Baghdad Diaries

by al-Radi, Nuha;

  We laughed a lot but he’s very depressed. Until now, he has not had a nice home, the Karrada house is being repaired but there’s no water and he makes do with one bucket a day. I took him to my studio to show him my latest madness. I will call this exhibition ‘Embargo Art’. All the sculptures, whole families of people made of stone and car parts – busted exhausts and silencers that I collected when I went to mend my silencer – quite funny. The heads are painted stones and come off easily, a recognition of the reality that is present-day Iraq? Issam was silent, looking at them, then he said, ‘Yes, let’s see what people think of them tomorrow at the dinner.’

  31 March

  I didn’t manage to talk to anyone at the party last night because I was so busy and Ma wasn’t there to help. Salvi was on the rampage, he nearly bit Alia and did bite Issam. He has forgotten people because he’s been chasing his ladies for so long. Now that he’s back home, he’s taking his guard duties more seriously. I had to tie him up. The black lady is going to have his pups here, I’m sure of that. I try to shoo her away but she won’t leave him alone for a second. Issam sat down at the table and didn’t stop eating until past midnight. He must store food like a camel, and then not eat until his next invitation. Everyone loved my stone people and they came out of the studio laughing – a good, encouraging reaction. But I don’t think anyone will buy this stuff. I have to see what Isabel says about it when she comes tomorrow with Kristoff*. Poor guy, he has to represent US interests here and gets upset by people’s reaction to him. He’s with the Polish embassy and the Iraqi government asked them to represent the USA; they couldn’t say no.

  Went to see Hatem and Leila; their antique shop will never get finished, just like my swimming pool. We started discussing the missing chemicals of Iraq and he said that anything was possible, seeing the way ministries were always transferring people around. Files get mislaid. He himself has lost a lot of stuff because he got tired of packing it up and moving it. One can imagine these chemicals buried on someone’s farm or property and completely forgotten.

  To change the subject, five days ago a yellow lovebird flew in and sat on my window. I called Majeed, who got his ladder and caught her because they cannot live outside. We put her in the cage that belonged to the fancy pigeons that I once kept. I used to leave the door of the cage open so the pigeons could fly about, but Salvi was very jealous and would pee on the cage and try to eat them. Anyway, today we took her to the pet shop and got her a mate – a white lovebird – and they immediately began to coo happily to each other. I gave the pair to Majeed and Hamdiya, who are thrilled to have them.

  We emptied fifty-five buckets of slimy green water from the swimming pool. We had to do it manually because we don’t have a pump and I wanted the pool to dry out. Luckily for us it was not full, now 5 centimetres have emerged in the shallow end.

  1 April

  Isabel came to visit for the first time, she talked for two and a half hours. I asked her how come the French ambassador was going out with her as I thought she was in their bad books. She said, ‘They think I’m sleeping with the president and they have to be friendly!’ She also said that the Americans have made a superhighway from Turkey into Zakho in Kurdistan, which is why the army was in there so quickly and efficiently. Her latest suggestion to the Iraqi government is to turn Lake Razzaza into a sanctuary for dolphins – apparently it’s the only salt-water lake that is 500 kilometres from the sea. It’s large enough, it needs some dredging and planting of seaweed and algae to make it habitable for dolphins. ‘A wonderful idea,’ I said. ‘If you suggested it to the government they might sponsor it.’ The only bad thing is that it would become out of bounds for all of us. She loved my ‘Embargo Art’ and Kristoff said he would do some imaginative publicity about it, something along the lines of how even with an embargo one has not given up. We’ll see.

  3 April

  Am off to meet Kristoff who has found two lovely big car parts and if I like them he’ll provide two tough guys to bring them here. So none other than the US representative is helping me. I’m going to ask him whether he can get a tank to put in front of the Meridien Hotel as part of the embargo exhibition. I will paint it and get everyone I know and people off the streets to write their comments on it. It will be called ‘An Anti-Tank Missal’.

  4 April

  He never showed up. I had gotten so worked up about the whole idea, I feel deflated. I mustn’t get so excited about this exhibition. Better tone down my enthusiasm and expectations. I went and saw Ferial to ask about my swimming-pool parts and about a cow. Found a cow but it was too expensive.

  I was told that if an embargo is enforced and lasts for over five years, then all debts owed by a country are dismissed. That means that if we survive ‘til next year we do not pay our debts. Can that be possible and, if it is, why does no one talk of it? I must check this story for verification.

  The BBC says that it will take the USA the whole of the next century to clean up its nuclear waste and at a cost of billions. They will never do it, and will take the world down with them – what an abuse of nature by man.

  5 April

  All is well again. Kristoff talked to the army and they’re thrilled with the idea of my tank. Kristoff asked whether I wouldn’t like an aeroplane as well! I laughed and said no, it doesn’t have the same meaning for me. Isabel said that while I’m at it I should get more military junk. I asked Medhat whether it’s true about a five-year embargo wiping away one’s debts. ‘No such thing,’ he said. ‘If it was true we’d be leaping at the chance.’ It’s only a few more months.

