“Have you told them yet?” He walked down to the kitchen with Kaleana.
“No.”
“Didn’t want to get their hopes up if I didn’t follow through?” He saw Kaleana’s lips twitch. “It was the right choice.”
When they reached the kitchen, everyone else was already there, standing around while Marcy finished preparing the last of the sandwiches.
They all turned to see Malcolm enter. He surveyed the food and then looked at Stu. “What do you say we pack up the food and take it to the beach?”
“R-R-R-Really?”
“Yes. Do I ever lie?” It didn’t elude Malcolm that most of his life was a lie. He made a point, though, to never directly lie to his Zeds. It was essential to their security that they trust him. He would give them no reason not to.
“No.”
“Woo-hoo!” Nick raised his right arm in the air, unselfconscious about the fact that his hand was missing. Little gestures like that warmed Malcolm’s heart. What he desired most was to return a sense of self-worth to these Zeds who had been thrown away by society.
“Go get changed, then.”
Stu and Nick ran out of the kitchen.
“Rufus?” Malcolm put a hand on Rufus’s shoulder to get his attention. He waited until Rufus focused on his lips. “Why don’t you and Tony pack up the car and take it down? I believe Kaleana may have prepared some of the stuff already.”
“Yes, I’ve got some towels from the laundry and some blankets. I’ll pack up the food while you change.” Kaleana was already grabbing a picnic basket.
“And take Syrus with you.”
“I can walk with the rest of you just fine, Malcolm.”
“I know.” Malcolm took Syrus by the shoulders, looking into his vacant eyes. “But I worry about you managing that path. One stone in the wrong spot, and you’d go tumbling. I’d rather not risk it.”
“All right. But you do know I walk it when you’re not around.”
“And that’s bad enough. You’re my responsibility.”
“I haven’t had a fall in years, but you make the rules.”
“Thank you.” Malcolm nodded to Tony as he left with Syrus. Carson and Will followed without a word. He hoped Will would be able to enjoy himself.
Stuart and Nick must have raced. By the time Malcolm ambled out to the patio where the path began, they were waiting.
“It’s a perfect day for the beach. I bet the waves are amazing. You want to go surfing with me, Stu?” Nick gave Stu his full attention, encouraging him to speak with every bit of his body language.
“Sure.”
“I wonder what boards Rufus and Tony are going to bring for us. You should see Stu on a longboard, Malcolm. He stays up longer than any of us. I’m trying to convince him to try a shortboard. I bet he’d be great at it. Can you imagine with all that coordination he’s got from those virtual games? He’d probably learn how to do some great tricks.”
“I’m sure he’d do well.”
Stu beamed at the faith. Nick was excellent at getting him out of his shell. None of them knew how much of Stu’s stutter was a confidence issue. Malcolm had no idea why his approval meant so much to Stu. Nick was his real hero. Zeds were trained from birth to revere Alphas, to orbit their lives around the Alpha who owned them. Malcolm supposed that training was too ingrained to ever completely go away.
Nick continued to chatter, coaxing replies from Stu. Carson and Will came outside a few minutes later.
“All right, Malcolm. That’s all of us. The others will probably beat us there with the vehicles.”
They started down the path together. Malcolm tried not to pay too much attention to Will. However, he couldn’t help the worry that nagged at him every time Will stumbled or shuffled a little too much. He would have preferred Will ride in one of the vehicles, but he knew better than to mention it. With all his anger and pride, Will wouldn’t suffer lightly what he’d perceive as a condescending suggestion.
When they came in sight of the beach, Rufus and the others were already there, blankets spread out on the sand and baskets of food unpacked. Surfboards of varying lengths were off to the side along with a beach ball.
“What took you guys so long?” Tony called as they made their way down the last of the path.
Malcolm noticed a little color enter Will’s cheeks. He had no doubt Tony hadn’t meant anything by it. “My fault. I’m not used to stretching my legs.” Indeed, he had taken the rear position on their walk. He liked being able to see the others.
