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What Happens in Texas

Page 31

by Carolyn Brown


  “You are, too,” Patrice said. “And every girl in town has had the hots for Jack at one time or other. What do y’all say we go home and come back tomorrow afternoon to clean this up? We can drive out to the Rib Joint and get some barbecue for supper and have one of my cupcakes for dessert.”

  “I thought you were going to Yancy’s,” Alma Grace said.

  “Sex can wait. I want ribs and beer,” Patrice said.

  “We’d better hurry up. Our mamas went upstairs to change into their cooking aprons. If we aren’t gone when they come back down, they’ll guilt us into helping,” Carlene said.

  “Hey.” Josie poked her head in the door. “I figured it would look like a tornado struck in here. Need some help before I go home?”

  Patrice shook her head. “I thought you were gone.”

  “I was all the way to the car and forgot my keys,” Josie said.

  “We’re not cleaning up tonight. We’re comin’ in tomorrow and taking care of it.”

  “I’m not coming in here tomorrow. When I walk out that door, I’m not coming back until Monday morning, so speak now or forever hold your peace,” Josie said.

  “We’ll take care of it. Enjoy your day without a bunch of company,” Carlene said.

  “Oh, there’s a paper bag in your office, Patrice. It’s got some checks in it from folks who want to help bankroll the Red-Hot Bloomers Team. Did Agnes talk to you about being our stockbroker?”

  Patrice nodded. “I’ve got a bank bag and a spiral notebook full of the folks who are buying stock on both sides of the fence. I hope to hell we win or else Agnes and Violet might wind up in jail again.”

  “Or Mama,” Patrice said. “How much does it take to bail a woman out of jail for fighting? Mama won’t put up with Kitty saying too much more about Aunt Sugar.”

  Josie nodded seriously. “I’m going to the convenience store for a slushy. Y’all want me to bring you one on my way home? And I have no idea how much it’d take to get Sugar out of a jail cell but we’d best find out and have the cash ready. Tansy really would whup that hussy just for upsetting Sugar and truth is she’d enjoy doing it. She and Agnes might even get to share a cell. Not to put any pressure on you about the cook-off, but Alma Grace, you’d best stop prayin’ for Carlene and start prayin’ they learn how to make one helluva world-class bowl of hot chili.”

  Carlene held up her hand. “Patrice, I’ll take a hundred dollars worth of stock on Aunt Tansy if she and Kitty get into a good old catfight but you’ll have to extend me some credit until I build my checking account up again.”

  “Put me down for a hundred on Aunt Tansy and a hundred on Mama. You can bet that Mama will want in on that catfight,” Alma Grace chimed in.

  They all looked at Josie. “Don’t look at me. I’m the one who’s going to hold that mean-spirited bitch down while the Fannin girls snatch her bald-headed. And Alma Grace you can save your self-righteous looks for your cousins. I’d like to see her get her smart ass kicked twice for the stunt she pulled with the candlesticks and glue. I could have called her something a lot worse. Good night, girls. Maybe next week will be normal.”

  Normal!

  They wouldn’t see normal until after the cook-off, if then.

  Carlene yelled up the stairs. “We’re leaving, Mama. Y’all don’t look at the mess in the store. We’ll take care of it tomorrow.”

  “Is Alma Grace going to church in the morning?” Sugar hollered.

  “CNC if I go,” Alma Grace shouted.

  Carlene had the doorknob in her hand when someone pounded on the front door of the shop. “Someone probably left their purse. Hope we can find it among all this mess,” she said as she made her way to the door.

  She slung it open and gasped.

  Lenny took a step forward and glared at her. “What the hell do you think you are doing, entering the chili cook-off? That’s not for women. Are you crazy?” Lenny was yelling so hard that the vein in his head looked like it was about to pop wide open.

  “Are there rules that say women can’t enter? If so, we are going to protest that the contest is sexist and shut down the whole cook-off,” Carlene said.

  “Not written down but it’s understood. This is for men only,” Lenny said.

  “Not anymore,” she said.

  “You won’t win. You’ll just make a fool of your whole family,” he argued.

  “We’ll see about that. You worried that you won’t win the trophy this year?”

