Malcolm’s trust in him brought with it an almost crushing responsibility. Yes, Will would be able to tell immediately. These days, Malcolm was easier to read than a book.
“All right. But if you’re wrong, and it’s not enjoyable, you’re getting the gel.”
“Fair enough.”
Will grabbed the suede flogger and the cane. The flogger he’d used enough to be confident, but he didn’t have the same experience with the cane. He quickly lowered his pants and flicked it three times on his right thigh, judging the pressure against the resulting marks. Damn thing stung worse than a wasp. He was convinced Malcolm’s skin was made of some different material than his. It was the only explanation as to why he’d possibly ask for the cane.
Satisfied, he pulled up his pants and went to the bed to find Malcolm in the position he wanted, waiting, his eyes making contact with Will’s to let him know he was ready. He felt the familiar surge of power that still overwhelmed him enter his body. The power to give Malcolm the pain he craved, to control the frequency and intensity, to elicit groans of pleasure and pleas for more on the heels of strangled gasps. The power to comfort and protect. All of it was intoxicating. It was as if everything else melted away, even his deformed leg. In the moment, it was just him and Malcolm in a sublime dance of erotic pleasure. He’d been surprised to find that he enjoyed inflicting pain almost as much as Malcolm enjoyed receiving it. Almost, because while Malcolm enjoyed the pain for the pain’s sake, Will only derived his pleasure from providing for Malcolm’s.
He used the flogger until Malcolm’s eyes glazed over and closed. He was flying pretty high, but the bite from the flogger wasn’t sharp or deep enough to take him to the edge. Will ran his hand over Malcolm’s enflamed skin, rubbing and squeezing. Malcolm didn’t even wince. A low groan came from his throat as his hips gyrated.
“I’m going to use the cane now.”
Malcolm’s eyes snapped open. There was a hint of surprise in them, but he knew that Will would demand he open them before proceeding. It was harder for Malcolm to hide what he was really feeling with his eyes open, and Will knew he’d try to pretend he liked it.
Will swung the cane a few times, adjusting to its weight. The flogger required a bit of force for Malcolm to really enjoy it. It was easy for Will to work up a sweat from long sessions of swinging it down on Malcolm’s skin. The cane would take hardly any muscle in comparison, more wrist than arm.
Malcolm didn’t jump at the light tap as Will lined up his aim. One quick strike, and a white line appeared. Malcolm shut his eyes and howled, but his hips moved frantically. His hand darted down to grab his cock. “One more.”
Will obliged and then turned Malcolm over a split second before he came. He watched in amazement as Malcolm’s cock spurted all over his chest. Malcolm’s knees, which had bent up when he was turned over, flopped down onto the bed, spent. His chest heaved with each breath, and his face eventually relaxed. A few seconds later, his eyes opened.
“Apparently I was wrong about the cane,” Will said.
“You can make anything work.” Malcolm’s lips formed a languid smile.
“You’re the one who knew to use the flogger first.”
Malcolm shrugged. “It was just an idea. Thanks for trying it. I’m sorry I came so fast. I didn’t expect to.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Will lay on the bed next to Malcolm, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. There’d been a few times that he’d been able to get Malcolm to orgasm from pain alone, but those had been planned. Most of the time, Malcolm liked to delay so they could come together.
Malcolm’s hand undid Will’s pants and began to tug them down. Will stopped him, covering his hand with his own. “Just relax. Enjoy the high.”
“I’ll enjoy it more with your cock in my mouth.”
Will doubted that, but the cock in question overruled his brain, and he nodded. He removed his shirt and lifted his hips so Malcolm could get his pants off. Then he lay back, closed his eyes, and waited for the warm pleasure of Malcolm’s mouth. He waited, but it never came.
“Will, what’s this?” Malcolm’s voice had lost its hazy, dreamlike quality. Will opened his eyes to find him sober and businesslike, a hint of danger in his eyes.
“What’s what?”
“These welts.” Malcolm’s hand was just below the three stripes from Will’s experiment with the cane. He pulled at the skin to test them but didn’t touch them directly. “Who hit you?”
“No one.”
“Someone did. Who did this? I’m not going to ask you again.”
Will sighed. Malcolm’s protective instinct overrode his common sense sometimes. “I did.”
“Why?”
“I always test everything I use on you.”
“What? I’ve never seen marks before.”
“That’s because I took care of it right after the package arrived, and we didn’t have sex until a few days later. They were all gone by then. It’s been a while since I used the cane, and I wasn’t that confident using it to begin with.”
“You hate pain.”
He shrugged. “I need to have some reference for how hard to strike.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Too bad. It’s not your choice. You want me to hit the man I love with something, you better damn well believe I’m going to use it on myself first.”
“You’re not very obedient for a Zed.”
“And you’re not very mean for an Alpha.”
Malcolm dipped his head and kissed the tip of Will’s cock. It was still semi-hard from earlier, and it quickly sprang to life. “You’re too good to me. Much too sweet.” Malcolm didn’t say anything else until he’d brought Will to climax.
