A Clean Slate (Kansas Crossroads Book 4)

by Amelia C. Adams

  “What you saw yesterday . . . what you saw was a resurgence of my former temper. For some reason, when you said what you did, I became offended, and my reaction was an instinct from my past. I have been ashamed to the bone that I didn’t control it better. I believed that I was far beyond my former self, and to learn that I wasn’t was disheartening, to say the least. That you bore the brunt of it was even worse.”

  Olivia sat quietly for a moment, sorting through everything he’d just said. Then a thought struck her, and she began to chuckle. “This whole time . . .” she said between guffaws. “This whole time . . . I’ve disliked you because you were so perfect, so untouched by the world, so seemingly unaware of real challenges and real hardships. And all this time, I had no idea that you’ve worked hard to become that way and that you’ve actually risen above the world to a new place in your life. I find that horribly ironic, and now I feel as though I owe you an apology. I judged you harshly, Pastor, and I hope you can forgive me.”

  He turned to her with an astonished look on his face. “I believed that telling you my circumstances would make you shy away from me, and yet, you’re apologizing to me for being too harsh? Come now, Miss Markham, that hardly makes sense.”

  She shrugged. “I’m not sure how to explain it except to say, I’m so relieved to discover that you’re human. For a time, I wasn’t sure at all. I also find myself admiring your strength of character and your dedication to making necessary changes. Few men would do what you’ve done, and I’m glad to know you.”

  He still wore a look of shock. “And the pond?”

  She pressed her lips together to hide a smile. “If I step back and look at it from another angle, it was pretty funny. I must have been quite a sight, coming out of the water covered with algae. You should never do such a thing again—it was an awful way to vent your anger—but I’m inclined to put it in the past if you can forgive me for my mistakes as well.”

  He held out his hand, and she took it. “It’s a deal, Miss Markham. May we please start afresh? We’ve had so many ups and downs since we met just a short time ago—it hardly seems possible that two people could manage so much arguing in such a condensed period of time.”

  “I agree. Let’s begin again. Only this time, you must call me Olivia.”

  He grinned. “And I’m Robert. And we’ll be friends now?”

  “Yes, we will be friends. And you must tell me all about Johnny, and if he’s anything like what you were like as a boy, and you must take a moment to praise me for the choir performance this morning because you haven't even mentioned it.”

  “You’re right, and that’s a horrible oversight on my part. I thought the arrangement was very nice. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a choir performance more. You have a gift, Olivia—you truly do.”

  Olivia had been complimented a great many times in her life, usually in a condescending way or by someone who hoped to be benefitted by the relationship to some extent. Robert’s tone was entirely sincere, and she could appreciate this compliment all the more for it. “And I enjoyed your sermon. Not only have I fallen prey to those wagging tongues, but I’ve been guilty myself, and I’ll be more careful from now on.”

  He shook his head, looking rueful. “I’m glad you enjoyed the sermon—no one else did. You wouldn’t believe the number of lectures I received after church. The list of scriptures that address gossiping is quite lengthy—we can be in no doubt as to how the Lord feels about it—and yet, it was as though I’d made the whole thing up. That’s how it is whenever you address a very real topic—as long as I’m preaching against something that someone else is doing, it’s all right.”

  “That must be frustrating for you,” Olivia said. Truth be told, she’d never considered it from a pastor’s point of view. How frustrating indeed.

  “It is sometimes. But then I remembered how hard it was for me to learn the error of my ways. Most of these folks aren’t in as deeply as I was, but I can understand how hard it is to hear the call to repentance.” He pulled out his pocket watch and checked the time. “Shall we head back?”

  “Yes, let’s.”

  They continued to talk as they strolled back to the hotel. “Do you ever regret becoming a pastor?” she asked.

  “No, not at all. I frequently doubt myself, wondering if I’m doing a good job, if I’m really what the people need. But my path is clear to me—this is what the Lord would have me do.”

