Mr. X

by Clarissa Wild

  “How much do you want it?”

  The warmth of his tip pushing against my pussy sends me over the edge. “I want it badly,” I whimper. I’ve betrayed my own morals. I’m not okay with it, but it’s inescapable. He has me, my body, my freedom, but he will never have my heart. This is only lust.

  He lets out a short laugh. “Good girl, finally admitting to your desires. I’ll reward you for it. I’m going to fuck your brains out.” He smacks my ass again. “You’ve been so fucking naughty, fucking all these clients of yours during your time at the club. I’m not going to take any chances with you. Protection will have to do for now, but you will visit a doctor soon and you will be tested. And then the real fucking will begin.” A groan-like laugh escapes his mouth. “But first I’ll fill up this greedy pussy of mine.”

  When he pushes his cock inside I moan loudly. His cock is thick and throbbing as he enters me, pushing further, painfully slow. I can feel the ridges of his piercings rub my inner walls, a sensation so delicious I moan. He’s inside me completely, and I love the feeling it gives me. So full. So satiated. Just what I needed right now, but totally did not want. At least, not like this. That’s what I’m telling myself.

  He is slow and steady, just like he promised. Each time he thrusts the piercings add an extra layer of sensitivity, which sends me into delirium. I want to beg him to ride me faster, to pump me with all he’s got, and to shoot his load quickly, but I know it’ll only pleasure him if I start begging. He told me from the beginning he’d take it slow. He said he’d make me beg; he was right. This is so agonizingly slow, like he’s savoring the moment. Like he wants me to be on the verge of exploding. My orgasm is under his control, and he’s loving it.

  Suddenly, he grabs my hands and pulls them back. His thrusting becomes harder as he uses my arms as reins. I’m already on the edge when he drives in deep and hard. A loud moan escapes my mouth as his cock pulsates against my walls. And then he retracts again, slowly, all the way to the tip before slamming into me once more. He repeats this over and over again, pushing me toward bliss.

  “Don’t you fucking come until I say you can,” he growls, slamming his cock back inside. “This pussy is mine and it’ll come when I say so.”

  “Please …” I say, moaning as he drives into me.

  He lets go of my hands again, dropping them to the floor. Instead, he grabs my ass, using it as a handle while he fucks me senseless. A quick but harsh whack and I’m off. I can’t stop. The wave comes and comes and shatters me completely. I can’t hold it back; it’s that powerful. My legs shake as I fall apart from his thrusting.

  All of a sudden, he pulls out of me and slaps my ass so hard my legs collapse underneath me.

  “I told you not to come.”

  “I’m sorry, sir,” I say.

  He grabs my hair and jerks back my head. “You’ll pay for that. You need to be disciplined.”

  “Please, no,” I whimper.

  Suddenly, a slap to my pussy rips me from my still lingering orgasm.

  “Whose pussy is this?” he growls.

  “Yours, sir.”

  “Then it’d better do what I say or this will be a hard lesson to learn.”

  My eyes widen. Shit. This is bad. Why couldn’t I stop it? Goddammit, I’ve never had this before.

  I hear him take off the condom. He steps in front of my face, grabs my hair again, and says, “Open your mouth wide.”

  The more my lips part, the closer he comes. His cock is right in my face, pushing against my lips, greedy to get in. I’m hesitant, but I know that if I refuse, I’ll only be worse off. So I let him enter my mouth.

  However, he’s not slow this time. He shoves his cock inside, making me gag instantly.

  “Take it,” he says gruffly. “Suck my cock like the little whore you are.”

  He pulls it back again, giving me only one second to breathe before plunging back in. He forces himself inside, over and over again. His piercings feel like cold, hard steel as they bump against the back of my throat. Sometimes X holds his position deep inside my throat, causing me to choke. Just before I sputter, he pulls back out. He slaps his cock against my face and jams it back into my mouth.

  “Bad girls don’t get cock in their pussy. Bad girls get face-fucked,” he growls.

