Cherished

by Belinda Boring

  “I can’t be weak!” he shouted and it sent a flurry of birds flying into the air as the words exploded from his mouth. “Damn you, Darcy. I have to go into that meeting soon and make decisions that heavily affect not just us, but the entire Pack, and you want me talking about my feelings?”

  “How does that make you weak? Do you think people are going to think less of you because you grieve? My goodness, you lost your sister, Mason. You almost lost me. If that’s not grounds to show a little vulnerability, I don’t know what else is. No one expects you to be perfect either.”

  “They don’t?” he scoffed. “I have the constant attention of the power hungry, who look for the slightest chink in my armor so they can exploit it. I may rule this Pack, but there are always people willing to claw their way to the top. How am I supposed to keep you safe if I have to ward off challenges?”

  “Now you’re starting to sound like me, and if I remember right, you told me all you ever expected was for me to be myself. I say take your own advice. Allow yourself at least a few moments to feel before you shut it all off. It’s not healthy. And answer me honestly, are you going to be able to keep focused when inside you’re divided? That hurt and pain you’re burying requires energy to stay that way. Wouldn’t it be better to release some of the pressure so you don’t feel so tightly wound.” I rested my ear to his chest, stroking him with my fingers. “It sounds intense in there, Mason—chaotic, and I need you to trust me now. Let some of it go if you can’t free all of it. Just do something because it’s killing me to see you like this.”

  He thrummed under my touch and I felt the subtle change in his body. He relaxed ever so slightly and then it seemed like he shattered. Choking sobs blasted out of him, and he dropped to the floor, holding his head in his hands as he wept.

  I said nothing as I joined him, gathering him into my arms so I could shelter him. To be so strong for so long was a burden and I was honored at the trust he showed by revealing how devastated he was. I know I’d told him it was okay to be vulnerable, but I understood just how against the grain it was for him to be in this state. I feathered little kisses over the top of his head and held on tight.

  The depths of his emotions were profound and seemed to go on without end. I murmured over and over it was okay and he must have found it amusing because he offered a rather cynical chuckle.

  Pulling himself back up, he lifted his head to look at me. “How is this okay? What kind of leader and mate will I be if I can’t even protect my sister? Yes, I know rationally it’s not my fault,” he said, cutting me off before I could interrupt him. “It just kills me that I wasn’t there. I watched my father be this controlling, dominating force in our family growing up. He ruled with an iron fist and too bad if you didn’t like it. It didn’t matter who it was, if you questioned him, he’d beat you back into submission. My mother had absolutely no freedom and it pained me to see her put up with his abusiveness because she was afraid for her children. My father was a monster in every sense of the word and I vowed … vowed, Darcy, I would never become like him.”

  “But you’re not, hun. You are far from that,” I gently added.

  “I’m not?” he choked, sarcasm heavy in his voice. “You have no idea how hard it is sometimes not to lock you in your room and never let you out—to watch your independence and not move to stifle it. It makes me crazy with worry I’ll lose you because I don’t trust myself if I did. It would infuriate Jasmine whenever we argued because our ideas on protecting were so different. Even now, part of me is raging over my foolishness. If I’d stopped fighting my nature, Jasmine would still be here. So you see? This is my fault—my weakness and my cross to bear.”

  “It’s not your fault and we’ll bear this together,” I answered, pulling him back into my embrace. My fingers found his hair and I began to tenderly stroke his head.

  “Oh gosh, how can I carry this?” He sobbed again, his body convulsing. Anguish poured off him and I quietly let him vent.

  “I miss her so much. Her smile, the way she used to say my name when I teased her. You never realize just how much someone means to you until they’re gone. What devastates me is I never got to say goodbye. I don’t even think I told her I loved her when she left. I thought there was plenty of time and now I feel cheated and angry. Gary stole from me … from us. There are so many things I’ll never be able to do with my baby sister because of a man’s obsession with something he couldn’t have.” He took a deep breath in between his outburst before continuing. “She came to me the other day to share she’d been having dreams of a man she didn’t recognize. Dreams where he told her he was her mate and he was coming for her. She was so excited and needed to know what her big brother thought about it.”

