Sugar Daddy

by Haden, Ross;

  As they talked, Busi found she was holding her belly. There was a baby in there, growing. Ten fingers and ten toes. She was suddenly filled with such strong, tender emotions, it frightened her. It would be a very difficult decision.

  Chapter 17

  It was after ten that night when he tapped on her window. “Parks, what are you doing here?” she whispered sleepily.

  “We must talk,” he said. “Come, come with me.” Quickly she pulled her tracksuit on over her pyjamas and crept out past her sleeping granny into the cold night. He was standing hunched up, smoking a cigarette. “Quick, baby – get in my taxi.” It was warm inside the taxi. He gave her a quick hug, but he was distracted and on edge.

  “Parks, you said you’d see me later. But you never said when. I thought …”

  “And here I am. Would I forget about you? Never.” He started the engine and drove left, then right and right again. They were heading away from the township towards the freeway. She recognised his route – they had taken it many times.

  “I can’t believe I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

  “I know, baby, I know. Don’t worry, I’m here.” He took her hand and squeezed it. And suddenly she felt safe. It was going to be all right. In that moment she wanted the baby so badly. It would be hers and Parks’s.

  “What are we going to do?” she asked, staring out of the window into the dark. Lights flashed past.

  “I’ll take care of you, baby, don’t worry. I promise.”

  “Will we get married? If my granny meets you and you tell her you want to marry me, she may feel better. She feels responsible, you know, like she’s let my mother down …”

  He laughed. “You’re too young to be married.”

  “But I’m not too young to be a mother …”

  “You are too young …”

  “But …”

  “I told you not to worry – I’ll take care of it …”

  They drove to Muizenberg, where he had to meet someone to talk about a business venture. While they waited in a pub outside the station, he downed a beer and she ordered a plate of hot chips and a Coke. The man he had arranged to meet arrived with a cigarette in a cigarette holder and a rasping voice. “Cash up front … cash up front …,” was all that Busi heard.

  Eventually the man left. Parks turned to her and smiled, “Are you still hungry?” She shook her head. “We should have used condoms,” he sighed.

  “It’s too late now,” Busi said. How could he be so casual? Now he was saying they should have used condoms. What about then, when it had been “Don’t worry – I know what I’m doing”. She felt her heart clench tightly inside her.

  “Never mind – I’ll take care of you,” he said crushing out his cigarette in his polystyrene coffee cup. It made a hissing sound. It was late and the manager approached them, saying he wanted to close the place.

  He would take care of her. It would be all right. At least they would be together.

  Parks held her hand as they drove back along the sea. “I love you, baby – please trust me. I want you to be happy and successful.” His voice was a little slurred and she realised that he had drunk too much while they were waiting in the café. “I’m taking you to the doctor in the morning,” he said.

  “I’ve been to the clinic already,” Busi told him. “My granny took me. You weren’t there. I tried to call when the test said I was pregnant. They took an HIV test too.”

  “And?”

  “It was negative.”

  “You see? I told you I was fine,” said Parks.

  “They told me I have to have another test after three months. They said sometimes the HIV doesn’t show so early, Parks. They said I must go back to talk about what to do with the baby.”

  “You don’t need to see a counsellor, baby. Parks knows best. I’ll give you the best advice.”

  Maybe he was right? He was the father after all. It wasn’t just her baby, she thought.

  The wind came up and blew white sea sand over the road, so the tar wasn’t visible any more. Fine sand stung at the windows. He changed gear, but still the car swerved across the road. Busi was scared.

  She was grateful to finally reach her house. “Can I come in?” he asked. He must be crazy, she thought, or drunk.

  “Shh!” Busi whispered. “No, no, you can’t. You’ll wake my granny.”

  “I thought she wanted to meet me.”

  “Not now! Now go, go!”

  She lay still on her bed and listened to his car pulling off into the night, tyres screeching.

  Chapter 18

  Parks’s call woke her up in the morning. “Don’t you sleep?” she wanted to know.

  “Meet me at the bus stop after nine. We need to talk.” He spoke above the impatient noises in the taxi.

  When Busi got up, her grandmother was already busy in the kitchen. “I’m going to see Mr Khumalo,” the old lady said. “Maybe it would be better if I saw him on my own first. So you stay here until I return. Do you hear me, Busi?”

  “Gogo, please don’t tell him about Parks. Mr Khumalo will be angry with him. He might report him to the police.”

  “He should report this Parks. He is a danger to schoolgirls. But for now I will only tell him that you are pregnant. He needs to know why you have been missing so much school.”

  Busi didn’t like the idea of her grandmother talking to Mr Khumalo. But she also felt relieved: now that her granny was going out she had the gap she was looking for. Great! She helped her granny clear the kitchen. “Go on, Gogo, I’ll finish up here,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”

  Parks wasn’t at the bus stop at nine – it was more like half past. “We’re late!” he said as she climbed into the taxi, its engine still roaring. The gaadjie grinned at her as they swerved in and out of the traffic. He laughed out loud as she fell against Parks when he mounted a pavement, annoying the other frustrated road-users. “We’ve got to be in Mitchells Plain by ten,” Parks said when he saw the look on her face. “We’ve got to move it!”

