Only You, Butterfly

by Rae Spencer

  “And she agreed to come with you?” Darren’s face flooded with surprise.

  Tom glanced at Darren again. “John and I convinced her to take the chance. I spent two and half weeks with her where she lived before she made the decision. I went to the diner with her every night. She worked graveyards. I wanted to make sure those guys didn’t bother her.”

  “Did they try?” Clay looked over at him knowing Tom would have taken care of them.

  “They came in once, took one look at me and high tailed it out. I had to fly to L.A. for some band business so I made arrangements for a local officer to be there with her in case they came while I wasn’t.” Tom took another sip of his beer looking over at Darren noticing he was more relaxed.

  “Arianna didn’t have much. All her stuff fit in two suitcases. I made sure our plane got in late so she wouldn’t have to meet everyone before we left for the venue. I didn’t want to overwhelm her.” Tom shrugged. Everyone stared at him over his admission.

  Darren nodded, relaxing a little more.

  When Tom remained silent Darren asked, “How did she take to the bus, being with you?”

  “Arianna struggled a little.” Tom swallowed hard. How to describe Arianna’s problem without saying they were sleeping together didn’t seem possible.

  “She just told you about what happened?” Bob’s face reflected his surprise.

  Tom took another long drink of his beer. “Not at first. She didn’t like to talk about herself.”

  “Lily said the same thing. Arianna avoided talking about herself, always changed the subject,” Clay said.

  “Melissa noticed,” Scott said.

  “Amy, too,” Kevin said.

  The three women sat silently. Just waiting.

  Tom glanced over at Darren and took a deep breath. “Arianna panicked in the morning when she woke next me.”

  “Next to you?” Clay’s black brows furrowed.

  Tom flinched. It stung remembering how badly her body jerked at the feel of his next to hers.

  “Before her mind cleared and she realized where she was she’d panic at the feel of someone next to her.” Tom watched Darren both his understanding and confusion.

  “I was bothered by her reaction and asked Arianna about it. But she wasn’t willing to tell me. She said it was different waking up next to someone.” Tom rubbed the bridge of his nose again.

  “Did it stop?” Darren asked. What was Tom really getting at?

  Tom glanced around the room. “I hope so. She only told me about everything this morning.”

  “This morning?” Darren asked.

  Tom hesitated, his teeth clenching. “She woke up terrified. Her body shook. She didn’t want me to know the truth. Thought I might think of her differently. Change how I saw her and what I wanted from her.”

  “I don’t understand. Why would you change your mind?” Lily leaned around Clay looking at Tom.

  Tom smiled down at Lily and the other girls who were all watching him. They liked Arianna a lot and already considered her one of them.

  “Over the years, Arianna has been, for lack of a better word, ‘propositioned’ by many men. They didn’t want a relationship with her. They didn’t want her. They just wanted to use her for sex.” Tom glanced at Darren watching his jaw clench.

  “She was actually asked?” Kevin snapped.

  “She was offered her own place, clothes, money, anything she wanted in exchange. She declined,” Tom said.

  Scott opened his mouth, but Tom held his hand up stopping him. “Arianna was afraid if I knew the truth I would then only want to use her for sex, too, but she told me the truth, anyway.”

  “And that is?” Darren’s palms were sweaty and his heart raced.

  “Men felt it was okay, appropriate even to ask her because of where Arianna had lived for two years,” Tom said.

  “Where did she live?” Bob asked the question everyone wanted to.

  “She didn’t have anywhere to go when her mom told her to leave her grandmother’s house. She didn’t have any relatives so she made her own way.” Tom rubbed his thumb over the drop of water running down his beer bottle.

  “Where did she go?” Darren knew he wasn’t going to like what Tom was going to say.

  Tom took a deep breath. “Arianna lived on the streets for two years.”

  “What?” Everyone gasped.

  “You’re not serious.” Darren’s voice shook as the implications of what Tom said settled on his chest like a dead weight.

