What Happens in Texas

by Carolyn Brown

  “Yep, I’ll do it. What time are you going to the church to get dressed?” Marty answered.

  “The wedding is at two. I’ll be there at one.”

  “Then that’s when I’ll arrive,” Marty said. “Go on home and get a good night’s sleep so you’ll look decent for your wedding.”

  “Marty, you are a true friend.”

  “No, I’m not. I just happen to have a red satin dress.”

  “Thank you, thank you!” Anna Ruth floated out of the beauty shop like a butterfly, humming the wedding march.

  “Why in the hell did you do that?” Trixie looked at Marty.

  “Can you see Andy’s face when he looks down that aisle and I’m coming at him? It will be absolutely priceless. And she’ll scatter pictures all over their house and I’ll be right there in them. It’s a real Kodak moment, and besides, I was feeling downright left out. She’s got Trixie’s ex-husband. Darla Jean is preaching the ceremony, and Cathy’s cake topper and ice sculpture is part of her wedding. I hadn’t contributed a thing. And remember, I voted for her,” Marty said.

  “And don’t forget she’s got Cathy’s dress that she was going to marry Ethan in,” Agnes piped up. “You voted for that hussy when my name was on the ballot! Dammit, Marty! What were you thinkin’?”

  Cathy’s eyes bugged out. “How did you know about the dress?”

  “Annabel let it slip to Tandy Jones who is helping convert it into a dress fit for a princess—her words, not mine. And Tandy whispered it to me at the Sunday school meeting this morning. Now ain’t that nice?” Agnes winked at Trixie. “Now y’all are getting to help dear little Anna Ruth out. I even get to be part of the whole thing because I got my hair cut so I’ll look better than Violet tomorrow. Now, answer me, Marty. Why’d you do a stupid ass stunt like vote for that woman?”

  “Aunt Agnes, I could tell you why I voted for Anna Ruth, but then I’d have to kill you.”

  “What are you? CIA?” Agnes asked.

  “No, something even more secret than that, darlin’. Now sit down and let Ella put some curls in the top of your new hairstyle.”

  Kayla giggled. “Your turn, Marty. What color fingernail polish do you want? Fire engine red to go with that dress? I remember it from last Christmas. You brought it in here to match your polish.”

  Marty touched her arm. “That is exactly what I want. Don’t tell anyone about my dress. We want it to be as big a secret as the bride’s new and improved version of my sister’s elegant dress.”

  “Oh, honey, it will sure be that.”

  Ella finished curling the top of Agnes’s hair and then picked it out and sprayed it. “What do you think?”

  “I love it. Reminds me of my hair when me and Bert married. He always did like it short,” Agnes said. “Your turn, Violet. Are you going to the wedding?”

  Violet looked down her nose at Agnes and said, “Anna Ruth is a club member. I wouldn’t miss it for the world, but Ethan won’t be able to attend. He and his lady friend flew to Las Vegas for a long weekend. He’ll be back on Sunday night.”

  While Kayla finished Marty’s nails, Ella rinsed Violet’s hair. She draped a towel over her head and took her back to the chair. “Time to roll it up and set you under the dryer.”

  “No! I want it all cut off like that.” She pointed to the same picture that had taken Agnes’s attention. “Annabel will help me if I have trouble styling it every day.”

  “You can’t cut her hair like mine. I won’t have it,” Agnes said emphatically.

  Darla Jean and Trixie stepped between the two old ladies.

  Ella shrugged and looked at Cathy.

  “Aunt Agnes, she can have her hair cut any way she wants,” Cathy said softly.

  Agnes popped her hands on her hips. “Are you going to dye it red next week too?”

  “I am not! I wouldn’t have that horrible color you were born with for nothing!”

  “Okay, Ella. Cut it all off. If she promises not to dye her hair red then you can cut it like mine. She’ll look like shit but go ahead and let ’er fly,” Agnes said. “Come on, girls. I don’t want to see how bad she’s going to look.”

  Agnes escaped out the door with the four girls while Violet was still gasping. When they were outside, she giggled. “Well, that went well, didn’t it?”

  “Aunt Agnes!”

