A Silent Prayer

by Samreen Ahsan

  “Oh, Mike. It is so good to see you. How come you are here?”

  “I missed you so much, Rania. I came this morning, and they assigned me to monitor the parade. I saw you sitting with that guy, so—”

  “I am so happy to see you, Mike. Does Ben know you are here?” I interrupt Mike before he can ask me about the guy. I hope he didn’t see me and Adam lying on the ground. That would be embarrassing.

  “No, Dad doesn’t know yet. I was caught up at work.” I see Mike’s gaze shifting, and I realize Adam is standing next to me.

  Ben’s words come to mind—that I should be easy on Adam, or else I would end up spoiling his business with Ben. I look at Adam and smile. He returns it, but with an interrogating look.

  “Mike, sorry. This is Mr. Gibson. And Mr. Gibson… this is Mike, my friend.” The two men look at each other curiously, and shake hands.

  “Pleasure meeting you, Mr. Gibson. Are you the one who—”

  “Yes, I assume you are talking about the one who builds houses?” Mike looks back to me with a question on his face, what-the-hell-you-are-doing-with-him-in-public? “So, Rania, it’s surprising to know that you have cops as your friends. I should be more cautious, then.” Adam winks at me with a wicked smile. Mike is still holding many questions in his head. He is only waiting for Adam to leave.

  “I didn’t know Rania had friends other than me.” Mike speaks with disappointment.

  Friend? He thinks Adam is my friend.

  Could this be more embarrassing than the morning accident?

  “No, Mike, I guess Rania has given this honor only to you. I don’t think I’m that lucky. She is very…” He speaks to Mike but then he looks at me to continue. “Very reserved.” His gaze moves from my head down my whole body. Every time he looks at me like that, I feel a thousand watts of current running down my spine.

  How can he do that, with just a look?

  I see a hint of satisfaction on Mike’s face. Adam looks and sounds very serious. He looks like a wounded dragon, whom I have stabbed directly in his heart with a big sharp dagger.

  Or is it just my poor imagination?

  “I know I am the luckiest man on this planet.” There is a smile in Mike’s words, and he speaks with pride. He has made me feel special all these years. Mike is a good guy, with extremely strong looks and build. Every time I used to hang out with him, I noticed many feminine eyes locked on him in desperation. He always asked me if I were jealous when girls stare at him, and I didn’t have any answer, though he has mentioned many times that he is jealous of the way other men look at me.

  Today, I see jealousy in Mike’s eyes, but what’s more interesting is that the same jealousy is in Adam’s eyes.

  Am I thinking too much?

  “So, Rania, let’s hang out tonight, baby,” Mike says in a very sexy manner. “It’s been so long. I missed you so much.” He’s never used that tone to me before. He puts his arms around me and I see Adam looking at us angrily. I don’t know why he should be jealous. He is famous as a womanizer, and there is no way I am letting myself be one of his extra flavors.

  I shift away from Mike, taking his hands off of me.

  “Actually, Mike… tonight would not be possible. I have something official to attend. But tomorrow night? I promise.” I look at Mike, who is watching Adam gazing at me.

  “Sure, girl. Anything for you. I will call you. I have to get back to my duty now. See you.” He places a light kiss on my forehead. I am not heated by Mike’s kiss, but Adam’s eyes on me are burning me from inside. “Pleasure meeting you, Mr. Gibson.”

  Adam smiles at him and they shake hands. Mike disappears into the crowd, leaving Adam and me with words hanging in the air.

  Before we can say anything to each other, I hear the crowd roaring. I turn around and see many people welcoming Santa. In all this conversation, I missed the whole parade. It is sadly about to end. I join the crowd and take my phone out to make a video, ignoring Adam. What is he still doing here?

  What does he want to say or ask?

  I put my phone back in my pocket and turn toward him.

  “You looked like an innocent child when you were looking at Santa.” He gives me a smile and steps closer to me. “You looked at him as if you had a secret wish to tell him.”

