Pole Position

by Karen Botha

  I glance quickly at Axel, only to see his face also shining wet from tears. He pokes out the tip of his tongue to stem the flow dripping over his top lip. Without thinking I throw my arm over his shoulders and pull him into me in an enormous hug, which is as much for my benefit as his. Kissing the top of his head, I whisper so that only he can hear, “Welcome to the family.” His eyes meet mine, and we laugh, one of those ugly laughs when you’re too busy crying to be able to control how your mouth forms so it comes out as a splutter. Yep, we both produce one of those. And it feels amazing.

  Elliott waves down at us, showering us in the contents of the magnum of champagne he’s spraying. We wave up at him, cheering, still laughing and suddenly needing to guzzle the neck of that bottle that’s he’s now emptying over Trevor, who collected the constructors’ trophy.

  Elliott

  There is no way I won’t celebrate this. It’s my first win back, so we’ve taken the team out to some unnamed bar, the location of which is unimportant, as anywhere would do. This is about us letting loose and riding the crest of the wave after everyone’s hard work in getting me back to form. I’ve already bought champagne back at the factory and stored it away in a cupboard especially for this day, so the entire team is quite frankly drunk as skunks. The fact that this is the last race before the summer holidays is even better timing for us all to kick back and celebrate a job well done.

  “This is one of the best nights of my life,” I scream into Kyle’s ear as we writhe our groins on the dance floor to some terrible techno music.

  “And mine. And Axel’s. He was crying, too. Could you see him?”

  “No, but I saw you with your arm around him. That will be in the papers tomorrow. This is becoming impossible to deny.”

  We both look over to where he’s throwing back shots with some of the younger mechanics.

  “His head will ache in the morning. I’m glad he’s coming back with us on the jet. He would not enjoy a commercial flight with the shade of green he’s going to be,” Elliott shakes his head, a smile curving his lips.

  “Does he remind you of how you were back in the day?” Kyle nibbles at the shell of my ear as he leans in.

  My stomach lurches as it always does when he’s close, but I answer his question. “You read my mind. It could be me over there.”

  “His hair is a little shorter, but other than that, he’s the spitting image of a younger you. It’s so obvious when you see the photographs of you. Oh, and don’t get me started on his personality. You know that temper is from you.”

  He’s right and I smile, not needing to justify myself to the person who accepts me one hundred percent for who I am, quirks and all. He’s the one person with whom I can truly be myself. “It’s odd, but it’s nice. Kind of like, I’m able to keep on living that life, without the teenage angst.”

  He laughs and as he does his chest moves against mine. “Not at all egotistical then?”

  I shrug a shoulder and curve my lips, smiling more deeply with my eyes. We continue to enjoy the closeness of each other in this, a show of our combined strength as we move to the dull thud of a new beat emanating from a DJ who was no doubt expecting to play to an empty room this Sunday evening.

  “Shall we make a getaway?” Kyle kisses my ear, nibbles my lobe, drops his sultry lips to my neck.

  The shockwaves that shatter my nerves from just that slightest of touches tells me he’s right. It is definitely time to leave.

  Five minutes later, we’ve said our goodbyes, and as I take a final glance over my shoulder at my victory parade, committing that final snapshot to memory, I notice Florian and Axel are close. Not in proximity, but something about the way they’re interacting strikes me as intimate.

  I push the niggling thought out of my mind and concentrate on my own brand of intimacy with the man I adore.

  Kyle

  It’s Jessie, not Axel, who calls me in the morning. She’s been taking more of a step back every race, preparing Axel for taking over from her, and it’s only when she calls that I realize I’ve barely seen her this trip. A sure sign that Axel is doing a great job.

  “Have you seen the papers?” She asks, her tone higher pitched than normal. I hear her flipping pages over the line.

  “No, why?”

  “Come and meet me for breakfast in the trailer. Now.”

  When I get there, she’s ignoring the pile of newspapers to her right, having already been through every one with a fine-tooth comb. It’s the only reason she wouldn’t be paging through them now.

  “What is it? What couldn’t wait?”

  She makes a point of inhaling, shaking her head, picking the top one up and flipping it to the sports pages with a noisy exhalation.

  My mouth forms the shape to ask, ‘What?’ but the word never has the chance to exit as the headline smashes me between my eyes, along with a huge picture of Axel and me hugging at the precise moment my lips landed on his hair.

  “THREESOME OR AFFAIR?”

  “Fucking pieces of shit.” My chest thunders with anger that they could not only get this so wrong, but that we have given them the ammunition with which to do it. This was always going to happen.

  I read on as the piece goes on to invite readers to vote via some new app they have as to whether Elliott and I are in bed with Axel, or if it’s just me. Apparently the results will be published online live.

  “They’re all the same.” Jessie hands me the pile of remaining papers with a thump.

  “What can we do about this?” I shake my head, flicking from one back page to the next.

  “We can come out and tell them the truth. That will give them something else to run off and feature, or we can ignore it and push it down with our own positive stories about yesterday.”

