The Devil's Daughter

by Laura Drewry

  Maybe tonight would be the night Jed finally gave in to her. Maybe tonight she’d finally get what she wanted.

  What was it that she wanted again?

  Freedom.

  Freedom from an eternity in the deepest, darkest, depths of Hell.

  She bit her tongue just as the word began to slip from it. Oh yes, she wanted her freedom. And regardless of how warm and wonderful Jed made her feel, regardless of how much she’d miss him when he was gone, and regardless of how much she’d grown to. . .

  This was madness.

  Nothing made sense anymore. All the emotions she was used to feeling – impatience, fear, anger and hatred – disappeared when she was with Jed. Instead, she felt. . .what?

  It didn’t matter what she felt. All she cared about was her freedom. Once she had escaped for good, she could take the time to try to understand these new feelings.

  But between now and then, she’d stay right where she was, in Jed’s warm embrace, and hope she’d be able to remember it when she was free.

  Free and alone.

  She’d been alone in her life thus far; she could certainly remain that way once this was over. How hard could it be?

  Lucy closed her eyes and inhaled slowly, trying to loosen the knots from her stomach and shoulders. But no matter how hard she tried to block them, disturbing images crashed and crowded through her mind; Deacon hovering over Jed’s lifeless body, then setting his evil sights on Maggie. Then Lucy.

  A nudge on her shoulder brought her back to reality.

  “Hey,” Jed murmured. “We’re home.”

  “What?” Lucy sat up slowly, glancing around. Sure enough, the wagon had come to a stop just outside the lean-to barn.

  “You slept almost the whole way.” Jed smiled at her. “All that shopping must have worn you out.”

  “Yes,” she fumbled to answer. “I guess it did.”

  The memory of her dream wouldn’t leave her alone. She tried to shake it off, but threads of the image lingered in her mind even as Jed lifted her down from the wagon seat.

  He handed her the large package Miss Celia had wrapped and turned her toward the barn.

  “Go.”

  “But what about. . .” she faltered.

  This was no time to hesitate. She’d spent all this time trying to get Jed to show interest and now that he finally was, she was gripped by a fear so deep she wasn’t even sure she could walk.

  “I’ll take care of this.” Jed shrugged toward the supplies in the back of the wagon, then pointed at the package in her hands. “You go take care of that.”

  She swallowed hard and forced a smile, one that showed no signs of convincing Jed of anything. Ugh – she was so stupid. This was not the time to be afraid. This was the time to finish things. If she didn’t, Deacon certainly would.

  Lucy hurried inside the barn, back to the far corner where they slept, but took several minutes to catch her breath before she moved a step farther. She could do this. She had to do this.

  Breathe.

  What if Jed didn’t react the way she wanted him to – or the way she needed him to?

  What if, once he realized she wasn’t as experienced as she’d led him to believe, he’d be so furious at yet another lie that he refused to have anything to do with her?

  Jed Caine was a man of truth, and even though this wasn’t a big lie – or even a bad lie – he’d no doubt consider it a lie nonetheless.

  Breathe.

  She’d have to deal with that when the time came. Right now, she had to focus on getting him to that point. And that meant she’d have to shake off these fears and finish the job she came here to do.

  A rush of warmth pooled in her belly, the same warmth that came with every thought of Jed touching her. No one else had ever caused that odd rush inside her. What did it mean?

  Trouble, that’s what it meant.

  Outside the horses whinnied and snorted while Jed released them from the harness and led them inside the lean-to. A few minutes later, the sounds of the wagon bed creaking beneath his weight hurried Lucy into action. She had to be ready by the time he’d finished.

  With careful fingers, she removed the string around the package and laid it open on the blanket. The deep purple silk appeared almost black in the dimness of the barn. No lace, no ribbons, no. . .what was the word Jed had used that first day? Frippery. No frippery.

  It was everything she knew it should be, and nothing Jed would be expecting.

