Generations I: Book of Enlightenment

by Mia Castile

  “You were flirting with those girls,” I said.

  “I wouldn’t look at another girl if I had a chance with you. I know you’re holding back from me, and I’m not sure why.” He looked up at the lights over our heads. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone. These feelings, they could even be love.” I tried to pull my hands away, intending to stand to put some distance between us. I felt something too, but I didn’t understand it.

  “Is there someone else?” He looked at me with a new expression in his eyes. Was it recognition? I didn’t answer him, and we just looked at each other for a long moment.

  “Ellie, we could be so happy together. Could you give me that chance to make you happy?” He cupped my cheek in his hand. I looked down, then back at him, surveying his face, my eyes resting on his lips for a second longer than they should have. He scooted closer to me, putting his arm around my waist again and pulling me to him. He leaned in, closing his eyes, and he drew my face closer to his. His touch was so delicate. I felt his breath against my lips as he hovered close to me. I willed myself to lean in and kiss him. Instead, I put my head down and looked at my hands crushed against his chest. He sighed and kissed my forehead. Closing my eyes, I leaned into his lips.

  When we got home, Gideon and I both went straight to our bedrooms. I turned on the light. There, lying on my bed in a black suit, white shirt, and a silver tie that matched my dress perfectly, was my angel with his hands behind his head. It startled me, and I jumped.

  “Hot date?” he asked, surveying me completely and sounding more jealous than teasing as I think he intended to.

  “Prom, every girl’s dream, right?” I ignored the tone as I closed my door and began taking off my shoes, guiltily avoiding his eyes.

  “You’re beautiful.” He sat up, a twinge of sadness showing in his eyes as he watched me. “I wish I could have taken you.” I put my shoes in the closet and sat down beside him on the bed.

  “You didn’t ask.” I looked at him, but he turned from me and looked straight ahead, swallowing hard as he nodded.

  “Do you like this guy?”

  “I don’t know, but. . .” I trailed off, my eyes begging him to do something, tell me his name, say something; instead, he stood, took my hand, and led me around my bed to the only open area. He stepped to my dresser and hit a button on my boom box. A love song began to play softly in the background.

  “May I have this dance?” He bowed to me. I nodded and curtsied. He placed his hand at the small of my back, took my other hand, and pulled me close to him. I rested my head against his shoulder as we rocked back and forth to the music.

  “You planned this,” I smiled, taking in his scent.

  “Guilty as charged.” I heard the smile in his voice. Then he sighed and added, “I don’t know if we’ll ever have the chance to be together, and I can’t ask you not to see other people. I can’t ask you to wait for me until it’s safe or right for me to come to you, but I want to. I shouldn’t be jealous or envious of this guy, but I am.” Brutally honest—that was what we were with each other. I lifted my head and looked at him; he stared off, avoiding my eyes. He finally looked at me. He traced my face with the back of his fingers and tilted his head as he smiled, sadness in his eyes. “But I promise you I’ll do something. Soon.” I nodded.

  Chapter 10

  Over the next few days, we followed a rhythm. Gideon walked me to work. He met me when it was time to come home. I went about my day-to-day activities as a ghost. Thursday at work I was putting some Old Farmer’s Almanacs on display. They looked very fragile and were in plastic bags, much like the ones old comic books were put in. I held one that was from 1843. Suddenly a white light flashed, and I was sitting on the hard seat of a wagon, two horses in front of me. An older man sat beside me. He was guiding the horses to a stop as he continued to speak.

  “Your mother would be proud of us. We will have the farm whipped into shape in no time. Then, in a few years, when it is time, you will be able to go to university. Your gift will be fluent, and you will be able to protect yourself then.” He turned and looked at me, his hair graying in his bushy sideburns and mustache. His eyes were comforting, and he wore a twill suit that was the style in an old western I’d once watched. I nodded and looked down at my hands. I realized I was wearing a long cotton hoop skirt and a cotton blouse that came up to my chin. I touched my neck and felt a broach at my throat. We stopped in front of a row of buildings. They were a post office, tailor, barber shop, and finally on the end, a general store.

  “Come on now, we have to order our feed and seed and some supplies.” He jumped down. I scooted to the edge of the seat and was trying to contemplate how to get down when he was at my side, holding me at my elbow as I gingerly stepped down over the ledge, my skirt catching briefly on the raised railing. I followed him in. I pulled at the bonnet tied around my head. I felt claustrophobic. I was confused about where I was and what was going on. I wrung my hands and stood behind the man as he placed his order and spoke with the man behind the counter. He was a tall, cleanly shaven man with an Irish accent.

  “So yer the fellow who’s taking over the Judas’ farm, are ya?” He continued filling out the long list the man had just given him.

  “Yes, we are. My daughter and I intend to make good use of it. It has a long way to go still.” My father, I realized obviously, took out a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiped his forehead with it.