  Leaning back, I saw his eyes widen as he remembered. “You should’ve seen the way her eyes sparkled, Darcy. She could barely contain her excitement, bouncing around in her seat like she was about to explode. We must have talked for an hour as she asked me question after question. Who did I think he was? Where was he? Could she trust the dream? I couldn’t help laughing, her enthusiasm was so addicting. I don’t know if it will ever come to past, but what if it was true? Am I supposed to wait for that future knock on the door and have to share with a stranger that the woman he was expecting is gone?” His voice broke. “No happily ever after for her. No babies … no future. All gone in the blink of an eye.”

  I tried to speak, but couldn’t. My own tears coursed down my face as I listened to the man I love bare his soul.

  “I don’t ever want to fail like that again. I need to be strong so I should forewarn you, don’t kill me if I start to get a little possessive and over protective. I don’t mean to, but I’m fighting instincts here. Just be patient.”

  “Whatever you need, I love you. And Jasmine … she was so proud of you,” I whispered when I finally found my voice. “You’re a good man. Don’t ever doubt it.”

  We huddled together in silence, caught up in the truthfulness of the moment. Gone was the thrumming and buildup of magic. The aggression and anger from before had also abated and I could sense his fatigue. I don’t think he realized just how much he had bottled until he pulled the cork and let it out.

  “Was that good enough, babe?” he chuckled, his body putty under my hands. “I didn’t scare you away with my sappiness?” I could sense the mood changing as he began to bring himself back together.

  “Never. You’re stuck with me forever.” I leaned forward and kissed him lightly.

  “Good, because I’d accept nothing less. I love you, Darcy.” He smiled and this time it reached his eyes. “And thank you. I’ll admit, I do feel better and not so heavy inside.”

  “Then that’s all that matters. You’re not alone anymore. You have me and I will always be here to listen. We strengthen each other and there’s nothing to be ashamed of needing a little help. There’s no weakness in it.” I made sure to put emphasis on the last part. I didn’t want him walking away thinking I felt he was less of a man because he’d shown his emotions.

  “I hear you.” He slowly pulled himself up and reached down to lift me. “Ugh.”

  I looked at him. “I hope that ugh wasn’t referring to the fact you think I’m heavy.” I raised my eyebrow at him, waiting.

  “No, even I’m not that stupid.” He laughed as he dodged the swing of my arm. “It’s Daniel. He’s almost frantic wondering where we are.”

  We helped dust each other off, brushing away pieces of leaves and dirt. I heard the movement of a rabbit, hopping through the foliage and noted the sounds of the woods had returned. The crisis had been averted.

  Walking back in the direction of the house, we swung our arms between us as we held hands. I looked down at our fingers entwined together, and couldn’t help but smile. Yep, we were okay.

  I flashed him some images of what else I wanted to see entwined, expecting to get a response, but Mason looked like he was enjoying his surroundings. I added a little heat to my thoughts, sending them back along the
pathway and was rewarded with that sexy smile I loved so much.

  “Really? You promise?” he questioned, his temperature spiking with arousal.

  “And then some.” I sent him a new image that caused even me to blush.

  When I got no reaction, I sighed heavily. I was getting tired of how sporadic my connection with him was acting. One thing I noticed was it was practically flawless when I was in close proximity to him while in wolf form. It kind of made sense, but it wasn’t good enough. Seeing we spent most of our day and night as humans, I really needed it to work perfectly each and every time.

  I gasped as an idea flashed through my mind and fear rushed through me. Please, please don’t make that be why.

  “What if my connection problem is because we’re mismatched?” I blurted out.

  “Mismatched?” he asked, a confused look on his face.

  “Yeah, what happens if I got the wrong wolf? What if she was supposed to go to someone else and there was some big cosmic mix up?” I knew I sounded delusional, but at this point I was clutching at straws.

