A jolt of pain shot through his leg, probably from all the walking after weeks in his Emporium cage. Will gritted his teeth, trying not to let anything show on his face. A world run by damn doctors, and yet he was forced to suffer with a busted leg because of some stupid genetic test. Yeah, he wasn’t going to let his new life blind him to the injustices of his existence.
Once the pain subsided, he bit into his sandwich. The salty ham, soft bread, crunchy lettuce, sweet tomato, and creamy mayo danced on his tongue. No, he wouldn’t let himself be blinded, but there was no point in not enjoying what he had while he had it.
6
Six
“Hey, Will, you wanna play tennis or something?” Nick threw his left arm over Will’s shoulder as they left the kitchen.
“No, thanks.”
“Or we could swim if your leg’s hurting.”
“My leg’s fine,” Will snapped. “I just want to explore in the library some.” A dull throb persisted, but Will wasn’t about to start using his leg as an excuse. That’s just what the Geneticists wanted: to prove that Zeds were physically inferior. No one got to say Will was inferior. His little act of defiance was invisible to the world, but it made him feel better.
“Aww, don’t tell me you’re another boring type. We already have Syrus for that.”
“I heard that. Stop pestering the boy, Nick. Reading wouldn’t do you any harm.”
“Yeah it would. I’d wither away. Besides, I have too much energy to sit still.”
“That you do. I remember a time when I had that kind of energy. You might as well enjoy it while it lasts.”
Before Will could tell Nick he’d join him some other time, Nick ran off. “Hey, Stuart, wait up.”
“I was heading to the library myself. Mind keeping an old, boring, blind man company?” Syrus took Nick’s vacated spot.
“Not at all.” Will would have preferred to be alone, but he wasn’t about to turn away a blind man, especially one who had been so nice to him.
Syrus held on to Will’s arm as they walked. “How are you liking it so far?”
“It’s good.”
“They tend to forget what it was like before—what it’s like to really be a Zed—but they know. You don’t have to pretend everything’s normal. This place is madder than those carnivals the Betas take their kids to.”
Will couldn’t help smiling. “I was starting to think you’d all been brainwashed by the Alpha.”
Syrus laughed. “Malcolm? No. I won’t lie to you and act like you’ll ever actually get to know Malcolm. No one does. Well, except Kaleana, but that’s what you’d expect from a childhood companion. He’s an enigma. But I will tell you one thing. Sometimes I think he somehow knows more than any other Alpha I’ve met what it’s like to be a Zed. He’s not fooling us or himself. That’s for certain.”
“How do you know?”
“There’s something about him. A feeling. You know how you can spot a Zed without even seeing his collar?”
“I’m sure you can, but I’m not blind, Syrus.”
Syrus swatted him with his other hand. “Sure you can. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
Will knew. It was a sense of a deep, dark pain. A pain that was always there but that no Zed ever really talked about. The pain of living in a world that considered them less than human. Will wrestled with it every day, as if the world were pinning him down to discard him, and he constantly struggled, screaming that he was real.
Syrus continued. He had his answer. “Malcolm’s the same way.”
“The man who walked into Emporium and bought me did not look like he was in pain,” Will scoffed. If it were anyone other than Syrus, a man who had stayed alive long enough to earn any Zed’s respect, Will would have been insulted at the insinuation that any Alpha had even an inkling of what it was like to be a Zed.
“Probably not. Then again, you weren’t really in the best situation to notice things. Once your sight is taken from you, you have no choice. From the day I met Malcolm, I’ve gotten the same feeling from him that I do from Zeds.”
Will tried to reconcile what Syrus told him with the image he had of Malcolm. It wasn’t working. “How did you lose your sight?”
“The Alpha who owned me before Malcolm thought I’d seen something I shouldn’t have and decided to teach me a lesson with a vial of acid.”
Will winced. That was an entirely different level of cruelty than the one that dictated Will couldn’t get medical treatment for his leg. At least his deformity came from an accident. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. Wasn’t your fault. I was always too perceptive for my own good, and I could never hide it. I hadn’t actually seen anything, but I had noticed too much. I had forgotten the fundamental truth that Alphas don’t want us to be human, only human-like enough to entertain them.”
Will snorted. “The bastards think we can change to suit their mood, as if our humanity can be turned on and off like a fucking light whenever they say.”
“Of course. That’s what they buy us for. You don’t buy something you can’t control.”
Yet Malcolm had bought all of them and hadn’t expressed any desire to exercise control. Will opened the library door.
“Why don’t you take me over to the sofa? I like the feel of the sunlight coming through the window.”
There was a sitting area by some of the largest bay windows Will had ever seen. All the furniture in the room was made of light brown leather. As they sat, Will could see what Syrus loved about the room. The rain from earlier had blown over during lunch, and the sun warmed his skin. The scent of leather surrounded him. He could picture curling up in this spot all day.
Once Syrus was comfortable, he picked up where he had left off. “My last Alpha was insecure. He had his own issues to work out, and he took them out on me. I couldn’t understand how an Alpha could be insecure.”
“They all want more of everything. They’re never happy unless they’ve consumed and torn up everything in their vicinity.” Will didn’t temper the bitterness in his voice.