  How does he know? Is he a psychiatrist or a mind reader?

  His question makes me nervous and I start to twist my ring on my index finger.

  “Santa Claus doesn’t exist, Mr. Gibson. It is just our imagination.” I look toward the parade to avoid any visual contact with him.

  “No, he doesn’t exist, but a wish does.” He is totally unaware that people passing by are noticing us. I am feeling way too awkward.

  I am not going to share any wish with him, though the wish does exist. Not waiting for me to speak, Adam continues. “You seem to like all this?” He glances around the area.

  “I enjoy everything about the holiday season. The colors, the décor, the glitter, how the trees and houses light up in the dark.” I take a deep breath, but avoid looking at Adam. “The lights at night tell us that no matter how much darkness there is, only the light can dispel it.” I look back to Adam, who is listening to me seriously. “Everyone likes it, Mr. Gibson. Can’t you see all the people here, already in a festive mood?” Adam’s gaze gets stronger. He takes a few steps back from me and closes his eyes for a moment, shaking his head. I wait for him to say something.

  “No, Rania, I can’t see… I can’t see people…” He shakes his head again, eyes still closed.

  What is he saying?

  He looks at me again and continues. “When you are around… I can’t see anything… other than you.”

  He steps back, turns around and disappears into the crowd.

  Shit! What was that?

  THE PARTY

  ♂

  “The property we purchased last year has made us an enormous profit.” My lawyer, Tom McKenzie, clinks his champagne glass with mine.

  “Toast to the Abyss resorts,” I reply. “The northern Ontario market is booming—higher than our expectations. We should look for more land to build high-end luxury resorts. I want Americans to come and spend money at our properties, rather than roaming around in their own country.”

  I glance at the doorway and my heart stops beating. I feel that time has halted too, as she enters the room. She looks so fucking amazing. She is looking around like an innocent child who has entered a magical kingdom for the first time. But the truth is, all the magic is in her. She looks like a beautiful Christmas present, wrapped in a demure red lace dress, a holiday treat I would want to hold on to forever.

  Fuck! How does she know I have a thing for lace?

  I watch her heading toward Ben Dynham. He asks her something and looks at his watch. She’s almost an hour late. I want to ask what took her so long, but it’s better to ask Ali later on. I texted her a few hours ago but got no response, which in itself is an untold message. Men are gazing at her like hawks; I feel like kicking all of them out of this party. A man approaches her, asking for a dance. She refuses. I’m pleased that I am not the only one being turned down.

  What am I? A fucking teenager?

  A few minutes later, some other prick asks her for a dance. Then another, and a few minutes later another.

  I should start counting.

  I smile in my head. I actually get interested in finding out how many men she will reject tonight. Among the three hundred guests, no woman is as captivating and enticing as she is. I am too afraid to try my luck. She finally sees me, and excuses herself from the conversation she’s in to come over and say hello.

  “Hi.” She offers a handshake with a charming smile. For the first time, in all those dazzling lights, I notice she has dimples on both cheeks.

  I realize I’ve never seen them before because she’s never smiled at me
like this. My heart starts beating like a drum. I hope she can’t hear it.

  “You look…” I check her out from head to toe, but fail to find the appropriate words. “You look… beautiful… very magnetic… I—”

  “Thank you, Mr. Gibson, for your hospitality. And thank you for sending your special man to pick me up.” She looks around nervously at the other guests.

  “The pleasure is all mine, Rania. And please remember my name. It’s Adam.” That seems to make her more nervous. We are interrupted by a butler carrying a champagne tray. “Would you like something to drink, Rania? We have some special—”

  “I am sorry, I don’t drink,” she interrupts, looking at the butler.

  “Sure. Any juice? Water?” I pause. “Tea?” She smiles and shakes her head, as she remembers what I wanted her to remember.

  “No thank you, Mr. Gibson… umm… I mean, Adam. I don’t feel like having anything. I will certainly ask if I need something later. Thanks for offering, though.” She gives me another smile, and then avoids eye contact.

