SAHM I Am
Page 4
Anyway, you asked for advice—here’s mine…short of getting a job in Omaha, which would be the ideal situation, of course. I bet it’s really hard for her to take care of everything all by herself when you’re gone. I know it would be exhausting for me. She needs to know she has your support, even long-distance. Start showing Dulcie how much you miss her and need her. Write her e-mails just to tell her how your day went, or that you love her. Ask her how you can help with the girls—maybe call them at bedtime and tell them good-night. Find out what Dulcie needs, and get it for her if at all possible. And romance her! I told you that when you were dating. Well, it doesn’t end at the altar. We girls need romancing until the day we go home to be with Jesus. (And that’s a good reminder for Jordan, too, who is STILL reading over my shoulder. Good grief, he needs to get a life!) :)
Listen, I have to go—Grace is being every inch the “terrible two” that she is, and I have to nurse Luke. I can’t believe he’s already a month old—it goes so fast!
With love,
Becky
P.S. Did you know Mom is actually DATING somebody? His name is Morris Hash, and he lives in Branson, and works with Mom at Shoji. I guess it’s been going on for a couple of months now. I’m glad for her—it wasn’t easy for her to be alone all those years. I just hope this Hash guy treats her better than Dad did. She’s bringing him to visit us in a week, so I’ll make sure to tell you what I think after I meet him.
* * *
From:
Brenna L.
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
No apology necessary
* * *
Hi Dulcie,
Thanks for your e-mail—don’t worry about it. Darren is wonderful, but we have our problems, too. In fact, I was planning to write to you about something. I was reading the Loop archives and I noticed you mentioned you were adopted from Guatemala. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind sharing with me about that experience.
When I mentioned my 7-year-old daughter, Madeline, I left out that she’s the result of a very stupid choice I made as a 16-year-old, but one of the best blessings in my life. At first, I thought about giving her up for adoption, but my parents said they would help me raise her until I finished high school. After that, we were on our own. I worked part-time and took courses at the community college in Bartlesville. That’s where I met Darren. He was taking business classes to run the family farm with his dad. He didn’t mind that I had a daughter, and we got married three years ago. Now we live on the farm in a little house near his parents’ big house.
The problem is, we’ve been trying to get pregnant for two years, with no luck. Darren is afraid it might be his fault because obviously I’ve been pregnant already. But I wonder if maybe something happened to me because I was young when I had Madeline. Either way, we can’t afford infertility treatments, and I’m not sure we want to. I was interested in international adoption, but I don’t know anything about it. I haven’t been brave enough to bring it up with Darren. Not sure how he would react to it.
If you don’t want to talk about your adoption, I understand. I’m not trying to be nosy.
Friends,
Brenna
* * *
From:
Thomas Huckleberry
To:
Jordan and Becky
Subject:
Re: Need some advice…
* * *
Becky,
You probably won’t believe I’m saying this, but thank you for the advice. You’re likely right. From now on, I’ll be more involved, try to meet her needs, be a better support for her and the girls. I want to show her that I understand how hard it is for them when I’m gone and make sure she knows how much I need her. This better work. I love her and the girls with all my heart, and I really do miss them.
Thanks, sis!
Tom
* * *
From:
VIM
To:
Rosalyn Ebberly
Subject:
Something funny
* * *
Boy howdy, Frank said the funniest thing to Mama and Daddy today! They arrived last night for a visit, and Frank got to teasing them this morning. “Mama, Papa Stewart,” he says, “we are honored to have you visit our home. It is a pleasure to see you again so soon after the wedding. But my Nica and I, we are newlyweds, and need time to wrap ourselves in our private world of love. Why do you not visit your other daughter—Rosalyn?” Then he dipped me for a theatrical kiss.
Daddy laughed and slapped Frank on the back. “You’ve never met Ros, have you?”
No joke! But there ya go. Now isn’t that TOO funny? :)
Veronica
* * *
From:
Rosalyn Ebberly
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
[SAHM I Am] TOTW August 16: Foot-In-Mouth Disease
* * *
Tactful Talkers,
I have noticed that there are some people in this world who cannot help but stick their feet in their mouths on occasion. Whether it is the store clerk who mutters inappropriate things within our children’s keen hearing, or the well-meaning friend or relation who unwittingly insults us, many individuals simply lack tact. This week, I’d like us to discuss how we can respond to such unexpected attacks and how we can teach our children to keep a guard on their tongues.
I always find it useful to return good for evil. I like to respond with a “I’m sure you didn’t mean that to come out in such a nasty, spiteful way, so even though I ought to be livid at your rudeness and insensitivity, I choose to forgive you and extend to you mercy—which, as we all know, means showing compassion and kindness to someone who is in no way deserving of it.”
I also make a point to never be guilty of the same offense myself. After all, Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
Sweetly,
Rosalyn Ebberly,
SAHM I Am Loop Moderator
“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)
* * *
From:
Rosalyn Ebberly
To:
VIM
Subject:
Re: Something funny
* * *
Dearest Ronnie,
You might want to be careful about how your little stories come across. I knew what you meant, but someone who didn’t know you might have thought you were being unkind. Since you don’t read the Bible, you won’t be familiar with this verse, but I always find it helpful to keep in mind. Consider it a friendly bit of advice from your loving big sister:
“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion.” Proverbs 11:22.
Lovingly,
Rosalyn
“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
Brenna L.
Subject:
Adoption
* * *
Dear Brenna,
Anyone who knows me knows I’m very open about my adoption. I’ll be glad to answer whatever questions I can for you, but my parents’ experience of twenty-three years ago is bound to be much different than the process today. I know it’s still pretty expensive, though.
One thing that doesn’t change is the ignorance of some people. Shortly after my parents brought me home, a couple stopped them at church. “Are you going to tell her she’s adopted?” the wife asked my mom.
