Flame

by Clarissa Wild

  Me, pregnant? A baby? My dad will never accept that. What about college and my future? Do I even have one with Hunter? He doesn’t want this baby …

  The thought of getting rid of it crosses my mind, but I will it away. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to decide over life and death. Not here, not now, not ever.

  How could he do this to me? How could he leave me alone with this?

  I sob, wiping my nose on my hand while Jessie slowly lets go of me. “I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

  I haven’t even told him what happened. I just burst out into tears and have been crying since he came inside the room. He doesn’t even know I’m pregnant.

  I think I should tell him. If Hunter didn’t even take the time to tell him, even though he is his brother, then he’s out of it. Jessie deserves to know.

  “I’m pregnant,” I blurt out.

  Jessie’s eyes widen, and he sits there, gaping at me in full shock. “W-what?”

  I sigh. “I’m really pregnant.”

  He grabs my arms. “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah,” I nod, tears welling up in my eyes again.

  “Oh … Fuck …”

  “Please … d-don’t say that,” I mutter.

  “Oh, no. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just shocked, that’s all.”

  “Hunter’s reaction was similar, only he didn’t take it so well.”

  “That explains it.” Jessie frowns. “He ran off and flipped me the finger.”

  “Yeah, he’s mad all right,” I say, cocking my head.

  “He’s a fucking jerk, that’s what.”

  I sniff, looking around at the floors and walls, trying to escape all the thoughts storming through my head. It’s no use, though.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I say quietly.

  “With who?”

  “This. Me, being pregnant. And Hunter.”

  “Right … ” He purses his lips. “I completely understand. It’s a tough situation.”

  “What do I do? Should I terminate it?”

  “What do you want?” he asks, sitting down properly.

  “I …” I sigh, staring at my own belly, feeling it. I can’t believe there’s something growing inside me. There’s someone in there, clinging to me, needing me, holding onto me for dear life. How can I not love that?

  But Hunter wouldn’t. The look on his face said enough. He was furious, and the thought alone made him crazy. I can’t believe he hates it so much. Does the thought of having a child with me sound so wrong to him?

  “I don’t want to terminate it, but I have to …”

  “Why? If you don’t want to, why would you?” Jessie asks.

  “Hunter’s reaction said enough. He doesn’t want this baby and I can’t do this alone.”

  “Darling, you won’t have to.” Jessie grabs my hand and squeezes it lightly. “Whatever you decide, we will be here for you. I’ll make sure of that. Whether you decide to keep it or not, I’ll make sure my brother’s there for you. I swear it, or I’ll kick his ass.”

  I chuckle a little from the thought of Hunter getting beaten by his brother.

  “And I’ll be there too,” he adds.

  “Thank you,” I say with a genuine smile. “I’m just so afraid he doesn’t want this …”

  “I think he does. Deep inside. He’s always longed for a family.” Jessie looks away. “We didn’t exactly grow up with the right example of a family. I think he just has a tough time dealing with a baby, knowing where he comes from. He’s just scared it’ll turn out the exact same way.”

  “But we won’t. I won’t let that happen.”

  “I know.” Jessie glances at me. “But he doesn’t. He doesn’t believe in himself. Not when it comes to these things. Love. Family. Trust. Friendship. When it comes to fighting, sure, he has all the confidence in the world. But he always doubts his ability to provide what he never had, which is a family.”

  That makes sense. I hadn’t thought about it like that yet.

  Suddenly the door opens and both our heads turn to it. Hunter slowly steps inside, licking his lower lip, his chest tight and heavy with emotions. My stomach twists into knots just from seeing him.

  Jessie inhales sharply. “I guess I’ll leave you guys to it then.”

  He gives me one last supportive squeeze and winks before walking away. While passing his brother, he places a hand on his shoulder and says, “Good luck, kiddo.”

  Then he walks out and closes the door behind him.