  Agnes touched her hair. “Don’t know why I didn’t have it cut twenty years ago, and it did go well, Cathy! I got Violet to cut her hair. The only reason she wore it like that was one time Bert said it looked very nice. It was all he could think to say when she asked him outright if he liked it. And Marty is going to scare the shit right out of Andy! It was a wonderful evening! Well worth every single dime I spent. Let’s go to Clawdy’s and eat ice cream right out of the carton to celebrate.”

  Chapter 27

  The doors of the church opened right into the sanctuary, so Marty, Anna Ruth, and Annabel had to walk outside in the cold from the back door to the front to make their appearance. The cue was that Marty would go around the building when they heard the first notes of “The Sweetest Thing” and take her time getting down the aisle, scattering rose petals from the white satin basket on her arm. She should end her walk on the last note and set her basket on the front pew.

  Marty could not hurry in four-inch spike heels that put her well over six feet tall, and she’d styled her hair as high as she could get it that morning to make herself even taller. It truly was one of those priceless moments when she stepped inside the church and Andy’s smile disappeared. He raised an eyebrow and set his jaws so tightly that she hoped his face was too sore to even kiss Anna Ruth at the end of the ceremony.

  Whispers and tongue-clucking were wasted on her. She knew exactly what effect she’d have on the congregation when she offered to be the bridesmaid. Her long red satin dress had thin diamond straps, hugged her curves like an expensive leather glove, and was slit on one side all the way to her upper thigh. And she did not wear panty hose.

  “Wow!” someone said.

  She didn’t blink but just kept smiling at Andy.

  The song had been planned for the Baptist church where the aisle was much longer than the one in Darla Jean’s church, so she set her basket down when there was still another minute of the song left. She turned around and smiled at the crowd.

  “Is this a joke?” Andy hissed.

  “The cousin went into labor,” Marty whispered. “I’m the replacement. She begged Trixie to do it, but she refused. Count your blessings, Andy.”

  Anna Ruth’s music finally began. Annabel fluffed out her train so everyone could see the seed pearl J and the hearts and then she quickly cut a circle around the outside of the pews to take her place on the front pew.

  Fresh roses were laced into Anna Ruth’s hair, styled like a medieval princess with a crown braid. She carried an enormous bouquet of red roses and it would take an expert to ever find Cathy’s simple dress under all those flowers and pouf. She set her eyes on Andy and didn’t even look at the crowd.

  Agnes leaned over to Cathy and whispered, “Were you really going to wear that thing? It looks like shit.”

  “It’s sure not the dress I bought. She’s made lots and lots of adjustments to it,” Cathy answered.

  John slipped an arm around her waist. “I hope you were serious about running away to the beach. All this stuff is making me claustrophobic.”

  “Very.” She kissed him on the cheek.

  Bows the size of blow-up beach balls graced every single pew. And in the middle of each was a silk red rose with wedding bells hanging on white satin ribbons below it. Arched white iron candelabra entwined with illusion, greenery, and red roses and burning brightly with dozens of candles decorated the pulpit.

  “I hope all those candles don’t set the church on fire. Can you imagine how hot it is up there?” Trixie whispered to Agnes.

  As if he could discern her voice in the midst of a packed church, Andy’s eyes left Anna Ruth for a second and looked at
Trixie. She locked gazes with him and winked.

  Midway through the wedding, the sky darkened outside and thunder started grumbling off in the distance. Trixie leaned over and whispered in Agnes’s ear, “It’s going to rain.”

  “Bullshit! That’s just God telling Anna Ruth to run one final time,” Agnes whispered back.

  Cathy whispered in the other ear, “If it rains, John brought his truck and it’s parked close to the door. You head straight for it.”

  “We need rain. I might do a stomp dance right out in the middle of the street. If I’d known all it took was a ridiculous wedding to get us a good soakin’ rain, I would have paid Andy to marry her sooner,” Agnes declared. “I don’t give a shit if he cheats on her tomorrow if we can get a good rain out of the deal.”

  It took a unity candle, two prayers, three songs, and the sifting of the sand in addition to exchanging rings and traditional vows where Andy promised his fidelity, love, respect, and protection before the personal vows were said.