  She thought that he wanted to see her again to talk about the baby. To work out how they would tell her granny that he was the father. But here he was saying they were going to Mitchells Plain – and with the gaadjie in the back. Busi couldn’t hold her tongue any more. She wanted to be sick and her head pounded.

  “Slow down, Parks. You’re going too fast. I’m feeling ill. Where are we going?”

  “I told you – Mitchells Plain. I’m taking you to a doctor who will take care of you.”

  “But I’ve already seen a sister at the clinic … You know that. I don’t understand.”

  “Shh! You talk too much,” Parks snapped.

  * * *

  They stopped in a parking lot outside a brick building. Medical Centre, it said on the sign. There were a lot of people going in and out. “Take this,” said Parks, pressing a wad of notes into her hands. “I’ll fetch you later. Just SMS me when you’re done. Then we can go and eat somewhere nice.”

  “Done with what? Parks, I don’t understand.”

  “Dr Bester is on the third floor. He’s expecting you. Go now, you can’t be late.”

  Busi got out and closed the passenger door. “Aren’t you coming with me?” she asked. “Who is this Dr Bester?” But Parks was already speeding away.

  * * *

  Busi stood in the parking lot outside the Medical Centre and watched Parks drive off in his taxi without a backward glance. She was all alone. She felt like dying, there and then. It seemed the only way she could escape the terrible things that were happening to her.

  “Are you lost?” a man asked her.

  “I’m looking for Dr Bester,” she said. She didn’t like the way the man was looking at her.

  “In there,” he said, pointing to the building. “Come with me – I’ll show you.”
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  She could have turned and run, but she followed him inside and into the doctor’s waiting room.

  No one smiled. Not the receptionist, not one of the other patients sitting sullenly in the posh armchairs lining the wall. They shuffled up to make room for her and then went back to the glossy magazines they were reading. Others just stared at the wall. The receptionist had been expecting her. She ticked Busi’s name on the list and gave her a form to fill in.

  “Have you had counselling?”

  “Counselling?”

  “For the termination,” the receptionist went on. She looked at Busi like she was stupid and slow.

  “I’m going for counselling later,” Busi said. “At the clinic.” But the woman didn’t hear her clearly. She just pointed to where Busi needed to fill in her details on the form.

  “Okay,” she said. “Just write that down.” She pointed with her pen.

  “What is this?” asked Busi, looking at the form.

  “You have to fill it in for the termination,” the receptionist said coolly, as if she was talking about the weather. “Abortion,” she said. “Do you understand why you’re here?”

  “Abor–?” Is this what Parks wanted?

  Busi sat down amongst the other patients and stared at the form on the clipboard in front of her. “I’ll take care of it,” he said. And now she realised what he meant. He made the decision without her. She wanted to get up and run, but she couldn’t.

  Then the door of the doctor’s room opened and his assistant came out and called Busi by her full name. “Are you alone?” she asked, as Busi walked down the corridor towards her.

  “My boyfriend dropped me here,” said Busi.

  “You’re very young,” the woman said. “It must be a difficult time for you.” Busi nodded. “Please take your clothes off in the bathroom and put this gown on,” she continued, handing her a blue cotton gown. “Then come back to Dr Bester’s room. He’ll be with you in a few minutes.”

  Busi did as she was told, then sat on an uncomfortable plastic chair and waited for the doctor. She couldn’t help but notice the hospital bed in the corner, with its paper sheet and stainless-steel instruments in a dish next to it. When Dr Bester came in he didn’t greet her, or ask how she was, or even ask her name. And when he saw that she was still wearing her panties under the gown he reminded her that she needed to take everything off.

  When she returned from the bathroom, naked except for the cotton gown, she couldn’t bring herself to look at the strange steel instruments. They seemed so cold and frightening. The doctor turned his back for a moment to wash his hands and put his latex gloves on. Suddenly Busi knew that she had to escape. Without a word she rushed out of the door and back to the bathroom, where she pulled on her clothes. Then she ran – down the corridor and past Dr Bester’s room, through Reception, into the lift and out onto the street. It was only then that she realised she was still clutching the blue cotton gown. She stuffed it into a bin at the hospital entrance.

  She dialled Parks’s number, but then switched the phone off before he could answer. She had nothing to say to him. She had nothing but a terrible pain in her heart. But she knew one thing for certain. She would decide whether she had this baby or not – not Parks, not her granny, not her parents or her friends. It was her decision. It was her body.

  Chapter 19

  Busi didn’t know how she’d got home. It was a blur. She just knew that she’d run away from the doctor’s surgery where Parks had abandoned her and nobody knew her, to somewhere safe where people cared about her. She had found her way home like those homing pigeons. However far away you let them go, they would always find their way back home to safety.

  The next day she returned to the clinic. Sitting in the sister’s room she felt pain for what Parks had done, but she also felt stronger. It felt good keeping her word and coming back to see the sister. It made her feel in control again.