  She pulled off her green dress, shook it out, and hung it on one of the nails she’d hammered up. Shivering against the cool air, she hastened to rid herself of drawers, stockings and chemise, too.

  Poor Jed. He had no idea what was coming.

  When he’d sent her into the store for a new dress, he hadn’t been overly specific about what kind of dress she was to purchase.

  He no doubt expected a fancy supper gown, much like the green one now hanging on the nail. Originally, Lucy had thought the same thing, but then Miss Celia had shown her this amazing garment instead.

  A nightgown was still a gown.

  Fingers trembling, she shook the silky fabric out gently before slipping it over her head and letting it slide down her body. The only thing better than the feel of silk against her skin was Jed’s hands, but she wouldn’t think of that.

  She wouldn’t.

  She’d think about the silk. Beautiful plum-colored silk.

  It had been a long time since the last creak of the wagon – surely he hadn’t finished so soon. Lucy hurried into the matching silk robe and fastened the tie at her throat, her fingers trembling harder with each movement.

  No bustle, no hoops, no frippery. Just plain and simple. Almost practical. She glanced down at the neckline and grinned. Maybe not so practical.

  She pulled her brush and hairpins from the shelf and set to work. Miss Celia had suggested she wear her hair up in a soft knot, and if anyone knew style, it was Miss Celia. So up it went.

  With her neck bare to the wind and cold, and the thin silk doing nothing to keep her warm, she’d have to live with that for one more night. After all, one more night of cold certainly beat an eternity of hellfire.

  Her stomach fluttered and pitched with every breath, and her hands trembled incessantly. With a final deep and shuddering breath, she opened the barn door and peeked out into the last light of day.

  At first she didn’t see him. Perhaps he’d gone into the house. . .

  There he was. A hundred yards down the path to the creek, he’d stopped cold and was staring at her. Even with the distance separating them, she could sense his clean shirt prickling against his chest and arms, could feel his fingers aching to scratch it. But he didn’t.

  Maybe because his hands were full of dirty clothes.

  Lucy swallowed hard, but remained where she was. She could do this. She could. Couldn’t she?

  After a long, earth-tipping moment, he finally took a step, then another, each longer than the last, until he stopped two arm lengths away. The dirty clothes tumbled from his arms as he walked--first his shirt, then his other pair of pants and underthings. He tripped over them as he walked, but didn’t slow down or move to retrieve them.

  Water dripped from his tousled hair. A tiny drop of blood caked the curve of his freshly shaven jaw, and he smelled of fresh water and sunshine. The smell of Jed.

  “I, um. . .” he breathed. “Wow.”

  Lucy forced herself to move. She spread her arms and turned in a slow, deliberate circle.

  “What do you think?” she asked, struggling to find her voice.

  He took another half-step, tripped over his hat as it landed at his feet, then stopped again. “I, uh. . .”

  That amazing smile of his finally found his lips.

  “I think that’s the best money we ever spent.” He blew a long breath across his bottom lip, then found her gaze. He blushed a little, his smile faltering. “I’m almost scared to touch you.”

  Lucy’s skin screamed for his touch. Her
mouth ached for his, and the warmth inside her ignited into a massive wildfire.

  “Jed.” His name was a mere whisper against her lips, but it spurred him toward her. He kicked his hat aside, took her hands and just stood there, staring.

  “Sweet Jesus.” His dark, stormy eyes roamed the length of her, slowly inching their way back up to her face. “You’re beautiful.”

  Heat rushed over her skin, but she wouldn’t look away. How many times had she been told she was beautiful? Too many to count. Tonight, this very minute, was the first time she dared believe it. The first time she dared to let it matter.

  He lifted his hand toward her face, then paused, gazing down at her. Each passing second was an eternity.

  Lucy’s lids slipped closed, and her lips opened, waiting, waiting. But instead of touching her or kissing her, he simply reached up and pulled the pins from her hair. It fell in soft waves around her shoulders and down her back, bringing her eyes open again.

  Jed slid his fingers through its length, rubbing it gently between his fingers as he went.