  Olivia kicked a rock on the path as she walked. “And what about Bess? Did she ever marry?”

  “No, she never did. She and Johnny live in their own little place by themselves near her aunt, and I send them a bit from time to time. For a while, I wondered if she and I would ever get a second chance, but she made it clear that she’s not interested. Her mother didn’t want her to marry an abusive man, and she doesn’t want to be a pastor’s wife. No matter which life I’m living, she and I are not meant to be.”

  They reached the hotel gate, and Robert reached out for her hand again. “Thank you for listening to me, Olivia. It means a lot to me, as does your forgiveness.”

  “Thank you for entrusting me with your experiences.” It must have been difficult for him to share his past in that way, not fully knowing if he could trust her with it. She would not betray him.

  They bid each other good night, and then Olivia climbed the stairs to her room. What an incredibly odd night, and what a compelling story. She’d never met a man like Robert Osbourne before, and something told her, she never would again. He was unique in all the world for the man that he was.

  Chapter Twelve

  Olivia stepped back and surveyed the fabric she had spread out on the table. Abigail had insisted that she be the one to arrange the pattern and cut the pieces, and she was giving it her best effort. “Did I do this right?” she asked, craning her neck from side to side as she tried to get a better idea of what to do.

  Abigail joined her at the table. “You did it mostly right,” she said. “But you’ve got to pay attention to the direction of the pattern. On this half of the bodice, you’ve got the stripes going up and down, but on this half, they go side to side. That would look rather odd, don’t you think?”

  Olivia shook her head. “I’m trying, I really am. This just doesn’t come naturally to me.”

  “After your third or fourth dress, you’ll have the hang of it,” Rachel said from her spot at the sewing machine.

  Olivia removed the pins from the bodice piece and turned it the other direction. “How’s that?”

  “Much better. You can start cutting now.”

  Mrs. Dempsey stuck her head in the room a moment later. “Are you girls hungry? I’ve just pulled some bread from the oven.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Dempsey. I’d love some,” Rachel said. “And I think Olivia’s about ready for a break.”

  “Yes, I am,” Olivia admitted, and they followed Mrs. Dempsey into her kitchen.

  After everyone had taken a slice and smothered it with butter and jam, Mrs. Dempsey leaned forward and spoke confidingly. “I understand that you were seen driving around with Leo Perry, Olivia.”

  “That’s right. He brought me home from the church picnic on Saturday, and then he came again on Sunday evening.”

  The older woman’s eyes sparkled. “He hasn’t shown too much interest in any of the local girls. There’s tell that he has a romantic interest in Wichita—he does a lot of business there, you know—but if you can tempt him to stay a little closer to home, that would be something indeed. The few girls he has spoken with here in town have reported themselves quite heartbroken that he never pursued them after their first meeting.”

  The words of Robert’s sermon came back to Olivia’s mind, and once again, she could appreciate the wisdom of them. “We’re just friends, Mrs. Dempsey. I really have no idea if it will ever be more than that.”

  “I for one will be watching very curiously.”

  Olivia finished her snack in silence, wondering just how many other
people would also be watching her curiously. She liked Mr. Perry a great deal and she certainly looked forward to spending more time with him. However, she didn’t like being linked with him romantically in the town buzz when there was still so much she didn’t know about him and they were still in the very beginning stages of friendship, let alone anything more.

  As the girls went back in to continue working on the dress, Abigail took Olivia’s arm and whispered, “Don’t pay any attention to her. She’s completely harmless—she just has so very little to do with her time when she doesn’t have boarders. I feel quite sorry for her, actually.”

  “Thank you, Abigail.” Olivia took a step toward her project at the table, but then paused. “May I ask you something? Have . . . have I changed since coming to Topeka? As a person, I mean?”

  Abigail and Rachel exchanged glances. “Yes, I’d say that you have,” Abigail replied after a pause. “Rachel and I were talking about it just last night.”