  My eyes fill with tears as he grabs a hold of my head and thrusts his cock into my mouth again. Red lipstick smudges create rings around his cock. His pre-cum seeps into my mouth, the saltiness arousing me against my will.

  “Lick it,” he demands.

  I swirl my tongue as much as I can, even though his cock prevents me from moving. I’ve had them deep before, but not by someone like him. This feels like he’s enjoying the fact that he’s using me for his own pleasure. That’s why I don’t understand why my pussy is still throbbing.

  “I’m going to fill up that filthy mouth of yours with my cum.”

  His dirty words cause a strange mixture of emotions in me. This heavy fucking is so intense, so surreal, it pulls me away from reality. The smell of pants as my face is jammed against it while he pumps his cock into my mouth, his dark eye looking down at my face, the zinging skin on my red ass, the salty pre-cum dripping down my throat as he fucks my mouth; it’s all-consuming.

  He holds my head in place as he fucks my mouth, pushing me to the limit. My breaking point is near, but he doesn’t stop. He pushes and shoves and takes me like no other. He takes from me what he desires with no holds barred. I am at his complete mercy. His cock pulsates on my tongue as he forces me all the way down to the base.

  “Fuck!” he growls, and then the throbbing begins. He groans as he thrusts into my mouth once more, shooting his load. I can feel the cum spurt out of his cock and land in the back of my throat. With his hands on the back of my head, I can’t move back, but I can’t breathe either.

  “Hold it. Hold it,” he says, filling me up with his cum. “Swallow.”

  I do my best, but with his cock in my mouth it’s hard. Eventually, I manage to take it all down. After letting out a big breath, he pulls his cock from my mouth. I gasp for air. X slaps me with his cock and wipes the excess cum on my cheeks.

  “Eat it all, little bird.” He only lets me catch my breath for a second or two before shoving his cock back inside my mouth.

  “Clean it.”

  I lick his cock until he is satisfied. I feel used, and at the same time a flame ignited inside my core the moment I felt his orgasm. It’s as if I did my job, like it’s exactly what was supposed to happen. When he says, “Good girl,” I know for sure.

  X steps back and looks down upon me. His hand reaches for my face. I fight the instinct to lean away, because I know that’s not in my best interest. His finger nudges me underneath my chin, directing me to stand up. “Come with me.”

  And then he does something that astonishes me. His fingers trail down my arm and reach for my hand. With his smoldering eyes focused on me he latches onto me, entwining his fingers through mine. This moment is intimate in a way I haven’t experienced in a long while. It takes my breath away as he leans in and presses a kiss on my neck. His lips drag up to my ear, and then he whispers, “You are my possession, my fixation, my enslavement. You’re bound to me forever.”

  “Pain and suffering grants us unimaginable power.” – Notes of X

  Chapter 15

  X

  Tuesday, August 20th, 2013. 09:18 a.m.

  The razorblade is blunt, but it’ll have to do. I’ve ordered a new one from the assistant I have here in the hotel, but she’s rather slow in getting her shopping list done. While shaving, I contemplate whether I’m going to give her another chance or kill her and get a new one. Of course she can’t quit; that would mean she could talk. Nobody talks about me. I do not exist. Therefore, they do not exist either.

  When I’m done I rinse the razorblade and put it down. Noise in the bedroom alerts me. I step aside and look. Jay is still tied to the bed, and when she sees me looking, she raises a cocky eyebrow. I used a
rope this time, but it seems to do the trick. She hasn’t tried to escape in a while, but I keep expecting it to happen. Having her tied up relaxes me, because I know she can’t escape and be killed. For some reason that thought angers me. I wanted her dead myself more than anything, but now that I have her, I don’t want anyone else to kill her. That right is mine alone.

  Except, I don’t just want that anymore either. I want her completely. Her body. Her soul. Her mind. I want to do with it as I wish. To do the things I never could when …

  I sigh. It was such a long time ago. I don’t even remember what it was like to claim her without having to chain her up. Of course, I’ve always been into the kinky stuff. She used to be into it too. If I try hard enough, she might remember and learn to appreciate it.