  Andy had written them the night before when he’d had no idea that his ex-wife would be sitting on the third pew and he sure wasn’t expecting Marty to be standing three feet from him. He took Anna Ruth’s hand in his and could have dropped down on his knees in thanks when several loud claps of thunder kept his vows from echoing off the walls. Marty couldn’t even hear them, much less Trixie.

  Anna Ruth had just begun her vows when a clap of thunder sounded like someone had set off a nuclear bomb right outside the church. She dropped Andy’s hands, looked at Darla Jean, and squealed, “Just finish it!”

  “I now pronounce you man and wife. Andy, you may kiss the bride,” Darla Jean said just before the next rumble hit.

  “The couple has asked that everyone join them across the street at the community room for the reception,” Darla Jean said. “And I believe you’d better rush because it’s going to rain any minute.”

  The bride and groom rushed down the aisle without the planned wedding music. She picked up her train and he held her hand as they jogged over to the community room. A whole entourage followed behind them. Some of the folks actually made it inside the room before the clouds opened up and rain fell in waves.

  Marty was on her way out of the church when she heard her mother whisper right behind her. Why haven’t you told Trixie? Your friendship is more important than fifty-year-old gossip, and besides, she won’t tell.

  Marty looked over her shoulder and felt disappointed when Claudia wasn’t there.

  Agnes picked up her umbrella. “Come on, Marty. You can share with me. I brought Bert’s big old umbrella, and it’s big enough for both of us.”

  * * *

  Jack popped up an umbrella and held it above Trixie’s head. “Hurry up, and we won’t be soaked.”

  “But the backseat and trunk of my car is loaded with food,” she said.

  “Then I’ll help you get to your car and then go on ahead to get my garage door unlocked. Y’all sure you don’t want to go to the reception?”

  “Hell no! I’ve had all the sticky sweet wedding shit I can stand for a whole year.” Trixie laughed.

  Darla Jean locked the church doors and motioned for her family to follow her. They left by a side door with Lindsey and Betty under one umbrella and Misty, Darla Jean, and Layla under another one.

  “You all look pretty spiffy today,” Darla Jean said.

  “Thank you for inviting us,” Lindsey said.

  “I’m so excited to be going to a party,” Misty said.

  “Hard rain don’t usually last. It’ll be over by the time the party is done,” Betty said.

  “It’s really not a party, girls. It’s just a little get-together at Jack’s new house so we can all see it.”

  “I thought we were going to the wedding reception,” Lindsey said.

  “Trust me, this will be a lot more fun than that reception,” Darla Jean told her.

  * * *

  Jack raised a glass of champagne that Cathy had poured and said, “Welcome to my new home, where the door is always open to my old friends and my new ones. Before we get busy eating all this wonderful food my dearest old friends have fixed, I have a toast. To old friends and to new beginnings and new friends.”

  “That is enough of that old shit.” Marty laughed.

  “You are as old as we are,” Cathy told him.

  “Then to new beginnings for us all.” Jack grinned.

  “Yes, sir!” John said.

  Glasses clinked and everyone took a drink.

  Agnes raised a glass of sweet tea. “To the end of the best year of my life. And you are all welcome!”

  “For what?” Trixie asked.

  “I protected your sorry ass, and that shotgun blast changed your life. Admit it,” Agnes said.

  Trixie smiled. “Okay, I’ll admit it, and it changed for the better.”

  Agnes looked at Darla Jean.

  “What’d I do?”

  “I got God to like you, so you owe me big-time. And you, Marty, I’ve got calluses on my knees from praying for your soul. And Cathy, where do I start?”

  Cathy raised her glass. “Girls?”

  They touched their glasses together and chimed at the same time. “Thank you, Agnes.”

  Agnes smiled. “Now ain’t that nice.”

  * * *

  Later that night, Marty slipped into Trixie’s room. “You asleep?”

  “No, I’m wide awake. Who could sleep with all that thunder still going on? Don’t it know it’s supposed to snow in December, not flash lightning and rattle the windows?”

  Marty sat down on the edge of the bed.

  Trixie sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. “Did you see someone at the wedding that interested you?”

  “Nope, did you?”

  Trixie shook her head. “I’m not ready. But I’m glad that Andy is out of my life, Marty. I really am.”

  “Me too. I voted for Anna Ruth because I promised Mamma on her deathbed that I would do everything in my power to keep Agnes out of that club.”