  “Down,” he murmured. “I like it down.”

  She couldn’t help smiling at him. “Not very practical of you, Jedidiah.”

  He didn’t smile back. Instead, his eyes darkened more, his fingers continuing to stroke every inch of her hair.

  “To hell with being practical.”

  He moved his right hand to cup the side of her face, gently at first until Lucy leaned into his touch. His left hand caressed her other cheek, his thumb moving over her skin with such tenderness it left a deepening ache inside her. Breath caught in her throat, the air frozen within her lungs.

  Warm fingers breathed across her throat to where she’d tied the robe, and slowly pulled the strings apart. Slowly, inch by inch, he slid the silk off one shoulder, then the other, until the robe slipped from her arms to pool at her feet.

  “I. . .I can’t--” Before she could finish, Jed lowered his mouth to hers and swallowed the rest of her words. She trembled against his touch, frightened of feeling any more, terrified of feeling any less.

  Unable to think straight, she simply let him think for both of them, to lead her wherever he wanted. He took his time, feathering light kisses against her lips, tasting, teasing, begging until she returned his kisses with equal need.

  A frightening weakness buckled her knees. She leaned into him, desperate for his strength. Jed wrapped one arm around her waist, bringing her up hard against him. His kiss deepened, as did her need. And her fear.

  She slipped her arms around him, desperate to be closer, then closer still, until there wasn’t a breath of air between them. Jed dragged his mouth away from hers, then pressed his lips against the skin of her neck.

  “Inside,” he rasped between kisses against her ear and throat. He lifted her off the ground and moved back inside the barn, out of the chilly air, and out of view of the house.

  Lucy couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t stand to see the emotion burning in his eyes. If only she could close off every other part of her, too.

  “Look at me, Lucy.”

  She couldn’t. Every time their eyes met, her resistance took another hit. Many more and it would crash down around her.

  Where was a snake when you really needed a distraction?

  “I sure as hell didn’t expect this to happen so soon,” he whispered, brushing his thumb across her bottom lip.

  Fire burned behind Lucy’s eyes. She couldn’t let him see it, couldn’t allow herself even a single tear. So why were her eyes filling up so fast?

  He held her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes, where the ugly truth lay open to the world.

  “I l. . .”

  Before he could say it, Lucy kissed him. She couldn’t let him say it out loud. Not yet. Once he said it out loud, she would be forced to finish her mission. If she didn’t, Deacon would.

  Selfish, yes, but she needed more time with Jed, more moments like this where she could try to put his touch, his taste, and his words to memory, so that when she was alone. . .

  Tears coursed down her cheeks, but she no longer cared. She’d let Jed lighten her darkened soul, and that was the worst thing she could have possibly done. He’d somehow made her feel. . .what? If only she knew.

  She wasn’t capable of love, that much she knew. But that didn’t explain why she ached so deeply for him or why it felt as though her heart were bleeding.

  “Lucy?” Jed pulled away, frowning at her tears. “What’s this about?”

  She shook her head, dashing tears away with the back of her hand. “Nothing,” she lied.

  “It’s not nothing.” Worry clouded the depths of his eyes – those same eyes that begged for her lips just seconds before. He took her hand and led her back to their corner of the barn where he sat on the straw pile and pulled her onto his lap. “What is it?”

  What could she say? It was so simple, yet it couldn’t have been more complicated. She wanted nothing more than to stay where she was right at that moment, wrapped in his arms, safe from everything – and everyone. But that was the one thing she couldn’t have.

  Would an eternity in Hell be any worse than a future without Jed Caine?

  Jed tipped her chin up. His touch, so gentle, so tender, nearly killed her. She closed her eyes again, and tried to focus.

  She’d come here for a reason. She’d picked up buffalo chips and worn ugly ragged dresses. She’d even learned how to cook. Sort of. All because she wanted her freedom.