  But the way she’s looking at me now, with annoyance and boredom, it makes me feel abominable. I am not just that monster. I’m also a man who knows someone like her needs pleasure and fun in order to feel appreciated. And when she feels appreciated, she might be more inclined to submit to me, which is all that I desire. I want to see her offer her heart to me, willingly, and for that to happen, she must crave all of me, even the blackest pits of my soul.

  I smile and shake my head, stepping back to the faucet to wash my face. Soul. What a load of nonsense. As if I even have one.

  All I crave is her. All I want is her, completely. I know she’s only giving it to me because her life’s on the line, but I want it to be more than that. I will make it so that she’ll only ever want me, even when she can choose not to. That even if I were to free her, she’d still come back to me, no matter what. Utter devotion.

  As I lift my head the mirror is my sudden opponent. I watch the beads of water roll down my face, across the hideous mark that covers the place my real eye used to be. I’m taken aback by the confrontation. The mirror shows me the broken man I do not wish to see. The man who lost it all because of the girl in the adjacent room.

  That day was detrimental. A decision that never should’ve been made. Forbidden fruits that shouldn’t have been plucked. That day I was forced to become the monster I am today.

  ***

  Monday, January 23rd, 2009

  For a month I have listened to the beeping of the machine keeping me alive. The constant sound is a painful reminder that I’m still here in this world. That everything they’ve done to me was real. That I’m really in a hospital, lying in a stone-cold bed, watching the world pass me by. I’m constantly in pain. My face burns and itches, but I can’t scratch. A bandage covers everything. I’ll never get used to this.

  I’d prefer death over this place, because if there’s a hell on earth, it’s right here.

  Saturday, March 28th, 2009

  The doctors tell me it could take years to recover, but I don’t allow myself that much time. Even with only one eye I will make it work, somehow. I will recover quickly and reclaim what’s been taken from me: my dignity.

  Today is the day they take off my bandage. The careful unwrapping makes me furious, because I’d much rather rip it off and be done with it. I want to see what’s happened. I want to see what those fuckers did to my face. When he’s finally done, I pick up the mirror on my cabinet and hold it in front of me. Terror flows through me, an inferno of rage setting my veins on fire. My eye is gone, my face destroyed. What’s left is a vicious remnant of their attack. Loose skin and horrid scars running all the way up to my skull. My hair is split in half as it no longer grows on the burned skin. All that’s left is ruin and misery.

  I’ve become a monster.

  I was burned to ashes, along with my soul, but I will rise and make them pay.

  Friday, June 19th, 2009

  It’ll take some time to get used to the fake eye they just installed. I keep looking at it in the mirror. Somehow it looks like I’m staring at a completely different person. Not just physically, but mentally too. I’ve changed. Not for the better.

  I got into contact with an old partner of mine, who I know through my family: Antonio. He told me he could introduce me to the organization he works for. I’ll be an assassin for hire with them. I’ve already said I’ll do it. I want them to train me, teach me how to kill an assassin just like me. They’ll train me for years to come and I’ll earn some good money working for them. But I won’t stop until I’m the fastest, most skillful killer alive. And then I’ll murder them all.

  ***

  Tuesday, August 20th, 2013. 09:25 a.m.

  I smash the mirror to bits.

  Over and over again until there is nothing left and blood seeps from my pores. I don’t feel any pain, just anger. I am wasting valuable time here. After I interrogated Al, I thought about killing the one who’s behind all this. However, I decided not to. Instead, I want to make his life miserable. And I just happen to have the perfect idea …

  “What’s happening in there?” Jay yells.

  I grab the trashcan and shove the pieces of the mirror inside. Then I walk out the door and show her my bloody hands. Her eyes widen.

  “See this? It’s because you took the tape off the mirror,” I say.

  She makes a face, riddled with guilt. Good. Guilt is the first step toward pleasing someone, and I want to be pleased badly.

  “It’s quite despicable to make a man see his own scars.”