“Spending all day at a desk will do that to you. Even that Alpha physique of yours can’t hold up with all work and no play. It’s time you let your Zeds relax you.”
Again, Malcolm’s eyes sought out Will. His gaze shifted with a slight nervousness.
“Just knowing you’re all in the house enjoying yourselves is enough for me.” Once the rocky path faded into sand, Malcolm kicked off his flip-flops and went to sit on one of the blankets. The boys had naturally taken up their usual spots, as if they were at the dining room table. A clear vacancy waited at the head with Kaleana on his right. They were already eating the sandwiches, potato salad, and coleslaw Marcy and Jess had prepared for them. Their attention on the food made it easy to hide his wince as he sat down and adjusted to the welts that cried out at the pressure.
He thought he felt Will looking at him a few times, but every time he turned to catch him, his gaze had moved. He seemed to be enjoying himself, talking to Carson. Good. The weather was perfect, the food delicious, and they were all eager for some fun after the last few days. They deserved it. Will most of all.
“It looks like the tide is coming in. Let’s go surf. May we be excused?” Nick looked to Malcolm. The conversation had slowed with the pace of eating. There was hardly a scrap of food left.
Malcolm nodded. Nick shot up, pulling Stuart with him.
“You coming, Carson?” Rufus stood and watched for the reply.
Carson shook his head. “Nah, after a meal like that, I’m too lazy to get up and do anythin’.”
“All right. Come on, Will.”
There was a flash of surprise on Will’s face as he scrambled to his feet. He followed Rufus to the stack of surfboards. Nick and Stuart were already running with two shortboards into the ocean.
“Be careful.” Malcolm wanted to forbid Will from even trying to stand up on a board with his twisted leg, but that would only guarantee he would try. Perhaps at some point Will would give up his defensive nature, but until then, Malcolm had to do his best for Will, even if it meant reining in his protective instincts.
Of course, Rufus couldn’t hear Malcolm’s call, but Tony picked up on his concern. He caught up with Will and Rufus, handing them each a bodyboard. Rufus didn’t particularly care for surfing anyway, so Tony didn’t even have to say anything to convince him. Rufus smiled at Malcolm before heading into the water. He understood.
Malcolm started to pack the dishes back into the basket, confident that Rufus would keep an eye on Will.
“Let me get that. You hardly give us a chance to serve you.” Tony returned from the vehicle and took the plate Malcolm held. “Relax. You work too hard. It’s nice to do something for you for a change.”
Malcolm settled himself on one of the loungers while Tony’s back was turned so he wouldn’t see the stiffness of his movement. There was no need for Tony to serve him, and he would really prefer he didn’t, but Tony enjoyed serving. It made him feel useful, and it was the way he felt most comfortable expressing his love. That was the only reason Malcolm permitted it. If he thought for a moment that Tony felt obligated to serve him because he was an Alpha, he’d put a stop to it.
He reached over to the lounger next to him and grabbed Kaleana’s Glass Tab out of her hands, pocketing it. “If I can’t work, neither can you.”
“That’s hardly fair.”
“Explain.”
“Don’t, Malcolm. There’s nothing wrong with me checking on some things. Lunch is over. I�
��m not taking time away from the boys.”
“If I’m not working, you’re not. This is family time. I’ll return it when we get back to the office and not a moment sooner, so you might as well enjoy yourself. In fact, why don’t you go get in the water? There’s no reason for you not to.”
Kaleana appraised him. Malcolm could only imagine the earful she wanted to give him. He didn’t care. There was a little satisfaction in knowing she couldn’t check on her work if he couldn’t. “All right. Holler if you need anything.”
“I’m sure we can manage without you for a little while. Have fun.”
Without another word, she removed her cover-up and ran into the ocean, picking up a longboard on her way. She might not get as much time in the water as the others, but she was a natural on the waves. It seemed she excelled at everything she did. Malcolm envied her that ability. It took him months to master skills that only took her weeks, even days in some cases.