Will loved being inside Malcolm any which way he could. Even though Malcolm assured him he didn’t mind anal after he orgasmed, Will refused. Malcolm might like it, but Will didn’t like inflicting that kind of pain. He’d had too many Alphas stick their pricks in him after they’d brought him to orgasm simply to be cruel. He couldn’t bring himself to do that to someone else, especially someone he loved. There weren’t too many people Will had ever loved in his life, and they all lived under this roof. He guarded the feeling.
When his orgasm had finished washing over him, he looked at Malcolm. “Thanks.”
“What kind of bastard would I be if I didn’t make sure you got off? Especially when you’re always so hard after beating me.”
Will bristled. He didn’t want Malcolm getting the wrong idea. “I don’t relish inflicting pain. It’s not that. It’s the look in your eyes, the raw yearning, as if you’re offering all of yourself to me and begging me not to despise you for it. The trust. That you find me worthy of it is both humbling and exhilarating at the same time. There’s a power I feel in that moment that I’ve never even glimpsed before.”
Malcolm’s eyes penetrated deep into Will. He understood. In his eyes, Will saw that he felt exactly what Will described, the yearning, the offering, the trust. Will caught his breath. It was one thing to have those feelings. It was another to know they shared them so intimately.
“Stop looking at me like that. Come here and let me hold you.” Will pulled the arm Malcolm supported his weight on until he had no choice but to concede and collapse onto Will’s chest. In these moments, after the sex, holding onto Malcolm as if to assure himself he hadn’t harmed him, Will felt closest to him. He liked the position because with Malcolm’s head on his shoulder or chest, he couldn’t see Will’s face and the intense feelings of love and protectiveness washing over him.
“So how was your day?” Will had to break the unbearably thick silence.
Malcolm chuckled. “Smooth.”
“I’m getting grief from you for not being open about my feelings? Really?”
“You know how my day was. Boring and full of work. I’d much rather hear about yours.”
“I read and played some virtual games with Stu and Rufus. Nothing really interesting.”
“
So we both lead boring lives by day and have intense sex at night.”
Will smiled. “Something like that I guess.”
“And what is it you read? I like to live vicariously through you.”
“It’s your library. You can come read whenever you want.”
“Not with work.”
Will shook his head. “You’re the only Alpha I’ve met who works so much. I’ve known Betas who work less. The ones you employ at this house for starters.”
“They earn their pay.”
“I’m not saying they don’t. If you ask me, they do far more than should be expected of a Beta, but that’s not the point. For a man of so few words, you sure do have a talent for steering the conversation.”
“Forgive me. You were scolding me?”
“Yes, and you should take it seriously. You need to spend more time relaxing.”
“Seems to me I’ve been spending a lot of time relaxing with you.” Malcolm used his finger to trace pleasant lines on Will’s chest.
“Non-naked relaxing.”
“Oh. Well, yes, I am quite deficient in that area. Describe to me this clothed relaxation you speak of.”
Will chuckled. He would have never imagined that humor could flow so freely between them. “The clothed relaxation can help the naked kind. How do you think I’ve learned so much so fast? It’s not like you’re a fountain of information. I’ve read or listened to most of the books you pointed out to me.”
“Really?”
“Well, I skimmed some of them. Anything that involved needles or other sharp things doesn’t apply. I’d be mortified if I ever drew blood beating you.”
“You’d smother me with attention afterward.”
“And probably insist I never strike your bare skin again.”
“That wouldn’t do.”
“No, so I’ve been learning what I can to make sure it doesn’t happen accidentally.”
Malcolm rolled onto his side, propping himself up with his arm to look at Will. “You can’t just be reading about inflicting pain. You spent hours in the library before you even started to like me.”
“Why don’t you tell me what you like to read? I’ve never seen so many paper books in one place.”
“I’ve loved them since I was a boy. It’s one of the things from before the Great Destruction that I wish we had preserved better. I’ve collected as many books from that time as I can.”
“And what started this love of books?”
“I came across an old one as a kid, pre-Great Destruction. There’s no digital copy of it anywhere. Probably the only physical copy of it in existence. I wish I still had it.”
“Why don’t you?”
“It belonged to a friend of my mother’s. I was so young, I don’t remember the title or much about it, but it was the story of a slave who fell in love with his master, and when it became clear that their relationship was hurting the long-term prospects of happiness for the master, the slave convinced him to sell him. I always wanted to have that kind of love, where I could wholeheartedly put the needs of another person before my own.”
“That sounds stupid.” Will couldn’t keep the incredulity from his face or voice.
Malcolm smiled. “What? Love should be selfish?”
“No, but that doesn’t mean it should be idiotic. If two people love each other, they make it work, whatever the cost.”
“And if the price is too high?”
“Then it wasn’t love.”
“I like that you think that way.”
“Are you sure that was the end of the story? He just gets sold?”
“Yes, it was the end. Love stories don’t always have happy endings, Will. We live our lives and do the best we can by the people we love.”
Will shook his head. “I think you’re wrong. You said it was probably the only copy of it left. I bet there was a sequel where they find their way back to each other.”
