Walking Dick

by Candi Heart

  “What’ll it be, folks?” the vendor asked extra cheerfully when he saw the large denomination on the bill.

  “Rocky road!” we both answered at the same time.

  We glanced over again in surprise before sharing a quiet laugh.

  The ice cream man rolled his eyes and disappeared to the back.

  “So, Alana,” Matt began conversationally, “what is it that you do?”

  I’d always hated that question, because telling someone I was a dog-walker sounded pathetic, as if the job was less work than it actually was. I had a vision, a plan for my future, and I didn’t want to make it sound like I was just a glorified pooper-scooper. Oh well. Here goes...

  “I’m a dog-walker,” I said briskly, taking my cone as it was handed down from the cart.

  Matt took his icy treat as well and considered my answer with a thoughtful frown before his face cleared with a sudden realization. “Actually, that makes a lot of sense.”

  I laughed with nervous embarrassment and a bit of confusion, then asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing,” he said quickly, then licked around his cone, a move that made me weak in the knees. “It’s just... Well, I saw a ton of cabs pull up to your house the day we moved in, lots of people going in and out. I was worried that I moved into the world’s most obvious drug cartel or someone who hosts those Twelve Steps meetings.”

  I threw back my head and roared with a burst of laughter as we settled down on the grass.

  “You thought I ran AA meetings in my house?”

  He shot me a sideways glance. “I didn’t really know what to think, but your real explanation makes a bit more sense.” We stared out at the sweeping lawn for a while before he turned suddenly back. “Actually, it’s ironic.”

  “Ironic? How so?”

  “Well, you’re Alana Catson, and you walk dogs.”

  My eyes screwed shut in a painful grimace. “Sadly enough, this is not the first time I’ve heard that joke.”

  “Sorry.” He blushed and dropped his eyes to the green blanket of grass, then stretched his ice cream-sticky mouth into a grin again. “In the future, I’ll try to be more original.”

  Wait. The future? We have a... future? I thought hopefully, and then took a lick of my own cone to keep myself from saying something stupid.

  As he returned to his rocky road, staring up at the sunny clouds, I looked him up and down with a slight frown. Matt didn’t act like most other gorgeous guys did around the chubby girl. Truth be told, he didn’t even seem to notice, and that was only emphasized by the way I made him blush, which would have seemed impossible.

  “Okay, you win.”

  I looked up with a start. “Huh?”

  He flashed a dimpled grin. “This is the best ice cream on the planet, hands down.” He closed his eyes and leaned back in the sun, tilting his head to catch every possible ray while taking occasional licks off the cone.

  I took advantage of the opportunity to stare without remorse, wondering all the while but never asking the question. Who the heck is this guy?

  Chapter 14

  BY THE TIME WE GOT back to our block, the sun was already beginning to set. It had quickly become clear that my tour of the neighborhood was nothing more than an excuse to spend a relaxing day, in good, gorgeous company that I truly enjoyed. Never once did we glance at the clock. Never once did we feel the need to check our phones for missed messages. We simply sat in the park and talked for hours as the sun skipped slowly across the sky.

  I discovered in those talks that he was a writer, one who’d been blessed with remarkable, immense, and unlikely success at a very young age. His first book was published when he was only 18, and his second, which he penned just two years later, received similar recognition. Now that it was time for his third, though, he found himself stuck. He said none of his usual tricks, all those tactics to get beyond writer’s block, seemed to be working. “It’s as if all my typical wells of inspiration have dried up,” he said, peering up at the blue sky, as if the clouds had an answer for him. After floundering around for a few months, receiving increasingly anxious calls from his agents, he decided he needed a change, something to re-spark his brain. “I figured a change of scenery might do the trick. I wanted to go to Key Largo, but my publisher insisted on New York, so I can do book signings and glamorous parties to get my name out there,” Matt said. “I tried to talk him out of it, but in the end, it was decided that I’m only going to have a killer career in the city, that it’s my only chance for a piece of the Big Apple pie.”