  The sister was smiling at her. And when she reached across the desk and took her hand, all Busi’s held-in tears came pouring out. The sister handed her a tissue. “There, you let it all out,” she said. And when Busi had stopped crying and had taken a deep breath, the sister said, “Have you thought about it, Busi?”

  “Yes,” she answered. “But I haven’t decided yet. It’s so hard.”

  “You know, termination isn’t the only option. You could also have the baby adopted.”

  Busi had thought about it all night. She had thought about school, about her baby not having a dad. She had thought about what her family would say, and her friends, and how she would feel if she had a termination. She had thought about being stuck at home with a baby while her friends went out. She had thought so much it had felt like her brain was bursting. And she had felt so many different emotions it was like her heart was splitting open.

  “Well, whatever you decide, we must take good care of you,” said the sister, kindly. She gave her vitamins to take, then added, “The earlier you decide, the better. Come back in a few days when you’ve had some more time to think. But remember, the later you leave it the more difficult it will be to get a termination.”

  “Thank you,” Busi said as she left. She was still in a daze. She just wanted to be alone. But when she got home her granny couldn’t wait to tell her the news.

  “Your mother wants to raise the baby.”

  “My mother, Gogo?”

  “Yes! She wants to come down in December when you will be giving birth and she wants to take him with her, back to Johannesburg.”

  “Him?”

  “She’s sure it’s a boy,” said her granny. Busi was stunned. Her mother hadn’t raised her. Why should she want this baby?” She was angry. Her granny didn’t even know if she had decided to have the baby, and she was making decisions for her. “Gogo, what about what I want?” But it was like her granny hadn’t heard her.

  “It’s a good idea, Busi,” she was saying. “Where will we find money to support a little baby? Babies are expensive! You have to buy nappies, you need money when they get sick – and they get sick. And we’re not giving your baby to a stranger.”

  “Who says I am having the baby?” Busi shouted, and she ran through to her bed. She lay there, her hands over her stomach. Her mother wanted to take this baby away. She hadn’t even spoken to her about it. Did she mean so little to them? And Parks, he had just wanted to get rid of it. They had no right.

  “Busi?”

  “I need to be alone,” Busi shouted. It felt good, this small thing of saying what she needed.

  But they wouldn’t leave her alone. No sooner had she laid down on her bed than her phone rang. It was Parks. Perhaps he had phoned to say he was sorry for not coming with her to the doctor. Perhaps he had changed his mind. And she felt so alone. So she answered it. But all he said was, “So did you do it? Is it finished? I’ve been trying to call you.”

  “How could you leave me there alone?” She drew on all the courage she had.

  “Did you want me to stay with you? I had things to do …”

  And then, when she was silent, his tone changed. “Baby, I need you. It doesn’t matter … I just need to talk. We’ll get through this. I’ll call you later. I need to see you.”

  She switched the phone off. “We’ll get through this,” he had said. She was so confused and tired, she just needed to sleep. Tomorrow was another day. Tomorrow she would decide what to do.

  * * *

  In the dark another call came. Not from her friends, not from Parks. An unknown number shone on the screen. And when she said hello, a woman greeted her. Her voice sounded cold and far away. It wasn’t her mother, whom she had hoped would call her. This was a stranger.

  “Who is this?” Busi asked. “You must have the wrong number.”

  “Is this Busi?” the woman asked.

  “Yes,” Busi said, uncertainly.

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nbsp; “Then I have the right number. What I want to know is what you want from my husband?”

  “There must be some mistake,” said Busi. There was silence. Busi’s heart started pounding.

  “No mistake,” the woman said. “I am married to Parks. Do you understand? I am his wife.”

  Busi’s mouth went dry.

  “That’s right,” the woman went on, when Busi didn’t speak. “You have seen me. I was the woman in the black car at the Formula One. I watched you and my husband go in and come out. I know everything. My husband told me … You see, he’s not good at hiding things.”

  The woman in the black car – it was the woman she had seen in her dreams.

  “You’re not the only girl Parks has had,” the woman said. Busi felt a pain in her stomach like someone had stabbed her with a knife. “But you’re the first to get pregnant. And we can’t have that. Uyayazi? I won’t have Parks’s bastard child running around. I won’t have it, do you hear? So do as Parks says – get rid of it. And leave him alone. Do you understand?”

  But before she could reply the phone went dead.

  He was married. And he hadn’t told her.

  Chapter 20

  Busi had strange, disturbing dreams that night. She dreamed that she was standing at the school gate and Parks and his wife were sitting outside in that big black car. She couldn’t move. She just watched as they held up a baby. It was hers and she heard it crying, but she couldn’t move. She couldn’t reach it. And then they were driving off.

  She woke up crying. It was light outside and her phone was ringing. She saw Parks’s name on the screen. She would tell him to get out of her life, to leave her alone. It would be the last time she spoke to him. But when he answered so softly, so concerned, she wasn’t so sure any more. And she wanted an explanation. She wanted to know why?

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were married, Parks?”

  “Me, married? Who told you that, baby?” So he didn’t know that his wife had called her in the middle of the night. And now he was lying to her again, pretending that everything was fine.