  So, she is shy!

  The music changes in the background and I see lots of people moving on the dance floor. She admires the couples dancing, unaware that I am admiring her.

  “Your fragrance…” will screw me one day. I close my eyes to breathe and open them to continue, “. . . heavenly.” She gives me a bashful smile and looks past my shoulder. “Rania, if you don’t mind, can I ask for a dance with you?” I ask her hesitantly and prepare myself for the rejection. Don’t say no, don’t say no. I recite the mantra in my head.

  “Sure. My pleasure.” She smiles at me, but the smile is not reaching her eyes. She’s acting different tonight. She’s talking to me with normal eye contact, and her attitude is friendlier than this morning. She puts her gold clutch on one of the tables and follows me to the dance floor.

  I put one hand behind her curvy waist and hold her hand with the other. Her other hand rests on my shoulder.

  “Mr. Gibson, I should warn you in advance. I don’t know how to dance. If I trip—”

  “Seriously? Who are you kidding, Rania?” I ask her impishly. She looks away, but doesn’t say anything, so I continue. “I won’t let you fall.” I wish I could tell her that I know she dances well. She has been taking classes every day. She is shy and hesitant, so she looks at my shoulder.

  “Thank you for saving me today. I am sorry I was rough on you. I shouldn’t—”

  “You like sparkles?” I interrupt her, and she looks up at me, not expecting the question.

  “Yes… how do you—”

  “It’s obvious. Your jewelry, your watch, your dress, everything has a bit of sparkle. You look very alluring.”

  “You already mentioned it, Mr. Gibson. Thank you.” She glances at me once before averting her eyes.

  “Don’t you like to be complimented?” I ask her gently.

  “Who doesn’t?” She smiles at me. “But false acclaim leads nowhere.”

  “You think I’m lying? You don’t realize how beautiful you are?” My question concerns me too. I lean closer to her and whisper Lorenz Hart’s phrase into her ear. “Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.”

  Is she really unaware of it?

  She smiles and shakes her head.

  “Seventeen men approached you for a dance, and you doubt your attractiveness?”

  “You were counting?” She laughs with an open heart, like an innocent child. The sound fills my heart with contentment.

  “Actually… yes, I was counting. I saw you rejected the first three, and so I entertained myself by counting the number of heartbroken men.”

  She keeps laughing, as if I have actually cracked a joke.

  “I didn’t know you had a sense of humor.” She wipes a tear of laughter from her eye.

  “You think I’m joking? No, seriously, there were seventeen.” She continues chuckling, but this time the smile reaches her eyes. “On a serious note, can I ask you something?”

  She purses her lips to stop laughing, and concentrates on my words.

  “Yes please, Mr. Gibson. No one has made me laugh like this in a long time. Please ask.” I still see the sparkle in her eyes.

  “I noticed you keep men at arms’ length. I mean, strangers. I am still a stranger to you, so I was wondering why you agreed to dance with me.” She looks up at me. The smile is gone from her lips and eyes. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.”

  “Oh no, Mr. Gibson. I don’t think you would like to hear the truth!” She starts to look nervous and gazes around the room, avoiding my eye.

  “What is it, Rania? Are you hiding something?” What is she trying to say?

  “You really want to know why I accepted your offer?” I nod, and she continues. “Can I trust you with the truth?”

  “Please, tell me. I won’t say a word. Trust me.” I follow her gaze as she looks toward Ben. He’s watching us dance.

  “Your propositions have seduced my boss… leaving no choice for me…” She takes a deep breath. “If I dared to refuse you… he is afraid you might…”

  She looks down at the floor, her expression sad.

  “I might sever my verbal commitment?” I finish what she left unsaid.

  Fucking bastard!

  I curse Ben Dynham at this moment. She’s still looking miserably at the floor. I feel my heart sinking in a giant ocean of emotions. All the time, she was smiling because of my fucking power. I stop dancing and release her. She looks like her pride has been torn in millions of pieces; I didn’t know my wealth could crush someone like that. I don’t know what to say.

