“My visions have never been wrong honey. I have been having them since I was younger than you…never has one been wrong yet.” She takes my hand into hers gently. “Not that I wished some of them were wrong…many many times I wished that.”
“It is this time… I just can’t be with anyone.” I sigh, suddenly feeling sick. “Todd was like my first serious boyfriend Gram…he even acted like we might get married after college…it makes me sick…all his lies.”
“I know it hurts Corrine, but that pain will fade. I know Todd betrayed your trust, but this young man I see coming into your life is nothing like him. His heart is good. I see no evil in him…like Todd. The fates have been set in motion already. It is rare I can alter such events even if I foresee them coming as I just did.” Her face falls as she holds my hand. “It’s just not possible.” Her voice fades into a whisper and I know she is talking about my mother’s death.
“You mean Mom? You saw her death and could not alter her future, that’s what you mean?”
“Yes.” She looks sadly down at the floor. I was powerless. Her cancer was too far-gone. I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner…so maybe the doctors could have done something to stop it from spreading.” She shakes her head as the painful memory fills her mind. “I could do nothing. It’s the worst thing in the world…to watch your own child die. I pray you never ever have to suffer through something like that.”
“But I can change this vision Gram. I just won’t go outside. I won’t meet anyone. It’s not like I’m sick it’s just the fact I need to not meet this guy you’re talking about.”
Gram drops her shoulders clearly drained from the visions and from my arguing. She takes my other hand looking into my eyes. “Do what you feel is best but if this vision is meant to be, hiding will do you no good. I love you…but what happens next you may not be able to control.” She slowly gets up pulling my blankets up around me and patting my head. “Get some sleep, honey. It’s been a long day.” I smile weakly; still sure, I can avoid her vision if I try hard enough.
“Sorry I got mad. I didn’t mean to.”
She smiles, tilting her head. “Ah… I know dear. It’s a lot to take in. I know you are very vulnerable right now, but you will survive this. I promise.”
I flip open my phone to check my messages after Gram closes my door. I have tons of them. I guess I forgot to call back a few people. I listen to them, and the fifth message makes my blood run cold. I hear Todd’s voice as I clench my sheets in fear.
“Hey it’s me. I will be stopping by very soon to finish what we started. If you thought this was over, you are dead wrong. You screwed up my life and now I’m going to screw up yours. You had better live it up while you can, because I am coming for you, and you are going to die. If I’m going to be locked up, I am going to make it count (laughing) that’s if they can catch me. (pause) Sweet dreams now. I hear I am all you dream about.”
I hit number seven without thinking to delete the message, as if it will delete him. My heart is pounding. I drop the phone and wrap my arms around myself and start sobbing, rocking back and forth in shock. I think now only of the razor blade I have hidden in my bathroom. I can end it all. I can stop all of the pain, the fear, the torment; all I have to do is go get it. I know it now. I am insane. I cry so hard I fall asleep before I can go to the bathroom and look for that razor. I have lived one more night… but I couldn’t promise myself I would make it through tomorrow.
Chapter 3
Healing
I spend the next few weeks in more therapy. Gran found that razor I had hidden the very next morning. She said she had a glimpse of what I was thinking in a dream after she left my room. The very next morning she marched into my bathroom got the razor, grabbed my wrist (I’d been hiding the bandage under long sleeve shirts), pulled back my shirtsleeve, and saw the band-aid. I would never forget the look on her face. It was the same one she had the night before when she spoke of my mom and her death. I was taken downstairs where she told my dad.
I was thankful Sara was out shopping as she usually was. Dad called my therapist and I was basically on suicide watch now. I was never alone for three weeks strait and my therapist upped my all medications. I stayed in a haze until I got Dad to let me take my own pills. I began to cut them in half so I could feel half as numb as I had been. I didn’t even know where I was most of the time, before that.
I felt suffocated as Gram slept in a pullout cot in my room. She waited for me outside the bathroom as I showered or did anything with the door closed. I had overheard Dad and Sara one night arguing about sending me to a special hospital (code for nut house). Thankfully, Dad said no way in heck. He was working with my doctors to keep me home, unless I tried to hurt myself again. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking about that much anymore.
Sara argued if people found out about all my problems, it would tarnish our family name; so typical of her. She also mentioned people at the country club were talking about me. Sara was more worried I would never get a date or marry well, if the truth about my mental condition was known. I knew they all meant well…maybe even Sara in her own twisted way. They were only trying to save me from myself. I had officially become my own worst enemy.
I was doing better, a few months had passed and Todd was still on house arrest, but he had not called me since the night after Gram’s vision. Dad’s lawyer was working on getting a trial date, since my blood work did show high levels of a date rape drug. It would only be a month or two more before the court date was set. I only hated the idea of going up in front of a jury and re living that horrible night all over again. Two other girls were also set to testify against Todd. I hadn’t heard what he did to them, but I was sure I would very soon.