  Tom sighed. “Unfortunately, I am. She lived with the homeless, finding work where she could to buy food. She’s very sensitive about it.”

  Darren swallowed hard as his eyes closed.

  “She never stole anything. Never turned to prostitution or drugs. From what she said I gathered she was robbed a few times by some of the other homeless and men seeing her there thought she was a prostitute and propositioned her.” Tom gritted his teeth. He hated the thought of her living on the streets.

  “She wasn’t one, though?” Darren’s voice was barely above a whisper.

  Tom had no doubts. “No, she wasn’t. John, the cook I mentioned from the diner, hired her for graveyards when she was sixteen. When he found out Arianna lived on the streets he helped her get an apartment.”

  “In exchange for what?” Darren said.

  Tom smiled at Darren. “Nothing. John is a good man who never had kids and looked after the girls. He put Arianna in his mother’s house where she’d be safe from the men pestering her and where someone would be there to look after her.”

  “Did he live there with her?” Bob squeezed Darren’s arm.

  “No. He had Arianna work graveyards so he’d be there to keep an eye on her,” Tom said.

  “He protected her,” Clay said.

  “Very much so, which is why Arianna was confused when John agreed with me she should give me a chance. The man saw through me. He knew she had a chance not only for a better life, but a chance to get away from those who talked about her. Those who knew about her past and used it to harass her, like those three guys I mentioned earlier,” Tom said.

  “Tom, why did she wake up afraid?” Darren asked.

  Tom shrugged, Arianna hadn’t really said either way. “When it was cold out they would have fires going to keep warm, but it wasn’t always enough. Sometimes, she woke up to strangers lying next to her, cuddling with her for warmth. I got the impression sometimes others would steal from her while she was sleeping or try to take what she wasn’t offering.”

  Darren swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. Tom’s words sank in his brain. He understood what Tom meant. “Was she ever injured?”

  “She got knocked around a little, but nothing serious. She saw Debbie when the girls got back from shopping this afternoon and didn’t know how to handle the situation,” Tom said.

  “Can’t say I blame her,” Bob said.

  “No, me, either. She hadn’t seen her in six years and only once in great while when growing up.” Tom took another drink of his beer.

  “Debbie never went to see her?” Darren said.

  “Rarely. Debbie and her grandmother fought on the phone a lot, but she didn’t know why,” Tom said.

  “I can’t believe Debbie did this.” Darren fisted his hands.

  “Darren, you have tried for so long to help Debbie, but you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. You have to stop blaming yourself for her drug problem,” Bob said.

  Darren rubbed his face. “I know, Bob. This is just more than I could ever have imagined. I would have taken care of Arianna and provided for her had I known. Debbie never once even hinted we had a child. I just don’t know how she was able to hide it.”

  Bob glanced at Tom explaining to him as well. “Because we were in Europe and she was in rehab. The year in the clinic. She wouldn’t talk to you or see you during the time she was there. It would have been easy to hide her pregnancy. The doctors wouldn’t have told you because of the confid
entiality she had while there.”

  Darren pushed the heel of his hand into his eyes. “She was clean when she left the rehab. The drugs couldn’t have been the reason for what she did. It was pure spite and selfishness.”

  “She never told her mother or Arianna who you were,” Tom said.

  “Why?” Darren asked.

  Darren received no answer. No one had any to give him.

  “I'll be right back.” Tom stood walking toward the bedroom door.

  Chapter 16

  Arianna stretched and turned, reaching for Tom. She bolted up. He wasn’t there. She scanned the room looking for him, her mind whirling. The events after the concert crashed through her brain.

  Her father was here. Her father. He would have wanted her, cared for her. Or so he said? Was it true? Would he have wanted her?

  Why was her mom like that? Tom said she was a drug addict. She remembered the addicts from the streets, the stuff they did, and shivered.