  Two weeks after that decision was made, he packed up his Los Angeles condo and moved across the country to the exclusive little neighborhood in the heart of New York City. His girlfriend, Steph, came along reluctantly, claiming it wasn’t fair that her career had to suffer just so his could flourish. He reminded her that there were many opportunities for her in New York, that it could be her golden ticket for a successful modeling career, and she finally agreed.

  Matt was incredibly forthcoming about everything and answered every question openly and honestly, without any shame. He spoke plainly about anything I wanted to know, and he didn’t seem to feel the need to keep any secrets except for one. The only thing he was hesitant to discuss was Steph.

  My own personal feelings of jealousy aside, I didn’t understand their relationship at all. I hadn’t known them long, but already, I could see that they just didn’t make sense as a couple. From what I had seen and heard, I knew she was shallow, mean-spirited, high-strung, and completely unsupportive of her boyfriend’s career, the very career that just so happened to pay for that designer wardrobe she liked to strut around in.

  Matt, on the other hand, was none of those things. In fact, he couldn’t have been more different than his insignificant other. I had never come across anyone so open and welcoming, anyone so willing to try new things. There was a playfulness to him, one that came out several times throughout the day, but he had a deep, contemplative side as well. I saw a quiet inquisitiveness dancing behind his eyes as he stared out over the city, making mental notes to satisfy the writer in him.

  Needless to say, I didn’t remotely understand their allegedly romantic pairing. I supposed there was a chance that she was currently just in an especially foul mood because of the move, but I highly doubted that. They shared a mutual physical beauty that was undeniable, and they were both shockingly attractive people, but to be honest, I didn’t think that was their bond, because Matt did not strike me as the least bit vain.

  At any rate, she was the only subject he wasn’t eager to talk about. Not only that, but even though she’d said she was going out on a quick run, she didn’t call or text him for the entire rest of the day, and he didn’t contact her either.

  “So... this is me.”

  I glanced up at my door as the two of us came to a stop in front of my house. Rather than immediately going his separate way, Matt simply nodded and, like a gentleman, escorted me all the way up to the welcome mat. It wasn’t the first moment of chivalry I’d seen over the course of the day either; those sorts of things seemed to come very naturally to him.

  “Well, thank you for the tour.” He raked a hand through his hair again, suddenly looking very shy as I fiddled with the key in the lock. “I couldn’t have asked for a better one.”

  I twisted the handle and glanced over my shoulder. “So it was everything you expected?”

  A slow grin crept across his face. “It was nothing like I expected, but... Well, I learned a lot.”

  We stared at each other for a moment more before quickly dropping our eyes. A light snapped on in his house, but he seemed determined to ignore it. He also seemed incredibly reluctant to go home, even though he didn’t seem to notice that reluctance himself.

  “So, uh... Do you have everything you need for Sadie?” I asked suddenly.

  Even though I’d had hours for it to sink in, I still couldn’t believe he’d spontaneously decided to adopt the beautiful dog.
She certainly wasn’t a puppy, not what most people were looking for in a new pet to take in. After spending the day with Matt, though, I realized that her size and condition and age wouldn’t matter to him in the slightest.

  “I think we’re all set,” he said, but he sounded uncertain. “I mean, I went out and got all the basics, but I’ve actually never had a dog. I’ve had horses and cats, but that’s different, I’m sure. I guess I could have forgotten something.”

  Some people might have let such a remark go by, but I offered him a raised eyebrow and a grin. “Horses and cats?” I repeated, incredulous. “You had horses?”

  He looked up in surprise, and then blushed self-consciously. “Yep... and birds, ferrets, and the occasional frog.” He dropped his eyes again, grinning at the welcome mat under our feet. “I collected a rather odd assortment when I was a kid,” he said with a boyish shrug when he looked back up at me.