  “Aye, you do have yer work cut out fer ya. But we’ll help as much as we can. If ya need any hired hands, my sons are strappers, they are. They’d be happy to help.” Just then, two boys came from behind a curtain to the side, as if on cue. One looked just like Gideon; the other looked just like my angel. I looked down immediately, trying to make sense of what was happening. I wondered if I was hallucinating and how I could get out of this dream. The store owner introduced the boys, and my father nodded, introducing us. I didn’t hear the words they were saying. It was as if white noise had taken over my ears. I looked up at him and saw his lips moving but heard nothing. I looked at the two boys, first Gideon’s twin, then my angel. When our eyes met, he dropped the basket of apples he was holding. I looked away, embarrassed, but only for a second. When our eyes met the second time, I had a feeling. It was like I’d always known him even if I’d never spoken to him before. His father said something to him as he and his brother stooped to pick up the fallen apples. I knelt too and picked up a few that had rolled to me. I handed them to him, and when we touched, a surge of electricity ran through my arm, and I pulled away abruptly. He continued to stare at me, in almost as much shock as I felt.

  “We’ll take this too,” my father said, as he tossed the Farmer’s Almanac on the counter and smiled at me. There was a flash of light.

  I sat under a large weeping willow with a lace parasol resting on my shoulder. I felt the fabric of a beautiful lavender dress. I had difficulty breathing because of the corset, but it was my best dress. I somehow knew that. There was a checkered blanket underneath me and a spread of fruit, bread, cheese, and vegetables around me. My angel lounged across from me on the other edge of the blanket, eating a piece of cheese. He smiled at me, and I smiled at him.

  “They will be back soon, so I haven’t much time,” he said before he tossed the last bite into his mouth.

  “Time for what?” I tilted my head to the side, a teasing glint in my eyes. I hoped I knew what he was speaking of, but I wasn’t sure. He pulled himself up and came to me, kneeling on one knee.

  “Time for this.” He took out a ring from the small pocket inside his hunter green jacket. “You would make me the happiest man in the world if you would take me for the rest of your life, however long that is. Will you marry me?” I looked at the ring. It was lined with diamonds in a clustered center. It was far too extravagant for me, though it was beautiful.

  “Yes, yes, yes.” I practically bounced into his arms, flinging the food all around us. I hugged his neck for the first time since he’d begun courting
me six months prior. I didn’t know how I knew all these things, but I did. He pulled me away and placed the ring on my finger. His pleased eyes and his beautiful face were telling me that we were meant to be together. There was a flash of light.

  I stood there clutching the almanac close to me.

  “Ellie, earth to Ellie, did you take out the trash yet?” I looked across the bookstore to Sam, seeing him but not recognizing where I was. He snapped his fingers, jerking me out of my trance.

  “No, I haven’t. I’ll do it now,” I said, as I placed the almanac on the shelf and turned to go toward the back rooms.

  I gathered the trash and lugged all three bags out the back door and up the stairs to the dumpster at the end of the alley. When I lifted the lid and put the bags in, I heard the preyed steps lurking behind me. I slowly turned and saw two wolves standing there at the entrance of the alley. They began to growl at me as I raced to the side to get to the stairs. They charged toward me.

  “Sonny, Sonny!” I called in my attempt at a strong voice. I felt a hand on my arm. As I turned, there was my angel standing behind me, a huge sword in his hand. He pulled me back and stepped in front of me at the same time. The wolves paused but continued growling. Then they closed the distance between us.

  “Stay back.” He held out his hand to me, keeping me behind him. His eyes were on the wolves, whose black eyes were now glowing red. One lunged at him; he knocked it with his sword. It yelped and fell to the side. When the other wolf jumped, he swung his sword and sliced its underbelly. The first wolf stood growling then rushed toward me. My angel pushed me to the side where I hit the guard railing, cracking my head. The wolf met his fist, and he flew across the alley. Both the wolves bolted away.

  “How did you know to come to me?” I touched my head; it felt wet. I looked at my fingers, which were covered in blood. He rushed to me, his sword gone.

  “I just did. Are you OK?” He examined my head. “Let’s get you inside.” He helped me stand. I leaned against the railing, suddenly very dizzy. I heard the back door open and peered over to see Sonny looking up at me. He hurriedly limped up to me as I walked toward him.

  “What happened?” he asked.

  “There were these wolves, and they attacked us,” I began. He glanced at my head,

  “Us?” He looked at me concerned.

  “Yes, me and—” I turned, and I was standing there alone. “Where did he go?”

  “Who?” Sonny asked, a quizzical look in his eyes.

  “My guardian angel, he was just here.” Dizzy, I leaned against the railing.