“Mind if an old blind man joins you?” Syrus seated himself in the lounger on Malcolm’s left. Carson sat on Syrus’s other side. “There must be a lot on your mind. I can practically hear the creases in your forehead. It’d be a shame to age that face prematurely.”
“How do you know? Wrinkles might be an improvement.”
“No, I might not be able to see, but my hands don’t lie. You have the same smooth skin as all the Alphas I saw when I had my sight. Care to share what’s on your mind?”
“No.”
“I know when I’ve stumbled upon something I shouldn’t have. Taking my sight didn’t cure me of it.”
Cold air flooded Malcolm’s chest. The mere thought that someone could have done something so cruel sickened him. “You have a gift. Only a fool wouldn’t appreciate that.”
“A gift for bringing up things that should be left secret.”
“No, perhaps I should speak about it. Kaleana tries to get me to often enough.”
“What stops you?”
“I look around at her, you, at all of you, and I’m reminded how lucky I am. Nothing can trouble me when I have you around me.”
“That’s a beautiful sentiment. Doesn’t keep you from worrying, though.”
Syrus was perhaps the easiest of the boys for Malcolm to talk to. He possessed an infinite patience that made confiding in him effortless. Tony sat on Malcolm’s right, watching the boys surf with Kaleana. Carson had his eyes closed, appearing as if he might be asleep. The sun warmed Malcolm’s skin without being oppressive. A few clouds floated lazily in the sky. Laughter danced in the air, mingling with the gentle roar of the ocean as it slithered up the sand and then retreated. An ideal day. Malcolm didn’t want to mar it by being cagey.
“No, it doesn’t. I don’t think anything could keep me from worrying, not when we live in the world we do.”
“Ah, saving the world are you? That’s a tall order. No wonder you don’t have time to spend with us anymore.”
“You don’t have to see all those poor people at Emporium.”
“Neither do you.” Carson spoke without opening his eyes.
“Yes, I do.”
“Of course. You can’t save the world, so you’ll save one of us instead.” A slight hint of pity lurked behind the seriousness of Syrus’s tone.
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to. We may not know what it is you do, Malcolm—and we don’t need to—but we all know you’re one of the good ones. You wouldn’t tolerate us if you weren’t.”
“We all love you, Malcolm. We wish you’d let us shoulder some of your burdens.” Tony took Malcolm’s hand in his, massaging his palm. The gentle pressure, the warmth of human contact, relaxed something inside Malcolm he hadn’t even realized was tense.
“I know, Tony. Kaleana reminds me every day. But you’ve all been through enough for ten lifetimes. You’ve earned some respite. All I need from you is for you to be happy.”
Tony’s lips grazed Malcolm’s palm. The gesture touched him more than he would ever admit. “We are happy. All of us. More than we could have ever thought possible.”
“The garden is looking good. I don’t know how you manage to keep it perpetually in bloom.”
“Oh, it’s easy when you have all day to devote to it.”
Kaleana’s high-pitched squeal filled the air as Stuart tossed her into the water. Surfing had been abandoned. They were now paddling around on their boards, trying to knock each other off. He needed to remember how carefree she sounded. Despite his numerous entreaties that she spend time with the boys, she only ever left his side to attend to her responsibilities. He’d even tried ordering it. Much good that did. She’d simply lifted an eyebrow and continued right on as if she hadn’t heard him.
“Come on, Carson. I think we might need to referee.” Tony jumped up, headed for the water.
“All right. I’m gettin’ too old for this. It ain’t enough that I survived this long, now I got to go keep these foolish young’uns from drownin’ each other.” Carson winked at Malcolm as he passed. His good-natured grumbling was comforting. Malcolm couldn’t imagine life without it, just as he couldn’t imagine being without Tony’s caring presence, or Rufus’s steady, methodical way, or Nick’s carefree rambunctiousness that infected everyone around him. He needed all of his boys. They were more his family than any blood relation ever had been.
“How is Will adjusting?”
“As well as can be expected.” There was no condemnation in Syrus’s voice, but Malcolm felt it anyway.
“I normally have a much closer eye on new arrivals.”