“Maybe. It’s more than that though. You say they want us to deny our humanity, but it seems you want to deny them theirs.”
“That’s hardly the same thing. They force us to act one way. Their issues are brought on by themselves.”
“Ah, good argument. You’re quick, Will. I was wondering if you’d catch the difference. But don’t we have our own issues to work out?”
“My issue is that I’m a Zed, and it’s fucking unfair. The only people who can change that are the Alphas and the Geneticists.”
Syrus nodded. “I felt the same way when I first came here. I think we all did. We’ve spent our whole lives running, fighting for our lives to be acknowledged in a world that is simply waiting for our genetic code to die off. Then we get here, and the running stops. You’ll realize it soon. And when you do, there’s only one place left for you to look, and that’s inside.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I feel sorry for the man who did this to me. He still has the same something inside him that made him pour acid into another human being’s eyes. Meanwhile, I’m here. I’ve been given the time to come to peace with myself and the world.”
“Really? So you accept that you’re less than the Betas and Alphas?”
“I’m not less than them, Will, and neither are you. Malcolm and the Betas here don’t treat us that way.”
“Yeah, well, this isn’t reality.”
Syrus’s chuckle surprised him.
“Yes and no. I can see your point, but I think your perspective on a lot of things will change with time. You’re young, and I bet that anger is a sign of your passion. There’s a lot you can do here, Will. Passion is a good thing. I’m interested to see where you let it take you. But enough of that for now. You’re much too kind, indulging the ramblings of an old man. Did you have an idea of what you want to read?”
Will was grateful for the ch
ange of topic. The feelings Syrus had stirred in him were uncomfortable at best. Maybe he was right, and Will kept pushing his feelings aside, never analyzing them, just running to the next thing. “I really have no idea. I’ve never seen this many paper books. What’s in them all? Are they like the books you can get on a tab?”
“Sure. Of course, paper books are older, so the stories won’t have any of the latest technologies. Most of the books in here are quite old. Many of them were originally published before the Great Destruction. Malcolm’s something of a collector.”
Will looked at the shelves upon shelves of books, as if he would somehow see something he was looking for. No one really knew just how long ago the Great Destruction had happened. Somewhere along the way, the knowledge had simply been lost. It was ironic that their entire society was built around restoring humans to their pre-Great Destruction state, but so little was known about that time. It had always fascinated Will. What had people been like? They couldn’t have been much like him. That’s why he was a Zed, because his genetics weren’t close enough to the pure form. He knew some Alphas had their own little ways of trying to bring back the past, but he had never seen so much knowledge from then in one place, except for at a museum he’d visited as Lewis’s companion.
“Do you know how to read?”
“Yes, but I’ve never read a whole book.”
“You can use your Glass Tab to read aloud if you need to. Did you bring any earbuds?”
Will’s face fell. He hadn’t even thought to go back to his room for some. “No.”
“Don’t worry. There are some in the upper far right drawer of the card catalogue. You can take them with you.”
“Thanks.”
“Try out a few different things. There’s an array of genres in here. You’ll find something you like. Now, would you mind getting me the book on the coffee table?”
Will retrieved the book from the table in front of the sofa. He opened it to the bookmarked page and set it in Syrus’s lap, who had been getting his Glass Tab out and putting in his earbuds. “Thank you. If you need anything, just ask.”
Will was beginning to think that was this place’s motto. “Ditto.”
Syrus settled into the sofa, listening to his book while looking out the window as if he could see the lawn and clouds and sky. Will went to look at the shelves. He wasn’t going to bother with the card catalogue. He didn’t really know how to use it, and he wasn’t about to ask for help. He grabbed two earbuds from the drawer, paired them to his tab, and placed them in his ears. The little cushions expanded in his ears to form a perfect fit, unlike the bare earbuds he’d used in the past. They were scarcely detectable.
Will perused the shelves. The titles meant nothing to him, so he relied on his gut. He pulled a few books from the shelves and, if he liked the covers, had his Glass Tab read the first pages to him. He put several back but carried a stack of three to one of the large overstuffed leather chairs by the windowed alcove. Syrus leaned his head back, eyes closed.
Will’s three books were from different shelves. He wasn’t sure how the library was organized, but he figured different shelves would have different subjects. This way, he had a better chance of some variety. He placed his Glass Tab over the first full page of text and leaned back. “Alice was beginning to get very tired…”
7
Seven
Will’s days settled into a steady rhythm. Shower, breakfast, spend time with some of the boys, lunch, and then reading until dinner. Syrus always joined him, but they rarely talked. There was a shared camaraderie in their love for the library. Despite their silence, Will felt the closest to Syrus, as if they shared a secret the others didn’t understand.
His life was perfect, everything he had never thought to hope for as a Zed. Even in his secret dreamings of a world where he was equal, he had never imagined an existence that was so full of enjoyment. Whenever he’d dreamt, it was always of being a regular, working-class man. Days filled with hard work that paid in money and satisfaction. A modest home, maybe even a family some day. But that was all nonsense, more so than the books he read and more so than a world where a Zed was allowed to lounge around all day and be waited on by Betas.