  “They don’t even discuss how amazing it is that Elliott came back from his injuries. I’d expected the papers to be full, but with him, and the positivity surrounding what he’s achieved. This is a perfect chance for him to be the inspiration to people who have also suffered sudden debilitation to show that mental power can achieve anything.”

  “I know, it’s crazy.” She lays her hand over one of the papers, covering the image of Axel and me.

  I make a snap decision. I’d usually speak to Elliott about this, but I am raging. “I will not give them any more fuel for their fire. They can fuck off.” I hiss the words through gritted teeth.

  Jessie nods, “Axel is none of their business anyway, especially when they’re going to treat Elliott’s huge achievement like this. They’re a bunch of piss testicles.”

  I cock my head. It doesn’t really make sense, but I appreciate her fervor. “Push their stories down, Jessie. Get everyone on it. I want them buried.”

  Elliott

  Axel is making his own way home. The drunken little shit didn’t get out of bed in time after his party night so we’re flying back without him and he’s catching a flight later in the day.

  “You know, he’s adopting the rich kid syndrome really quickly,” Kyle warns during take-off.

  “Yep, I know.” I raise my hand and stroke the stubble layering my jaw. “But he’s never had anything so I guess I’m making up for lost time.”

  The conversation is over. He understands. But I get the impression there’s something he’s not saying. I wait it out and when the plane levels, he pulls out his bag from the overhead locker.

  “You should have a look at these. Don’t blow up. I’ve already spoken to Jessie and she’s on it.”

  He hands me a pile of newspapers and then some printouts from the web. “What’s this?” I ask, but he doesn’t reply, just indicates with a snap of his head that I should read. The atmosphere is serious, and my heart starts to race in anticipation of what I’m going to discover.

  “No!” I can’t believe it. “They didn’t want to cover my win then, more that you gave comfort to an emotional employee. Cock suckers!”

  “Yeah, exactly. Jessie is posting above it to push it down on the news-feed
s. I said we didn’t want to respond, but I thought you should see.”

  “I didn’t have time to check them this morning myself, what with waking up late.” I wink, as a memory of last night’s activities and the cause of me sleeping late filters back into my consciousness. My body warms with the thought of Kyle moving over me, his filthy whispers in my ear all the way home. It flicks to the moment when I entered him, full of jubilant power combined with a heavy dose of alcohol. The way our slick bodies moved as one, as we do through life, our celebration one of sensuality and intimacy. The intense euphoria linking us on yet another dimension, having overcome some of the toughest barriers life can place before us.

  The vibration of our energies interlinking and the power of them connects me back to this man in the present as I look at him, taking in not only his strong features, but the personality behind them. I know he will do anything to support me. “Your dad would be proud of you,” I declare without knowing I was about to.

  He looks so much like him, the thought just floated out.

  “Thank you. I think he would too. And he would be pleased at what we’ve achieved together, as a couple.”

  “It’s almost our anniversary,” I realize. Now the season has broken for a month, it always reminds me of the time four years before when I was struggling to walk down the aisle to say ‘I do.’ “How are we going to celebrate?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t have any plans. Something low key?”

  The start of an idea forms.

  Kyle

  “Is the coast clear?” Axel arrives with a grin like I’ve never seen splashed across his face.

  “In here,” I shout. I’m in my office down at the factory, apparently tying up some loose ends before our holidays. In fact, I’m meeting Axel to chat about our secret plans.

  He bounces in wearing a new outfit. “You look like you’re in a good mood. Everything OK?” I tease.

  He’s unable to wipe the ear-to-ear grin from his face and the effect suits him. “Everything is sick, thank you for asking.”

  I’m assuming sick is being used in the youthful meaning rather than the traditional from the way he’s glowing. “OK, well, I won’t pry.” I try and focus on my work, but it’s distracting not having to deal with the surly teen that I’ve unwittingly grown used to.

  He’s also developing into quite the PR guru. He has arranged for an amazing event to be held in our garden and has not missed a single detail. Everything is already in place without me having to so much as lift a finger.

  “I haven’t booked the band. I wanted you to sign off on that first. I had to put a down payment on the lighting, so I pushed that through the PR budget and I’ve organized with accounts to transfer the bill to you after the party so that Elliott doesn’t get wind of it.”

  “That’s smart. Thanks.”

  He tips his head to one side, flashing me a glow of his pink cheeks.

  “Have you met someone?” I can’t help myself. I know these kids need their privacy, but I’m only human and he is different.

  “I may have. But you keep your nose out. It’s too soon to say.”

  “Who?”

  He stares me down. “Would you like me to repeat what I just told you?”

  I hold my hands up in mock surrender. “I’ll find out eventually, you know.”

  “Yes, and when you do I’ll be comfortable with that. But, for now, keep your nose out of my business.”

  I laugh, a raucous fire exploding from my belly. It’s deep and true and happy. This is nice. Us sitting here, arranging cool stuff to do, together.

  He doesn’t find this all so amusing, and shakes his head, tapping the screen of his iPad. “So you’re happy with all of this then?”

  “I’m delighted with it. We’re going to have a blast. You’ve done an amazing job and so quickly too.”