“Don’t worry yourself over it. We’ve got a handle on him. He’s got so much anger in him that he’d probably just lash out at you if you were around.”
“He’s not being aggressive with any of you, is he?” Malcolm could handle Will’s anger. He deserved it, if not directly, then because he was part of the system that had marginalized him and all the other Zeds throughout history. But he wouldn’t tolerate any violence against the others.
“No, not at all. We’re Zeds. It’s not us he has a problem with. Besides, he spends so much energy being angry at the Alphas that there isn’t enough left for him to be mad at anyone else.”
“Sometimes I think it’d be better if I stayed away.”
“Well now, that’s foolishness. You’re the cornerstone of this place, Malcolm. He may not like it now, but he needs you around. We all do. Without you, we’re all just hiding from the Alphas, playing at being safe and happy. With you, though, we know we’re safe. You’re what makes this whole thing work.”
“I’ve seen him coming and going from the library.”
Syrus smiled with fondness. “Yes, he spends most of his time there with me.”
“Does he know how to read?”
“Yes, but not very well. He uses his tab to read aloud to him a lot.”
“Does he talk to you?”
“Not much. He seems to do a lot of thinking. Sometimes I wonder if the books are just an excuse to be alone with his thoughts, kind of like Stu and that blasted theater room. Or maybe they’re giving him something to think about. Who knows? He seems content enough. Time will temper him. I can’t wait to see what happens when he realizes he can direct his passion toward something other than anger.”
Malcolm had similar thoughts. “You think that will ever happen?”
“Oh, yes. He’s got the fire of youth. It’s not his fault that he’s never had an opportunity to let it burn for anything other than anger.”
Malcolm watched as Will laughed with the others. He couldn’t separate the sound of his happiness from the cacophony of laughter, whoops, and hollers coming from the ocean. The sound lifted his soul. He hoped, in time, happiness would turn to joy.
After an hour or so, they all came straggling out of the water and collapsed on chairs and loungers. A drowsy lull filled the air as they all relaxed, allowing the sun to dry them. A few snores escaped here and there. A perfect day.
Malcolm’s Glass Tab v
ibrated in his pocket. They were pretty much done, so he didn’t see the harm in checking to make sure it wasn’t something urgent. He pulled the tab from his pocket and opened the message.
“You’re welcome. I’m sorry it didn’t turn out as well as it could have. It’ll be better next time.”
Malcolm leaned forward and looked down the row of chairs to see Will lying with his eyes closed and a cheeky grin on his face.
Next time? Of all the things he had expected, that hadn’t even entered his mind. How many times could Will possibly surprise him? It was madness, though, and he wasn’t going to indulge it. He shifted in his seat, a wave of delicious pain radiating through him. Oh, he wanted it again, badly. But it wasn’t about him and his wants. He couldn’t put Will through that again. It wasn’t fair. Besides, that beating had drawn out feelings toward Will that Malcolm hadn’t thought really existed. It felt wrong encouraging those feelings when Will did not reciprocate, like taking advantage of him. The whole thing was one big hornet’s nest best left undisturbed.
“While I appreciate what you did, I’m afraid there won’t be a next time. You have shown your gratitude. I don’t require that service.”
“We’ll see about that.”
The heat from his backside flared, curling around him. Anticipation and fear held him in equal measure. Will could either be the greatest thing that ever happened to him or a curse that would destroy him. At the moment, it was hard to care.
18
Eighteen
The dark quiet of Malcolm’s room was peaceful. Will had asked to be excused from the lounge to go to bed. He’d been confident that Malcolm would let him leave after what had happened last night. Instead of making his way to his room, he came here. When he’d left the lounge, he hadn’t been entirely sure where he’d end up.
Plenty of doubts swarmed him over how he’d handled last night, but they had retreated as soon as he’d seen Malcolm today. It had been the right thing to do. Only his execution was off. He’d get better. He’d prove to Malcolm that he could do this, and perhaps he could lighten Malcolm’s load, even soften his permanent frown.
[In Distress 01.0] In Distress Page 13
