The Coolest Pool

by M. C. Badger

  ‘I thought it was great,’ said Mila. ‘You can jump in water any old day. But how often do you get to jump on water?’ ‘Then there was the day you froze the pool,’ said manager. His face was getting redder and redder. ‘Don’t tell me THAT was an accident.’

  ‘Of course it wasn’t an accident,’ said Mila. ‘We wanted to try out Marcus’s new freeze ray. You should be proud that we chose your pool to test it on.’

  ‘Proud!’ spluttered the manager. ‘It turned the pool into an ice-skating rink!’

  Mila nodded happily. ‘Yes, it worked really well, didn’t it? What’s nicer than ice-skating on a very hot day?’

  The manager did not answer. He just stood in the entrance to the swimming pool with his arms folded.

  ‘There is NO WAY I’m letting you three in,’ he said firmly. ‘You are nothing but troublemakers.’

  Mila leaned close to Marcus. ‘Should I tickle him?’ she whispered. ‘You know I’m very good at tickling people out of the way.’

  Marcus did not think this was a very good idea. ‘No,’ he sighed. ‘Let’s just go.’

  THERE WAS a big fence all the way around the pool. The Tinklers walked slowly along it. They could see lots of children on the other side having fun in the water.

  ‘I am so hot,’ said Turtle. ‘If I don’t swim soon, I will melt.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Mila. ‘We are going to swim.’

  ‘But how?’ asked Marcus. ‘That manager will never let us in.’

  ‘Do you have your pocket pogo stick with you?’ Mila asked.

  ‘Of course. It’s in my pocket,’ said Marcus. ‘Why?’

  ‘We are going to use the pogo stick to BOUNCE over this fence,’ explained Mila. ‘See how I always save the day?’

  ‘You haven’t saved the day yet, Mila,’ Marcus said. ‘That is a very tall fence. And it has spikes on the top.’

  ‘It’ll be easy,’ said Mila. ‘Marcus, you go first.’

  ‘Me?’ said Marcus. ‘But it was YOUR idea.’

  ‘But it’s YOUR pogo stick,’ Mila pointed out. ‘Don’t worry. All you need to do is imagine yourself bouncing up really high. Imagine everyone cheering as you land on the other side of the fence. Imagine how it will feel swimming in that water.’

  ‘Imagine how it will feel landing on one of those spikes,’ said Turtle.

  ‘Thanks, Turtle,’ said Marcus. ‘That’s just what I needed to hear.’

  Marcus took out the pogo stick. He unfolded it. He started to bounce on it. But the pogo stick could not hop high enough to bounce over the fence.

  Marcus hit the fence and fell over.

  ‘Go on. Try it again, Marcus,’ said Mila, helping him up. ‘I’m sure you’ll make it this time.’

  ‘No way!’ said Marcus, rubbing his head. ‘One try is enough.’

  ‘Maybe we can tunnel under the fence?’ said Turtle. ‘Turtles love to dig.’

  Marcus shook his head. ‘The ground is too hard and too dry,’ he said. ‘We’ll have to think of something else.’

  And then Mila sneezed. ‘I’ve worked out how to get in!’ she said. ‘All we need to do is disguise ourselves. Then the manager will let us in.’

  ‘That’s a great idea!’ said Marcus. ‘We can disguise ourselves as different kids.’

  But Mila shook her head. ‘Not as kids,’ she said. ‘That is way too boring.’

  ‘Well, what then?’ asked Marcus.

  Mila’s eyes sparkled. ‘Let’s disguise ourselves as seagulls!’ she said.

  ‘Seagulls?’ said Marcus. Maybe he hadn’t heard her properly.

  Mila nodded. ‘Yes, seagulls! There are always lots of them at the pool. Even better, they just fly in without paying. If we look like seagulls then we’ll save our money!’

  Marcus could see a few problems with this. ‘How can we make ourselves look like seagulls?’

  ‘Easy,’ said Mila. ‘We just put our towels over us like this.’ Mila took her towel and stretched it across her shoulders. ‘These are the wings. Don’t I look like a seagull?’

  ‘No,’ said Marcus. ‘You don’t.’

  ‘You really need a beak,’ said Turtle. ‘Seagulls have beaks. Orange ones.’

  On the ground nearby was an empty pizza box. An orange one!

  Of course, if there had been an adult nearby they would have told Mila not to touch it. They would have reminded her that rubbish is dirty. But luckily for Mila there were no adults around.

  She picked up the pizza box. There were a few bugs on it, but she shook those off. Then she ripped off a piece of the box. The piece was shaped like a triangle. She folded this in half and held it up in front of her mouth.

  ‘OK. There is my beak. Now do I look like a seagull?’

  ‘No,’ said Marcus. ‘Seagulls DO NOT have purple stripes on their wings. Seagulls DO NOT have the word “tasty” written on their beaks.’

  ‘Some do,’ said Turtle. She thought she knew everything about animals.