  “Okay, I understand.” Trixie hugged Marty.

  “But you deserve to know it all, and you’ve got to help me keep Agnes out of the club by whatever means it takes.”

  “Okay. I will. You are forgiven,” Trixie said.

  “Mamma’s mother and Agnes were sisters,” Marty said.

  Trixie laid a hand on Marty’s shoulder. “You don’t have to explain. You’ve got your reasons and it’s all right. I promise. It won’t be there between us anymore.”

  “I know, because I’m going to explain. Grandma told Mamma the story before she died, and then Mamma told me. Agnes has no idea, but if she did, she’d kill Violet.”

  “What did Violet do that was that bad?”

  “Violet was always the queen bee in Cadillac, even as a young girl. When Grandma finally grew the best peppers and won the blue ribbon at the Texas State Fair, it was Violet who came up with the idea for the club so that put her instead of Grandma in the spotlight. Anyway, back when they were young, she got pretty upset when she wanted Bert Flynn and he chose Agnes. She tried to seduce him, but he wasn’t having any part of it.”

  Trixie whispered, “But how would she find out? Violet damn sure wouldn’t tell that kind of thing on herself.”

  “Mamma said that the war between them got stronger every year and she always feared if Agnes got into the club that Violet would say that Bert really did sleep with her after he and Agnes were engaged just to get even with her. She could just see a night when Agnes was praising her precious Bert for something or another and Violet would tell her that she knew from experience that he hadn’t always been faithful.”

  “How in the world did that ever get kept a secret in Cadillac?”

  “Other than Bert and Violet, Grandma was the only one who ever knew and she wasn’t about to tell her sister because she didn’t want Agnes to spend the rest of her life in jail.”

  “How’d she find out?”

  “She overheard V
iolet begging Bert to break it off with Agnes and come back to her the day before Bert and Agnes got married. She promised him anything he wanted if he would. And that’s the reason I voted for Anna Ruth.”

  “Why did your grandmother ever let herself get roped into that club, anyway? The way Agnes and Violet have been at each other’s throats, it’s like she was taking sides against her sister,” Trixie said.

  “Agnes told her to join when Violet came around with the idea of starting the club. She said that Grandma could get Agnes in the club and together, they’d take Violet down. It didn’t work. Every time Grandma nominated Agnes, Violet used her clout to make sure Agnes did not get chosen. By the time Mamma got into it, Violet had so much power that Agnes wasn’t about to get into the club. But this last vote could have been disastrous. It was pretty damn close.”

  “You really think Agnes would get mad enough to kill Violet after all these years?”

  “Bert has been dead more than thirty years. She hasn’t changed a thing in her house and still has all of his clothes. He was a total saint in her eyes. What do you think?”

  Trixie giggled.

  “It’s not funny. I’ve been worried sick since that stupid vote and you are laughing?” Marty said.

  “It is funny! I just realized that Violet Prescott’s wings and halo are as fake as her gold fingernail. Ain’t that the funniest thing ever?”

  “What is the funniest thing ever?” Agnes marched through the open door and plopped down on the bed.

  “Nothing.” Trixie winked at Marty.

  “Well, it’s not the funniest thing ever, whatever the hell it is. Beulah just called me all in a tizzy. Prissy Parnell has done decided that she’s had enough of Buster, and she’s come back to Cadillac. She’s filing for divorce tomorrow morning, and Beulah is terrified that she’s going to go after Jack. Lord, the world would come to a screechin’ halt if Jack married a divorced woman.”

  Marty smiled. “Why?”

  “Hell if I know. God knows he ain’t goin’ to find a thirty-five-year-old virgin like Beulah wants him to have. And there’s more. Ethan and his teacher friend done got married in Las Vegas. I’m sure that since she’s Violet’s daughter-in-law, she’ll fill the place that Cathy left behind when she was the first ever to quit the club. God, I’m proud of that Cathy. No more blue ribbons for that stupid-ass club. They might have to change their name to the Used-To-Be Club. Guess the Jubilee will always be the Jalapeño Jubilee, though. It’s too late to change it after all these years, and besides, Cathy does grow the best peppers in the whole state. Anyway, Prissy will probably take over your spot.”