  “Oh, I’ll win. I always win, but this year will be real sweet, especially since you tried to break all my trophies,” he growled.

  “But darlin’,” Carlene said in her best sugary-sweet sarcastic voice, “you always said I was your good luck charm, remember?”

  “I just said that to make you feel important,” he said.

  “If you win, you send Bridget on down here and I’ll give her a brand-new pair of red panties. Her choice of bikinis, thongs, or maybe she’ll want some maternity under-britches,” Carlene said.

  “You aren’t funny,” he said hoarsely.

  “It sounded damn funny from my end. Has the April Fools’ joke done a one-hundred-eighty-degree turn to bite you on your sorry ass, Lenny?”

  “Go to hell.” He stormed off the porch.

  Carlene turned around to see both her cousins standing beside the credenza. “Now we really have to win the contest.”

  About the Author

  Carolyn Brown is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling author with more than sixty books published and credits her eclectic family for her humor and writing ideas. Her books include the cowboy trilogy Lucky in Love, One Lucky Cowboy, and Getting Lucky; the Honky-Tonk series I Love This Bar, Hell Yeah, Honky Tonk Christmas, and My Give a Damn’s Busted; and her bestselling Spikes & Spurs series Love Drunk Cowboy, Red’s Hot Cowboy, Darn Good Cowboy Christmas, One Hot Cowboy Wedding, Mistletoe Cowboy, and Just a Cowboy and His Baby. She was born in Texas but grew up in southern Oklahoma, where she and her husband, Charles, a retired English teacher, make their home. They have three grown children and enough grandchildren to keep them young.

  One Texas Cowboy Too Many

  Burnt Boot, Texas

  by Carolyn Brown

  New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

  She’s got too many cowboys on her hands

  Leah Brennan has always been the good girl of the Brennan family, groomed to become the matriarch of the clan. When a dark-eyed, tattooed, ponytailed bad boy saunters into her life, Leah knows he’s off-limits—but his mesmerizing gaze makes her forget everything she used to think was important. As town-wide tension rises, Leah wonders if love really can conquer all…

  And the whole town’s taking sides

  When Rhett O’Donnell roars into Burnt Boot on a hot July evening, the first thing he sees is a beautiful blonde. She puts a little extra giddy-up in his heartbeat, but when Rhett’s desire throws him into the middle of a love triangle and a hundred-year-old feud, he realizes that winning his cowgirl’s heart will be a lot more complicated than he thought.

  Praise for The Trouble with Texas Cowboys:

  “Ruggedly handsome cowboys…a plucky heroine…humorous, heartwarming storytelling…infectious banter…a solid, well-crafted plot…and the chemistry sizzles. One entertaining read.” —RT Book Reviews, 4 Stars

  For more Carolyn Brown, visit:

  www.sourcebooks.com

  A Cowboy Christmas Miracle

  Burnt Boot, Texas

  by Carolyn Brown

  New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

  Opposites might attract…

  The Brennans and the Gallaghers put aside their one-hundred-year feud every Tuesday for their weekly poker game. This week, the stakes are sky-high. Goaded to recklessness, Declan Brennan bets one thousand dollars that he can woo the next woman to walk into the saloon. A minute later, fiery-haired Betsy Gallagher pushes through the doors. If Declan can tame this wild Gallagher, he’ll have earned every penny.
<
br />   If they don’t kill each other first…

  Betsy can outshoot anybody in Burnt Boot and loves ranching more than anything—until she falls for Declan. He’s fallen for her too. But when she discovers what sparked their courtship, Declan will need a Christmas miracle to save his hide—and his heart.

  Praise for The Trouble with Texas Cowboys:

  “Humorous, heartwarming, and full of sass and spunk…” —RT Book Reviews, 4 Stars

  “A delightful romance amid hilarious feuding families… What a treat to be back in Burnt Boot!” —Fresh Fiction

  For more Carolyn Brown, visit:

  www.sourcebooks.com

  Reckless in Texas

  Texas Rodeo

  by Kari Lynn Dell

  Texas Homecoming

  Violet Jacobs is fearless. At least, that’s what the cowboys trusting her to snatch them from under the hooves of bucking bulls think. Outside the ring, she’s got plenty of worries rattling her bones: her young son, her mess of a love life, and lately, her family’s struggling rodeo. When she takes business into her own hands and hires on a hotshot bullfighter, she expects to start a ruckus, but she never expected Joe Cassidy. Rough-and-tumble, cocky and charming, Joe’s everything a superstar should be—and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out he’s way out of Violet’s league.

