Mourning Sun

by Shari Richardson

  "I don't believe you have no questions for me, Mairin," he said, leaning against the wall. "I can see them whistling around behind those beautiful green eyes of yours."

  I felt the blood rush to my face. Great, just great. I knew I looked like a boiled tomato when I blushed. The blood in my cheeks did horrible things to my pale complexion. Mathias watched me carefully before placing his palm against my cheek. His palm felt wonderfully cool against my heated skin and I sighed.

  "Ask me one question before you burst," he said. "What brought you to Highland Home?" I whispered, remembering he'd once said the beach had been only part of his reason for choosing to come to this town.

  "Ah, that is an interesting question to begin with," he said, trailing his knuckles across my cheek and jaw. I was suddenly and terrifyingly reminded of the first dream I'd had of Mathias. He'd caressed Kathryn's face just that way. I shuddered and turned my face away. Mathias smiled and dropped his hand to his side. "The short answer is that the company I own moved it's operations near here."

  "The short answer?" I said. "What's the long answer?" The bell rang and Mathias smiled. "The long answer will have to wait." he pushed away from the wall and reached for my hand. I was still reeling from the electrical currents that kept coming each time he touched me when I realized he'd lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. "Until later, Mairin."

  I stood, stunned and unable to move. Mathias' normally reserved manners had slipped significantly today. Never before had he so blatantly sought to touch me. The nerves on the back of my hand still sang with the electricity left by his lips.

  I watched him cross the hall to Mr. Stevens' room, but I couldn't seem to move. It wasn't until I heard the high-pitched screaming laugh of Stephanie Bartlet echoing behind me that my paralysis broke.

  "So M&M is going to be a thing, I see," she said as I took my seat beside Cecelia.

  "Cram it Stephanie," Cecelia said.

  "No," I whispered to my best friend. "Let her go or it'll just get worse." It was too late, of course. Stephanie sauntered down the aisle to stand next to me. "What has happened in the last twenty four hours that you seem to think it's OK to speak to me?" she asked.

  "Nothing, Stephanie," I said. "Just drop it, OK?"

  "So now you're giving me orders?"

  "No, I just don't want to get into this with you."

  "Well I do," Cecelia said. "You're a bitch and you're just jealous that Mathias likes Mairin and not you." "Cecelia, no." Cecelia stood up as Stephanie leaned over me to get closer to her. "You really might want to be careful of what you say right now, Cecelia," Stephanie said. "We wouldn't want to have to call your dad, the janitor, to clean up your blood when I knock out your teeth."

  I flinched. Stephanie always went too far. For that matter, so did Cecelia. I wasn't going to let this go any farther, not over me. Before I could think it through, I shoved Stephanie. Overbalanced as she was from leaning across my desk, she went flying, landing in an undignified heap next to my desk. From somewhere behind me, I heard someone laugh and I ground my teeth. This day was getting better all the time.

  "Miss Bartlet, why are you on the floor?" my homeroom teacher asked.

  "Mairin shoved me."

  "No she didn't," Cecelia said. "Stephanie tripped." I watched as the teacher weighed the benefits of giving me detention for something she knew Stephanie probably deserved against letting Cecelia's lie suffice. The lie won.

  "Please take your seat, Miss Bartlet."

  "But, she shoved me."

  "I asked you to please take your seat. Do I need to send you to the office for a detention slip, Miss Bartlet?"

  Stephanie stomped back to her desk, turning to glare at me. I knew I'd pay for what I'd done, but it had felt so good that I didn't care.

  "What was that about?" I whispered to Cecelia while the secretary read the announcements. "I'm sick of her, that's all. I have never understood why you let her get away with being such a bitch."

  "It's not worth the stress of dealing with detention and the hit Mom's shop would take if the Bartlets decided to shut her down."

  Cecelia shook her head. "I couldn't do it, Maire. You're a saint."

  "No, just practical."

  "So what was with the kiss on the hand thing out in the hall?"

  "Saw that, did you?"

  "Well, yeah. I think half the school saw it."

