The Charm Bracelet

by HILL, MELISSA

  ‘I want to keep it,’ she said with a small smile. ‘I want to have the baby.’

  Nick was silent, and he pulled his hands away again. Gently this time, as if he thought she wouldn’t notice him recoil. He stood up and walked to the wall where a sliding glass door opened up onto a patio. He put his hands on the glass and placed his forehead against the cool pane. Holly waited for him to speak, all the while feeling as if her heart would pound out of her chest in anticipation.

  Finally, she broke the silence. ‘Well?’ she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. ‘What do you think?’

  More silence still.

  ‘Nick, please, I understand. I was freaked out too, I didn’t expect this, didn’t plan on it. But I think we should talk about it.’

  Holly hated sounding as if she was pleading. After all, this wasn’t just about her; this was about the both of them. The three of them actually.

  Nick turned slowly around to face her.

  ‘What do you want me to say?’ he asked bluntly, with a new edge to his voice.

  Holly crossed her legs, Indian-style, on the bed and put her hands in her lap. She had never felt smaller in her life. ‘I guess I want you to say that you love me, and that we’ll figure this out together.’

  Nick pursed his lips together. ‘Holly, I don’t want it.’

  Holly felt as if she had been slapped, and her breath rushed from her lungs. ‘What did you say?’

  This time, Nick’s response was quick. ‘I said I don’t want this.’

  Eyes welling up with tears, Holly held out her hands. ‘How can you say that? This is you and me – it’s ours. Our baby. I know it’s scary, and it’s a lot to take in. And I know we’ve never talked about it. But maybe it’ll be a good thing … ’ Holly reached for him, hoping that he would pull her into his arms, tell her he was wrong, that he was just joking, that he wanted their baby.

  But he didn’t. If anything, he backed farther away from her.

  ‘We never talked about it because it’s irrelevant. I don’t want kids.’

  Tears fell from her eyes. ‘But you always talked about the future, and being together, and—’

  ‘Holly,’ he said matter-of-factly. ‘Yes, together, with you. Not together with a baby.’

  ‘But I want the baby,’ Holly pleaded, crying. ‘How can you be so cruel?’

  Nick sighed and walked to where she sat. ‘Babe, I’m not trying to be cruel. This just doesn’t fit in with what I want in my life. In my future.’ Holly froze, she was keenly aware of the switch from ‘our’ future to ‘my’ future. ‘And like I was telling you, Yahoo bought the company today.’

  Holly threw up her hands. ‘So what does that mean, that now you have more money?’ she said sharply. ‘Does it mean that you don’t have to work as much? If that’s true, why can’t we have the baby?’

  Nick looked her straight in the eye and replied. ‘Because I am moving, to Silicon Valley. I’m included in the buyout. I was offered a permanent position. And I’m taking it.’

  ‘Silicon Valley? But I thought you loved New York? You always said that this is where you wanted to be. And what’s with you moving? What about me?’

  He shrugged and regarded her with cool eyes. It was as if a switch had been flipped and nothing was the same. As if their relationship had been irrevocably altered in five minutes. Then again, Holly supposed that it had.

  ‘When I walked in that door just a few minutes ago, I wanted to ask if you would come with me.’

  Holly nodded, the gravity of the situation setting in, and the reality of who Nick was unfolding before her eyes. She realised at that moment what was most important to him – it was his work, his money, his career, and it would never be her. Nor would it ever be their baby.

  She felt numb.

  ‘And now?’ she asked, already knowing the answer.

  Nick took a deep breath. ‘Look, I already said it, don’t make me say it again. I don’t want a baby.’

  ‘And if I do?’ she inquired. ‘Does that mean that my invitation to move with you to Silicon Valley has been rescinded?’

  There was barely a pause. ‘I’m sorry,’ he replied.

  Holly moved out of Nick’s apartment the next day after spending the night in the guest bedroom. She didn’t feel sorry to leave, and it didn’t appear that Nick felt sorry to see her go. What few things she had that she hadn’t put into storage when she sublet her apartment, she took with her to mother’s, who invited her to stay with her until her apartment had been vacated and she could move back in.