“I doubt it. The devotion of slave to master was beautiful in the end.” Malcolm’s eyes were soft, remembering that long-ago story. Will supposed it explained why he was so self-sacrificing in everything he did. It was his way of expressing his ideal of love.
“The rest of it was lost in the Great Destruction. For all you know, you’ve based your life on a story that has a completely different ending than the one you think it does.”
Malcolm smiled. “So love stories aren’t your genre. What do you read?”
“I read a little bit of everything. There’s a lot of interesting stuff in there.”
“Like what?”
Will reminded himself that he trusted Malcolm with his life. There was no reason he couldn’t be completely open with him. “I’ve been reading a lot of mythology. Did you know that before the Great Destruction, people used to make up stories to explain things they didn’t understand instead of relying on science?”
Malcolm stilled. It was barely perceptible, but Will had taught himself to notice. It was essential when he delivered pain. Surely Malcolm didn’t think he was getting away with it. “Yes, I did know that. It’s part of what led to the Great Destruction.”
“I thought it was something called religion.”
“Yes. What did you think religion was?”
“I don’t know. You hear a word long enough and it develops its own meaning. All I’ve ever known is that religion caused the Great Destruction and that it’s forbidden.”
“It is.”
“But it got me thinking, reading all those stories, that it reminds me of the Spark of Life Movement.”
“What do you know about the Spark of Life Movement?” A dangerous cold entered Malcolm’s voice, and he sat up, staring down at Will, not even appearing to try to hide the ice in his eyes.
“Besides what’s reported in the bulletins? Just that some Betas think the Geneticists don’t have all the answers, that there are some things science can’t explain, that the Spark of Life is what creates humans, and that’s why the Geneticists still haven’t fixed our DNA.”
“Have you spoken about this with anyone?”
“Just Syrus.”
“And what did he say?”
“That I shouldn’t talk about it, that it was probably best if I didn’t even think on it. I figured it’d be all right to talk to you about it. They’re just thoughts I’ve been having. I don’t know much about it. ”
“Keep it that way. I don’t want you talking to anyone, not the boys, not the Betas, not even Kaleana about this.”
The harsh reprimand puzzled Will. What happened to being able to talk to each other? “All right.”
“I’m serious, Will.”
“So am I. You don’t have to forbid it. Your asking is enough.”
“That sort of talk is dangerous. The Geneticists have outlawed it. Surely you know that.”
“Yeah, but I don’t see any Geneticists here. We’re in the privacy of your bedroom.”
“Some things are too dangerous to speak about even in private.”
“If religion is forbidden, why do you have so many books on mythology?”
Malcolm didn’t speak for a few seconds, and when he did, his voice had a slight strain to it, as if he had to work hard to keep it level. “To serve as a reminder. Our ancestors let their foolish beliefs stand in the way of science, and they paid the price.”
“Well, I wish others took your stance. I think it’s better to be informed, let people know what religion was and why it was so bad so they can stay away from it. How can we prevent it from forming again if we don’t know what it was? Maybe if people understood what the Spark of Life Movement is, they wouldn’t let it take hold.”
“Where have you seen it take hold?”
“Nowhere. I’ve only ever heard whispers of it outside of official bulletins, but I don’t know of anyone who believes it.”
“You must tell me if you ever hear anyone in the compound speaking about it.”
“You want me to snitch?”
“It’s dangerous, Will.
I can’t have it here. If the Geneticists find out I’m tolerating that kind of talk in my compound, it could ruin everything.”
“It’s another business concern, right? Are you really prepared to take action against some poor Betas to protect your standing?”
Malcolm’s eyes softened. “Of course not, Will. I’d think you’d know me better than that by now. If the Geneticists think this is a breeding ground for that kind of thought, they’ll shut down the whole compound. Everyone here will be out of work, and if they’re lucky, that’s all that will happen to them. They view it as a very real threat to their power. It’s what led to the Great Destruction. Science will keep us from following the same path again.”
For a man who normally used as few words as possible, Malcolm sure was repeating himself. Will had never seen something that appeared so important to him. He needed to trust him. Malcolm had earned it. He trusted Will with everything. The least Will could do was reciprocate. “All right. I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”
Malcolm settled back onto Will’s chest. “Thank you. I promise, I won’t let any harm come to anyone who works for me, whether they’re a Spark of Life fanatic or not.”
“I know.” And he did. There was comfort in knowing.
30
Thirty
The next morning, Malcolm stood in his closet, dressing for an early meeting. He hated to leave, especially when Will was right next to him wearing the previous day’s clothes, hair still damp from the shower they’d shared. Malcolm loved having him around in the morning, seeing him first thing, before anyone else.
“I want to work with you.”
“What? Why?” Malcolm hadn’t expected the request, but he supposed it shouldn’t really surprise him, especially not after their talk last night about the time they spend apart.
“You’re busy most of the day. Call it selfish, but I’d like to have more time with you, even if it’s working. Besides, I could use a purpose.” Will put his arms around Malcolm’s waist from behind while Malcolm put on his tie.
[In Distress 01.0] In Distress Page 23
