Walking Dick

by Candi Heart

  Matt glanced up in surprise. There was no pre-rehearsed answer, no form-letter reply. In fact, he looked as if the question baffled him, as if it was one he’d never been asked by anyone else before. I found that odd, considering that he was living with a girl who was supposed to care about that sort of thing.

  “It’s... I’ve actually hit a bit of a rough patch lately.” His eyes took on that faraway look that happened whenever he thought about his work. “I thought I’d stumbled onto something, but it didn’t pan out.”

  My brow tightened in honest concern. I knew the pressure he was under from agents and publishers to come up with something brilliant, and I knew exactly how hard he had been working to meet their demands. “I’m sorry to hear that,” I murmured. My eyes flickered up carefully, as a sudden confession rose to the tip of my tongue. “Actually, I read your other two.”

  While I had made a concerted effort to bar myself from seeing the man himself, that didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy Matthew Porter, author extraordinaire, in other ways. The day after the two of us drove home from Manhattan, I hurried to Amazon and bought both books. While I was fully prepared to admit that there was some bias in it, my opinion was that his work was absolutely amazing. If there was any doubt, it could quickly be put to rest by the countless critics and reviewers who bestowed countless literary awards and five-star reactions upon him. The depth, the insight, and the heartbreaking conclusion illustrated the kind of writing that earned a permanent place in my memory, and if it wouldn’t have been a mite too awkward, I would have written precisely that on his Amazon review page.

  Matt’s astonishment doubled right there on the spot. “You read my stuff?” he asked, seemingly amazed at first, then introspective. Then his face softened with an uncharacteristic expression I could only describe as shy. “That’s...” He trailed off, at a loss for words. His eyes dropped down to the tile again, and while I knew I might be imagining it, he looked profoundly touched. “That was incredibly sweet of you. No one else has ever done that.”

  Huh. Not even your girlfriend?

  I cleared my throat and quickly flashed a cheerful smile. “You mean, except the tens of thousands of other people who lined up around the block just to buy them? I believe ‘bestseller’ was tossed around once or twice.”

  He blushed but looked rather pleased at the same time. “You know critics. They throw words around like they’re nothing. It doesn’t really mean much.”

  I laughed and shook my head at his modesty; at that point, I wouldn’t have expected anything less from him. “Yeah, I totally know critics.”

  We shared another laugh before quieting down into thoughtful smiles. Our eyes met, and my heart quickened. For just a moment, I feared I was going to have to grab Dick and make a run for the exit, but an overwhelming question stopped me: Why run? This is exactly where I want to be.

  “Listen,” I said quietly, determined to salvage whatever I could, “I know things got a little... weird after dinner that night, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends. We’re next-door neighbors, for goodness sake. We’re bound to run into each other from time to time.”

  His eyes flickered nervously around the store but softened when they landed on me again. “I’d really like that,” he answered in a voice just as quiet as mine. “I’ve actually been wanting to talk with you about it for a while, but there was always... Steph!”

  For the second time, I whirled around to find myself face to face with his girlfriend. The waif of a woman was standing at the end of one of the long aisles, looking like a grumpy fashion model woken too early from a nap. Sadie cringed at the mere sight of her, and Matt looked like he’d been slapped in the face.

  “What are you—”

  “You said you were going out for dog food, so I thought I’d join you,” she said coolly as her icy eyes swept onto me. “I see you found a friend.”

  Despite the fact that we’d only been carrying on with a harmless conversation, that darn blush colored my cheeks again, and I took a discreet step away. “Happy coincidence,” I said with a nervous smile, gesturing down to the Dick and Sadie. “It appears our dogs have fallen in love.”

  Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and her lips curled back in what I was sure was supposed to be a smile. “Yes, it seems that they have. Maybe they can both live with you. I swear, I hate that mutt as much as I hate this horrible city. I came here with an open mind, chasing the man of my dreams, so I’m trying to adjust. I’ll do anything for Matt.”