  The door opened and Tom walked in his eyes finding hers and he smiled closing the door behind him. “You’re awake.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she said, her face heating up. She fell asleep and left Tom to deal with her father.

  He walked over and sat next to her cupping her chin he kissed her softly. “Don’t be sorry, Butterfly.”

  She smiled twining her fingers with his. “Is everyone still here?”

  He nodded.

  “My dad?” Wonder laced her voice.

  “Yes.” He watched her closely.

  “Do you think he really is my dad?” She stared into his eyes, judging the truth of his words.

  He brushed her lips understanding her doubt. “I’m sure he is.”

  “Why?” She tilted her head.

  He brushed his fingers down her cheek. “You share the same coloring as him. Darren has no doubts. Your mother did say he was your father.”

  She turned her face into his touch. “It’s so weird.”

  “Weird?” He brushed her lips.

  “To finally hear who my father is and to see him. I didn’t think I would ever know.” She caught his finger between her lips.

  “He’s very shook over everything, but Darren is a good man, Arianna. He never knew about you.” He pulled his finger out of her mouth and stroked her lips.

  “Do you think he’d have wanted to know about me, wants to know me?” Her old doubts coursed through her mind and fresh tears spilled onto her cheeks.

  “Of course.” He brushed her cheek wiping away the tears streaking across her freckles.

  She smiled. “I think I would like that.”

  He pulled her into his arms worried over what would happen when she and Darren talked. Darren would offer her a place to stay, money to take care of herself. Would she go? Would she leave him for her father? Tom closed his eyes tightly. He couldn’t think like that. He needed to be happy she found her father.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck lifting her head and kissed him. His mouth opened under the pressure of hers and her tongue slid inside.

  He laid back on the bed, her body on top of his as he struggled to keep his need for her from overtaking the moment. They had a bus full of people. His breathing grew labored and his muscles strained.

  She sat up on his abdomen with her legs straddling his waist. She braced her arms beside his head, breaking the kiss. “I love you, Tom.”

  “I love you, too, Butterfly.” He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her fiercely. He broke the kiss looking into her eyes.

  “Did you talk to him?” she said.

  “Yes, I told him what I knew.” He stroked her cheek.

  Arianna lay down on his chest her chin resting on her hands as she watched his face. “Do you like him?”

  “Yes, I do,” he said.

  “Do you think he’ll be kind to me?” She took a deep breath.

  He stroked her lips. “Yes, very kind. You’re his daughter, he’ll love you.”

  A smile broke out on her face. “Do you really think so?”

  He laughed. He couldn’t help it. She looked so cute asking him with all her doubts shining from her eyes. His heart hurt for her. For him. Her need for her father. He didn’t know where all of this was going to lead.

  “I do.” He brushed her lips with his fingers again imprinting her on his skin.

  “That would be wonderful.” She sat up.

  “Are you ready to meet your dad?” A cloak of darkness settled around his heart.

  “Not yet. I want to wash my face. It must be all red and puffy.” She was unaware of the fear wrapping around him. The fear of losing her.

  He kissed her softly. “Why don’t you clean up? There is coffee made, I'll make you a cup and have it waiting for you.”

  She ran her fingers through her hair. “I would like that very much. Is everyone really still here?”

  “Yes, we’re filled to capacity.” He forced a smile. The happiness reflected in Arianna’s eyes making him push his fears and doubts away.

  She climbed off the bed. He was right behind her. He swatted her ass. “Go ahead. I'll make you some coffee.”

  She giggled as she walked into the bathroom.

  He watched her until she closed the door. He looked around the room, gritting his teeth and turned toward the door.

  As he closed the door behind him, he felt Darren’s eyes on him and smiled. “She’ll be out in a few minutes.”

  ****

  Arianna stared in the mirror at herself. Would her dad accept her? Would he really want her? Love her?

  Was she pretty enough for him? Would he hold her past against her? Arianna struggled with her fears, but Tom was here. Tom would be by her side. She could do this. She would do this because Tom was with her.