  I didn't know how to answer Cecelia. I was still reeling from the kiss myself. "I wish I knew."

  "Think you guys will ever go on a real date?" "Who knows. He's not like the other guys here. He's polite. He listens to me. And so far the most sexually forward thing he's done is kiss the back of my hand."

  "You like him."

  I sighed. "Yeah, Cece. I like him." "Well, it's about time. You've let Stephanie and her cronies keep you from liking anyone, I was convinced you'd graduate from high school without a single date and definitely as a virgin."

  "Cece!"

  "Well, it's true, Maire. You haven't been on a date since that one time you and Thomas went to the movies in ninth grade." I laughed, remembering the strangely formal kiss Thomas had tried to give me at the end of the date. From then on, we'd decided we were definitely better friends than we would be as boyfriend and girlfriend.

  "So I don't date. Neither do you."

  "Yeah, well, there is that." "Maybe we should focus on finding you someone to date. Then if Mathias actually asks me out, we can double. Of course since I doubt Mathias is going to ask me out, I think we're safe for a while."

  Chapter 3

  "You really own a pharmaceutical company?" I asked. Mathias nodded. "I was very young when my parents died. I lived with a guardian over the years, but decided recently I was quite old enough to live on my own. When the board of directors wanted to move the headquarters to the east coast, I thought a change of scenery would be good for me."

  I leaned back in my chair, suddenly aware that I was leaning into Mathias as we talked amid the clamor of the cafeteria. Why was I always leaning in, getting closer to this boy? Part of me thought he purposely spoke in a softer tone so I would have to lean in, but that would mean he wanted me to be closer to him.

  Since the morning he'd kissed my hand, Mathias had continued his campaign to get closer to me physically. It was rare now for him to not hold my hand as we walked from one class to another. He often brushed his knuckles along my jaw, a caress which never failed to make me tremble with a combination of desire and terror. The one thing he'd never attempted was to kiss me. I found myself watching his lips as he spoke and fantasizing about how they would feel against my own.

  I blinked slowly, realizing I'd drifted away again. Mathias' bemused smile made me wonder how long I'd been gone.

  "Sorry," I said sheepishly, "I didn't sleep well last night.

  "I apologize," he said. "I hope your dreams this evening are more pleasant."

  "I never said anything about dreams,"I said defensively.

  "I simply assumed that was the cause of your poor rest, Mairin,"

  "Oh." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. "I'm a little touchy about my dreams." "I see that. Would you care to share the reason you're 'touchy' about your dreams?"

  Mathias' tone and posture invited confidence, but I didn't know how to explain my dreams to people without them either running away or feeling sorry for me because they thought I was crazy. I especially didn't feel prepared to discuss my dreams with the most recent star of them.

  I shook my head. "Not yet."

  Mathias smiled. "I heard what happened between you and Stephanie," he said, changing the subject. "Oh," I'd hoped the story hadn't made the rounds since I hadn't heard any buzz about it. Even Stephanie seemed determined that the story wouldn't get out. I'd been sure she would find a way to make me the villain and to play the helpless damsel, but she hadn't even retaliated.

  "I'm sure whatever you heard was exaggerated." Mathias took my hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it before turning it over to tr
ace the lines on my palm. I was getting used to the electrical current that passed between us when Mathias touched me, but I still couldn't fathom why he kept reaching for me.

  "What I heard was that you shoved that horrible girl for picking on your friend Cecelia," Mathias said. "You should be proud to stand up for your friends." I nodded, unable to speak. I put my other hand over his to stop him from tracing his fingers over my palm. There was something far too intimate in that act. It was as though he were memorizing parts of my past and future by tracing the lines put there by the Divine. Instead of drawing away as he often did when I touched him, Mathias let me turn his hand palm up. His hand was large with a square palm and long fingers. My hand was dwarfed beside his. I lightly trailed my fingertips over the hills and valleys of his cupped palm, smiling when Mathias shuddered. It was nice to know my touch had the same effect on him as his did on me. I watched the path my fingers took, lost in the sensation of the rough callouses and smooth hidden places on his palm. I was fascinated by his hand and it took me some time before I realized why Mathias' palm looked so strange.