  I had no idea how such a simple statement could come across like a threat, but she seemed to be gifted in that area. Furthermore, she seemed to pick up on all those little flaws and imperfections Matt was unable to put his finger on, critically surveying me the way only one girl could another. Her eyes swept up and down me, making a split-second appraisal, noting my toned arms, tan skin, and curvaceous little sundress. Then her face soured to an infinitesimal degree. It was all over too fast for anyone but me to notice, but in the next second, she swept forward and did the last thing in the world I ever would have expected to see: She grabbed Matt by the collar, yanked him down to her height, and kissed him.

  My stomach roiled and burned as I turned my eyes discreetly away, trying to avoid looking but being completely unable to do so all at the same time.

  His body had tensed with surprise, freezing as still as a statue while her manicured talons raked through his hair. Her lips curled up in a smug smile, and I could have sworn she flashed me a nasty look as her tongue snaked into his mouth.

  It was over in just a few seconds, but the damage was done.

  She released Matt in a swift motion, then had the audacity to look at me with a sweet smile on her face. “Sorry about that,” she said with a girlish giggle, lacing her fingers through his. “You know how it is when you haven’t seen your man in a few hours,” she said, stressing the “your man” in a way that was impossible to ignore. Then, before I had the chance to answer or vomit, her brow furrowed with a mock frown. “Or do you?” She cocked a bony hip out, pretending to think it over. “I don’t remember what Matt said about you. Do you have a boyfriend? Someone to keep you occupied?”

  In other words, “He’s mine, so back off.”

  It was as if a little dagger was wedged between my ribs, and I struggled to maintain my fixed smile. “Not at the moment. My life is a little hectic right now with my job, and—”

  “That’s right. Mattie told me!” Her eyes glittered wickedly. “You’re a dog-walker.”

  The venom in the words was impossible to ignore, and I saw Matt squeeze her hand sharply. He opened his mouth to intervene, but she beat him to the punch.

  “Well, maybe you can walk Sadie sometimes.” She glanced down at the two dogs still wrestling on the floor, pausing as if she was actually a bit unsure as to which was hers. “It would give Matt and me a little alone time. I’m sure we can pay you better money than you’re used to. Modeling pays well, and my Matt’s a famous author. Did you see his picture all over Times Square? Who wouldn’t buy a book from this gorgeous man? And to think, he’s all mine!”

  There it is, my cue to leave.

  Without looking at either of them, I sank quickly to the floor and unfastened the clasp on Dick’s collar. He pranced to my side as I gathered up his leash. “Congrats, Matt. I bet your book sales will soar with all that branding. Enjoy your shopping. I’ll see you guys later.”

  Matt’s face paled in mortification as Steph’s eyes lit up with a dangerous gleam.

  “Oh, you can count on it,” she said.

  Chapter 27

  I COULDN’T SLEEP THAT night. Whenever I tried, I was plagued with images of Stick-Figure Barbie coming at me with a lip gloss and a knife. Whatever invisible battle lines had been drawn at the pet store that day, one thing was clear: If Steph didn’t see me as a threat before, she certainly saw me as one now. Really, that was weird, considering that her Writer Ken and I hadn’t seen each other in almost two months.

  No mat
ter what I did, I couldn’t shake that sick feeling in my stomach, and the events played over and over again in my head: the way her eyes sharpened to little points as they swept over me from head to toe, the cold chills that ran up my spine when she promised that we’d see each other again, and the literal ache in my heart when she and Matt kissed.

  That was what I had the most trouble understanding. The kiss itself was pretty transparent, but I couldn’t fathom what was behind the strength of my reaction to it. The two of them were dating seriously, living together, and had even moved across the country together. They obviously did a lot more than kiss on a regular basis. I understood that they shared a bed, and I knew just by looking at Matt that no woman on God’s green Earth could have possibly kept her hands off him. I understood all that, but what I didn’t understand was why I was thrown so off balance by the simple act of seeing their lips come together.