  “Let’s get you inside; I think you need to sit down.” Sonny placed his arm around my back and helped me down the stairs. He led me to the break room and sat me down. Then he left for a few minutes and returned with a few things in his arm. He sat down across from me and began to clean up my now-bloody forehead and side of my cheek. He was very delicate in his touch so he did not add pain to the already throbbing cut and the bruise I could feel developing.

  “So what happened? I heard you call my name, and I came out there as quickly as I could.” He studied my eyes, concerned.

  “There were these mangy ugly dogs, wolves, with glowing red eyes,” I began.

  “Wolves, in the city? Are you sure? That doesn’t sound right.”

  “There were. They were the same ones that chased me a whole block before Ben rescued me a few weeks ago. Maybe I should call animal control. This is beginning to scare me,” I shuddered.

  “Hmm, so for hypothetical’s sake, let’s say these dogs were chasing you and stalking you. What happened next?”

  “My angel showed up and fought them off.” He looked at me skeptically. I continued, “Haven’t you felt like one minute something bad is going to happen and then mysteriously something else happens, or you meet someone and you talk to them or they help you and you blink and they are gone? Those are guardian angels watching over you, protecting you because it’s not your time to go or you have to learn a lesson.” A smirk formed at the corners of his mouth. “Fine. Whatever. You don’t believe me, but I believe. That’s all it takes, you know, the faith of one person.”

  “The night I lost my family, sometimes I wonder why I wasn’t taken away instead of them. Where was their guardian angel?” He looked off into the distance like he was lost in a trance, a forgotten memory. “If I’d have known it was the last time I’d see my boys and my wife, I might have made more of the moment. It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. We were supposed to live out our lives together.” He looked back at me, but not with the eyes of recognition. “My boys, they’re your brother’s and your age. Or they would have been.” He sighed. “I believe in fate. There’s not a magical being going to intervene for you. When it’s time for you to go, that’s it. Your time is over.” He was still wiping at my cut. His hand pressed hard against it. I could feel blood beginning to trickle down my temple again, and tears began to well up in my eyes. I winced. Suddenly he looked at me, shame in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry. I got caught up in my memories and regrets.” His hands were delicate again as he smeared some weird-smelling salve on the cut and bandaged me up. “Let me call your brother and have him take you home.” He stood and cleaned up the wrappers and collected his things. I leaned back in the chair and felt my head. It was very tender, but I was sure I would be fine to walk myself home. Sonny returned.

  “I keep getting his voicemail. Is there someone else you can call?”

  I thought for a moment. “I’ll call Ben,” I said. I reached for my phone and dialed his number. He answered and said he was nearby with Selah. They arrived within minutes and met me at the door. Sonny had already disappeared into his office. Selah took my hand with one of hers and touched my forehead with the other.

  “Poor Ellie, what happened?” I felt a tingle in my head, but she didn’t remove her hand.

  “I guess I’m clumsy.” I just shrugged, too embarrassed to tell them the truth. They shared a look that I couldn’t read, as Selah let go of my hand and Ben took my other one, lacing his fingers between mine. I felt a wave of goose bumps race across my arm as I looked at our hands touching.

  “Let’s get you home,” Ben smiled, as he began to lead me up the stairs to the sidewalk. I leaned into him, suddenly feeling weak.

  “You all right?” he asked, concerned.

  “Yeah, just exhausted,” I sighed, as Selah trailed behind us, not saying much for the first block of the trek home. Then her phone rang, and she talked to Todd, her boyfriend.

  “I’m glad you called me.” He let go of my hand and put his arm around me. I leaned more weight on him.

  “Guys, I have to go meet Todd. I’m seriously going to dump him tonight.” Selah stomped behind us. We turned to look at her. “What happened?” I asked.

  “He’s an idiot, and I’m just over it.” Her face was red.

  “You want me to call Zeke to take you over there?” Ben asked a little reluctantly.

  “No, he’s going to pick me up at Ellie’s. He doesn’t know what’s coming, so he’s happy to oblige. You want a ride home? I can make him give you a ride.” We continued, Selah now leading the way with her hands on her hips.

  “Na, I think I’ll stay with Ellie. She doesn’t look so good.” Ben looked at me, more than a little concerned.

  “She’ll be fine, I promise,” Selah said with a slight edge in her voice.

  “I can call Zeke when Gideon gets home,” Ben said softly.

  “Suit yourself.” She shrugged as a very shiny BMW pulled up and she climbed in. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ellie.” I waved bye to her as Ben unlocked the door to my building. I didn’t feel safe until we were finally in my apartment. I collapsed on the couch, and Ben sat at the other end, putting my feet in his lap. He took off my shoes and held my feet. Neither of us said anything for a long moment. I began to feel self-conscious.

  “You have to be careful when you are alone,” he finally sighed, eyeing me intently.

  “
I was.” I broke his gaze and looked at the ceiling.