  "That's weird," I said.

  "What is?"

  "Your palm is almost completely smooth. Hardly any lines." Mathias slowly pulled his hand from mine, laying it palm down on his knee. I could tell he tried to do it without hurting my feelings, but I was hurt just the same. Mathias had shunned the Golden Ones in favor of me and my friends. He had begun to let his cool reserve and formal distance slip so he could get closer to me, but touch, the most basic human connection, had to be only on his terms. I crossed my arms, tucking my hands away as much to keep Mathias from taking them as to restrain myself from reaching for him again.

  "You really should let Mairin read your palm, Mathias," Stephanie said, leaning over my shoulder to take his hand and pull it closer to me. "Don't touch me, please," Mathias said. I heard the low timbre of a growl in his voice and it set my teeth on edge. It was a sound I had heard in my dreams, one that often meant death was coming. In the present, Mathias jerked his hand out of Stephanie's grasp and rubbed it against his leg as though he'd touched something nasty.

  "But the little freak is so good at fortune telling, aren't you?" Stephanie's tone was drenched in hate and anger. "Didn't you predict your daddy's death? Too bad you didn't tell anyone until after it happened."

  I heard Cecelia gasp and the din of conversation in the cafeteria dimmed until I couldn't hear anything but my heart beating frantically in my chest. So this was the price for embarrassing Stephanie in our homeroom. Only Stephanie in her quest for ways to break me would bring up our father in such a hateful manner. I could see that even her cronies, who likely didn't understand the depth of Stephanie's barb, were shocked and beginning to slink away so they wouldn't get caught in the crossfire. I tried to slow my heart and regain some measure of control before my tongue got ahead of my brain. I had a nasty retort poised on the tip of my tongue, but Mathias beat me to it.

  As the last syllable passed Stephanie's lips, Mathias stood and stepped between me and the grinning Golden One. The growl I'd heard a hint of a moment earlier was in full blossom on his beautiful lips. My awareness focused narrowly until I could feel the oppressive darkness of my dreams closing in. His voice, deepened and destroyed by the growl, called to me out of the darkness. The animal nature of the sound left goosebumps raised on my arms and neck and set my heart tripping ever faster in my chest. I leaned around his body so I could see Stephanie and I lay my hand against his back. My heart thundered as the possibility of my dreams being premonitions became a very real thing. I hoped to calm Mathias before the beast in his voice burst forth and devoured my arch nemesis, taking my heart and future happiness with her.

  "Apologize," he demanded before I could tell him I was okay and that starting a fight with Stephanie wasn't worth the trouble it would bring later. Stephanie stumbled back, obviously terrified by the ferocity of Mathias' tone. "I'm...I'm sorry," she said. Her face was blanched white except for two spots of red high on her cheeks. From my subconscious a stream of similar faces burst forth. Every victim I'd dreamed of had looked as Stephanie did now.

  "Now go," Mathias said softly. Stephanie turned and ran. I watched the normally icily composed girl flee and felt a stab of pity for her. First I'd shoved her and now Mathias had terrified her. Even Stephanie didn't deserve that kind of harsh treatment. Mathias was seated across from me, shredding his napkin before I found my voice.

  "What the hell was that?" I demanded.

  "She insulted you."

  "And you decided to scare the living crap out of her in return?" "I didn't intend to frighten her, only to elicit the apology you deserved." His reasonable tone irritated me. This was the cold, distant Mathias of my nightmares. The monster who could kill, feed and leave the corpse on the cobblestones.

  He might be calm and cool but I was furious. I wasn't some shrinking violet who needed a knight in shining armor to defend her against a wicked witch. I was perfectly capable of fighting my own battles or choosing which battles weren't worth the fight. I'd done it for the first sixteen years of my life. Just because this boy had appeared in my life didn't mean I was suddenly incapable of taking care of business.