Also, Mr. Perfect (the one Gran had seen in her visions) had not shown his mysterious face yet (thank God). I was starting to relax a little knowing if Todd stepped an inch out of his house the cops would be all over him. Dad also hired a security team to watch the house at all times. I was getting used to seeing them walk the area around our house, and I even knew most of them by name.
I was still in therapy, only two days a week now and I was taking less of my medication. I had noticed I was still very tired almost all the time. I figured it was the antidepressants but at times, I just felt like sleeping all day, that part I really hated. Gran had been watching me as usual. I knew she saw I was having trouble. She saw me make excuses to go to my room when my energy level just bottomed out. I hid the fact I had been having migraines to go with the tiredness. I didn’t want to deal with more doctors so I suffered in silence.
The one bright spot in my days had been that I had started riding my horse Wind Song again. My doctor even said that riding was therapeutic for me. I had given up riding, after the attack. Up until that night I rode every day, and even competed at two or three horse shows a month. I began to really enjoy my time alone with my horse just riding, and looking at the fall leaves. I roamed all over our property blocking out all my problems. I would let my mind just wander. I let myself escape reality for a few hours every day.
I went riding as often as I could. The weather had been nice but was getting colder more each day as fall was ending. I dreaded when it started to snow. I would not get to go riding as much. I especially liked escaping Sara. She had been on my case to go out more and go back for my sophomore year in college. I had thought about it and was just about ready to do that, but not because she was pushing it.
Kara and Beth, my two very best friends, were coming over that evening. We planned on watching some scary movies and eating junk food. It would be like the typical girls night, like we use to have before I lost my mind. I missed silly things, like talking about who was dating whom and what was in style. My world now was too dramatic, and heavy. I longed to be carefree again and not so weighed down.
They got to my house on time. We had the house to ourselves tonight for a little while anyway. Dad was in Chicago with Sara for some benefit dinner. Gran was at bingo at the sen
ior center. We made popcorn and chocolate chip cookies shortly after they arrived. They filled me in on all the latest gossip from school and told me what they had been up to.
“I could explode,” Kara, sighed we all groaned in agreement. “I haven’t eaten like that in months.” I put my head on the couch as Beth flipped her long braids back and got up to turn off the movie. I had always envied her. She had the most lovely mocha skin and super long legs unlike me. Kara was as fair skinned as I was but had short red hair that spiraled into curls. She also had a sprinkle of freckles, which she hated, but we all thought were cute.
The three of us had been inseparable since first grade. We had been through every teen crisis together from zit’s to periods and bad break ups. They had been by my side through all of my recent problems too or nightmares, however you want to put it. Many of my other friends couldn’t understand what I had just gone through with Todd, but Kara and Beth did. They had both stayed by my side, even at my craziest points.
I was enjoying myself now, a rare occasion for me these days. It was nice to just have girl time: no drama, no tension. Kara got a wicked smile on her face as she put the DVD back in the case after we watched it.
“So have you met your new neighbors Corrine?” She winks at Beth. I knew they were up to something. They were always up to something they thought was good for me. Kara grinned as she looked at Beth.
“Yeah, have you seen them or should I say him?” She chuckled as she popped some chips into her mouth. I had to hide my inner flinch at the word him. Really, I didn’t care who my new neighbors were and I especially didn’t care if it was some guy.
“I saw the him, he looks our age.” gushed Kara. “He is like way hot. He has that spiky Edward Cullen hair thing going on.” She motions around her head. “You know…Edward Cullen…Twilight…duh!”
“Who doesn’t know about Twilight Kara…seriously?” Beth laughs. “I’m so team Jacob though!” She throws a piece of popcorn at Kara’s head.
“Definitely not….Edwards cuter!” Kara looks to me for added support.
“Ok…I have to stick with Edward Beth…sorry.” I like any red blooded American girl cannot hide my love of all things related to the Twilight book series or Edward Cullen. “Seriously though…vampires and phasing wolves aren’t real and neither is any guy remotely like Edward Cullen. Rob Pattison is real…but sorry girls you’d have to fight Kristen Stewart for him.” I laugh as Kara pretends to faint.
“I can dream can’t I…maybe some guy is like Edward…maybe even a vampire?”Kara laughs.
“You're nuts.” Beth shakes her head. “I’d take any half way decent guy…vampire or wolf.”
I have to laugh at them, and the silliness of anything remotely like Twilight being real is a nice break for me. I watch them laughing and teasing, and feel almost like myself again, and I like the feeling a lot.
“Oh ok…ok so your new neighbor is cute. That’s what I was trying to explain to you two weirdo’s!” Kara gets back to the original topic of our discussion as she picks several pieces of pop corn out of her hair.
“Where did you see him?” Beth squeals.
“Oh, calm down. He was just at the mall. My mom pointed him out. She sold his family their house.” Kara announces knowingly. Her mom is a real estate agent and a major gossip, so Kara is always well informed. “My mom said he’s an only child. He does have a really big extended family that’s lived around here for a long time. I don’t know much about them. I do know he’s in college, a sophomore this year just like us!”
