Love by Design
Page 11
It still did not make Laura feel much better, but she had to admit that Emily was right. She wondered what Terry would say about everything that had happened.
***
It was not until later that evening as Laura and Emily lay in bed holding each other that Laura remembered something.
She got up from the bed and made her way to the closet that used to be Terry’s. Reaching her hand up on the top shelf, she felt around until her hand fell upon a notebook. She slowly pulled it down.
“What’s that?” Emily asked.
“I had completely forgotten that Terry had kept a journal for a few years. I never wanted to look at it because I wanted to respect his privacy. But now, I’m curious what he had to say about his life in general, especially at the beginning when we were first together.”
She carried the notebook over to the bed and sat down staring at it. Her heart hurt as she looked down at the black cover. Emily’s hand came to her arm and Laura looked up at her.
“I’m scared.”
“Don’t be,” Emily said. “I know he loved you.”
“But what if I did the wrong thing with Sean?”
“You didn’t. I think Terry would have been proud.”
Fear gripped her as she looked down at the spiral-bound notebook. The feelings she had for Terry would always be there, she knew that. But now she had Emily, who she loved with an intensity she never thought possible. Although their relationship was still new, she already could feel it was stronger than hers and Terry’s ever was.
“I’ll tell you what,” Emily said as she got up and started to dress, “Since Polly’s gone for the weekend, I’ll head downstairs and start making dinner. I think this is something you should do alone.”
Laura looked at her gratefully. “Love you,” she said and Emily leaned in and kissed her. Although she felt the need to pull Emily back into bed and make love to her, she allowed Emily to pull back with a smile.
“I’ll be right downstairs.”
Laura stared at the empty doorway for several moments until she finally turned back to the notebook. Tears filled her eyes when she recognized Terry’s handwriting, block lettering like so many in his profession tended to use. She read his words and realized how much he had loved her all those years ago.
Midway through, she came across an entry from right after Laura had lost the baby and after she had left Jensen and Barkley. What she read shocked her and she wanted to share what she found with Emily, so she headed down to the kitchen, the smell of something wonderful coming from within.
“I want you to hear this,” Laura said.
Emily sat down next to her at the table. “Sure, as long as you want to share.”
“I do. It says here that not long after I lost the baby that first year and I decided to leave the firm, Terry started having problems with Sean. However, Terry couldn’t figure out a way to get rid of him. He wasn’t very good with legal issues and he hated to contact our lawyer for anything unless it was absolutely imperative. Especially if it was something that he felt was more personal.” She chuckled. “He always had that infuriating way of giving people the benefit of the doubt.” She realized how ironic that sounded since she saw herself so often the same way.
Laura looked up at Emily, who said nothing but gave her an encouraging nod.
“Anyway, it says that Sean was trying to out him even back then.” She looked up into Emily’s eyes. “Do you know what this means?”
Emily nodded and smiled. “Yes, it means that you did what Terry had been unable to do.”
Tears ran down Laura’s face unchecked. Terry never wanted her to worry about anything. He was such a good man, and to read the things Sean had done to hurt him hurt her heart.
“He loved you in his own way, but he’s gone now and so is Sean,” Emily said, taking Laura into her arms. “And you’re safe here with me.”
They kissed and soon their hands were roaming over each others’ bodies.
A newfound love is always the sweetest, and Laura felt that this one could go on forever.
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