  I stood up. "Well, I don't appreciate what you did." I was shaking with what I thought was anger, though if I was truly honest with myself was probably closer to adrenalin. I had to acknowledge that there was a very real possibility that I was screaming at a dangerous monster and that my dreams really were Mathias' memories. Despite that realization, I didn't care. If Mathias thought he could sweep into my life and turn it upside down without a response from me, he was sadly mistaken.

  I realized everyone in the cafeteria had stopped their own conversations to witness my meltdown, but I didn't care that I was the center of attention. If I was going to spend time with Mathias, he was going to have to learn that I didn't need him to fight my battles for me. I turned to stalk out of the cafeteria, but Mathias' hand on my arm stopped me.

  "I am sorry, Mairin," Mathias said. "I will not interfere again." He looked so contrite that my anger dissolved in a single, sudden moment. How could I stay mad when I preferred his smile to the sad look he was giving me now? "Well, yeah then," I said. "That's probably a good idea."

  The bell rang, saving me from further embarrassing myself. I both loved and hated the effect Mathias had on me. His ability to take me from fury to love with only one look was disconcerting.

  "Shall we go to class?" Mathias asked. I nodded and let him lead me out of the cafeteria. It dawned on me as we walked that the golden halo around Mathias had darkened during his confrontation with Stephanie and was still darker now than it had been that morning. I filed that away as something to talk to my mom about later. In fact I needed to talk about the halos in general. The variety of colors, or lack thereof, was getting weird, especially when I compared the colors I saw to the people they were attached to. Stephanie's boyfriend, Braden, had a muddy green halo. It was the only one of that color I'd seen. Most people's halos were some shade of blue. And then there was the gold halo I saw around Tawnya and Mathias. I was sure the colors had some meaning, but I couldn't imagine what it might be.

  "So what other questions do you want me to answer about myself," Mathias asked. "Or is it my turn?"

  "Ask away," I said, collecting my thoughts and focusing on Mathias. "I'm sure my life isn't nearly as interesting as yours."

  "I think you underestimate the level of interest I have in you...your life."

  I felt the blood rush to my cheeks again. "You talk to me like I'm the most interesting person you've ever met. I know that can't be true."

  "I won't argue that particular point with you, Mairin. Suffice it to say that right now there is nothing in this world so interesting to me as you."

  "Why do you say things like that?"

  "Because they're true. I will always endeavor to tell you the truth Mairin."

  "I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on the concept of how interestin
g I am."

  "Certainly," he said, taking my hand again and holding it to his lips. The electricity flowed and I wondered if my face could possibly get any redder.

  "Don't do that," I whispered.

  "Do what?"

  "When you do that...kiss my hand...I feel like a princess in a fairy tale. Boys don't do things like that anymore." Mathias smiled broadly. "I am not like the other boys." "You can say that again," I clapped a hand over my mouth. "Dammit, you did it again."

  "What have I done now?" Mathias' lips twitched. I knew he was laughing at me.

  "I have no filter around you. I just say whatever comes to mind. It's extremely annoying."

  "I find it both refreshing and charming."

  "You would. You're not the one spilling state secrets."

  Mathias frowned. "I would prefer we had no secrets."

  Something about the way he said it, made me think he referred to his own secrets rather than mine. Certainly, I'd been unable to hide anything from him.

  "You said you wanted to ask me questions. Ask away."

  He smiled at my not so subtle change of subject. "I truly have only one question right now."

  "What?"

  "Will you go to the pep rally and football game with me this evening?" I stopped in the hall, causing a pile up of epic proportions as the students streaming down the hall stopped with me. Several people cursed and pushed past us. The question was so mundane, so normal, after the scene in the cafeteria and the electricity of his touch that I couldn't focus on anything but the one question I'd resisted asking since Mathias had appeared in my life.

  "Why do you want to be with me?" I asked. "I don't know," Mathias said so softly I wasn't certain I'd actually heard those words. "I want to know you," he said more loudly, casting further doubt on his first statement. He pulled me to the side of the hall to allow the pile up to move past us.