  She scrubbed her face. It looked like she had been crying, but she couldn’t do much about it.

  She walked into the bedroom and took a deep steadying breath. She opened the door and walked out of the bedroom right up to Tom, who was making her coffee.

  “You okay?” Tom smiled, holding out her big blue coffee mug. He watched her wrap both hands around it.

  “No.” She tried to smile, but her lips quivered.

  “I’ll be here with you.” He brushed loose auburn tendrils off her cheek.

  “I know, thank you.” She glanced into his eyes, her uncertainty visible.

  He brushed his fingers down her cheek tucking her hair behind her ear. He leaned forward and brushed her lips with his. “You ready?”

  She held her cup in one hand and reached out with the other clasping his hand. Together they turned and walked toward the group watching and waiting for them.

  Everyone had moved down on the couch and Tom sat with Arianna next to him on the end. Her fingers entwined with his, lying on his leg.

  She gripped her cup and Tom’s fingers in her uncertainty. Her head bowed she struggled to find words, not quite sure how to start or what to say.

  Tom squeezed her fingers and she glanced up at him. He pulled his fingers free of her grasp and slid his other hand into hers. He wrapped his right arm around her shoulders, leaning down by her ear. “It’ll be fine, Butterfly, I promise.”

  She nodded taking a sip of her coffee. Her hand trembled, spilling a little. She leaned her head on Tom’s shoulder as she looked around. He was right. The bus was packed. All the members of Simple Time and Distracted sat on the couches along with all their spouses.

  She closed her eyes, pushing against Tom, seeking comfort. He stroked her neck offering her the comfort and the courage she needed to look over at the man who was her father.

  Darren stared at his daughter. Her nervousness, apparent in the way she shifted and clasped her cup and Tom’s fingers.

  His eyes roamed over her, except for her puffy eyes, you wouldn’t realize she had been crying.

  Darren smiled. His eyes continued roaming over Arianna. Her red hair, pale skin, freckles, and green eyes were from him. The rest of her features from
her mother. No matter what her mother turned into, Debbie was a physically beautiful woman. A trait she passed on to their daughter.

  Bob squeezed his shoulder.

  Darren shook his head taking a deep breath. He would have to speak first. “Are you okay, Arianna?”

  Arianna glanced over at him and nodded before catching her bottom lip between her teeth. What does she say to him? What to ask him? She didn’t understand him, her mom, or their relationship. They were married!

  She glanced up at Tom then over at Darren. “You and my mom are married?”

  Her brow wrinkled with her confusion. Darren was experiencing the same. “Yes, we are.”

  “For how long?” Arianna asked.

  “Twenty-three years,” Darren said.

  “Wow!” She had no idea. Before she was born.

  Darren laughed, slightly bitterly. “A long time now.”

  Arianna nodded. What to say? She glanced at Tom again. He squeezed her fingers. “You don’t live together?”

  Darren shook his head. “Not for a long time.”

  “Why not?” she asked.

  “Deb… your mom has a drug problem, a bad one. I’ve tried to clean her up, but she never stayed clean. I couldn’t handle living with her drug problem, so I moved into my own place years ago,” Darren said, his eyes never leaving her face.

  “Why did you still take care of her, then?” Arianna asked.

  “I thought her drug problem was my fault.” Darren rubbed his hands over his face.

  “Your fault? Why?” she asked.

  “Debbie started the drugs after she met me and got involved with the band. The lifestyle. I blamed myself for the environment she was in,” Darren said. He wouldn’t lie to her. She deserved better.

  “Did you know my grandma?” Arianna realized he was just as nervous as she was.

  Darren shook his head. “I never met her. She and your mom had a falling out before I met your mother. They hadn’t talked to or seen each other in years.”

  Arianna nodded. “What did they have a falling out about?”

  “I’m not sure. Your mom never spoke of what happened.” Darren shrugged.