  “And? What did you decide about me?” Olivia tried to sound humorous, but she was very eager to hear what they had to say. Eager, and yet apprehensive.

  “You’re softer,” Abigail said. “You’re more considerate when you speak to people.”

  “And you haven’t snapped at a customer in over a week,” Rachel added.

  “Best of all, you’re starting to feel like a friend, a real friend.” Abigail gave her a warm smile. “I think there have been nothing but very nice changes.”

  Olivia couldn’t help the tears that sprang to her eyes. “Thank you,” she said after a moment of trying to collect herself. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

  ***

  Olivia took a deep breath and clutched the folded shawl a little tighter as she walked up the lane leading to Mrs. King’s house. Choir practice was that night, but she wanted to return the shawl in a more private setting than simply handing it back at the church. She didn’t know what to say to this woman who had been one of her most fierce detractors and yet had lent her shawl when it was needed. It was a contradiction, to be sure.

  A gray cat scampered around Olivia’s ankles as she climbed the steps to the porch, and it was all she could do not to lose her balance. She must have looked quite a sight as Mrs. King opened the screen door and shooed the cat away.

  “That’s just Brutus. He likes making a nuisance of himself,” she said by way of explanation. “Hello, Miss Markham. What brings you by?”

  “I’ve come to return your shawl and to thank you for lending it to me,” Olivia replied. “I would have brought it sooner, but things at the hotel have been rather busy lately, and I couldn’t get away.” That was a white lie. In truth, it had taken her this long to work up the courage to come, but she didn’t want to tell Mrs. King that.

  The woman reached out and took the proffered bundle. “I was glad to see you at church on Sunday and that your chill didn’t turn into something worse.”

  “I was very glad of that myself. Thank you.” Olivia stood there awkwardly, not sure what else to say or how to excuse herself politely.

  “I . . . I wanted to speak to you, too,” Mrs. King said, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “The song turned out real nice on Sunday, and I’m sorry I wasn’t more supportive of the changes you wanted to make. I’m looking forward to tonight and seeing what you have for us.”

  That was certainly unexpected. “Thank you, Mrs. King. You and the other choir members did very well indeed, and I do believe we’ll get along well together.” Olivia nodded. “I’ll see you tonight, then. I’m sorry, but I must get back to the hotel.”

  As she left the Kings’ property, Olivia shook her head in disbelief. Mrs. King had apologized, something she hadn’t anticipated at all. She had most likely misjudged this woman as well. She had done quite a lot of that, and she would need to stop rushing to such quick opinions of people. After all, wasn’t that what she despised—when people rushed to judgements about her?

  Choir practice that night went very well. Robert sat in, saying that he’d like to witness her methods for himself, which made her laugh. Did she even have methods? She wasn’t sure that she did. Whatever it was, the pastor’s presence or her so-called methods, the singers were able to learn the new arrangement quickly, and when Olivia left the chapel that night, she was well satisfied. What a remarkable feeling to have about something she’d never wanted to do in the first place.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Early the next afternoon, Oliva stuck her head into Robert’s office, hoping she wasn’t interrupting him. “Hello,” she said cheerfully. “Mrs. Little said I could just come on in.”

  “And she’s right. How are you doing?”

  “I’m well. You look busy.”

  Robert set down his pen and stretched. “I’ve just been working on Sunday’s sermon. I need to take it a little easy on the congregation after the tongue lashing I gave them the other day, but it’s proving tricky. Apparently, I like giving tongue lashings and never knew it until now.”

  Olivia laughed. “Why do you think I’m so ornery most of the time? There’s a certain satisfaction in it.”

  He chuckled in return. “So, what brings you by? Please, have a seat and tell me all about it.”

  She sat down and put a piece of paper on his desk. “After last night’s successful practice, and after our conversation the other day, I’ve found myself actually excited to begin teaching the choir new pieces. There was something about the way you spoke of your commitment to your calling that sparked a desire in me to do better in this position, and I sat down with the hymnbook and began to choose out our next selections. But then I wondered if you knew the topics of your sermons for the next few weeks so I could match the music to your sermon.”