  Joe came to Texas to escape a life spiraling out of control. He never planned on sticking around, and he certainly never expected to call this dry and dusty backwater home. But Violet is everything he never realized he was missing, and the deeper he’s pulled into her beautiful mess of a family, the more he realizes this fierce rodeo girl may be offering him the one thing he never could find on his own…

  Praise for Kari Lynn Dell:

  “An extraordinarily gifted writer.” —Karen Templeton, three-time RITA award-winning author

  For more Kari Lynn Dell, visit:

  www.sourcebooks.com

  Every Bride Has Her Day

  Magnolia Brides

  by Lynnette Austin

  Cricket O’Malley can’t wait to plant roots back home in Georgia, where she’s returned to restore an abandoned flower shop to its former glory. The only blemish? Her neighbor’s house is even more neglected than her old flower shop, and its occupant seems as surly as he is darkly handsome.

  Devastated body and soul after a tough case went south, New York City detective Sam DeLuca thought he’d have no trouble finding solitude in the quiet Georgia town of Misty Bottoms, but his bubbly neighbor seems determined to shine happiness into Sam’s life. Sam is equally determined to close himself off, but his heart says otherwise…

  Praise for The Best Laid Wedding Plans:

  “Entertaining…the push and pull of emotion feels real.” —RT Book Reviews, 4 Stars

  “An intriguing premiere…well-developed characters and sensual romantic tension.” —Publishers Weekly

  For more Lynnette Austin, visit:

  www.sourcebooks.com

  Trouble Walks In

  The McGuire Brothers

  by Sara Humphreys

  New York Times and USA Today bestselling author

  He could be the man to rescue her

  Big-city K-9 cop Ronan McGuire loves women, loves his dog, loves his job—but when old flame Maddy Morgan moves into his jurisdiction, he can’t think about anyone else. Ronan knows she’s way out of his league, but he’s determined to help Maddy live life to the fullest.

  In more ways than one

  With tragedy in her past, Maddy has immersed herself in work and swiftly made a name for herself in the hot New York City real estate market. She’s looking for safety, not love, but Ronan McGuire is as persistent as he is sexy, and his crooked smile is hard to resist. But all other concerns are wiped away when Maddy goes missing and Ronan and his bloodhound K-9 partner are tasked with finding her and bringing her home.

  Praise for Brave the Heat:

  “Boasts suspense that burns as hot as the love scenes.” —Publishers Weekly

  “An amazing new series starring everyday heroes… Brave the Heat tells the moving tale of fear and tragedy, love and loss, and second chances to get it right.” —Heroes and Heartbreakers

  For more Sara Humphreys, visit:

  www.sourcebooks.com

  May the Best Man Win

  Best Men

  by Mira Lyn Kelly

  USA Today bestselling author

  Four friends. Each a best man at a wedding. One chance to get it right.

  Jase Foster can’t believe his bad luck. He’s been paired with the she-devil herself for his best friend’s wedding: Emily Klein of the miles-long legs and killer smile. She may be sin in a bridesmaid dress, but there’s no way he’s falling for her again.

  They can barely stand each other, but given how many of their friends are getting married, they’ll just have to play nice—at least when they’re in company. Once they’re alone, more than just gloves come off as Jase and Emily discover their chemistry is combustible, and there may be something to this enemies-to-lovers thing after all…

  Praise for Mira Lyn Kelly:

  “Mira Lynn Kelly is a master storyteller.” —Romance Reviews

  “Mira Lyn Kelly’s writing always sparkles.” —Lauren Layne, USA Today bestselling author

  “Sexy and with a truly fresh voice.” —Tina Leonard, New York Times bestselling author

  For more Mira Lyn Kelly, visit:

  www.sourcebooks.com

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