I have asked her to go see the school counselor. I think rape victims need a support group, and if her moods are any indication, then she is not coping at all. Except sex, she always wants it. She is on my dick more than my boxers, and I don’t think that is the best coping mechanism for her. We are having issues about me and using condoms. I refuse to go without, and I don’t care how many times she tells me she is protected. I have only not used protection once, and I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything, but if it meant Teryn wouldn’t have freaked out and left, then I would have never touched her. I would rather have her in my life without sex than not at all. I have resolved myself that she will never be far from my mind, but I just deal with the memories, embrace the pain that comes with them, and resolve that I will never give anyone that kind of power over me again.
The semester is almost over, and I am logging on the computer to check my grades when I realize my browser is already open. The Google tab says, ‘What to Expect with Rape Victims,’ so out of curiosity I glance at the list. Holy shit, Tara is exhibiting all of these, but something is off. It is like she is acting them out, not feeling them. She is going through this checklist in order. I get a sick feeling as I read symptom after symptom, and I realize who was really feeling this, in her mannerisms, the way she carried herself, avoided touch, and couldn’t be alone without night terrors. Her breakdown makes perfect sense to me. Fuck, I ruined her. I did that to her because I had to push her limits. Before I can process why Tara was on this sight, she comes in the room, and I can tell she is in a snit.
“When are we leaving for Tennessee?”
“Didn’t you want to spend Christmas with your parents?” I know she is an only child, and her dad is some important surgeon, and her mom is his trophy wife. Can’t she ever go home?
“They booked a cruise, and I told them I was going home with you.”
“Did you not want to wait for an invitation? I don’t want a repeat of Thanksgiving.”
“If you don’t let your sisters treat me like an STD-inflicted streetwalker we won’t have an issue. They need to learn to respect the boundaries you are going to set involving our relationship.”
“Tara, you met my sisters, right? You think the words like respect and boundaries register anywhere with them? You need to learn to get along with them and get over your attitude, otherwise you can expect worse than Thanksgiving.” Oh good God, not the fucking tears again.
“If you don’t want me just tell me. You don’t open up to me, you don’t want me around your family, you would have rather I just died that night.”
“That is not true, I tell you that every time you ask me that question. I don’t know what else to tell you or do for you.”
“Are you going to leave me alone in June? When you go home? If you do, it will be just like last time.”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead. You are on my ass about being a police officer, you think I should follow in my dad’s footsteps, and I told you that is not happening, nothing I do seems to make you happy.” We had the discussion about my family issues, well the cliff notes version when she became inquisitive about Mitch and my sisters. I gave her the run down about my dad, his career, the lies, but never discussed Teryn and what Brent did to her and Brielle. She didn’t need to know that. Since that night, she has been on my ass. She thinks we will make the perfect political couple, and it turns my stomach. Any normal person who heard what my dad did to us would not expect me to want to be like him.
“Maybe because you haven’t given me any indication that we are going somewhere. You know what I want.” Yes, I do because she has left pictures of her perfect engagement ring, promise ring, and ring size all over my apartment for the past three weeks. I can take a hint.
“We will see, Tara. Right now I am going to bed. I have my last final tomorrow, and if you are coming home with me I need to change my plane ticket so we can fly out together.” And call my sisters to warn them. What a fun conversation that will be so I decide to let them know via text. She makes an excuse about needing to run to the store and get some essentials to take with her; funny she hasn’t once mentioned shopping for my family. She has no issue leaving here at night by herself when it is something she needs or wants.
Chapter 24
Tara
I am slowly reeling him in, and I need to share my news with someone, so I call my old roommate and childhood friend, Laura. She helped set him up and get him to the hospital. Thank God she is pre-med, she knew exactly where to hit me to inflict the most bruising with the least amount of pain. When he got drunk in early October and called me Teryn and apologized over and over for not keeping her protected, for not being what she needed, I knew I would eventually lose him to that girl, whoever she is. But that also taught me how I could guilt him in to staying with me.
Laura picks up on the first ring, “Hey girl. Long time no hear. You still with hunkalicious Parker?”
“Oh yeah. I think I am finally wearing him down, and I may be wearing his ring in just a few short weeks.” She laughs, and I smile in satisfaction.
“Damn shame that man will be off the market, but your plan worked.”
“Like a charm. It has been relatively simple, now just to get past his sisters. I wasn’t planning on that obstacle, but I know what gets Dustin to feel guilty, and that sense of protecting women always wins.”
“Holy shit, Tara. You are an evil bitch. Don’t you want real love?”
“How many times do I need to ask you, does love pay the bills? Does love keep you in designer clothes and nice houses? You know my dad is cutting me off next year, he thinks I need to experience college on my own dime, like he did. He always says some shit about giving me character and not being entitled. Fuck that, Laura. I came here for one degree, and I will be damned if anyone is getting in my way. Besides, you know you are dying to be my maid of honor.”
“Yep, and no ugly dresses. I am thankful I am knee-deep in my own studying, so I don’t have time to feel guilty for my part in this. Are you going to be happy? You know he doesn’t love you.”