  Hunter steps closer, taking a deep breath but not exhaling before he reaches me. “I’m sorry.” His words come out in one big slur. He sits down on my bed. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

  Everything comes flooding back out. “I can’t do this alone, Hunter.” Tears spring into my eyes. “I can’t do this. I’m pregnant. What am I supposed to do?”

  Hunter puts his hands on my shoulders and pulls me closer, wrapping me in his arms. Pressed against his chest, I cry into his shirt, letting go of everything: all the hurt, the pain, the anger, the sorrow that’s been coiled up inside me.

  “I needed you, and you weren’t there for me.”

  “I know, I’m sorry,” he whispers, hugging me tight. “I’m a fucking bastard.”

  “Damn right you are!” I huff, pushing my fist into his belly.

  He laughs. “You can hit me. I deserve it.”

  “I don’t want to. I wanted you to be here. To help me get through this.”

  “I’m sorry … I was too …” he sighs. “A pussy. That’s what I am. I’m fucking scared. The moment those words were mentioned I panicked. I fucking panicked and ran out because I couldn’t deal with it.”

  I listen to his words, but I almost can’t believe he’s saying them. It’s like he’s finally opening up to me.

  “But I talked to Jaret, and—”

  “Jaret was here?” I lift my head and look into his blazing gray eyes, which shine with certainty.

  “Yeah, my brother called him. Wanted him to talk some sense into me.”

  “Hmpf …” Go figure.

  “Yeah, I know. I needed it.”

  “You don’t know how hard this is for me. I didn’t expect this either, but I didn’t deserve you blaming me for all this.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry about that, too. I shoved my dick in you. I take full responsibility.” He sighs. “Whatever we do, I’m here for you.”

  I take a deep breath and wipe away the tears. “But what do we do? I mean, I’m pregnant, but I’m in college too. I can’t be both. And how do I ever explain this to my dad? He’ll never accept this.”

  “Your dad has nothing to do with this. We’re adults and we can make our own decisions. He should be behind yours, whatever it is. He doesn’t deserve to call himself your dad if he isn’t.”

  “Hunter …”

  “No, it’s the truth. Your dad shouldn’t be the deciding factor here. And about your college, well, we’ll just have to figure something out, if you want to keep it.”

  I look at him, my eyebrows drawing together. Did he actually just say that? Keeping it? What did Jaret say to him that made him change his mind?

  “If you want that. Do you want that?” he asks. His face is so gentle, unlike the anger that marked it before. His voice is much calmer, too.

  “I don’t know …” I say. I’m not sure. I mean, I don’t want to abort it, it feels wrong, but it also feels wrong for me to decide by myself. It’s his child too.

  He hugs me tighter. “You can say it.”

  “I … I can’t decide that. It’s not just mine. It’s yours too.”

  He crawls up from the bed and looks at me, a smile curving his lips. Nudging me forward, he creates space behind my back by removing my pillow, and then crawls into that space. He settles behind me and wraps his arms around me like a real protector. I lean against his chest, my breathing syncing with his, calming me down. His hands drift to my stomach and creep under my shirt, resting on my belly. He fee
ls me. Really feels me. Not with desire, but with love. Pure love.

  And as I look down at my belly with his fingers splayed on top, all I want to do is cry. Not from sadness, but from joy, because for the first time I feel that this baby belongs with us. I want to keep it.

  “I don’t want to terminate,” I say.

  “Then we don’t,” he says.

  “But can we? I mean, can we make enough money? Is our home good enough?”

  “We’ll make it good enough.” He leans his head on mine, kissing my hair. “I’ll work hard and I’ll fight even more matches. If that’s what it takes.”

  “But do you want it?” I ask, turning around.

  His fingers move, gently caressing my belly. His eyes get glazy and he smiles. “I thought about it in the park. Honestly, I was so scared, because I doubted I could be what a kid needs. I never had a father. I don’t have a good example, and I never really had a family.”

  “We can make our own family,” I say.

  “Yes … I want that. I don’t want to lose you over something like this, and I don’t want to lose what’s inside you. Thinking about it now, it makes so much sense. There’s a little me growing inside you and he needs me to be there. He needs a daddy, so I’ll be that for him.”