  It was as if my entire world had darkened to some shadowy shade, as if a hypothetical door suddenly slammed in my face, even before I realized it was open. Despite all the confidence I’d built up over the last six weeks, the walls came crashing down, and I suddenly felt as lost and helpless as the new kid in town on the first day of school, staring numbly at my shoes while the popular kids laughed and made out on the other side of the hall.

  Get over it, Alana, I told myself furiously. She wants to get under your skin, and that’s exactly what you’re letting her do. He’s not even your boyfriend. He’s hers. Move past it.

  That was going to be easier said than done, but I was determined to try.

  The next morning, I went back to the storefront. By now, the two neighboring tenants had met me and knew of my plans, and they waved cheerfully as I made my way inside.

  See? The bright promise of the future. Focus on that, not the Ghost of Girlfriends Past.

  I flashed them both a winning smile as I swept inside, then threw my purse on the counter with the veteran toss of someone who had been there many times before.

  There was still a ton to do; that much was undeniable. Still, the place was no longer empty, and it was clean, so that was a major plus.

  The day after Matt and I stopped seeing each other, I drove over to Nate’s place and forced him into my car without explanation. To build the suspense, I actually drove circles around town for a few minutes before finally rolling to a stop in front of the store.

  Nate was thrilled. In the way he usually reserved for the newest issue of men’s fashion magazines and any film involving Channing Tatum, he literally squealed. His eyes widened to a cartoonish extent as he stepped over the threshold with a kind of hushed reverence. “This is going to be great,” he whispered, grinning from ear to ear. “I can feel it.”

  Then, just like that, the two of us got straight to work. I did most of the manual labor: painting, scrubbing, sweeping, and cleaning. He, on the other hand, ventured bravely into the world of IKEA and returned three hours later with a bit of everything we needed. He even found a used registration counter at a nail salon’s going-out-of-business sale and tricked five tourists into helping him shove it onto the subway.

  Basically, our space was now prepped and ready for business. All we needed were some dogs and their owners—and those dollars in the owners’ purses and pockets, so I could make the down-payment on time and wouldn’t have to deal with another run-in with the worst dog of all, Mr. Preaker.

  “Morning, Alana!”

  I looked up with a smile as Mrs. Waverly breezed through the door. As the current owner, she was incredibly nice and patient when it came to my rather unorthodox schedule. She allowed me to prepare the space for my clients even before I gave the down-payment so I could make the first month’s rent as soon as possible. All the other landlords I’d ever had would have laughed at even the suggestion of such an arrangement, but fortunately, sweet Mrs. Waverly was nothing like other landlords.

  “Good morning!” I gestured at the papers in front of me. “I just came in early to try to set up some sort of filing system so I’ll be ready for the open house,” I said, considering it wise to show her that I wasn’t up to no good, secretly planning to invoke squatter’s rights. At the moment, everything rested on that open house. We’d put so much work into the preparations that I was sure it was going to be a huge success, so much so, that it would earn me that down-payment and then some.

  “Wonderful!” she exclaimed, her eyes sweeping approvingly over the color swatches I was testing on the wall. “You know, Frank and I are planning on visiting for that.”

  Of course you are... because you’re a saint!

  “Now that’s wonderful,” I said with a smile. My phone buzzed, and I reached into my bag to grab it. “Maybe I can finally trick you into getting a dog...” I trailed off amidst her crackling laughter, staring in confusion at the number, the landline for the Radin family, my neighbors to the right. Considering how tight-knit our little city within a city was, I actually didn’t know them all that well; we had exchanged numbers only because it seemed like the prudent thing to do.

  “Hello?” I answered cautiously, waving goodbye to Mrs. Waverly as she made her way out the door and across the street for her morning coffee.

  “Alana?” Mrs. Radin rushed out, sounding quite worried. “Have I caught you at a bad time?”

  “No, no, not at all,” I said quickly, preemptively anxious about Dick. “Is everything okay?”

  “Well, I think so.” She hesitated. “I’m not really sure, though. That’s why I’m calling.”