  No, she couldn’t go back to Hell. She’d never survive. But she couldn’t explain any of this to Jed. Jed who cared for her and who probably loved her, though she’d not given him the chance to say so. Not yet.

  No, not yet.

  “Lucy.” How could a man of his size speak so softly?

  Lucy chewed her bottom lip, blinking back more tears. She had to do this. Jed would make love to her, he’d tell her he loved her, and it would be done. She’d have memories of him to get her through the rest of her mortal life. Memories of his touch, his smell, and the way he looked at her with such. . .Lucy swallowed hard. . .such passion.

  The memories would have to be enough.

  “There’s something I need to tell you,” she whispered.

  His only response was a slight nod.

  “I’m, um…” She caught his eye briefly, then looked away. She didn’t want to see his face when she told him. “I’m not who you think I am.”

  He shifted her slightly in his lap, but only so he could tuck her hair away from her face.

  “Then tell me who you are.”

  The tiny corner closed in around them. The air felt more like smoke as it entered her lungs, and smelled of. . .fear. Her fear.

  She swallowed hard and forced herself to look at him. “I may have misled you.”

  His expression hardened slightly, and his fingers froze against her hair, but after a second, he nodded for her to continue.

  Breathe.

  “I. . .I’m not sure. . .” She stopped, chewed her lip again, then cast a glance down at the straw tick. “I mean I’ve not. . .”

  The heat that raced over her skin would surely explode out of her any second.

  Jed frowned in confusion, glanced at the tick, then gaped. His eyes flew wide and his mouth fell open.

  “You--but--you--” He blinked hard, then licked his lips. “Oh my God - you’re a virgin?”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  “No,” Lucy released a long breath. “But you probably believe I’ve had more. . .experience. . .than I actually have.”

  Jed shook his head slowly. “But you. . .I mean, you made me think--” His frown deepened, his hand stilled against her back. “Why?”

  “Does it matter?” She twisted her fingers in her lap, wishing he’d kiss her again – or at least stop looking at her like that.

  “No.” He shook his head. “I mean yes, dammit, it matters.”

  She dared to glance up at him, and the confusion on his face brought more t
ears to her eyes.

  “Why does it matter?” she asked. “You said it yourself – that lust and passion wouldn’t be a problem between us.” Lucy lifted her shoulder in a small shrug. “I’m sure I can learn whatever it takes to make you happy.”

  Jed’s chin fell to his chest as a long growl erupted from within him.

  “Good God, Lucy.” He jammed his fingers through his hair. “You scared the hell out of me.”

  “I’m sorry.” She’d never been sorry before. She’d said it plenty of times, but she’d never meant it until now.

  “How many men?” The vein in his temple throbbed menacingly.

  “One. One horrible time with one horrible man.”

  Was that relief she saw? Too soon, it was gone.

  “You lied to me again.” His voice was raw, and when he looked at her, his eyes were like summer storm clouds.

  “No, I didn’t.” She shook her head and twisted on his lap, which drew another ragged groan from him. “I never said I’d been with other men. You just assumed.”

  “I--” Jed’s mouth fell open. “You’re the one who. . .I mean, the things you said. . .the way you--”

  Lucy slid her fingers through his and held them in her lap. “I wanted you from the minute I saw you, Jed, that’s the truth.”

  “Why didn’t you just tell me?” He stilled her trembling hands in his. “Why make me believe something about you that isn’t true? Especially something like this!”

  Lucy shrugged. Lie upon lie had gotten her to this point. She didn’t dare add another to the pile.

  “I was scared.”

  “Of what?” Jed rasped. “Good God, Lucy – do you know what I’ve been thinking all this time? Wondering how many men you’ve been with, what they did to you, where they touched you.” He growled again, lower this time, and clenched his jaw until every muscle in his face was taut and rigid.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered again. “But you’d already told me I wasn’t what you wanted in a wife.”

  He opened his mouth to interrupt, but she silenced him with a shake of her head. “I was too skinny, too pretty, and not nearly strong enough for what you wanted.”