Just as Stubborn

by Jeanne Arnold

  One side of the cabin had a kitchen big enough to fix a Thanksgiving feast for two hundred people. I watched from the hall when Gabe went into the living area and flung himself on a sheet that covered a sectional. He fished into the pocket of his pants and pulled out his keys and a handful of guitar picks. He tossed them onto the glass-topped coffee table along with some candy he must have salvaged from his jeans. He was adorable. But I didn’t approach.

  “We could use some candles. It’s too dark in here. Do you think there’s anything to eat? I really need to eat.”

  The room lit with lightning. He yawned and stretched his arms behind his head.

  “Check the pantry by the fridge. I’ll get our snacks when the rain lets up. There’s always a case of Coke. But c’mere first, before you pass out on me.”

  I tiptoed across the floor and noticed the weathered Texas flag framed above a fireplace that stretched all the way up the wall and disappeared into the rafters. “You could start a fire in here. It’s going to get cold, I mean.”

  “I know what you meant.” He grabbed my hand, and I leaned over the couch. The photo album fell to the ground as I braced my hand on his shoulder so I wouldn’t fall. I felt his heartbeat under my palm. My eyes drifted to the scar on his abdomen. It was faint, but there all the same. “What are you lookin’ at?”

  “This,” I said standing tall, his hand still wrapped around my other wrist.

  “I forget I have that. What are you planning to do with the picture book?”

  Gabe grabbed the back of my knees and tugged until I fell onto him again. I tried to push off, but he held me down. He nipped my side with his teeth. I knew the tickling was coming, but I didn’t have the energy to stop him.

  “Stop it, Gabe! Ah…no! Please!”

  Suddenly, he tensed. I managed to push up enough to see his rattled expression. The front door blew open. The sound of wind and pouring rain spread through the cabin.

  “Honey, I’m home!”

  I rolled off Gabe so fast I got dizzy. He jumped off the couch and stood over me, shielding me as I straightened my shirt.

  “Caleb?” I muttered into the pillow I used for cover. “Please…no.”

  Gabe bolted to the front door. He tried to shove his brother back out into the rain, but Caleb kicked the door closed as he dropped his duffle and a large grocery bag, causing bottles to clank and knock together. His HalRem hat flew off as he ducked and rammed his head into Gabe’s stomach. Neither said a word as they wrestled, pushed, and pounded on each other.

  I finally jumped up when Gabe’s bare back hit the banister and he winced.

  “Don’t do this! Both of you stop! Oh my god, Gabe, just stop it!”

  “Not until he leaves. I was here first,” Gabe yelled.

  Caleb had him around the waist and pulled him to the ground. I cringed as Gabe elbowed his brother’s back and tripped him so they both fell together. Gabe’s head almost hit the bottom stair. I covered my mouth and gasped. They moved fast, and I couldn’t keep up with who was winning. I didn’t want there to be a winner. I wanted them to stop.

  “Christ, Gabe. It’s my birthday,” Caleb wheezed. “What’s your damn problem?”

  Gabe stilled as if to think about his brother’s comment. His front was pressed to Caleb’s side; his hand held down his neck, ready to punch him.

  “Please just let him go. Remember his ribs? Just stop!” I cried.

  Caleb slammed a fist into Gabe’s shoulder, and I cringed as Gabe smacked his brother’s face with a ball of knuckles and then leaned back on his haunches, out of Caleb’s reach. Gabe clasped his arm and tried to catch his breath. Both of their chests swelled. Caleb lunged at Gabe when he wasn’t looking, but stopped before he could clobber him when I shrieked.

  “Caleb!”

  I edged closer thinking maybe they would end it if I pushed myself in between them.

  “Yeah, legs?” He was winded but laughing while holding his ribs.

  “Don’t touch him again,” I ordered.

  I fixed my fists onto my hips and tightened my eyes.

  “He’s tough, legs. He can take a little beating once in a while.” He breathed hard. “You like watching?”

  “Go sit in there.” I pointed to the kitchen for Caleb’s time out. “And you get up,” I directed Gabe.

