SAHM I Am
Page 21
“Second, you must commit to making your home a priority. Many books and organizing systems claim you can have a sparkling home in ‘only minutes a day.’ My friends, we must realize that you will never get something for nothing. Effort, determination, dedication and sacrifice are the only true ways to achieving domestic bliss.
“Third, you must have a specific plan of attack. This is as much a spiritual battle as a physical one, and strategy is of the utmost importance. Do not think you can enter the war for your home with little thought or preparation. You will be sabotaged by the guerrilla warfare of the enemy.”
Isn’t that wonderful advice? I know the anticipation is building—so let’s share this week our ideas for organizing and making our homes clean, sanitary, efficient and orderly. Even though it’s not in the Bible, I think there is much truth in the statement “Cleanliness is next to Godliness.”
Death to Dirt!
Rosalyn Ebberly
SAHM I Am Loop Moderator
“She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Proverbs 31:27 (NASB)
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW March 7: Tips for Efficient Household Organization and Management
* * *
Oh goodie! I can hardly wait. Spring cleaning is on my list of favorite things to do, right up there with getting my flu shot, changing blow-out diapers and having morning sickness.
Dulcie
* * *
From:
The Millards
To:
SAHM I Am
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW March 7: Tips for Efficient Household Organization and Management
* * *
Have any of you seen the www.flylady.com Web site? It’s this entire system for keeping your house clean and organized. I just love it! It was overwhelming at first, but now it actually makes decluttering my house rather fun. My favorite activities are shining my sink and the 27-Fling Boogie.
Have a great day!
Jocelyn
* * *
From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
The Millards
Subject:
Re: [SAHM I AM] TOTW March 7: Tips for Efficient Household Organization and Management
* * *
You are one sick woman, Joc. ;)
Z
* * *
From:
P. Lorimer
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Something is wrong.
* * *
Jonathan just called me from the church. There’s something weird going on. Jonathan needed to make an appointment with somebody, but his new secretary was in the restroom. So he just peeked at her calendar to see what his available times would be. He noticed that tomorrow night she has penciled in, in tiny letters “Elders, 8:30, at Jorgensen’s.” But the regular board meeting isn’t until next week, and it’s always at the church, not in one of the homes. No one notified him of any meetings. So he asked her about it when she came back, and she was a bit miffed that he had looked at her calendar. She said she’d just written down the wrong time and date in her book and hadn’t erased it yet. But something strange is going on.
I can’t imagine what it would be—we haven’t had any disagreements with anyone, and nobody has indicated any dissatisfaction. I guess there’s nothing wrong with the elders wanting to get together without us. After all, they were all friends long before we arrived. It’s silly to be so paranoid. But the whole thing was a little odd.
On a bright note, Bennet took his first steps this morning! I was so happy for him. I wish we had a video camera or something, but I couldn’t even find my 35-millimeter in time.
Phyllis
* * *
From:
The Millards
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Bennet…
* * *
…walking today, running by next Tuesday. Way to go, little guy!
Jocelyn
* * *
From:
P. Lorimer
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: Bennet…
* * *
<…walking today, running by next Tuesday.>
Hold your tongue, Ms. Millard! He gets into enough trouble as it is! :)
Hugs,
Phyllis
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
You are NOT going to believe this
* * *
I just know you won’t. I can hardly believe it myself, so why you would, I don’t know. Why I’m even bothering to tell you, when it is so bizarrely unbelievable, is a mystery to me. I mean, you think you’ve heard some strange things? This tops it all.
Dulcie
* * *
From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: You are NOT going to believe this
* * *
Oh, come on, Dulcie. Spill already! Don’t play these little games with me, girl. :)
Z
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: You are NOT going to believe this
* * *
Okay, okay. Well, I just got off the phone with Jeanine, my MIL. She up and announced that she and Morris have decided to get married at the Shoji Tabuchi Theater. On the stage, for crying out loud! And you’ll never guess who is providing the music—the maestro himself. How that happened, I don’t know. All Mom would say is, “Oh, sweetie, that’s just the effect Morris has on people. He’s such a dear.” Ack! Pardon me while I go chug some Mylanta.
Tom says this is his mother’s “defense mechanism” for dealing with anxiety. She does tend toward the theatrical anytime she’s nervous. Tom thinks she’s really scared about the idea of getting married again, so she is reacting by lowering her inhibitions and making it into a show. All I know is that we’re all going to need counseling by the time this is over!
Oh, I didn’t tell you the best part—they want to have their wedding photos taken in the theater bathrooms! Argh! Only in Branson can something like this happen….
Dulcie
* * *
From:
P. Lorimer
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Bathroom wedding photos?
* * *
I don’t understand. Why would anyone want their wedding photos taken in a bathroom?