  The garden is full of large yellow and black, and orange and black, butterflies.

  8 April

  One of the men manually pollinating the date palms just fell off one. The palm had been broken and had no head but he was working on automatic, doing them one after the other in a row, and hadn’t even noticed that it was dead. It’s amazing that he even managed to climb it. Salvi began barking and making a terrible commotion, so I went out but didn’t see anything. But Salvi just kept barking, so Hamdiya went and looked and started screaming and yelling that the man was dead in the bushes. He had fallen into a water ditch and couldn’t be seen from the house. Hashim came running; he had heard a thump. I only heard Salvi barking and the radio blaring. The poor man turned out to have broken his ankle, so we called his partner and together we bandaged his foot with sticks and a nylon rope and wrapped it in a nylon bag.

  11 April

  I keep myself sane by making and creating my crazy stone and junky metal bits combinations – art doesn’t make sense in this context – this is just junk and funny, helps to lighten up our situation. The exit tariff to travel abroad now costs 200,000 dinars; everyone says that by the summer it will be raised to 500,000.

  12 April

  The bees have gone crazy for the poppies in the garden. There are about five or six of them per poppy, drinking the nectar – is there opium in it and will the honey carry its effects? I’m typing outside with the butterflies, bees and birds. The garden is beautiful now. Salvi is asleep under the car. Five white butterflies are dancing in front of me. I wonder if those horrid black caterpillars that I killed when I first came could have turned into these beautiful butterflies.

  Went to the Indian embassy last night. Other diplomats were envious that the Indian ambassador had managed to gather so many artists at his house. It was a good idea; at the beginning everyone stuck close to those they knew, but after dinner there was much intermingling. Met the Cuban ambassador and wanted to exchange embargo information with him and compare notes – lots of comparisons. He has been posted to the Near East for the last twenty years but doesn’t speak any Arabic. He said that at his first posting in Cairo he tried to learn but found the pronunciation difficult and gave up. That doesn’t say much for him. His wife is a dyed blonde and they clutched hands throughout the evening – she speaks Spanish and some Russian and was not friendly. He went to get her some dessert and I said but it
’s the wife who usually does that here, and he said that in Cuba the wife rules and is called ‘the Minister of the Interior’. The Yemeni ambassador said that he’d been in Baghdad for six years, and stayed throughout the war. He comes from the northern part of Yemen. Apparently four ambassadors stayed throughout the war – the Russian, Palestinian, Yemeni and the Vatican nuncio.

  All my solderers (fitterchiye in Iraqi dialect, from the English ‘fitter’) in the garage are out of work. No one has money to repair their cars and so I can’t get any more busted parts. They said that they would soon not have money for petrol, and I said, ‘Well, that’ll mean the end for everyone because it’s the only cheap thing left in this country.’

  13 April

  Just spoke to Amal, her rash is not going away and she’s now taking cortisone. It’s pouring with rain. She was expecting a visit from the Jordanian ambassador, his wife and many others but had locked herself out of her bedroom and was stuck outside in her nightie with no change of clothes. I told her to wear something of Munir’s. He had gone to borrow a tall ladder from the neighbours so that he could climb in through her window and let her in.

  16 April

  My exhibition has been moved from 15 to 3 May. I’m in a state of panic. We have not agreed to the UN resolution allowing for a partial lifting of the sanctions. The dollar is going up and down, and with it the price of sugar, rice, etc, etc. People must be making and losing fortunes overnight. Poor Wafa says she’s going to pull out six teeth because they all need to have root-canal work and each one would cost 3,000 dinars. It’s cheaper just to pull them out. She’s as white as a sheet and in constant pain. To think that once upon a time we had a free national health service.

  Isabel says that parents are beating up their children because they can then be hospitalized for up to three weeks – there they can be fed.

  My beautiful white irises are out, but as soon as a flower comes out, it’s covered with little black ants; I wash them with diluted soap and water; five minutes later, other ants take over. Meanwhile, the lovely irises turn a nasty yellow colour – so the lesser of the two evils is to leave them to the ants. Nothing makes sense any more these days.

  17 April

  I have just been told that one of my three male palm trees is a dud, the one that looks the healthiest. Might as well remove it, said Abu Nizar. Imagine: even palm trees produce beautiful studs that are no good – their pollen is sterile.

  This afternoon I’m going to a Harley-Davidson garage. Isabel is mad about them and she thought I might be able to find some junk there. She has stopped looking for trees and likes pipes instead. Kristoff says he might remove all the silencers from their embassy cars and give them to me; they need replacing. I like the idea of dismantling one’s car for the sake of ART.

  The BBC says that termites produce methane. That means that Iraq is heavily into methane production as the entire country is riddled with termites. We have so many crosses to bear.