  ‘It doesn’t matter about the stripes,’ said Mila. ‘It doesn’t matter about the writing. What matters is that I believe I am a seagull. If you believe you are something then other people will believe it too. Now, come on, Marcus. Do you want to go for a swim or not?’

  Marcus did want to go for a swim. He wanted to go for a swim more than anything. He knew Mila’s plan wasn’t very good. But he didn’t have a better one. So Marcus put his striped towel over his shoulders. He made himself a beak out of the pizza box. His beak had a bit of old cheese melted onto it.

  ‘Seagulls love cheese,’ said Turtle.

  ‘It’s your turn now, Turtle,’ said Mila. ‘You need to look like a bird too.’

  But Turtle shook her head. ‘Turtles don’t dress up,’ she said.

  ‘Well, OK,’ said Mila. Marcus could see she was too excited to argue. ‘Let’s go. And remember, Marcus. If you THINK like a seagull you will LOOK like a seagull.’

  THE TINKLERS went back around the corner to the front entrance of the pool.

  Here we go, thought Marcus.

  Mila began to flap one arm up and down. The other arm was holding her beak in front of her mouth. ‘Squawk!’ she said loudly. Then she used her beak to poke Marcus in the side. ‘Come on Marcus,’ she hissed. ‘Be a seagull.’

  Marcus flapped one wing. ‘Squawk!’ He felt pretty silly, but he did it because he really wanted to go for a swim.

  I must try to think like a seagull, he told himself. But the problem was he didn’t know what seagulls thought about.

  This time the Tinklers didn’t try to pay. They headed straight for the gate. But before they could go through, the manager stepped in their way. He puffed out his chest. He stretched out his big red arms so that the Tinklers could not get past.

  ‘Didn’t I tell you Tinklers that you’re not allowed in here?’ he said loudly.

  ‘We’re not Tinklers,’ Mila said, in a high, bird-like voice. ‘We are seagulls.’

  ‘And a turtle,’ added Turtle.

  The manager di
d not move. ‘You kids don’t fool me. Now go away.’

  Just then the three Splatley children walked up to the gate.

  ‘Hi Uncle!’ Sarah said. ‘Are those Tinkler kids causing trouble again?’

  Simon stared at the Tinklers. He started to giggle. ‘What are you doing with your towels and those bits of pizza box?’ he asked. ‘You look silly!’

  Susie stuck out her tongue.

  ‘Hang on,’ said Mila. She pointed at the manager. ‘Is this man your uncle?’

  Sarah, Simon and Susie nodded. ‘Yes, he’s our favourite Uncle Spatley.’

  Mila took off her towel wings. She dumped her beak in the bin. ‘Come on,’ she said to Marcus and Turtle. ‘Let’s go. We’ve got no chance of getting in here.’

  It was hot waiting at the bus stop. And it was even hotter on the bus.

  ‘It’s your turn to sit on the bottom,’ Marcus said to Mila.

  ‘Sure,’ said Mila. ‘But you’re GOOD at sitting on the bottom. Much, much better than I am. Maybe I’ll forget you’re on my shoulders. I might start dancing.’

  ‘That’s OK,’ said Marcus, climbing onto Mila’s shoulders. ‘I can just poke you if you start dancing. Then you’ll remember.’

  When they finally got back to thirty-three Rushby Road all the local pigeons were sitting on the windowsills looking hot and grumpy.

  The Tinklers and the pigeons liked each other. The Tinklers liked the pigeons because they made a nice ‘coo’ sound. The pigeons liked the Tinklers because they gave them seed bread. Usually when the pigeons saw the Tinklers they flew over to them, hoping to be fed. But today the pigeons were too hot. They just stayed where they were.

  Looking at the pigeons gave Marcus an idea for a new invention. ‘I’m going down to my workshop,’ he told his sisters. His workshop was in the basement of their building.

  ‘Can I come too?’ asked Mila. ‘It’s always nice and cool in your workshop. Plus, I’m sure I could invent something really great. Like a pair of snow boots made out of real snow.’

  ‘No,’ said Marcus. He’d had enough of Mila and her ideas for one day. ‘You two should go upstairs and run a really deep, cold bath. That will be kind of like a swimming pool.’

  Marcus had to go through the bakery to get to his workshop. The bakers were very pleased to see him, as always.

  Barry gave him a pastie and two strawberry tarts. Betty gave him a loaf of seed bread, which was handy because Marcus needed the seed bread for his invention. Marcus said goodbye to the bakers and went down into his workshop. He started working straight away.

  This was his idea:

  He knew exactly how to make it, too. He would thread string through bits of seed bread. Then he would hang the strings from a rail near a window. The pigeons would fly in through the window and eat the seed bread. The flapping of their wings would make a breeze. The pigeons would get seed bread. The Tinklers would get a breeze. Everyone would be happy.

  Marcus knew that his idea was a good one. And at first everything went very well. He threaded strings through slices of seed bread. That was easy. He tied the strings to a pole. That was easy too. Next, he went looking for pigeons to eat the bread. That should have been the easiest bit of all. But it wasn’t. There were no pigeons ANYWHERE!