  I smile and plant a kiss against the stubbly skin of his neck. “Or she. It could be a girl.”

  He chuckles. “Or a she, but she’ll still need a daddy to look up to.” He lets out a big breath. “I want to be what my family couldn’t be. I feel like this is the way to make things right.”

  “So, we’re going to keep it?” Just the thought alone makes my heart jittery.

  His eyes are half-mast when he says, “We’re gonna keep it.”

  I kiss him again on his chin, feeling elated. “We’re gonna be a family.” I can’t believe this, but it’s really going to happen. I’m pregnant, and we’re keeping the baby. We’re gonna be a family, a real family. Now, more than ever, I know that he is the one. Even after all the fights, after all the struggles, I only love him more. Loving him is like breathing: essential.

  And this baby is more than welcome. It’s a part of him and me, melded together into a perfect little baby, which is growing inside me.

  It’s just too good to be true.

  “We’re having a baby,” he says in a long, drawn-out sigh. “My fucking God. I’m gonna be a dad.”

  “You’ll be the best dad ever,” I say before locking my lips onto his, never wanting to let go.

  CHAPTER 25

  TELLING THE WORLD

  Hunter

  A few days later…

  She’s home again. Well, my home. I’m glad she came with me, because I really don’t want her at school right now. Not because I don’t want her to study, but because I’m worried. The doctor told us she has a very sensitive uterus, meaning the fetus isn’t stable. I want to make sure nothing bad happens to her. Ever since she found out she was pregnant she became all radiant and alive like never before. She reminds me of a flower that popped open to show the world its colors, and I don’t want it to break in the wind. I don’t want her to have to go through losing a baby, because I know she wants this. And I want it too, so I’ll do anything to prevent that.

  God, I still can’t believe we’re having a baby. It’s so fucking unreal, and yet I feel happy about it. I’m happy that there’s something that’s ours and it’s growing inside her. Soon, we’ll be taking care of a little someone who’s just like us, only a miniature version. I can’t think of anything more exciting than that.

  On the doctor’s orders, Leafy has been resting in my bed for a couple of days now. I’ve been looking for furniture and figuring out a way to rebuild our home together with my brother. We’ve already decided we’re going to remodel Mom’s room and turn it into a nursery. It’s good that we’re finally getting rid of the old stuff and bad memories still lingering there. Besides, we’ll be replacing it with something good. Something that isn’t tainted. Something precious.

  I walk into my room, where my girl is lying in bed, and her warm smile immediately makes me feel appreciated and welcome. “Is she here yet?” she asks.

  “I haven’t heard the bell ring, so I guess not,” I say. I come sit down beside her on the bed and take her temperature with my hand.

  “Oh, stop, I’m fine,” she says, waving my hand away.

  “No, you’re not. You didn’t bleed and go to the hospital for nothing. I have to check up on you.”

  “I feel fine, Hunter. Look.” She flexes her arms, pumping her tiny muscles, making me chuckle. She even imitates my face.

  “Hey, I do not look like that,” I say, putting her arms down. I grab her bottle of water and her pills and hand them to her. She sighs and rolls her eyes.

  “Just let me take care of you, okay?” I say, frowning, because she’s still making a joke out of it.

  Her eyes narrow as she grins. “You’re worried about me.”

  “No, I’m not. I just want to … make up for what I did.”

  I wait until she swallows her pills before I take back the bottle of water.

  “Hmm … You’re cute.”

  Rolling my eyes, I say, “Say that again and I might have to tickle you to death.”

  “Ha, you think you can tickle me? Not a chance!”

  “Don’t challenge me or I will,” I muse, flashing my most handsome face.

  She laughs. “Aw … so damn cute.”

  Biting my lip, I dive onto her bed without a warning, pinning her to the mattress while tickling her. I know all her sensitive spots, and I don’t hesitate to use them to my advantage. Especially those places that make her less giggly and more in a moaning mood.

  “I’m. Not. Cute. I’m fucking hot. Or sexy. Either is good. But don’t you call me cute.” I blow a raspberry against her belly.