  Mason ran his fingers through my hair, separating some of the strands now they were drying. “Babe, it doesn’t work like that, remember? Each of us are born with a wolf that is unique to us, one that brings us balance and helps us be complete. There is no such thing as mix ups, or wrong deliveries, or whatever. You and your wolf were destined to be together. You strengthen and help one another when the other is weak. I’m sure if you asked her, she’d tell you the same thing. It’s a soul connection that can’t be denied or replicated. There’s something else at work here, trust me on that.”

  “Okay.” I couldn’t help the way my voice wavered with uncertainty.

  He brought my gaze back to his and kissed me softly. “Trust me.”

  “Okay. I love you.”

  “I love you too,” he replied before deepening the kiss.

  I sank into Mason, reveling in how amazing his lips felt against mine. I don’t know how long we stood there, caught up in the moment, but when he finally broke away, I was a little lightheaded. I grinned at the idea I was becoming a swooning werewolf.

  “You ready to face the music? Daniel says Devlin is there and he’s getting more and more impatient. For someone who’s immortal and has all eternity before him, he doesn’t care for being made to wait. Apparently some of the younger cubs have locked themselves in their rooms because they said he was staring at their necks.”

  I laughed at the image in my mind, of the devilishly handsome vampire licking his fangs at them. It was exactly something the cheeky Enforcer would do.

  “Poor things. Hasn’t anyone told them he’s just a big softy?”

  “Only around you, Darcy. From the images Daniel showed me, it was too funny so everyone there just let them go.” He chuckled. “We good?” He peered down into my eyes.

  “We’re more than good. Race you back to the house.” I took off running.

  ****

  I couldn’t stop giggling at the sense of freedom I felt, even though I knew what lay ahead of me. This time with Mason had truly been an elixir to my soul and helped restore a lot of the confidence I’d lost. My feet flew across the ground as I tried to watch for holes and fallen logs. The last thing I needed was to stumble and injure something.

  I expected him to pass me because he was definitely the faster of us both, and when I didn’t hear him coming, I figured he liked the “view” better from where he was. I tried to put a little wiggle as I moved, but when I almost fell, I gave up sexy for speed. Problem was I still wasn’t hearing him behind me. He was stealthy, but not so good he could move without making a sound.

  I came to a complete stop and whipped around, my hair flying everywhere and I had to take a moment to pull it away from my face. All I could see was forest. No Mason.

  A black wolf flew through a batch of low hanging leaves and I realized that the rotten punk was cheating. It reminded me when challenging a werewolf; make sure I was specific because they’ll look for any loophole to win. I hadn’t said how we’d race home so he changed into his wolf form, having the ultimate advantage. There was no way in heck I’d beat him unless I quickly shifted myself.

  Another myth was that werewolves can change at will—whenever, wherever and however many times they wanted. In theory, it made sense, but after repeatedly trying to do it, I found it takes longer each time and can be painful. All that shifting of muscle and bone takes a toll on the body and where magic alleviates most of the strain, there is a limit to just how much it can do. Time was needed to recharge and gather strength. There’s a price for all magic, regardless of species, and I’d already changed twice in the last twenty four hours.

  I reached out to my wolf, getting a sense of how she was feeling. I expected some sort of lethargic energy, but she was rearing to go. I puzzled over it, and discerned a power I knew instantly as Mason’s. He was channeling some of his own Alpha power to me, lending me the strength so I could and catch up. I didn’t quite understand the gist of it all, but being Alpha came with some pretty amazing abilities and I couldn’t wait to learn more about them.

  I signaled quietly to my wolf that we could change and felt the process begin. It happened rapidly this time and before I knew it, I was barreling as fast as I could after Mason, quickly gaining on him. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know he was pacing himself, not really exerting much of an effort.

  With a howl of exuberance, I breezed past him, my tongue lolling out the side of my mouth as if to mock him and I kicked up dirt in my eagerness to beat him home. I could hear him pick up speed when he realized I stood a real chance and knowing he’d never live it down, he almost caught up.