Mom tells me she looked down at my chocolate-brown eyes and wavy, dark hair and swallowed her smile. “I don’t know. Lawrence and I are blond and blue-eyed—do you think she’ll notice?”
According to the story, the lady blushed like a bouquet of roses. “Oh! I guess so!”
My dad couldn’t resist adding, “Well, Maureen, maybe we won’t have to tell Dulcie she’s adopted after all. I mean, if no one else can see the difference…”
My folks had a good laugh about it later—but that’s only one of our family’s “stupid comments about adoption” stories. I’ll have to tell you more sometime.
Z e-mailed me that you’re chatting with us tonight! I’ll talk to you then.
Hugs,
Dulcie
* * *
From:
Brenna L.
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: Adoption
* * *
Dulcie,
Chatting with you all last night was fun. Thanks for including me. And thanks for being willing to talk about adoption, too. We could have a great time swapping “stupid comments” stories because there is an entire set for infertility also. My favorite is “Well, I get pregnant if my husband just looks at me.” I’m always like, “Really? What happens to the other women he looks at?”
I know, I know—as a Christian, I shouldn’t return rudeness for rudeness. But if they only knew how much their words hurt!
Brenna
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
Brenna L.
Subject:
Stupid comments
* * *
Hi Brenna,
I’m sorry to hear people are so insensitive. I get dumb remarks about my twins, too, but I’m sure those don’t sting so much compared to what you have to deal with. I will pray for you and your husband—that’s got to be very painful.
Here’s one of the funniest twin comments I’ve received, just to make you smile:
Lady in Grocery Store, peering at Haley and Aidan in their baby seats: “(gasp!) You’ve got TWO babies!”
Me, after a difficult day, with no patience remaining: “Yeah! There’s a buy-one-get-one-free sale in the next aisle over. If you hurry, I think there’s still a couple left!”
She about fell over her cart in her hurry to get away. I should feel guilty, but I feel guiltier about not feeling guilty. :)
Grins,
Dulcie
* * *
From:
Brenna L.
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: Stupid comments
* * *
Thanks, Dulcie, you have no idea how much I needed a smile today. :)
Brenna
* * *
From:
Thomas Huckleberry
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
Love Note
* * *
Darling Dulcie,
I was on a break here at work and was thinking about you. Imagining those dark eyes, and the sweetness of your lips. I just wanted to send you a note and let you know I’m counting the minutes until I can be with you again, to feel your arms around me, to hear the melody of your voice. I can’t wait to plunge my fingers into your thick tresses and sweep you off your feet so we can lose ourselves in the paradise of our love.
Love,
Tom
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
I’m TERRIFIED!!
* * *
You guys, I think someone hijacked Tom’s computer. Or his brain. You have to read the attached e-mail. I’m freaked out! (By the way, I added Brenna to our Green Eggs alias. Hi, Brenna!)
Dulcie
* * *
From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: I’m TERRIFIED!!
* * *
To quote the bard:
“Beshrew me, but his passion moves me so, that hardly can I check my eyes from tears…”
What on earth did you do to that poor man, Dulcie?
Freaked out with you, babe,
Z
* * *
From:
The Millards
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: I’m TERRIFIED!!
* * *
FREAKED OUT? Do you know what some girls would do to get an e-mail like that from their husbands? In fact, I don’t believe he wrote it. I think you made it up to make us jealous. :)
Jocelyn
* * *
From:
Thomas Huckleberry
To:
Jordan and Becky
Subject:
Implementing the plan
* * *
Hi Becky!
You’d be proud of me. After patching things up with Dulcie on Monday over the phone, I sent her an e-mail today. And not just any e-mail—a LUV note. Can’t show it to you—it’s too personal, just between me and Dulcie.
You didn’t tell me it would be so hard! I started over about six times before I finally got smart. The secretary here always reads romance novels during her lunch break. I swallowed my pride and asked to see it. She looked at me like I was crazy, then she got all gooey-eyed on me. Told me she thought it was real touching to meet a guy who liked romance and wasn’t afraid to show it. BRU—THER! Anyway, I snuck the book to my desk and just copied some of the stuff I thought a girl would like. Piece of cake!
By the way, you don’t read that junk, do you? Some of it made me blush! If I ever catch Dulcie with a book like that, I’ll burn it. It was hard work finding things to write that wouldn’t get me fired! Anyway, I’ll let you know how she responds—IF it’s appropriate for my kid sister’s ears, that is.
Thanks again!
Tom
* * *
From:
Jordan and Becky
To:
Thomas Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: Implementing the plan
* * *
I do not read those sort of books! :)
Good for you for trying your hand at writing a love note. However, I think one written in your own words would have just as much impact, and then you don’t have to worry about borrowing any more novels from the secretary. How about that, okay?
Are you and Dulcie hosting Thanksgiving? I know it’s only August, but Mom was wanting to know, and Jordan’s got to get that Wednesday off. Mom wants to bring Morris, just so you’re prepared. They’re coming this weekend—I think it sounds serious.
Love,
Becky
P.S. Jordan says you’d better fork over the note or else. You might as well—she probably passed it around to all her friends anyway. Which means all their husbands have seen it, too. Why keep your sister and brother-in-law in the dark? :)
* * *
From:
Thomas Huckleberry
To:
Jordan and Becky
Subject:
Re: Implementing the plan
* * *
Dulcie wouldn’t do that. Trust me. I’m the one who’s known her almost six years, remember? She’s got more sense than that. You can tell Jordan neither of you are EVER going to see that e-mail. Writing it made me really miss her. I
should think about trying to get a job with less travel. It’s just that with the programming market being what it is right now, it’s not a smart time to be looking. Did you know they’re talking about sending me to Alaska this spring?