  Even though it was all a shock to her system, she stood by her decision. Holly knew that she had never wanted anything in her life the way she wanted this baby. She wondered if it was possible to already love it, that little ball of cells, the way she already felt that she did, wholeheartedly and with every fibre of her being. She knew without a doubt that she had made the right decision.

  She patted her tummy, evicting Nick from her mind and thinking about the road ahead. It would just be the two of them and she smiled in spite of herself. While she never imagined herself as a single mother, she didn’t feel scared, but rather emancipated. And as she continued walking down the street in her old neighbourhood in Queens, she passed a jewellery store on her right.

  Holly felt like laughing out loud when she walked into the tiny store and her eyes immediately travelled to the only baby-themed charm in the display case. A little stork, carrying a bundle. She put down her Visa without a second thought, knowing for sure that this was a milestone that deserved to be commemorated.

  My little bundle, she thought with a heart full of love as she inspected the newest addition to her charm bracelet. Walking bravely on and thinking about the future, Holly jingled her bracelet happily.

  Chapter 23

  Karen Bennet’s iPhone buzzed in her lap just as the cab pulled up in front of the 21 Club on West Fifty-Second Street. Swallowing hard as she looked at the display, she took a deep breath.

  ‘Hey Greg, how are you?’ she said airily as she connected the call. The cab driver turned around in his seat and opened his mouth to speak, but Karen threw up a hand, silencing him. The last thing she needed was him making some sort of announcement that identified where she was or what she might be doing.

  ‘Hi babe. I got your message about being late tonight. That’s no problem. You said you were having dinner with a contact?’

  ‘Potential contact actually. Bradley asked me to play a part,’ she said, referring to her boss.

  ‘Well, good luck with that. No worries on my end, I think I’m just going to order a pizza and get some work done.’

  Karen felt like rolling her eyes but caught herself. She knew it was unkind, but she had to admit that she was tired of the whole ‘order a pizza’ spiel, which seemed to be occurring with more regularity around their house.

  ‘Well, sounds great,’ she replied. ‘So, I’ll see you later OK?’

  ‘Um, one more thing.’ Greg cleared his throat on the other end. ‘Are you still OK for dinner tomorrow night at Cipriani? I know Dad is really looking forward to it. He hasn’t been out much since … ’

  Karen thought about it. While she wasn’t exactly in the mood for playing happy families, her heart hurt for Greg’s father, Jeff. She had always liked him and knew that he was really struggling over Cristina.

  ‘Oh, right, sure, of course.’

  ‘Great,’ She could hear Greg smile through the phone. ‘Well, have a nice night, and good luck. If anyone can land a new contact it’s you.’

  Back home, having hung up on Karen, Greg made another phone call and smiled while waiting for his dad to answer.

  He felt giddy with excitement. On Christmas morning, when Karen opened the New York Times, she would be in for the surprise of her life.

  The first stage of his plan was arranged; now all Greg needed to do was to make sure that the second and possibly most important part was in hand.

  Moments later, Jeff answered, and after a brief
catch-up on how things were, Greg got round to the other purpose of his call.

  ‘So, I’m hoping that you can bring the ring with you to Cipriani’s tomorrow, and give it to me on the sly?’

  While it was cutting things close, it was the perfect opportunity for Greg to ensure he had his grandmother’s ring in time for Christmas morning.

  ‘I’m sorry … I know you asked me for it before, but it completely slipped my mind … ’ Jeff said with a hint of tension in his voice, and Greg immediately felt terrible that his request was so self-serving, given everything that his dad was going through. And here he was making all this fuss about proposing.

  ‘Dad, I’m so sorry. Of course I know you have better things to be doing. I apologise. I was only thinking of myself.’

  Jeff chuckled into the phone. ‘Nah, you’re OK, and like I said, things are OK, I’m OK. But let’s not talk about that now. Anyway, I know how it is when you are planning to propose; it’s kind of all-consuming. I’m guessing you figured out exactly how you’re going to do it?’

  ‘Absolutely. I contacted my buddy at the Times, and we worked out a plan.’ Relieved that his father’s tone sounded brighter, Greg explained how he’d arranged for the proposal to be worked into the newspaper on Christmas morning.