  Just spit it out already!

  “One of your clients showed up at your house a few minutes after you left, the one with the two border collies. I saw them when I was taking Arissa to ballet.”

  My forehead creased in confusion. So a client got the date wrong. It happens sometimes. What’s the big deal?

  “Thank you so much for letting me know,” I said.

  “Well, I was going to tell them you’d be out for the day. I mean, it’s happened once or twice before, right? But that new girl who moved in next door walked over instead.”

  New girl? As in Steph? Just like that, my confusion turned to alarm, then to outright dread.

  “Anyway, I heard her tell them that you’d be back in just a few minutes. She said they were welcome to leave the dogs inside until you returned.”

  What?! That’s not good, not good at all.

  “I saw them try your door, and it was open, as usual. They put the dogs inside and drove away.”

  The noise of morning television, all those cackling women on The View, played softly in the background, and I could almost see Mrs. Radin pacing, wondering if she’d done the right thing. “I would have called you sooner, but I just assumed you’d told the new girl it would be all right.”

  My eyes snapped shut as the final piece fell into place. “Wait a second. How long ago was this?”

  “About two hours ago.”

  Two hours?! The two most hyperactive border collies in the world have been trapped inside my tiny house for the last two hours?!

  “It’s fine, right?” Mrs. Radin asked, her voice tightening anxiously, seeking automatic reassurance, even though my house was the one currently suffering from World War III: Canine Edition. “You’ll be back soon, won’t you?”

  My papers dropped to the floor, and I snatched my purse quickly. Within less than a second, I was running, full tilt, to my car. “As soon as physically possible,” I said into the phone, panting as I ran.

  Chapter 28

  HOW MUCH DAMAGE CAN two border collies manage in two hours? I asked myself, and I soon had my answer: More than you would possibly believe.

  It was a catastrophe, as if a tornado had touched down in the middle of a tsunami and chased by a hurricane. Kellie and Kaylee were outdoor dogs, not at all accustomed to indoor manners, and it was apparent in the carnage and chaos. There wasn’t an inch of the entire house that didn’t bear tragic witness to their blissful explorations of an environment they knew nothing about.
>
  Papers were scattered. Cushions were ripped to shreds. Pictures were crooked on the wall; I had no idea how they managed that, because they weren’t that tall. The bathroom looked like a scene right out of Psycho, with my shower curtain trampled and chewed on the floor. Despite the fact that I’d been careful to shut my bedroom door that morning, they had somehow managed to pry it open and destroyed much of that room, and the kitchen did not survive the eight-legged assault either.

  I stood in the middle of the living room, just staring at my place, numbed and horrified. The collies were safely in the backyard, and Dick was sitting solemnly beside me. I was sure he had tried to temper their enthusiasm in his own stately way, but it would have been like trying to stop two oncoming trains.

  I can’t believe she did this. That thought kept looping through my brain, like a broken record I couldn’t seem to turn off. I just... I can’t believe she did this. There really was only that one minute with Matt, that one weird moment, and I was willing to bet my life he hadn’t shared that with his girlfriend.

  In that pivotal moment, we didn’t even kiss. Instead, we realized we were in over our heads, reassessed the situation, and took a giant step back. Talk about overkill: We hadn’t even spoken for the last two months, which was no easy feat, because we lived right next door to each other. We were having the friend zone discussion when Steph caught us talking in the pet store, but that didn’t seem to matter.

  She’s going to resort to this? This is her reaction to us wanting to be regular, normal neighbors?

  Suddenly, a photograph of me and Nate fell off the wall in a shower of glass, and I almost jumped out of my skin. An enraged scream exploded from my mouth, one I was sure Steph could hear next door.

  But then, just as quickly as the rage had come, it passed.

  She doesn’t want me talking to her boyfriend, huh? Not even as a friend? Now that I’ve shrunk to a size that forces her to see me as competition, my head’s suddenly on the chopping block? I don’t think so, lady.