“Love is a four letter word, just like cash. We both get what we want, and that is all I need. Besides, if he loved me then that would complicate things; he would be that overbearing protective kind of guy, and that is not what I am after.”
“Good luck, Tara. Keep me updated, and let me know if you need anything.” She disconnects, and I make it to the store. I can’t go back empty-handed, and I do need some magazines to read on the plane.
If only I could get him to do away with the condom, he would be mine without any more games . . . not that I would actually get pregnant, I don’t want kids, but a convenient pregnancy followed by a devastating “miscarriage” after everything else he thinks I have been through. I could probably talk him into joining the political scene and carrying on his daddy’s tarnished reputation with that guilt trip.
Chapter 25
Colby
Dustin’s text to alert us that Tara is coming back at Christmas for some more bonding time is not what this house needed to get into the festivities. Scrooge and his brothers were visiting this family and it wasn’t fair on the kids. I am on edge, not sleeping well; it isn’t that I have a problem with the events I set in motion that led to Brent’s death. I would have done it myself without hesitation. I admit it is the fear I have of getting caught. I would do it again and never second-guess my decision, but I am afraid of getting taken away from my family. I did what I had to do to ensure my wife, daughter, son, and other family members are safe. I did if Teryn, too. No child should experience what she did, and I don’t know the half of it.
“Knock that shit off,” I tell all of the bitching bitties in front of me. “You aren’t changing the fact they will be here in less than an hour, or the fact that you hate her. We all got the memo loud and clear. You know Dustin is stubborn, and for some reason he is falling for this girl’s lines. The more you protest, the more he is going to dig his heels in,” I make
sure I talk directly to my wife, the fucking ring-leader of this circus.
“So what you are telling me is to kill her with kindness.” The smile she gives me scares me.
“I am not talking about killing anyone. I am talking about ignoring the bullshit and focusing on the kids having a good Christmas.”
She looks over at our kids and sighs. I know I have won this round, but when they go down for the night, all bets are off.
Cambree mumbles, “I hope that bitch doesn’t expect a present, because I didn’t get my supply of cyanide in the mail.”
“You do remember you are married to a cop?” Max asks her, semi-shocked. I don’t know why shit fazes him anymore; when one of them speaks, you never know what you are going to get.
Addison says, “I should bake her some cookies.” They all start laughing. “They would surely kill her and be untraceable.”
“Again, except you just admitted you are plotting murder, in front of a COP!”
“We get it, Officer. I think I could change your mind about taking me in; I may even resist arrest, and you can cuff me,” Cambree purrs at him.
“Shut it, C. That is still gross.” Brielle cannot get over her sister and sex talk. I personally don’t like it, but she is married. Those two don’t ever stop with the constant dirty talk, and I think half of it is just to get a rise out of Brielle.
“Oh, Camy, I am hosting a pleasure party next weekend, you coming?”
“No,” Max answers for her. We all start laughing. “She doesn’t need accessories when she has the real thing.”
“What about all those late nights you work, babe?” He grabs her hand and hauls her out of the house with Tyler chanting, “Bow-chick-a-bow-wow,” and Brielle looking for something to throw at him. Not exactly the Christmas spirit I was hoping for, but at least the tree is getting decorated.
Dustin and the she-devil walk through the door. He looks happy, and she looks bored. Not to match the death glare Brielle is throwing her, she turns to Dustin, “Can’t we just go to your place and put our stuff away? I don’t know why this had to be our first stop.”
“Probably because you were a passenger in my car, and this is where I wanted to come. You can go right out that back door and make your way to his house to drop your bags off,” Kayleigh snaps at her. For Kayleigh to be snippy, Tara must have pushed her far.
“Your husband isn’t going to take our bags? He is a public servant, after all.” Oh wrong thing to say, and I am not worried about Brielle now, I am worried about Kayleigh killing her.
“Enough, Tara. We talked about this, and this is not the way to start this vacation.” Dustin is firm with her. The tears start, and she runs out of the house. How does he deal with this? He sighs and takes off after her.
“Well, that went better than expected, I am not getting the bleach to clean blood off the floor. Damn, Kayleigh, what got into you?” Brielle laughs, and looks proud.
“That bitch is whacked!” She is red-faced and pissed off. Mitch is looking at her not sure if he wants to remove her or praise her.
“I think this is a wine occasion,” Addison chants. Like there has to be an occasion for them to drink wine.
Dustin doesn’t come back over, but lets us know that Tara is going to rest tomorrow, the plane ride didn’t sit well with her. We make plans to go on the quads. I am hoping I can get in his head.
Lying down that night, Brielle looks at me. “What has been going on with you, Colby?’ You are on edge.” I want to tell her, no secrets, but I don’t want her to look at me differently.
“It’s nothing.”
“Bullshit, Colby. Talk to me. Is it me? Are you not happy?”
“Oh, pretty girl, don’t ever think that. I don’t want to see you look at me differently when I tell you.”
“I never could. I love you.”