  “Stop!” She laughs so hard it makes her cry.

  “Not until you beg me!” I say gruffly, tickling her senseless.

  “All right, all right!”

  “Beg.”

  Then the bell rings, and we both shoot up from the bed. Shit. I didn’t expect Evie to get here so soon. I was just starting to enjoy myself.

  “You got off lucky,” I say, winking at her.

  “As if,” she muses. “Now I’m soaked.”

  I smirk. “Good. I like it when you’re wet. Makes you want me so much you’re practically jumping me with your eyes.”

  “Oh, very funny, mister. Now I gotta wait until she’s gone again before we can do anything.”

  I shrug. “I can wait. We have all the time in the world, and I intend to fuck you plenty of times.”

  She folds her arms when I turn around and walk to the door to let her friend inside.

  “Where is she?” Evie says, pushing me aside.

  “Hello to you too,” I say, closing the door behind her. She struts to my bedroom, where Leafy is, and yells, “Girl, where have you been?”

  I guess she hasn’t told her yet. She was probably waiting to tell her in person. I would’ve just called, but my girl insisted on inviting her here. Girl Code, I guess.

  “I’ve been … a little sick,” Leafy says, clearing her throat.

  Beckoning me, she invites me back into the room. I wonder why she wants me around. Maybe for support when she tells her best friend. I remember when I told Jaret. I was out of my mind with anxiety, so I can imagine what she’s feeling right now.

  “Oh God, what’s wrong? What happened to you?” Evie grabs a chair and sits down beside the bed while I stand near the door, still unsure if I should be here or not.

  “Nothing, I’m fine. I’m okay,” Leafy says. “It’s just that … Well …” She inhales deeply. “I’m pregnant.”

  In the blink of an eye her jaw drops and her pupils dilate. She sits there in shock before gathering herself together. “W-what?”

  With her fingers, Leafy crumples up the blanket, distress showing on her face. She needs me by her side now to support her. So I walk over t
o her and grab her hand.

  “We found out a couple of days ago,” I say.

  “You’re p-pregnant?” Evie repeats.

  We both nod.

  “Oh. My. God. You’re having a baby?”

  Leafy chuckles. “That’s what pregnant means, yeah.”

  “You’re not kidding?” Evie responds.

  “No, of course not. Why would I?”

  “Now that would be cruel,” I add.

  Evie slumps back into her chair, staring at both of us. “Wow.”

  “Yep …” I squeeze her hand, trying to make her feel at ease. I know it’s not easy to tell people. They never see it coming. Nor did we.

  “Oh my God …” Evie repeats. “So y’all are becoming a family now.”

  “Yes,” she says, smiling broadly. “And I’m kind of happy about it. I didn’t expect to be, but it just happened, and now I can’t think of anything else but this baby.”

  “Well, it sure is something to get used to.” Evie grins. “But what about college and your parents?”

  She frowns, sighing. “I haven’t actually thought about that yet.”

  “It’s best if you continue your school,” I say. They both look at me like I’m crazy. “I don’t mean now, I mean after you have the baby.”

  “Right,” Evie says. “But that still means you’ll be out of school for a couple of months, maybe more, like a year or something. Your parents won’t be happy.”

  “I’m done making them happy. I’d like to be happy for once,” she says, pursing her lips. “My dad will just have to accept it.”

  “And your mom?”

  Leafy looks down at the sheets, caressing her belly like she’s soothing the baby inside her. “I think she’d like this …”

  They both smile. “Well, I’m happy if you are,” Evie says. Then she glares at me. “As long as you take good care of her and promise me you won’t let her go. Otherwise I’m coming after you, dude.”

  I laugh. “Relax. I’m not going anywhere and neither is she. We’ve already started building a nursery.”

  “Oh, really?” Evie’s face lights up like she sees stars. “I would love to see that.” She gets up from the chair, grinning, then she squeals. Jumping in for a hug, she says, “Oh, I’m really excited for you guys!”