  ‘Well now … ’ Jeff laughed, but Greg felt it was somewhat forced. ‘That’s quite a grand gesture.’

  He smiled. ‘I suppose Karen’s kind of a grand gesture sort of girl.’

  ‘I suppose.’

  Greg’s forehead creased with concern. ‘Do you think it’s too much, Dad? You sound worried.’

  Jeff took a deep breath on the other end. ‘Well, no, I’m not worried. I just have to give you credit. You’re a brave man for being so public.’

  ‘I’m not being public,’ Greg commented a little defensively, thinking his plan through again. ‘Nobody but Karen will understand what it means.’ He paused for a moment, worried about his father’s subdued reaction. ‘What is it, Dad? Do you think she might say no? I wouldn’t have thought all this out or planned things if I thought she wouldn’t accept.’

  ‘No, no, Greg. I don’t think she’s going to say no, that’s not what I meant. I suppose …well, I don’t know what I mean. Maybe I was just thinking about your Mom and when I proposed. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t compare. I think the idea is great. It’s unique.’

  Greg thought back to how Jeff had asked Cristina to marry him. He had opted for the simple idea of getting down on one knee in Central Park, no bells and whistles. His parents’ relationship had been very much a great love story, and the simplicity of the act seemed to complement them and who they were. Instead of detracting from the power of their feelings for each other, the privacy of the moment was just right.

  Greg suddenly worried that he was doing the wrong thing.

  He swallowed hard. ‘You promise you don’t think it’s too much?’

  ‘No Greg, no. I’m sure it will be perfect. Don’t worry about that,’ Jeff said. ‘It will be like something out of the movies.’

  Greg felt himself relax ever so slightly. ‘I guess I’m just nervous.’

  ‘You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t nervous about asking a woman to marry you. And where is Karen tonight? I’m assuming she’s not home at the moment if you’re talking freely about rings and proposals.’

  Greg pushed his worry aside and embarked on a new line of conversation. ‘I just got off the phone with her actually, she has a meeting.’

  ‘Quite the spitfire she is, isn’t she? Working two days before Christmas, when everyone else in New York is knee-deep in festivities. She has quite the work ethic.’

  Greg heard the smile in his dad’s voice. ‘She does,’ he confirmed. ‘I’m proud of her. She is doing so well. She deserves her success.’

  ‘As do you, Greg. Don’t forget about what you’re doing either. It’s important, and remember that I’m proud of you, too.’

  Greg felt his hands shake ever so slightly. He certainly felt appreciative of his father’s praise, but knew that he would feel better when he actually sold something and made Karen feel confident about his choice.

  ‘Thanks, Dad, I appreciate it. And I’ll see you tomorrow, OK? Just don’t forget about the ring.’

  ‘I won’t. Looking forward to seeing you, and Karen too.’

  Greg ended the call and couldn’t help but feel sad for his father. For too long now, his dad had tried putting on a brave face, but he knew that the holidays must be hitting home for him. There was no denying that the apartment was big when you were rattling around in it by yourself.. Greg missed the way things used to be, his mother’s bright smile when he walked through the door, her laugh as she described something funny. He could only imagine how it must feel for Jeff who had to face the situation day after day, and try and find the strength to get through it. Greg felt a lump in his throat. His father was a hell of a lot braver than he was.

  Chapter 24

  The following morning – the day before Christmas Eve – dawned clear and bright in Manhattan. Jeff Matthews lay in the large king-sized bed with his eyes closed, enjoying the last few moments of that state that was somewhere in between the dream world of sleep and wakefulness.

  He was still in a place where dreams were reality and the harshness of daylight was nothing but a small blur on an otherwise clear horizon. He automatically reached to the other side of the bed, intent on pulling his lovely wife close to him for a kiss and a snuggle. But as he stretched his arm out, he was only greeted with empty space and cold sheets. It was then that he remembered that his wife was no longer beside him.

  He thought that he had been dealing well with everything up until now, but the last couple of weeks had been hard. The mere fact that the holiday season was in full swing wasn’t making it any easier, and many of the feelings that he thought were starting to normalise in his soul were once again amplified, and throbbing, like a healing wound that had just been freshly split open.