  “No, no, don’t worry about it,” I teased. “Frogs and ferrets are totally normal. I suppose you had a platypus too.”

  He smiled again but made no attempt to defend himself as we shared a good-natured laugh. We both fell silent at the same time, and it only took a second or two for that quiet to become awkward.

  As if to accentuate the feeling, a door opened and slammed from somewhere inside his house. Obviously, Steph was waiting for him, and she wasn’t happy about him breaking her curfew.

  Matt’s shoulders tensed automatically, and he forced a parting smile. “I guess that’s my cue. I should go, but thanks again, Alana. I mean it.” Then, much to my astonishment and secret delight, he leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. “I had a wonderful time.”

  He was already halfway back to his own house before I came to my senses. The skin on my face was burning where his lips had brushed against it, and my heart was fluttering so fast that I thought there was a good chance it might explode.

  Another beautiful people thing? Kissing people on the cheek? I wondered, lifting a finger to touch the place he’d kissed. Celebrities and Europeans are always doing that.

  “Goodnight,” I called quietly, knowing there was a good chance he couldn’t hear me.

  Sure enough, by the time I glanced across the yard, he was already inside. I watched the progression of lights turning on and off, and I mentally followed him up the stairs in their wake. By the time the final bedroom light flipped on, I could already hear his girlfriend start shouting.

  A sympathetic wince creased my forehead as I turned to go inside. Only then did I notice a piece of paper stuffed into my doorframe, a stamped envelope, bearing some kind of official seal, the kind of letter no one ever wants to get.

  I picked it up carefully, wearing the first frown I’d worn all day. I quickly opened it, resisted the urge to tear it into pieces, and then read the name at the bottom: “Mr. Carl Preaker, New York Business Licensing Association.” The simple message above that not-so-complimentary closing was scribbled in messy handwriting: “Dear Ms. Catson, I know what you’ve been doing. We need to talk...”

  Chapter 15

  “ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING to me?!”

  It may have been three in the morning, but I was shouting into the phone, giving my best friend a rude awakening.

  “Apparently, we’re not allowed to run an unregistered business out of a private residence inside city limits. This Preaker guy is threatening to shut us down permanently, Nate! He’s gonna shut us down!”

  There was a stifled yawn on the other end of the line, followed by a soft rustling sound as Nate flipped over on his pillow. “Who is this anyway? I think you have the wrong number, so...”

  “Nate!” I shrieked. “Don’t you get how serious this is? We’ve been operating without any sort of permit, outside the city judiciary!”

  I’d spent the last four hours glued to the computer, frantically Googling every word I could think of that would even remotely relate, including “city judiciary,” the kind of words that terrified me.

  “Seriously, who is this?”

  By now, I was pacing. “Look, I always just assumed we were too small of an operation,” I muttered, more to myself than to him. “We don’t even have one of those credit card swiper things, for goodness sake! How on Earth did we even pop up on their radar if we don’t even have a swiper?! I think the NSA or Mark Zuckerberg or that WikiLeaks guy is behind this! It’s a Russian conspiracy!”

  Nate sighed again. ”Hell, I don’t know. Maybe we walked one of their dogs.”

  As he let out another yawn, my blood rose to a boil. “You know what? You’re un-freaking-believable!”

  Dick’s head followed me back and forth, his big eyes moving faster and faster to pursue me as I blurred across the room.

  “Nate, if I was calling to tell you about some sale going on at Barneys, you’d be over here in five minutes, no matter what time it is. When I call to tell you our very livelihood is going up in smoke—the way you make the money to waste at Barneys—you act like you couldn’t care less!”

  After a pause, he had the audacity to ask, Aly, is there a sale going on at Barneys?”

  “Nate!”

  “All right, all right! Just calm down,” he said, finally awake and not a moment too soon. “I don’t see any point in freaking out when it’s not exactly bad news. It was... to be expected.”

