravely. Sylvie groaned and buried her face in her hands, shaking her head slowly.

  What had she gotten herself into?

  She felt a pat on her shoulder. “Don’t worry, Sylvie. We’ll have fun, and the girls will behave. Won’t you?”

  There was a low double chorus of yes’s.

  “See?” Nick asked, patting on the hands still covering her face. “Sylvie? Are you still there? The girls are promising to be good.”

  “I’m here,” she said, letting her hands fall down to her sides. “You promise, girls? No snow up my nose?”

  The two girls nodded. “Daddy?” Emily piped. “You promise to be good too? You have to promise too.”

  The way Nick smiled at his daughters would warm anyone’s heart.

  The way he smiled at her warmed something else entirely.

  “Sylvie, I’ll be good too. I promise.”

  The deep voice sent shivers through her. How good, Nick?

  “I’m sure you will be,” she said sharply, refusing to even look at him. It wouldn’t do to give the girls any kind of ideas. Emily would be wielding her water pistol if she so much as look sideways at her father.

  Sylvie borrowed some of Nick’s clothes – and felt rather silly inside them. But better silly than cold. The girls got dressed in their snow suits, and that took a small eternity, but finally they were all out, Nick dragging a huge plastic bag with all sorts of outdoor toys in it.

  The back yard was pretty huge. There was even a small slope, big enough for the girl’s sleds, and plenty of evidence that it was well used. The girls ran around for a while, releasing energy, before settling down to play, leaving the adults alone.

  Nick pulled at a lock of her hair, hanging down from behind the woolen hat she’d borrowed. “Am I still bulldozing you?”

  She grinned at him. “A bit.” She looked around, not seeing the girls. “Where are they?”

  Nick stood, then flopped down in the snow again. “They’re building a snowman, just on the other side of the hill. They’re fine.”

  “I haven’t played in the snow since I was a kid,” she told him.

  “Really? You don’t know what you’re missing.”

  “Now I do,” she told him with a laugh. “It’s wonderful. I should do this every year.”

  Nick sculpted some snow between his hands, forming it into the shape of a pyramid. “I had an appointment with Lana’s therapist this week. She thinks Lana’s coming around.”

  “Great news! And I told you so.”

  He grinned. “So you did. Now we have it professionally verified. She’s been seeing the therapist every week, but we’re going down to every other week now. Her nightmares have almost stopped. She’s laughing and playing, although she’s still a lot more withdrawn than Emily is. But then that could just be a difference in their personalities, of course.” He laughed. “Fortunately, perhaps, not all kids are as active as Emily is.”

  That was what was different about him today. He was shimmering with relief over his daughter’s recovery. She put her hand on his arm and squeezed. “Lana will be fine. It’s wonderful, Nick.”

  “We’ve got you to thank for it.”

  She shook her head. “That’s ridiculous. You’ve got yourself to thank for being a wonderful father to her. I may have been at the right place at the right time, but that’s all.”

  He looked at her quizzically. “I can still thank you for it.”

  “Sure, if it makes you feel better, but I really didn’t do any―“

  He’d leaned over. He was silencing her with a kiss, and the shock of his cold lips against hers worked effectively. Nick... She looked into his dark blue eyes and could barely breathe.

  A snowball hit her thigh, and at the top of the hill, the girls squealed, then burrowed down again.

  “Sneaky little beasts,” Nick growled, and dropped to the ground. “They’ve been building a fortress. And now they’re attacking us without provocation.”

  “Uh... what?” Sylvie felt totally disoriented. One minute they were kissing – the next minute The Great Snow War had begun.

  “Get down here! You’re a sitting duck! Don’t give them a soft target.”

  “Soft target? Who are you calling soft?”

  “Never mind. Military speak.”

  Another snowball hit her in the stomach.

  “Sylvie...” Nick yelled. He pulled on her arm until she fell down beside him. His breath puffed out and he planted a quick kiss on the icy tip of her nose. He was grinning. “We’re losing the war. Would you get starting on a snow ball arsenal right now, or we’ll end up POW to those two pixies. Hurry!”

  Grumbling, Sylvie gathered snow in her hands and clapped it into a snowball shape. She put it next to Nick’s stash, and started on another one.

  “Good girl,” he said approvingly. “Now look at this. Our secret weapon. I hid it at the bottom of the bag so the girls wouldn’t get to it, because I suspected they’d pull a stunt like this.”

  He dragged something red and plastic out of the black bag. He laid it across the top of their fortress and put several snowballs at one end. There were rubber bands involved too, and Sylvie stared at the thing forever before realizing what it was.

  “Nick! You invented a...”

  “Snowball launcher,” he said proudly.

  “That’s brilliant!”

  He pulled back the small catapult arm, and several snowballs went flying through the air. The girls shrieked, and Nick cackled. “That will show them!”

  “Isn’t this a bit unfair?” Sylvie asked. “They don’t have any fancy equipment.”

  “Watch and see,” Nick said, and started loading up the catapult again. Before he could launch another round, two small bodies hurled themselves over the small wall they’d built, and straight into their father’s arms. “Is it ready?” Emily shouted. “The snowball launcher, is it ready?”