  Jeff sat up in bed once he felt ready to face the day ahead, and looked out of his bedroom window to where Central Park lay under a sheet of white. He had always loved the way the park looked in winter and he remembered how Cristina always said that around Christmas time it was an island in a sea of wonder.

  ‘OK, enough of this. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself and start your day,’ he told himself in a committed and commanding voice. He smiled as he remembered another of his wife’s favourite sayings – this one about life: ‘You bring your own weather to the picnic.’ It was a good philosophy, as were most of Cristina’s views on life

  He gave a small laugh and pushed himself out of bed. The world wasn’t going to wait and he did have plenty to do today.

  ‘I have to get that ring for Greg, that’s important job number one, and then I have to get these presents wrapped,’ he said thoughtfully. While the ring was easily found, Jeff had to admit the idea of wrapping presents for his son and soon-to-be future daughter-in-law was daunting in and of itself. Cristina had always done all the wrapping of the presents and they had always looked lovely. Like something right out of a department store display. Whereas he knew anything wrapped by him was sure to look like a first grader’s attempt at arts and crafts time.

  And that was probably insulting to first graders. Jeff laughed. He thought for a second and remembered that Maria was coming in this morning – he would ask her. Getting dressed and then pulling the presents that he had bought out of the closet, he stacked the gifts on the kitchen island in two piles, one for Greg and one for Karen. Then he started writing some cheques for everyone else and stuffing them in cards. There was one for Maria, one for the concierge downstairs, one for the building’s doorman, elevator attendant, mailman and superintendent. All the people who kept day-to-day life on track. He’d be sure to distribute all of them that afternoon in order to ensure that Christmas cheer was efficiently delivered.

  As he was finishing up, he heard the key turn in the front door lock and he knew
that Maria had arrived. Putting her gift envelope to the side, and then thinking again and putting it in his pocket, he turned around with a smile on his face just as she walked in the room.

  ‘Ah, Maria my dear. Merry Christmas, or should I say, Feliz Navidad?’

  Maria laughed and rolled her eyes. ‘Nice Spanish accent, Mister Jeff,’ she said, in a voice that indicated that she had been born and raised in Brooklyn.

  ‘I just thought I would honour your heritage.’

  ‘You know I’m Puerto Rican, and not Mexican, right?’

  ‘Same language,’ Jeff said.

  ‘Yeah, and you speak about as much Spanish as I do,’ she laughed, swatting him aside to put her purse down. ‘In Brooklyn, we just say “Merry Christmas”.’

  ‘All right, all right, point taken.’ Jeff reached into his pocket. ‘And this, my dear, is for you.’ He presented Maria with the envelope.

  She smiled. ‘Aw, thanks Mister Jeff, is this a bribe?’

  ‘Of course not. It’s your Christmas gift!’ he said with his hands up, and then he gave somewhat of a guilty grin. ‘OK, but I also need your help.’

  Maria shook her head playfully. ‘I knew there was a “but”. OK then, spill it.’

  Jeff flicked his eyes to the pile of presents on the kitchen counter. ‘Um, well, I was wondering if you might … ’

  Maria followed his gaze. ‘Wrap the presents? I have been wrapping presents for my kids until my fingers bleed just so I wouldn’t have to do it at the last minute, and where does that get me? Wrapping presents for you on the eleventh hour, jeez!’

  Jeff smiled. As much as Maria pretended to be inconvenienced, he knew she didn’t mind really. She was witty and amusing, and her ability to ‘call it like she saw it’ was something that had always tickled Jeff.

  ‘Please Maria? I’ll be absolutely lost without your help.’ Jeff presented his hands as if in prayer and got down on one knee.

  Maria laughed. ‘You ever hear of gift bags?’ Then she sighed. ‘All right, get up off your knee, old man, before you break a hip. That’s the last thing I need today is another trip to the ER. Had to go yesterday, and if there is anywhere crazier than Fifth Avenue at Christmas, it’s the ER. Nothing says “Happy Holidays” better than wounded kids and sick people.’