  “I am sorry, Mr. Gibson, I didn’t—” She trembles with fear, but still, she manages to innocently reach her hand toward me to continue the dance.

  “No, Rania. Please, I’m the one who is sorry. You should have told me earlier.” I step back and pull my hands away from her. She looks at her boss nervously, and I see him watching us. Don’t get her in more trouble.

  I take the phone from my pocket and pretend I’ve received a call. She stands here, looking scared. I fake a smile and make an excuse to leave the dance floor. She stands there for a moment, then goes back to where she left her clutch and leans on the back of a chair, trembling. I want to hold her in my arms and comfort her, but I understand she needs some space. She picks up her clutch and heads toward the doorway.

  Is she leaving?

  She didn’t even eat anything. If I stop her at the doorway, Ben will notice, and I don’t want to create any more trouble for her. Instead, I choose wireless technology to communicate with her.

  I am unable to find the words to apologize. I’m sorry to have put you in this position. I never wanted our first dance to end this way. Yet, I feel honored that you put your trust in me. I will never break it. Thank you, and sorry. Please stay for dinner. Adam.

  I join the people at the bar, who are busy having drinks. My eyes are locked on the main door, hoping she will come back. I shouldn’t have backed out of the dance like that. But she was dancing with me against her will. She refused to dance with other men because there was no power involved; she was free to make her own decision. In my case, no one asked her what she wanted. I can’t even go and ask Ben why he asked her to do such a thing. That would create more problems in her office. I remember Ali telling me that her apartment belongs to Ben. It means there is more between them than just a boss-employee relationship.

  I check my phone again, to see if I have missed a reply from her. Then I see her coming back inside. She looks my way, still holding some sadness in her eyes, but her fear is gone. We gaze at each other silently, sharing unspoken secrets. I see her eyes thanking me for my actions, and my eyes are apologizing for her heartache. I call a server and ask him to go and offer her something to drink. She looks at me again and I clink my glass from a distance. She picks up an orange juice and offers
me the same gesture. I watch her taking a seat with some women I don’t know.

  Ali stands beside me and watches me watching her.

  “I have never seen such innocence in my life. And this alarming beauty…” I sigh deeply.

  “Beauty is worse than wine, it intoxicates both the holder and beholder.”3 I notice he is holding a business document. He follows my eyes, and puts the paper in his pocket. He is intelligent enough not to ask me anything regarding work right now. “Apart from elegance, she carries intelligence as well.” Ali faces the bar, asking for a drink. He takes a sip from his glass and continues. “You were right, Adam. She is not like other women you have been… umm… dealing with in the past. You’ll have to work really hard.” Ali looks at his glass intently while speaking to me. I turn around completely to face the bar. I’m offered another drink. “I saw you made her laugh. You are going to hit the news tomorrow.” Ali smirks behind his glass. “Toronto’s most eligible bachelor is finally captivated.” I shake my head and continue with the drink. “By the way, I found out who her boyfriend is. I mean the young cop.” He puts his glass down and looks at me seriously. I wait for him to continue. “He is Mike Dynham. Son of Ben Dynham.”

  Apart from being her boss, Ben is her boyfriend’s father? The way Mike was watching Rania, there was a marry-me request in his eyes. She is living under his roof. But if Mike intends to marry her in the future, then why is Ben pushing Rania toward me? Is he nothing but a beast, a person who can’t see his son’s emotions? Then how would I expect him to consider Rania? Fucking bastard.

  I still wonder if Rania and Mike are in a live-in relationship. But if that were the case, then why would Rania be the one paying rent? Ali’s limited information is enough for me to understand Rania’s position. She’s doing Ben a favor because of Mike. I turn around and cock my head to glance toward her. She’s busy talking to some people. I put my glass on the table and look at Ali.

  “I have to make an announcement. Excuse me.” I leave the bar and head to the stage, picking up the microphone.