  My feet stopped in their tracks as I stared at the phone, feeling as if I was drowning in a huge pool of betrayal. “You expected this?”

  “Actually, I’ve been hoping for it,” he countered.

  “What?! Why the —”

  “Because it means we’re finally on the right track, that we’ve finally grown enough that we now require legal consideration.”

  Legal consideration? Nothing about that sounds good.

  I sank onto my bed, now letting out a sigh of my own. “And why, exactly, would you hope for that, Nate? It sounds like something that could land us both in jail.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. It only means we’re gonna have to rent out a place in town to expand the business.” This time, he actually did me the courtesy of stifling his yawn before I stroked out on the spot. “That’s exactly what we’ve been planning to do anyway.”

  My heartrate slowed by a fraction, and I bit my lip as I considered it. In a way, he was right. I did want to expand; I’d been wanting to for as long as I could remember, and it would be better and more professional to have a place for customers to drop off my dogs, rather than my house. In fact, I’d spent the last few weeks trying to nail down a time with Nate just so the two of us could talk it through.

  “So you’re saying this is just one of those cosmic signs?” I asked slowly. “A little nudge in the right direction, so we can take it the rest of the way?”

  From the sound of his voice, I could practically see him roll his eyes. “Well, at the risk of sounding like a fortune cookie, yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying, karma or something.” There was another soft rustling noise as he shifted around on the bed. “Now, if we’re going to be on the phone in the middle of the night, can we please talk about something important?”

  A reluctant smile crept up the side of my face. “Like what?”

  “Like what,” he scoffed. “Like how your date went with the hottie next door.”

  Without another word, I hung up the phone.

  Chapter 16

  THE NEXT MORNING, I decided to do something risky: follow Nate’s advice.

  After logging on to check in with my diet club and informing them that I was actually sticking only to the food regimen they recommended, and that I was being a good girl and avoiding crimes like ice cream (what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them, I decided), I quickly dressed and headed out onto the front porch with a bottle of water and the morning paper.

  The Riverwood Chronicle was no New York Times. It was really a cheesy publication that only focused on local news, the happenings in about twelve square blocks in any direction. Normally, it was a quaint appendage of our fair little to
wn that I never bothered with, but on that morning, the local news was exactly what I wanted to read.

  “Storefront rentals...” I muttered, then ran my finger over the listings as I scanned the column. To my surprise, there were actually quite a number of options available, and I found myself growing absurdly excited as I scribbled the numbers and addresses down on my hand. It was Sunday, but most of the contact information seemed to be for residences instead of businesses, so I decided to give it a try, only to be sorely disappointed.

  “Wait. Did you say $4,500 a month?!” I exclaimed, making no effort whatsoever to mask my dismay. “Are you serious? You’re asking almost $5,000 for just a little more than closet space?”

  On the other end, Mrs. Edith Tanner sighed loudly. “Alana, if you aren’t prepared to make a serious offer, why are you bothering me at eight o’clock on a Sunday morning? You know, Keith and I were just about to head to church, and—”

  “I-I didn’t know I wouldn’t be making a serious offer. You’re asking for serious money here, for a place no bigger than an outhouse!” I screamed, realizing my emotions had officially started to get the better of me. Despite embarking upon my quest with the greatest of enthusiasm, I simply could find nothing even remotely in my price range, and I was beginning to doubt that such a price range even existed, even in our tiny town.

  “Now, Alana,” Mrs. Turner said in the same stern voice she used to teach my Sunday school class since the second grade, “you must think these things out before you waste others’ time, especially on the Lord’s day, dear.”

  “Yeah, sorry. Thanks,” I said, then hung up and sank down on the bench in a fit of despair.

  This is never going to work. I’ll never have enough money to rent a place in this city, not anywhere in this whole darn state! Now this Preaker guy is gonna show up with a cease-and-desist in one hand and an arrest warrant in the other, and—