I decide that I need to tell her. I need her to know so we have no secrets between us, and I need to get this off my chest. “When Mitch got a call about Teryn from his old captain, he came to Tyler and I. Max, too. Her counselor had called inquiring about some tapes. I don’t know what was on them, but it would constitute child pornography, so I can only imagine.” I pause and hold her as she starts crying. “They were trying to think of a way to get him to confess and stay in jail without using those tapes, without putting Teryn through that. If the feds got the tapes he would be up shit creek, but then Teryn’s whole world would implode, and she is working so hard. I asked Mitch to get me a name. I traded one evil for another. I went to one of the scum on the tape, told him Brent had contacted me about selling it on the black market and was going to release his name to the feds and set him up. I knew what I was setting in motion. I told him if he handled the problem, never looked at Teryn, never contacted her and never mentioned what he saw or did, then I would let him go. That night, Brent was murdered. The tapes were couriered to Teryn under security for her to destroy.”
She doesn’t say anything for a few moments. Then she shocks me, “Colby James, I love you. I am the luckiest girl that you fell in love with me. The lengths you will go to protect your family are astonishing, and I can’t say I am sorry he is dead, but I don’t want you to live with that guilt.”
“It isn’t guilt, Belle. I am worried about that guy getting caught and in turn giving me up.”
“Not going to happen. We will deal with it when it does, but I will move heaven and earth to protect you and our family. Never doubt that.”
“I don’t, pretty girl. Never have and never will.” I lean down and take my wife’s lips and worship her body like it is our first time all over again.
I meet Dustin, Tyler, and Mitch on the track to ride quads. Max stayed back with Cambree. She was sick this morning. Or that is the excuse they are using. We ride in peace for a bit, and when we take a break Mitch starts in. He hasn’t learned to finesse these siblings. Rookie mistake.
“What is up with that girl, Dustin? She is seriously demented.”
Dustin just stares at him without saying a word. I can’t tell if he wants to agree or defend her. “Whatever, lay off Mitch.” I am guessing he doesn’t want to defend her, he just feels obligated.
Tyler takes his turn, “D, I watched you grow up, I never thought I would see you dealing with this drama on a daily basis. You hate it, so I know you aren’t happy. What gives?”
“She had a trauma a few months ago, and I was to blame. We are just dealing.”
I can’t be quiet. He tries to act tough, but he is like Brielle and will carry the weight of the world on his shoulders and guilt himself into an ulcer. It stems from Teryn, I am sure. “D, you aren’t to blame. I don’t know what happened, but unless you did something directly to her, don’t carry that around. How exactly are you dealing?”
“She wants a ring.” I think I about choked on my tongue.
“Hell no, Dustin. As your big brother I forbid it.” Fuck, Mitch! Wrong thing to say.
“You realize you can’t forbid me from shit, right?” He storms off. Mitch just set this whole plan in motion. I shake my head at him and leave Tyler to school him and make sure all ammunition and sharp objects are hidden because if he goes through with it, things will get ugly.
Chapter 26
Teryn
I won’t make it to Tennessee for Christmas. Snow has caused massive delays and that both disappoints and relieves me. I am a contradiction of nerves. I discussed my feelings with Julia, and she told me it might be better I am delayed. I am not used to celebrating holidays, and it may overwhelm me with everything else I will be dealing with, and I don’t disagree with her, but I am ready to get home. Home. Who knew those two four letter words would change my outlook . . . home and love. They both mean Dustin Logan Parker to me.
Too bad the snow didn’t stop the tabloids from reaching me. Julia called me in her office, and after reminding me of my techniques, handed me the magazine that changed my life in one moment.
“Dustin Parker, the prodigal son of Franklin Parker, engage
d to Tara Montgomery”
Skimming the article I see Mitch is ousted as the oldest son, and I know this isn’t at the hands of Dustin or his siblings. But, there she is, standing outside of Addison’s house, smiling and showing off a hideous ring. That is catty of me, and it really is a beautiful ring, just too gaudy for me. That would never be me, now. I lost him the day I left him, and I was fooling myself into believing he would welcome me back with open arms. I don’t know why I thought he would wait for me, what reason did I ever give him? I will never regret what we had, and I know that for a fact. He brought me back to life, gave me a reason to keep living. It hurts, but I decide that is what I will do to honor him. Live each day, even with the pain I will endure.
One thing I notice absent in the picture, besides Dustin’s smile, are his siblings. Not one of them surround him, they are nowhere. Julia interrupts my thoughts, “How are you doing, Teryn?”
“Why is it every conversation we have starts that way?” I laugh, and she smiles in relief. I see the pride shining in her eyes. She confirms to me with that look that I will be okay; I will survive.
“I don’t know, but I do think we can change it. You did it.” I nod at her.
“It hurts, but I can’t blame him.”
“Don’t deny your feelings, don’t go to that place. Why can’t you blame him? He told you he loved you.”
“He did, but I left.”
“No, you didn’t leave, you got the help you desperately needed. Now look at you.”
“Yes, look at me. I am alone. I can’t go back there. I can’t see him start a life with someone else. He promised me; he said he would wait forever, that one day I would tell him I loved him. And you know what? If he would have waited one more damn week I would have.” Now I am angry. I may have left, but essentially he didn’t give me a chance to come back to him, and now I never can.
Parker Sibling Series Box Set Page 65