The only thing that marred the wonderfulness that was his life was a chair. One simple chair cast a shadow over everything. The pressure built steadily with every meal. Each day, glances were cast his way. He didn’t need to ask. He knew what they were thinking. “What is it about the new freak that disgusts our Alpha so much?” Will didn’t have an answer for them. He wished he did.
“Let’s all head down to the beach today. The weather’s great. I bet the water is the perfect temperature.” Tony looked around at the others, seeking consensus.
“Sounds good to me. Doesn’t that sound good to you, Stu?” Nick encouraged Stu to speak when all he did was nod.
“Y-y-y-yeah. D-d-do you think Ma-Ma-Malcolm would c-c-c-come?”
The glances again.
“Why don’t we ask him?” Nick looked at Tony. Will didn’t think he genuinely thought it would make a difference, but it was an easy way to appease Stu.
“If he’s not eating with us, it’s because he’s busy. If he had time to go to the beach, he’d be here with us now.” Tony’s voice was gentle, but it didn’t make Will feel any better.
“W-w-why doesn’t he e-e-eat with us any m-m-m-ore?”
“He’s busy.” Tony tried to rest a hand on Stu’s, but Stu jerked away at the touch.
“Bullshit.” This time the glances were gone. All six pairs of eyes focused on him. “You all say he usually ate at least one meal a day with you and spent time with you. Then I showed up, and he hasn’t made an appearance for two weeks. He’s not busy, and we all know it. I know you’re trying to spare my feelings, but don’t. I’m the reason. He’s here. He rarely leaves. Right, Rufus?” Will made sure he faced Rufus for the last few lines, so he’d get a clear read of his lips.
“He’s had a few meetings.”
“One. He’s had one meeting that took him away during mealtime.” That night, Kaleana had eaten with them. Will had harbored a small hope that it was a sign that things would improve, but they hadn’t. “You don’t need to hide how upset you are from me. I know you wish he were here.” Will didn’t share their wish. If it were up to him, he’d never see Malcolm again, but the boys seemed to have some sort of attachment to him. It was too difficult for him to reconcile his good fortune with the cold man who had provided it. He was grateful for what Malcolm had done, but he couldn’t imagine having any other feelings for the man.
“Of course we wish he were here, but we don’t always get what we want, do we boys? I’ll not tolerate complainin’ like we’re spoiled Alpha brats. Malcolm will join us if and when he’s ready. Until then, it’s none of our business.” Carson’s firm tone ended all discussion, but Will still noticed the longing in the others’ eyes whenever they looked at that empty chair.
A couple of hours after lunch, they headed to the beach. It was the first time Will had been there since Carson had shown it to him. The weather had been too erratic lately to make an earlier outing feasible. The sun shone one moment only to be overtaken by storm clouds the next. Not today. The sky was clear blue in every direction. The air was warm and thick with salt. Every bit of skin was touched in some way by the ocean. His toes curled in the sand. The foamy tide encircled his ankles before heading back out to sea.
“Come on, Will. The water’s perfect.”
Nick’s rambunctious tone pulled him from his reverie. The others were all in to their waists or higher, except for Syrus who sat on a partially submerged beach chair, his face to the sky. Slowly, Will walked into the tide, savoring the feel of the water as it gradually overtook him. The swim trunks he had found in his room fit perfectly, as did all the clothes provided for him. He supposed Kaleana had gotten his measurements from his file.
“Come on, lad. That’s not how you enter the ocean.” Carson pulled him in to where the rest o
f the boys were. Without his shirt, Carson’s burn scars were vivid on his chest. Will marveled that Carson didn’t show a hint of self-consciousness.
A little twinge of worry tugged at the back of Will’s mind. The waves and current pushed and pulled at his body. If he lost his footing, it could mean trouble with only one steady leg. Lewis had held him under water once when he was a child, and the helpless fear was as vivid now as it had been that day.
Stu broke through the surface of the water right in front of Will. “We wo-wo-won’t l-l-l-let you drown.”
“Stu’s a regular fish. Don’t ask us where he learned it.” Tony good-naturedly dunked Stu back under the water. When he surfaced again, Stu laughed.
“Rufus is here!” Nick splashed Will on his way to the shore. “Come on.”
Rufus pulled up on the beach in one of the little property rovers. Nick was almost to him. Stu whooped and jumped on Will’s back. Just as quickly, he catapulted off of Will, stood, and took Will’s hand, dragging him along. Will couldn’t contain his laughter. For the first time in his life, he felt something resembling freedom.
When they reached Rufus, Nick was pulling some boards in all different colors out of the back of the vehicle, and Stu rushed to join him. Tony placed his left hand on Will’s shoulder, and Will turned to him.
“You ever been bodyboarding?”
“No, never even heard of it.”
“You’re in for a treat then. The waves are perfect for it today.”
“Here you go, Will.” Rufus handed him a bright red board.
Will took the lightweight board, not sure what he was meant to do with it. “Thanks.”
Rufus nodded and handed a blue board to Tony, which required that he take his hand off of Will’s shoulder.
[In Distress 01.0] In Distress Page 5