  Instead, Gabe fell over and lay prone in the entryway and ignored me. His perspiring ribs shuddered as he panted for breath. Red marks marred his chest, and a dark circle formed on his shoulder. His hair stuck up in patches.

  I couldn’t decide if I was disgusted by their behavior or turned on. Gabe was strong and passionate. He could hold his own against Caleb.

  “You’re getting soft there, bro. Must be all the office hours you’ve been clocking.” Caleb laughed and then directed his comment at me. “Yes, ma’am. You can order me around anytime.”

  He saluted and tried to stand up with the help of the wall but slid back down.

  I scowled. “Why are you here? Did you follow us?”

  Caleb ran a hand over his red jaw and shook his head. “No. I was coming here to party,” he said.

  “Bullshit. That’s a lie. He wants to chase you,” Gabe said.

  Heat spread beneath my skin. I stepped into the living room and found a comfortable chair to curl up in. I wasn’t hungry anymore.

  “Actually, I came here to be alone with me and myself, thank you. When you ain’t there, the lieutenant gets all up in my face.”

  “What about watching after Josh?” I asked.

  “That little turd? He’s too much. I don’t know what to do with a sixteen-year-old boy. He’s nothing like me,” Caleb said.

  Gabe lifted his head and dropped it hard on the floor. “You really are a dumbass. He’s just like you.”

  “So you didn’t follow us? Why didn’t anybody tell me it was your birthday?” I asked.

  Caleb sighed and rubbed his wrist. He pulled off his boots one at a time and then drew his knees to his chest. “It’s not a popular week for remembering much, legs. Birthday’s tomorrow.”

  I’d held onto something Josh told me when I first arrived in Williston. Gabe was at a party the night his brother Eli died. I wondered if they had been celebrating Caleb’s twenty-first birthday.

  “So you were planning to turn twenty-two alone?” I asked.

  “Don’t feel bad for him. He’s never alone,” Gabe said and sneered from the ground. “He’s leaving. We gotta celebrate your birthday.”

  “Road’s closed a ways back. Heard a tornado landed thirty miles from home. Trees snapped all over. We’re in a state of emergency. None of us are going anywhere.”

  “I’ve got bars, but I can’t connect with a carrier,” I told him. “I think my parents shut my phone service off.”

  “You in more trouble than you let on, legs?” Caleb asked.

  “Is Meggie going to be okay?” I replied.

  “They were calling a doctor to check on her before they took her out. It’s killing the lieutenant that he can’t fly her to the hospital. It’s kinda funny when he can’t control the situation.” He ran a hand through his sweaty hair. “He wanted me to stay on in case he needed my know-how. Heck no, I’m not delivering his baby.”

  I knew I needed something to eat when my stomach made a loud complaint. I didn’t want to walk past Caleb dressed the way I was. I grabbed the throw from the window seat and draped it over my shoulders.

  “You know I seen it all before. Don’t cover up for me,” Caleb jibed.

  Gabe pushed his foot into his brother’s hip. Caleb slid sideways along the floor and tipped over on his elbow. They were a sorry pair of brothers.

  I made a beeline for the pantry. The floor was wet all the way to the sliding glass doors on the back wall. Puddles shined each time the sky lit up.

  “The roof is leaking. The floor’s wet,” I called as I pulled open the pantry.

  Caleb mumbled, “Can’t be. We’re on the dang first floor.”

  “Well, it’s
wet and we haven’t been in here…oh my goodness, there’s a lot of food.”

  It was mostly snacks. I couldn’t read all of the labels, but I was happy to eat anything. I grabbed two boxes and a bag of chips. My stomach became excited. I could already taste the food. I tiptoed, avoiding the puddles, and I limped past Gabe’s sprawled body on the entryway floor. Caleb was digging in his bag. They both tried to grab my ankles, so I hopped quickly enough, surprised that my leg remained strong. Gabe managed to pull the throw off my back just as I cleared him.

  “Gimme some of that,” I heard Gabe say as Caleb lifted out two bottles.

  “Get your own,” Caleb replied. “This here’s for me and maybe the lady.”

  Gabe rolled onto his stomach; his eyes found me in the chair eating from a box of cereal. “She won’t touch the stuff.”