  All Marcus could find was a couple of sparrows. But sparrows are not very big and they don’t make much of a breeze. In the end, Marcus gave up. You just can’t make a pigeon fan without pigeons.

  Marcus left his workshop in a bad mood and went to the lift. That’s where he saw something surprising.

  Stuck to the door of the lift was a note from Mila.

  Marcus walked around the side of thirty-three Rushby Road. He saw a ladder made of socks and stockings hanging down the side of the building. Marcus looked up. It looked like the ladder went all the way up to the Tinklers’ window.

  On the ladder was another note:

  Marcus began to climb. It was a long way up to the thirty-third floor. Marcus made sure he didn’t look down.

  I wonder why Mila wants me to climb up here? thought Marcus. Why can’t I just use the lift?

  Finally, Marcus reached the Tinklers’ flat. He looked in through the window and saw something very strange: The flat was filled with water!

  A lamp went floating past. The lamp was followed by a table. Sitting on top of the floating table was Mila. She waved to Marcus, then paddled over and opened up the window.

  ‘Come inside,’ she said, opening the window. ‘I’ve turned our flat into an indoor swimming pool!’

  Marcus squeezed through the window and fell with a splash into the water. When he stood up, the water reached his armpits. Turtle floated over in her waterproof shell. She was using an umbrella as a paddle.

  ‘The water is twenty-five point five degrees celsius,’ Turtle said. ‘That is the perfect temperature for an indoor swimming pool.’

  ‘The water is lovely and refreshing,’ said Marcus. ‘But what I want to know is how did it get here?’

  ‘It was your idea, really,’ said Mila.

  ‘My idea?’ said Marcus.

  ‘Well, I started to run a bath like you said,’ explained Mila. ‘But I forgot about it. When I went back to the bathroom there was water everywhere. At first I thought “Oh no!” But then I saw that it was a good thing, not a bad thing. So I turned the tap on even more, until the whole house was full! That’s why we left the note for you. If anyone opens the front door then all the water will go gushing out.’

  Marcus looked around. Two cups and a bowl bobbed past in one direction. Some dirty T-shirts drifted the other way.

  ‘It’s not a bad idea,’ said Marcus. He felt nice and cool finally. ‘The only thing is that it’s made everything really messy.’

  Mila shook her head. ‘It is not making everything MESSY,’ she said. ‘It’s making everything clean! That’s why this idea is so good. We are not just having fun in our very own indoor swimming pool. We are washing our clothes and the dishes at the same time. We are even washing the floors. Everything will be spotless in no time.’

  Just then there was a knock on the window. There was a kid there, looking into the Tinklers’ flat in amazement.

  ‘The notes worked!’ said Mila.

  ‘What notes?’ asked Marcus.

  ‘The ones that Turtle and I wrote,’ explained Mila. ‘Telling people to come to the Tinklers’ free indoor swimming pool! We gave the notes to the pigeons downstairs and told them to drop the notes over the local pool.’

  ‘Ah,’ said Marcus. ‘That explains why there were no pigeons around.’

  Marcus and Mila swam over to the window and opened it.

  ‘Can I come in?’ asked the boy on the ladder. ‘There are too many rules at the local pool.’

  ‘Of course! There are no rules at the Tinklers’ pool,’ Mila said. ‘At least, there are no silly ones.’

  The boy squeezed through the gap and splashed into the water.

  ‘Hey!’ shouted Turtle. She was looking out the window. ‘There are more kids coming up!’

  Marc
us looked out too. Sure enough, there was now a girl climbing the ladder and another three kids waiting down on the ground.

  ‘Come on up!’ Marcus yelled through the gap in the window.

  More kids kept arriving. Soon the Tinklers’ indoor swimming pool was very busy. Mila closed the window and put up a sign saying:

  Everyone was having a great time swimming around.

  There were kids doing freestyle races up and down the hallway. There were kids diving off the top of the cupboard in the bedroom. There were even some kids floating from room to room on a mattress. Marcus wasn’t feeling hot anymore. He wasn’t feeling bothered either. He was feeling great!

  Mila swam over to him. ‘This was one of my best ideas ever, don’t you think?’ she said.

  ‘It’s pretty good,’ said Marcus. ‘But it was an accident, don’t forget.’

  ‘That doesn’t matter,’ said Mila. ‘Sometimes accidents make the best ideas of all.’

  ‘There can’t be very many kids left at the pool,’ said Marcus.

  ‘True,’ said Mila. ‘That manager must be wondering what is going on.’

  Suddenly there was a noise. It was coming from outside the window. It sounded like rubbish bins rolling down a bumpy road. Only three people in the world sounded like that when they yelled. THE SPLATLEY THREE!

  Marcus swam over to the window and opened it. Sure enough, there were the three Splatley kids.

  ‘The pool has closed for the day!’ said Sarah. ‘Let us into your pool.’