Phyllis
* * *
From:
Brenna L.
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Not just ANY bathroom…
* * *
Hey, Phyllis,
You obviously have never been to Branson. :) The Shoji bathrooms are legendary. Completely outrageous. I’m talking black onyx, marble, gold-leaf, stained glass, chandeliers, lion’s head sinks, you name it. The women’s restroom has a fountain and a fireplace. The men’s has black leather chairs and a hand-carved pool table in it! People stop at the theater just to go peek in the bathrooms. It’s crazy. But I never heard of anyone having their wedding photos taken there….
Brenna
* * *
From:
The Millards
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: Not just ANY bathroom…
* * *
We visited there a couple of years ago. The ladies’ room has an orchid on every sink, and a maid who dispenses hand lotion to you as you go out. Is your MIL going to let the maid be in the shoot, too? It would be appropriate, you know…having a bride’s maid in the photos….
Jocelyn
* * *
From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: Not just ANY bathroom…
* * *
GROAN! Boo hiss! A pun, my father always says, is the lowest form of humor.
Seriously, though, Dulcie, she’s going to have her wedding pictures in the bathroom?
Z
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Wedding Branson Style
* * *
Yep. I don’t know what’s worse—that, or her idea of having Morris, dressed in a white tuxedo, ride down the aisle and onto the stage on a white horse swathed in marabou and sequins to “Ride of the Valkyries.” She says it’s more biblical to have the groom travel down the aisle because in Bible times, the bride always waited for the groom to come get her. So if she actually gets her way on that, we’ll have the normal processional, and then we’ll all wait onstage while poor Morris appears on his noble steed.
Evidently, Shoji is letting them use all the theatrical lighting, and most of the musicians have offered to play, as well, as their gift to the happy couple. It’s going to be a show you won’t want to miss. Or maybe you will…*sigh* Why can’t I have normal relatives? At least I will look a little less like a giant wad of buble gum in my dress. I am beginning to discover my inner drinking straw….
Dulcie
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: Wedding Branson Style
* * *
Hi, Dulcie! I was going to comment on the theological error of your mother expecting her fiancé to ride down the aisle on a white horse. But then I started thinking, “Oh, wait a moment, she’s just exaggerating for emphasis.” So, I’m not going to say anything, except that the picture you painted in my mind made me laugh. See? I am learning to have a sense of humor!
Phyllis
* * *
From:
P. Lorimer
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: Wedding Branson Style
* * *
Alas, Phyllis, my friend…this time I was being totally serious. She really intends to do just that.
Dulcie
* * *
From:
P. Lorimer
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: Wedding Branson Style
* * *
Oh, dear. I’m so sorry to hear that. My deepest sympathies.
Phyllis
* * *
From:
Zelia Muzuwa
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: Wedding Branson Style
* * *
Hey, Dulcie! This sounds like fun! Any chance you could arrange a bus tour for us? :)
Z
* * *
From:
The Millards
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
Re: Wedding Branson Style
* * *
Definitely can’t have a Branson-style wedding without a bus tour!
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
“Green Eggs and Ham”
Subject:
You guys…
* * *
…this isn’t funny! It’s humiliating! She just sent me an e-mail saying that Shoji is so excited about the wedding that he wants to make it into a videotape to sell in their gift shop! This is awful. What’s next? Yakov Smirnoff officiating the ceremony?
Dulcie
* * *
From:
J. Huckleberry
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
Wedding question
* * *
Dulcie dear,
I just had the most wonderful idea! Since this wedding event is becoming rather large, I could use some help. You are so organized and efficient, and with your artistic eye for decorating, I think you would be just the person. I was wondering if I could count on you to be my wedding coordinator.
I know you’re also going to be in the ceremony, as well as taking care of McKenzie, but this wouldn’t be so much work. Just decorating the theater and the bathrooms, directing the rehearsal, cueing the processional, that sort of thing. Please? It would mean so much to me to know I have someone dependable taking care of those little details for me.
Thanks, sweetie,
Jeanine
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
J. Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: Wedding question
* * *
I don’t know, Mom. That sounds like a huge job. Wouldn’t it be better to ask someone in connection with the theater? I’d have no idea where anything was or what the rules were. And I must have you fooled—I’m neither organized or efficient.:)
Dulcie
* * *
From:
J. Huckleberry
To:
Dulcie Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: Wedding question
* * *
Of course the house manager will be helping you with whatever you need. I’ve already set that up. You’ll be just fine. Don’t worry about a thing.
Love,
Mom
* * *
From:
Dulcie Huckleberry
To:
J. Huckleberry
Subject:
Re: Wedding question
* * *
Mom, I really don’t think this is a good idea. What am I supposed to do with the girls while I’m setting everything up? And during the rehearsal?