  “It’s a good job, what with Jessie planning to leave.”

  Whoa, rewind. “As in soon?”

  “Hasn’t she mentioned it yet? She said she was going to have a word with you guys before we broke for summer.”

  “No, she hasn’t.”

  “I guess she was busy dealing with all that shit in the press about me and you,” his eyebrows waggle, mimicking how he would flirt, and I’m acutely aware that this isn’t something he’s done before. The kid is high on the first rush of love.

  Elliott

  I’ve planned a morning in bed with the love of my life to celebrate our wedding anniversary today. He’s eaten the breakfast I’ve made for him, as well as the one I didn’t cook, and is sporting a healthy glow. I’ve never felt more connected to another person, and I can’t wait to give him the gift I’ve arranged later.

  I’m taking him out now for a ride on our motorcycles while the teams of workmen Axel has organized are erecting the necessary equipment in the garden.

  It was Axel’s suggestion, and a great one.

  We haven’t been out like this, just for a jaunt, for more months than I can remember. Sure, we use our bikes to get between A and B, but we don’t run out for relaxation like we used to. As I slide the visor down this morning, I enjoy the lack of pressure in putting a helmet on for fun rather than racing. I don’t need to focus on anything more important than blowing away the cobwebs of too many late nights spent developing cars as I slip this safety equipment on.

  I’ve unzipped the neck on my leathers so that the warm wind can billow in to place cool kisses on my hot flesh while simultaneously tousling the stray hair poking out from beneath my helmet. I suck in the air as though life has never been so sweet, happy in the nothingness of the moment.

  We don’t go far. It’s only a little ways out, but in contrast to my calm, Kyle is agitated.

  “Shall we head back now?” He asks after flagging me over at the side of the road.

  “Sure, we can if you want.” I struggle to access my watch under my leather glove.

  “OK, shall I follow you?” It’s as though he has somewhere else to be.

  I shrug. “Sure. I don’t mind.”

  I spin around and cruise at a leisurely pace, enjoying the warm air and the blue skies. It’s the time of year when all the animals are out in the fields, and I smile as I spot a lamb feeding from its mother.

  Kyle charges past me, his throttle screaming, waving his hand for me to follow him.

  I don’t want to arrive back too soon. If we do, then we risk ruining the surprise being set up at our home for him.

  I lag behind, hoping he’ll notice then slow his breakneck speed.

  But he doesn’t.

  He continues to power ahead until I have no choice but to speed up and draw alongside him. I lift my visor, “What’s the rush?”

  “Nothing, just enjoying the open road, why?”

  I pull my mouth down at the corners, not really knowing why it should a problem, not that I can say anyway. “It’s nothing. You’re just quick, that’s all.” I smile, and drop back, chastising myself for being so lame at making an excuse.

  I’d hoped that he would at least drop back now and take a slower pace home with me. But, no. It’s not to be, and I’m left with no alternative but to twist down on my throttle and ride back with him.

  Kyle

  I thought the idea of going for a ride was spot on. It would get Elliott out of the way and give the crew time to set everything up. I messaged Axel this morning and told him our plans, and explained that I’ll time our return for thirty minutes after the guests arrive.

  I dressed for the occasion in my smart jeans and best t-shirt, thinking I’d have some explaining to do, but Elliott did the same. Perhaps it’s that this is a day of celebration.

  But now he’s lagging behind and we’ll have a bunch of guests at our house with no guest of honor. He needs to speed up.

  Eventually, I drag him back to the house, only ten minutes later than I’d anticipated and I’m greeted by nothing. I’d expected there to be a hive of activity, but there’s no party. No noise, no cars. Nothing at all is g
oing on.

  I scrunch my brow as I park up my bike and try and figure out what the hell is going on without spoiling the surprise. Elliott pulls up alongside me and whips his helmet off. ‘Ooh, now he’s found some speed!’

  “Come with me.” He pulls on my elbow, steering me around to the back of our house.

  There are no people, but a trail of vibrant pink petals are laid out, splashes of summer blooms against the gray stones, guiding us into the wooded area, which leads to the lake. I stop, my brain not being able to process the missing people combined with the surprise that Elliott clearly has laid down for me.

  “What’s this?” I ask, my words labored, my brow still scrunched.

  “Let’s find out” is all he says, but he rests his arm over my shoulders and steers me along the pathway of petals waiting to be carried away by a flirtatious wind. My heart is pounding but more from anticipation than nerves. Short electric shocks shoot from my heart, which is pumping so wildly, down to curl my toes, to set the base of my spine and the back of my neck on fire.

  I’m in no doubt that what I’m about to find will be amazing. My husband doesn’t do second rate. But I’m still wondering where the hell all the people are. What happened to my plans?

  I bend to avoid being clonked on the head by a low-hanging branch, and Elliott files in behind me as we come to the clearing by the lake. The act reminds me of when we were at our old house and Elliott laid out a picnic blanket complete with my mother and father as guests. The memory both warms and chills my soul with regret that my dad is no longer with us.