  “Let me see,” Lana said, scrambling out of her father’s arms and kneeling over the catapult. “Wow. It’s so cool! Can we have a try?”

  “It was my idea,” Emily said proudly. “Two hands aren’t always enough. I asked Daddy to make extra arms to throw snow balls with, and he made this instead.” She grabbed the plastic item in her arms and scrambled over the wall again. “Come on, Lana!” she yelled. “We need lots of ammo for this one.”

  Nick rolled his eyes. “My daughter, the female Rambo.”

  “Are you nuts!” Sylvie asked when the first barrage of snowballs headed their way. “You gave up our only advantage!”

  “Yeah,” Nick said. He grabbed her hand, and pulled, and suddenly she was laying on top of him. “It will take them quite a while to get the hang of the catapult,” he explained, his blue eyes far too close for her peace of mind. “In the meantime, we can just comfortably hang out here, doing whatever comes to mind.”

  He was smiling. She reached up with a snowy mitten and hesitated. “Whatever comes to mind?”

  “Do you have revenge in mind?” Nick frowned. “I was thinking about something more fun.”

  “Like?”

  “Kissing.”

  She laughed, and rested her forehead on his. “Out in the snow? While your daughters try to bombard us with icy missiles? Yes, that does sound pretty safe.”

  “Then why aren’t we kissing already?”

  “Good question. You see, I’m not sure it’s emotionally safe,” she confessed.

  “You think too much.”

  “Yeah, well that trait has served me well in the past. Whenever I’ve given up thinking, like when I agreed to Sylvie’s stupid pact, I’ve just gotten myself in trouble.”

  “If you hadn’t agreed to her pact, we’d never have met.”

  “That’s true.”
/>   “I don’t know about you but I think that would have been a catastrophe.”

  Her eyes searched his. “Because of Emily?”

  “No.” He’d pulled off his own mittens, and his fingers were warm on her forehead, then on her cheek, then tracing her lips. “Because of me.”

  His arms were around her, and his mouth was on her cheek, and she couldn’t find a single reason why she shouldn’t be right here, right now, lying in a snowy drift, safely in Nick’s arms. She gently kissed the corner of his mouth, feeling her heart speed up as he turned his head slightly to meet her lips. “You’re a bit crazy,” she whispered against his lips. “But I seem to have fallen for that too.”

  His lips curved against hers, and his hand went to the back of her head, holding her to him. “Good,” he whispered into her mouth, his teeth nipping lightly at her lower lip.”

  At the back of her mind an insistent question nagged at her – what the hell was she thinking, doing this where the girls could see?

  She pulled away. “We shouldn’t do this. Not when the girls can see us. They’d get the wrong idea, and that really isn’t smart...”

  The first missile landed on Nick’s head. He shook his head to shrug off the snow. “You’re right, of course,” he mumbled. Inside his coat, they heard the muffled sound of a cellphone, and he reached inside to grab it.

  He spoke for only few seconds, then stuffed the phone back in the pocket. Something was wrong, that much was written on his face.

  “My mother is in hospital,” he said crisply. “Chest pain. Maybe a heart attack. Maybe nothing. I have to go to her.”

  “Go,” she said without hesitation. “I’ll stay with the girls.”

  He looked at her for a moment, not even asking if she were sure. He nodded once. “Yes. Thank you.”

  What have I done? Sylvie asked herself as she trailed after him towards the girls, watching them explain he’d have to run out for a bit, and Sylvie would look out for them. Would the girls even approve?

  Yes, they didn’t even blink.

  She followed Nick to the car, where he paused for a smile despite his worry about his mother. “Remember,” he whispered. “Never show fear. They can smell fear.” He kissed her cheek. “Thank you for doing this for me.”

  “No problem,” she said. “I hope your mother is okay.”

  He wrapped his hand around the back of his neck, pushed her against the car and kissed her hard, desperately. “No girls,” he whispered. “They’re on the other side of the house, so we can do this now, can’t we?”

  She grinned at him, but pushed her arms under his coat to wrap around his middle. He felt warm and wonderful. “Of course, now your neighbors can see us.”

  “I don’t care.” He unzipped her oversized parka and pulled her against him, his hands running up her back. “Have I have told you how happy I am you came into my life?”

  “Well, no... not in so many words.”

  “I am happy,” he said. “Very happy.”

  They kissed again, and the heat of it evaporated all the chill from her body. Then Nick broke away, dropped one last kiss on the top of her head and yanked the car door open. “I’ll call as soon as I know something,” he told her.

  “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”

  Sylvie walked in a trance back to the backyard and sat down on a snow-covered wooden bench, not even feeling the cold. At the back of her mind, worry about Nick’s mother nagged at her, but even the possibility of bad news couldn’t stifle the joy at what he’d said, how he’d touched her, the intensity and honesty in his eyes. “I am happy.”

  She suspected it had been a while since Nick had felt happy. And it was because of her.

  She hugged herself and smiled as she watched the girls play with their new snow launcher. Yes, of course she was worried about the girls’ grandmother.