  “It’s also quite despicable for you to keep me tied up.”

  I smile. “Touché.”

  “Even though you said I would gain more freedom if I did what you asked.”

  I walk back into the bathroom and rinse my hands under the water. I think about it for a second. If I give her a reason to be more grateful and content, she might be easier to handle, which is a plus considering what I’m going to do when I have my plan ready.

  I step out of the bathroom and stand in front of the bed. “All right. If you will behave I will take you to lunch.”

  She tempts me with those daring eyes of hers. Crawling onto the bed, I move on top of her. Her breath falters as my lips touch her belly. My tongue darts out to trace a line all the way up to her chest. Her chest rises but doesn’t fall as I reach her tits. She’s wearing nothing but panties, and although I would love to ravage her right now, a promise is a promise. Besides, I’m getting quite hungry myself.

  I raise my head to her eyelevel and lean in, licking my lip. Her eyes follow my tongue desperately. I wait, tentatively moving closer and closer, until my lips are on top of hers. My kiss is greedy, because I need to taste her. Her mouth is open, ready to receive me. Not long ago she refused to give me what was mine, but now … now she is ready. She lets my tongue in as I probe her mouth with eagerness. I lick the roof of her mouth and kiss her harder, my cock growing equally as hard.

  A growling stomach interrupts us. I take my lips off hers and look into her eyes, which fill with confusion. Her desires are showing, and she hates it. A cocky smile forms on my face. I love to see it all. But then another growl follows. I’m not sure which of us it was, but it’s definitely time to grab something to eat.

  Oh well, I’ll fill up her pussy some other time.

  ***

  Jay

  Tuesday, August 20th, 2013. 10:14 a.m.

  I stuff the food in my mouth like a ravenous pig. I’m so freaking hungry and this sandwich isn’t enough to quell the need for food. Maybe it’s the side-effects from withdrawal, but I don’t care. Anything to get my mind off the drugs is good to me.

  X smirks as he watches me eat, whilst he’s still cutting up his sandwich as if that’s the most normal thing in the world. Who the fuck cuts up a sandwich into bite-sized pieces anyway?

  Not that I care. I’m already glad I have some food in my mouth and that I’m finally out of that hotel room. I was dying for some fresh air. When I first saw the sun and blue sky again I felt the urge to run and never look back, but I knew X would shoot me in an instant. He doesn’t feel for me yet, and I know he’d do anything to keep me exactly where he wants me to be, which is close to him.

  I ca
n tell from the gun he carries around everywhere he goes. It’s a silent threat, even under the table. He’d pull the trigger anytime I even tried to make a move. Screaming wouldn’t be of use either; X would kill them all. I don’t want that on my conscience.

  Oh well, guess I should be happy I even got out of the hotel. It’s a good first step.

  I’m in the midst of eating my sandwich when a man walks into the diner. His wild hair and scruffy beard immediately draw my attention. He throws a blunt into an ashtray on a table and walks to the cashier to make an order. He stinks of marijuana and alcohol, so I hold my breath. When he’s made his order, he turns around and waits. His eyes fall on me. I stop eating. The sandwich drops onto my plate. The man just looks at me, but my legs are shaking, my eyes widen, and my heart thumps erratically.

  “What’s wrong?” X says.

  My nose twitches and my lip trembles. Tears fill my eyes. X’s brows lower as he follows my eyes and looks at the man that fills my head with screams.

  So many screams. Nobody could hear.

  I try to push it out, but it’s no use; the memories come flooding back in. This man and his drugs; he was the one who got me to use them. The one who got me addicted. He kept taking my money, kept stuffing my hands with drugs, kept needing more, kept wanting more. Until I had nothing left to give except my body. I needed the drugs so badly … but I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my body. Not at that time. It was long ago, before I joined the club … when I was still in my teen years, wandering the streets. I don’t remember a lot about my life prior to the streets and the hustling. However, I do remember this guy who picked me up when I was low. This guy … the man who abused me and used me for his own pleasure in exchange for drugs.