  Robert leaned back and appraised her. “This is quite a nice change. And you’re saying that my story brought it about?”

  “You opened my eyes to the importance of a good cause. I decided the least I could do was help you with yours.”

  “And it’s very appreciated. Thank you, Olivia. To answer your question, no, I don’t always know the topics of my sermons beforehand. Sometimes I’ll get the idea for the next one as I’m sitting down from delivering the last one. Sometimes I’ll be without any idea at all until Saturday night. And then there are times when I’ll have my sermon all prepared, but I’ll feel as though I should talk about something else entirely. That’s what happened this last Sunday, and now the sermon I had meant to give doesn’t seem quite right anymore.”

  “So matching the song to the sermon isn’t possible?” Olivia asked.

  “I’ll tell you what. Each week, I’ll tell you what I think it’s going to be, and then come Sunday, we’ll see if that’s what it actually is. It will be a surprise, you might say. For both of us.”

  Olivia chuckled. “I can live with that.”

  She startled when the door of Robert’s office suddenly flew open and Dr. Wayment came in, his tie askew. “Molly Cannell’s asking for you, Robert,” he said, his breath ragged. “I’ve spent the whole night there, and there’s nothing more I can do. I have my buggy outside. Can you come?”

  “Of course.” Robert had already stood up and was putting on his suitcoat.

  “May . . . may I come along?” Olivia asked, surprised to find herself asking. “Perhaps having another woman there . . .”

  “I agree,” Dr. Wayment said. “You may bring her a measure of comfort.”

  “Let’s go, then,” Robert said. “But we have one quick stop to make on the way.”

  ***

  Colonel Gordon looked downright befuddled. “You’re asking me to release my prisoner?” Olivia was sure she looked every bit as befuddled as the colonel. What on earth was Robert doing?

  “Not so much releasing him as letting him out for the afternoon,” Robert replied. “You can accompany him and make sure he doesn’t try to escape, but I have a feeling he won’t.”

  The colonel shook his head. “You are a strange one, Pastor. All right—your requ
est is granted, but if anything goes wrong, I’m holding you responsible. Hanks!”

  The deputy marshal came from a back room. “Yes, sir?”

  “Bring Cannell out front here, please. Handcuffs, no leg irons.”

  The deputy looked confused, but didn’t argue. A moment later, Mr. Cannell walked into the main room of the marshal’s office, his hands cuffed in front of him. He caught sight of Robert and sneered. “Come to do your Christian duty, visiting people in jail?” Olivia took a step back, not wanting to be noticed. She wondered, not for the first time, why she hadn’t chosen to wait in the buggy with the doctor.

  “Pastor, do you want to tell him why you’re here, or do you want me to?” the colonel asked.

  Robert took a step forward, his hat in his hand. “Mr. Cannell, I asked to see you because I’m afraid I have some bad news. Dr. Wayment feels your wife will be passing soon. I’ve asked permission for you to come home for a few hours so you can be with her.”

  Mr. Cannell’s eyes narrowed. “You did that? For me? Why?”

  “Because it’s obvious to me how much you love your wife, and one foolish mistake shouldn’t keep you from her when she needs you most.”

  “I . . . I’m obliged.”

  “Don’t think another thing about it. But we’d best get over to your house as quickly as we can.”

  Deputy Hanks took Mr. Cannell by the arm and led him outside to the paddy wagon, and Robert helped Olivia climb into Dr. Wayment’s buggy. Soon they were all pulling up in front of the Cannells’ house, and Mr. Cannell all but ran inside as soon as he was able.

  Olivia stopped Robert from following by placing a hand on his arm. “That was the kindest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do,” she said, hoping for the right words to express how she felt. “He could have killed you. He had a gun pointed right at your chest and he wasn’t afraid to use it, and yet you went out of your way to give him this precious gift. Why did you do that?”