  Gabe crawled across the floor like an animal until he reached the sofa across from me and stretched out on a sheet. I couldn’t take my eyes off of his blemishes as I gobbled Cap’n Crunch and let the crumbs pile up on my lap. I imagined one of the brothers would have a purple eye by morning.

  “Does anybody in your family scrapbook?” I asked with a mouthful.

  “Scrap what?” Gabe replied with a raised brow.

  “One of those photo albums was open.” I pointed with a fist full of cereal. “Pictures are missing.”

  “Wash that down, legs.” Caleb set a beer on the table beside me and I stared at it. I wasn’t going to drink it. I just wanted to be alone with Gabe while he wasn’t operating a moving vehicle.

  Gabe popped off the couch and snatched the beer as soon as his brother took a seat on the floor with the case of bottles. We locked eyes, and Gabe lifted the open bottle to his lips and downed it.

  “So this is how it’s going to be? You two getting plastered and me watching?”

  Caleb got off the floor and walked back to me with another bottle. “I’m full of ideas. You lookin’ for another suggestion?”

  “Leave her alone,” Gabe told him as he kicked his empty bottle across the rug.

  “Come on, legs. Loosen up. If you don’t drink them, guess who will? It’s the only fun you’re gonna get.”

  I sat in my chair for the next hour, listening to the wind rattle the windows, as the torrent alternated between hail and rain. The brothers were in the kitchen getting along. I knew what they were doing, and I wasn’t going to watch one of them lose a finger in a foolish drinking contest. Caleb egged Gabe into playing a game of Knife, and I heard them stabbing the table and laughing. I wanted to throw up. Back home it was called Pinfinger, and I knew a kid who had chopped off the tip of his pinky.

  I was pretty sure Gabe wasn’t using a pencil. I hoped it was a butter knife.

  At some point, I fell asleep, though I expected Gabe to be the first to crash. He hadn’t slept much in days. When I woke, the only sound was the raging wind. In the kitchen, I found Gabe sitting alone, backward in a chair.

  “Don’t you think you’ve had enough? I thought you were tired.” I placed an empty box of crackers in the trash.

  “I am. I did,” he mumbled and closed his eyes.

  Caleb stumbled into the kitchen and slapped his hand on the table. His shirt hung open, his face all wet. He was as white as a ghost.

  “Look what he did, dammit.” The room was dim, but I could see the blood on his hand. “I can’t git nothing to stick on it.”

  “Gabe did that?” I asked.

  “He stuck me with a knife,” Caleb drawled as I leaned across the table to inspect the damage. The side of his middle finger looked like it had a chunk missing.

  Gabe stood and shoved his chair into the table. “It was a stupid game. We’re going to bed. Come on, Av’ry.” He stumbled backward and bumped into the bottles lined up on the granite island. “Just leave him. C’mon,” he repeated.

  I shook my head. I needed to help.

  “Now you want to be around me?” I murmured. “Do you have tape or gauze? Is there a washcloth or something we could use?”

  I lit a candle to see what I was up against. Caleb cooperated. He remained unusually quiet. He set his head on his arm and let me clean and patch his hand without a single remark. When I finished bandaging his finger, he rolled his head and sighed.

  “God, I’ve been waiting for you to touch me like this,” he said softly and nudged his head into my arm. “I let him miss.”

  I swallowed my breath, released his hand, and stepped back. I should have known better. He let Gabe hurt him on purpose.

  “You’re supposed to test yourself and see how fast you respond to the knife coming at you. Not spear each other. Are you serious?”

  “No, I’m skunked.” He rolled his face back onto the arm of his sleeve.

  “You could’ve lost all your fingers.”

  “I don’t need all of them for what I wanna do,” he slurred.

  “How much did you drink? I was only sleeping for a little while.”

  Caleb belched and moved his head to the table. “Eight…ten…lost track after the first case. I’m nowhere near done, legs.”

  I crossed my hands over my shirt and glared at him.

  He lifted his face again. “That’s really hot—you wearing my dad’s shirt. Gabe must like that.”