“To cool, what else do you know?” Beth’s cheeks flush red. The girl has been on the hunt for a serious boyfriend since eighth grade. I try not to laugh at her enthusiasm. Kara gets up and looks out the window deep in thought.
‘Well… I know they are like totally loaded, like old money loaded. His grandfather founded some major medical kind of thing. I forgot what it was. His dad is the owner of like two major companies and in the stock market and all that stuff. I also heard he’s been going to school in Europe for the past few years…how cool is that?” They look at each other. I am hoping they aren’t planning to set me up with him. “He has gorgeous wavy black hair, and is about six feet tall or close to it.” Kara rattles on. I tried to listen, tried to act as if I cared, but anymore talking about boys was not high on my agenda at all.
“You’re quiet Corrine, what’s up?” Beth scans my face. I shrug my shoulders, trying to hide my feelings.
“Oh just tired; it’s nothing.” I sit back with a sigh.
“I have an idea.” Kara gets up clapping her hands together. “Let’s go meet the new guy and his family.” Her face lights up. “We could bring over cookies or something, you know, be neighborly and all that.”
“Oh hell no, you guys go meet him. I am not.” I groan. The whole deal sounded like sheer torture to me.
“Corrine, you can’t tell me you’re not a little curious.” Kara pushes. I luck out. We hear Gram come in; our party is over for now. Gram is a stickler for me getting my rest, so the girls would have to call it a night. All of us hugged and promised to call each other. As I closed the door, I took a deep breath, glad all the talk of this new guy next door was over.
Chapter 4
Fate Steps In
My doctor had told me I was making progress. I really couldn’t tell myself. I had expected to be back at school by now. I had thought wrong. I didn’t realize how much stress going back would cause me. I thought it would be easy, but apparently, I was wrong. It seems I wasn’t as strong as I felt and my doctors knew it.
My therapist had a meeting with my dad and me. She had evaluated me and had decided I was still mentally unstable to deal with typical social situations. I was nuts in other words, how nice for me (not). I had really thought I was ready, well, most of the time. I didn’t think everyday social situations would freak me out, but my therapist clearly did.
I still had some nightmares, and a few panic attacks, and the thought of meeting new people made me want to hide in a hole. My doctor assured me in a few more months those would lessen and going back to school would be an option. I had decided to go ride Windy again despite the cold after hearing this depressing news. I needed to get out of the house desperately before I suffocated. Hearing I was basically mentally unstable, made we want to run and hide. My only escape now was a good long ride on my horse.
The next morning I planned a long trail ride out in the back of our property. I woke up with a supreme headache as usual. I gulped down three Tylenol and hoped for the best. I wanted to spend the day alone and that meant riding all day. I headed down to grab a bite to eat before I headed to the barns. Gram was my only company, thankfully when I got to the kitchen. I found a pop tart in the cabinet to eat; she was reading the newspaper and drinking her coffee.
“What are you up to today honey?” She smiled, her blue eyes fixed on me.
“I’m going riding. I need to get out of the house for a while today.” I munched away as she folded her paper up.
“Watch the weather.” She frowned. “I feel snow moving in. I get the aches you know, in my knees.” I only nodded. My mouth was full.
“Okay, I’m not going to be out too far so don’t worry. Just along the tree line.”
“I have to drive a friend to the doctor in an hour so take your cell phone if you have any problems.” She kissed my forehead and hurried out the door.
I thought she was gone but she was back just a few seconds later, a worried look on her face. “Corrine, are you feeling well? I just had a feeling you were not.”
My eyes got wide I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m fine; nothing to report.”
She stares at me, her face tense. “You’re not thinking of harming yourself, are you?” She asked. Her voice wavering. “I know the news about school was bad yesterday. I know you wanted to go back.”
I take her hand. “No, Gram. I’m not going to do anything. I’m over that now.” I tried to reassure her, even though honestly I didn�
�t know if my words were really true. “You can go out, I will be fine.” I smile at her and she hugs me tightly.
“You stay near the house okay? No riding near the river. I have an uneasy feeling about you being out that far. It’s muddy down there and your horse could slip.” She lifts my chin with her finger. “You promise me that.”
“Yes. I will stay close to the house Gram, you worry too much.” I give her a big smile. Satisfied she hugs me to death again and takes off out the back door to the garage.
I had loved horses ever since I was eight years old, and on my tenth birthday, my dad gave me Wind Song or Windy for short. She is a six-year-old mare. Windy is the sweetest tempered horse I had ever seen. She put up with me as I learned to ride and as I got better we started doing horse shows and even placed a few times. My stepmother hated horses. She thought Dad giving me her was dangerous and reckless of him. The fact Dad raised show horses and we have fourteen other horses on our estate apparently slipped her mind.
Ever After Page 3