  You’re a cheater Mason O’Connor. I laughed as I sent a scandalous image to him with my mind. There was a loud bang behind me and a quick glance told me my trick had worked. Mason was tangled ball of paws and fur, having ran into the gate that secured the property. That’d teach him to mess with me.

  That was a dirty trick, Darcy.

  Well, I’ve learned from the best. First one home gets all the hot water.

  I broke into the yard and entered the house to the squealing of everyone I passed. It wasn’t unusual to see the young cubs in wolf form, playing around, but not so much the older wolves.

  “No running in the house, you two,” Daniel bellowed as I barged past him, almost pushing him back over the chair. “Oh I’m sorry, Your Most Impressive Duke of All Things Furry. Proceed as you will,” he directed at the wolf directly behind me. His comment almost undid me as I imagined the face Mason would’ve pulled had he been human.

  A yelp of pain and a rapid burst of cussing told me he’d taught the irreverent jokester a lesson in manners and I was able to make it into my room with moments to spare. The shift back took seconds.

  A snout became visible around the door way and I rushed forward with the intention of slamming the door and locking it before Mason could enter. By the grace of God, I managed and I leaned back against the hard surface, gasping for breath.

  The door handle rattled and I felt someone pounding against the door. “Let me in, Darcy. That wasn’t a fair race so I deserve to have the shower first.” He beat on the entry again for extra emphasis.

  “Fine then, go to one of the other four bathrooms. Heaven knows, we don’t have to share.” The idea of bathing with Mason after the passion that had stirred earlier started a slow burn below. I shook my head as I moved away toward the bathroom entrance. I had no idea how we would last until the mating ritual.

  “Now go be a good wolf and get changed so we can take care of business. Leave me in peace and I’ll meet you outside in ten minutes.” Judging from the silence on the other side of the wall, Mason had already moved on, seeking his own shower.

  Nerves began to twist in my stomach as I closed over the curtain and turned the faucets on, testing the temperature with my right hand. The water was hot and the room quickly filled with steam. I let out a loud groan as the beating of the h
eated spray started to melt away the tension.

  I began to scrub my hair, lathering it up with my favorite scented shampoo. With my eyes closed, I reached for the loofah. Not finding it hanging where I usually placed it, I began feeling around and gasped when I found something unexpected.

  “All the other bathrooms were taken,” Mason’s voice was low and rumbly. I felt him moved slightly then begin to scrub my back. He applied just the right amount of pressure and I let out another groan of appreciation. He moved down to the base of my back before crouching down to wash my legs.

  “We don’t have time for this. Any longer, they’ll send out a search party, Devlin in the lead.”

  “No need to panic.” He laughed, taking the time to apply more of my favorite body wash and creating suds. “Just let me wash you up. It’s about me taking care of you and one last chance to pamper my beautiful mate. I want no doubt in that mind of yours how much you’re loved.”

  I grinned at him, careful not to get soap in my eyes and relaxed into him, enjoying the feel of his strong hands moving me about as he tended to me.

  “Repeat after me. I am loved and I am cherished.”

  I opened my eyes to peer at him and I met with a serious expression.

  “Come on, say it.”

  I took a deep breath and sighed. “I am loved and I am cherished.”

  “Good. Now turn around and let me get your front.”

  It didn’t take too long after that before he had me wrapped in a large towel as he rubbed me dry before pushing me back into the bedroom. I quickly grabbed a pair of faded jeans and t-shirt, a comfortable silence between us. After running a brush through my hair, I turned around to find him ready with his game face on.

  Silently, we exited and headed toward his office, hand in hand. With each step we took, I could feel a different kind of change come over us. I mentally prepared myself for the questions that would be asked and for the memories that would resurface as I retold the story. I prayed I would remember it all and not leave out any important detail. I was scared about what it all meant, but as I looked at the fierce Alpha beside me, I knew I’d be okay.