  “I’m going to bed,” I said. “Why do you both keep opening this?” I ignored his teasing and pulled the sliding door shut and locked it. Rain pooled on the floor. I scurried off to the staircase before he could do or say anything more.

  The first door I came to was wide open. I stuck my head in and found Gabe spread out on the bed, his pants bunched up to his knees, his legs hanging off the mattress. He lay face down, snoring. The sight of him upset me. He was happier fooling around with his brother than spending the evening with me. My shoulders slumped with regret, and I wondered why I thought it was such a good idea to travel to Texas again. Texas clearly meant grief for him and eventually the same for me.

  “Gabe?”

  I waited. He didn’t wake.

  There were five bedrooms, all flickering eerily with lightning. I chose a room at the end of the hall and curled up on one of the matching twin beds. I waited, fighting my tired eyes, thinking that it was too early to go to bed, especially when my boyfriend whom I missed so much, was down the hall.

  When I awoke, I felt the bed lower in the corner. I noted the closed curtains, the darkened room. I didn’t dare take a breath.

  Had Gabe rethought his attempt to avoid me? He said nothing. The alarm clock on the side table faced me. It was after midnight. A gentle hand pressed on my shoulder and squeezed hello.

  I didn’t acknowledge the hand or announce that I was awake. I fought my urge to recoil when an extremely loud thunder clap passed.

  Gabe slid down the covers and positioned his long body behind me. His breath was strong, pungent, but sweet. I was trapped under the sheet from my waist down. I wanted to roll over, but I resisted moving as he collected my tangled hair and moved it out of the way so he could play with my ear. He kissed my neck and then pulled aside my shirt to let his lips graze my shoulder. I could see his bare arm and feel his warmth against me as he wrapped his arm around my stomach and pulled me near.

  My lids closed. He lay still, hardly breathing aloud, yet I felt everything, his heart beating, his lungs filling and releasing. The subtle twitch in his leg against the back of my knee. Content with his attention and finally in his arms, I smiled joyfully into my pillow. I was sleeping with Gabe.

  When his hand pulled my shoulder back, I rolled into him. His warm chest cradled me like a blanket. The pillow shifted under my head, and he drove his mouth into mine before I could look at him. I couldn’t stop the guttural sound that escaped my throat as his lips took charge of mine. The kiss was different, ravenous, deep. And faster than ever.

  I didn’t open my eyes until he sprung off the bed and made his way to the door. I struggled for air and a clear head. I resented the separation. Why was he leaving?

  I couldn’t
speak. My joy turned to confusion.

  The bedroom door opened and he stopped. His bare back visible in the flickering storm. Something was off.

  “Happy Birthday to me,” he whispered.

  The door shut in slow motion, and there was a click that made the wind force out of me like a gale. I rose on my elbows. My head acted like a bowling ball on my shoulders and fell back into the pillow. My stomach tightened and sent a warning to my brain. I was going to vomit all over the bed sheets. I hadn’t even been drinking.

  Four

  Morning was as dark as night.

  “The house didn’t blow away,” Gabe garbled with a mouthful of caramel corn from the kitchen. He washed it down with a glass of water as he set his book upside down. “Slept like a rock. How about you?”

  The kiss. He didn’t know. I was sure Caleb was looking for any way to break us up, make Gabe run off, and leave me stranded so he could come to the rescue.

  I drew in a slow breath where I stood in the shadow of the staircase, watching. My pulse thudded between my ears. He was in a good mood. I thought for sure he’d be sick. I didn’t know what to say. I had lain in bed for more than an hour after I woke up that morning and tried to figure out what to do.

  I considered killing Caleb so I wouldn’t have to deal with his reckless shenanigans. But I knew that wasn’t right. Despite my better judgment, I kind of admired his guts in an annoying way. I considered telling Gabe if Caleb hadn’t already. Eventually, he’d kill Caleb, so either way Caleb would die and the police would be involved.

  My guilty thoughts churned in my head. I couldn’t believe my stupidity. I fell for the magical lips, the ultimate switcheroo trick. I was furious with myself. Why did they have to look so much alike?

  I stared at Gabe. His hair was darker. He usually had less facial hair. He kissed better. There were so many reasons I should have known.