  18 April

  Kristoff phoned this morning and, in his wonderful classical Arabic, said he had a guy with a pick-up truck who could take me round all the garbage dumps in Baghdad. I hooted with laughter. Wonder what security thought of that conversation.

  22 April

  Working like a dog, my hands in the most awful state – with all these big pipes and iron pieces, one really gets multi-coloured! My mass destructive weapon is done and I will give it eyes tomorrow. It looks quite lethal. Perhaps I will call it ‘Creature of Mass Destruction’ – ‘Destroyer’ for short.

  Excellent of Qadhafi to send his plane for the hajjis* to go to Mecca and even more amazing on the part of the Saudis to let them in. Perhaps they’re changing. Am glad that the Oklahoma bombing turned out to be a purely American thing, though even now the BBC continues to say that it resembles the New York bombings. They never let up, do they? Somehow there’s always an insinuation of an Arab/Muslim hand in anything bad or evil, that is, if they can’t blame it on us completely.

  7 May

  Too busy with the exhibition to write, too difficult to get back into the rhythm of writing every day. I’m forcing myself to start again. Too much has happened and I seem to have lost the thread of the narrative.

  Garbage men from the Mansur area are much in demand. They sell their garbage to the highest bidder because the rich people of this wealthy neighbourhood often throw away perfectly good things that can be fixed and resold for more money. To what level have we sunk?

  Assia has a whole lot of new teeth that she takes out when she wants to talk. She said they get in the way. She puts them in at night. Hope she doesn’t swallow them.

  Salvi has taken to sleeping in the studio. Two days ago he started his womanizing again – it can’t be the season again so soon. He greeted me at the gate last night, leaping all over me as if to say you are the absent one, not me. I hadn’t seen him for two days and had been leaving his food with Majeed. I gave him a midnight snack and he went off scratching. A bulbul** has made a nest in a rose bush just below eye level. Three eggs, and all have hatched. I’m watching them grow every day. All three are fine.

  9 May

  Ghazi came yesterday and thought it might be fun if I gave the Destroyer to the Rashid Hotel, where it could be seen by foreigners and Rolf Ekeus too (he should be here by the end of the month). I told him the sculpture had Swedish parts in it – five bits from Amal’s Volvo! I asked him about the Bush mosaic at the entrance of the Rashid, apparently it had been commissioned by Uday* and executed by two artists/engineers. The guy in the shop next to Samira’s gallery says the Destroyer was made to destroy him. Samira bought up his shop to enlarge her gallery and every night before we close up the exhibition we take in the Destroyer, dragging in a whole pile of sand with it (it sits on a bed of sand). He is taking a long time moving out, this may hasten his departure.

  12 May

  The UN is sending in a new group to check our weaponry and chemical stuff. I got into hysterics and phoned up everybody and told them they were coming to check on my Destroyer. I must invite them to the exhibition. Samira said they will either shut down the gallery, and we’ll be in trouble, or they will like it. Must take a chance, I said, and she agreed – she’s a real sport.

  18 May

  Dood’s birthday and the BBC says it’s the Pope’s and Margot Fonteyn’s too (but she’s dead). Had a weird conversation with a sculptor the other day. He is having an exhibition in Jordan and wanted to take out his bronzes for that purpose. He was told that bronze is one of the forbidden materials, reserved for military use only – it cannot leave Iraq. He said, ‘Weigh them and I’ll bring back double the amount,’ but they wouldn’t agree. Finally they did agree. Naturally, we were going round imagining how crazy it would be melting down an exhibition, etc, etc.

  I came back home for lunch wanting to look up Dadaism because that’s what everyone tells me that I’m into. I found an anthology on Picasso that had a small reference to Duchamp, and there on the same page, the story of how Picasso worked in secret during World War II with banned materials (bronze, plaster, etc), materials that were specifically for the use of the Nazis. His friends smuggled them out of factories for him, hiding them under garbage wagons, taking them out right from under the noses of the Nazi guards. So what’s new in this world? I learned nothing about Dada.

  My vegetable-growing activities have not been too successful. Not one of my million or so onions came out. They just disappeared. My lettuces have grown into trees with blue flowers; the cabbages, cauliflowers, sprouts and broccoli have great big elephant ears and nothing else. The corn shot up and fanlike fronds went on display, so there will be no corn either. I think my vegetable planting can be termed a failure although the tomatoes are beginning to show. We are waiting for them to turn red. I did get one bunch of runner beans, they were excellent. The greatest struggle was with the dogs, who would lie smack in the middle of the nicely tilled and damp furrows. Majeed had to replant the runner beans umpteen times, the dogs d
ug everything up. Isabel says that Iraqi runner beans are the best and that we could be growing three crops a year and making a fortune. It’s only ten in the morning and the cooler is already blowing out hot air. I guess it’s already busted.