  But Nick had told her he was happy.

  She was happy too.

  Chapter 10

  The girls kept playing in the snow, even after the cold forced Sylvie to retreat inside. A novice at babysitting, she wasn’t sure how much she was allowed to take her eyes off them. So, to be on the safe side, she sat by the window, watching their every move. She even opened a window and yelled if they strayed out of sight on the other side of the tiny hill.

  Twenty-two minutes, and everything was still fine. So far, so good. There was nothing to be worried about. They were two wonderful little girls, and hadn’t done anything to terrify her since that horrible birthday party weeks ago. And that really had been her own fault. She’d not only let them smell her fear, she’d let them make a banquet out of it. Children pushed until they came to boundaries - it was their nature. Probably served some noble evolutionary purpose or something. Back at that birthday party, she hadn’t given them boundaries. She hadn’t known how.

  Two snowy little girls suddenly stood there by the window, cheeks red, and their smiles pulling at her heartstrings. She gestured them towards the back door – and a few minutes later she stood, helplessly holding a huge pile of wet clothes.

  “You can just hang up the snow suits,” Lana said helpfully, pointing at a hanger. “And we put our mittens on the radiator to dry.”

  “Okay.” Sylvie followed her directions.

  “Then we get hot cocoa,” Lana said. “With marshmallows. And a cookie.”

  “Two cookies!” Emily corrected.

  “Right. Hot cocoa and cookies coming right up.”

  Help. Now she had to rummage through Nick’s kitchen cabinets. And, oh boy, were they a chaotic mess. Fortunately the girls could guide her in the right direction, and then all three of them sat at the kitchen table together.

  Sylvie had been naïve enough to put a whole plate of cookies on the table. The girls hoarded them. Emily had one in each hand, while Lana let it suffice to eat fast.

  One or two cookies each, depending on which girl to believe. There probably was a reason for that rule, she thought ruefully as she watched Emily gobble up her fifth cookie. They probably wouldn’t have much interest in dinner tonight, but well, the circumstances were special.

  Afterwards, the girls brought a mountain of toys into the living room and sat down to play. Sylvie sat on the sofa, watching. Emily gave her a smile, displaying her newly lost tooth. “Iffy, you wanna play too?” she asked. “We’ve got an extra doll, if you don’t mind that her arm is broken.”

  Sylvie moved into the room, sitting on the floor next to the girls. “What happened to her arm?”

  “It got broken.” Emily looked uncomfortable. “It was an accident and I’m really sorry.” She kissed the doll in question in apology before handing her over to Sylvie. “Daddy’s going to fix it.” She shrugged. “He said I play better with boys’ toys, but I like dolls too. I just didn’t know her arm would break. I was playing parachutes, only it didn’t open.”

  Sylvie grinned as she accepted the poor injured adventure doll. “Dolls look like babies, don’t they?” she asked. “Maybe it’s safest to treat them like babies and be really careful with them.”

  “Babies are yucky,” Emily proclaimed. “They wear diapers. Ew!”

  “So did you,” her sister pointed out. “When you were little.”

  “Yucky,” Emily muttered, not about to give up her point.

  The phone rang. Sylvie looked around, but Lana beat her to it, sprang up and fetched her the phone. “Falcon’s house,” she answered. Maybe she could sound like the housekeeper. Or the nanny.

  “It’s me,” Nick said. “My mother is fine. False alarm. I’m on my way home.”

  “Thank God.” She moved into the kitchen so the girls wouldn’t hear, but Lana followed her. “Everything’s okay?”

  “Yeah. Her heart is fine. She’s feeling rather embarrassed right now. But at least we managed to have a heart-to-heart talk – pun intended. I think things might be a bit easier from now on.”

  “Good,” Sylvie said, although she had little idea what he’s talking about. It looked like Nick and h
is mother didn’t get along?

  “How are things on your end?”

  “Fine. We’re doing well. We played outside a bit, then had cocoa and cookies.” She rolled her eyes exaggerated at Lana who grinned back. “We had a lot of cookies.”

  Nick chuckled. “I guess I should have warned you about that.”

  “I don’t think they’ll have much appetite for dinner,” she confessed.

  “Don’t worry about it. I really appreciate your help. I’ll be home in about an hour – if traffic permits.”

  “No problem.”

  “Your dad is on his way home,” she told Lana. “One hour. How about we clean up the mess in the living room?”

  Lana nodded and danced ahead. She stopped short when she came to a mountain of toys – but no mountaineer.

  “Emily?” Sylvie called. “Where are you?”

  No reply. Sylvie checked behind the sofas, then the bedrooms, Lana following.

  “Where can she be?” Sylvie asked, frustrated –- and starting to worry. Emily was probably just teasing them. Playing hide and seek. “Emily! This isn’t funny! Come out here!”

  No reply.

  “Where’s Emily?” Lana’s eyes were wild, her breathing fast, and her whole little body wired. “Where’s my sister?” She started running around the house, yelling her sister’s name.

  “Lana!” She finally caught up with the child and managed to drag her into her arms. “Hey. Don’t panic. It’s okay. We’ll find her.”