Midlife Magic Dragon (Midlife Shifters Book 7)

by J. L. Wilder

  “Because they’re your alphas,” said Cam. “And in case you forgot, they’re not exactly safe meeting you at a damn coffee shop. If it gets back to Red that they’re meeting with you, they’re all fucked.”

  It was the most obvious answer, and one that Scorn could’ve come up with for himself if he could put his anger aside for a moment to think.

  “You all right, bud?” asked Cam. “You’re starting to remind me of the old Scorn.”

  He took a deep breath and let the anger flow through and out of him.

  “I’m fine. It’s just...”

  “Yeah, I know. Shit’s hard to control. But you’ve been doing better. Seems like having Maddie around really helps.”

  Scorn knew he was right, of course.

  “And it’s not wrong to admit it,” said Cam. “After what happened to you...”

  “I don’t need to rehash the past.”

  “Right—that’s not what I want either. Just that you lost someone close to you, and it makes a certain kind of sense that you’d let this dark side exist so you could have the strength to protect yourself from it happening again.”

  Scorn flashed him a skeptical look.

  “Wow, look at the psychiatrist over here.”

  Cam chuckled. “Just saying. You can’t tell me losing her wasn’t a big part of why this side of you has come out?”

  “Like I said, I don’t want to rehash that shit.”

  “But you have to,” said Cam. “That’s why you lost your position as alpha of the clan. You had this side of you that you couldn’t deal with, so you shoved it away and hoped the problem would take care of itself. And that’s not what happened. You lost control when the clan needed you.”

  Scorn grumbled, his hands still on the wheel.

  “And when Red came to power and said he could control the clan with a more even hand, it was enough to push you out.”

  “I was stabbed in the back.”

  “By Red and his men, sure. But the rest of the clan just wanted to do what would keep them safe and prosperous. You’re the best damn alpha we’ve got, but you’re also unpredictable—too dangerous to let stay in charge.”

  “Don’t need a lecture; I know what went down.”

  “I know, I know. I’m glad you’re back, and I don’t want to drag your ass through the mud.”

  “Then what do you want? Why the hell are you bringing all this up when we’ve got all this shit going on?”

  “Because you need to address it, Scorn. You need to fix this problem, because if we win and you get put in charge, it’s going to happen all over again. You’ll lose control, and you’ll lose the clan...or worse. Maddie’s going to be a part of your life now, and you’re going to have to figure out how to stay in control or you might lose her, too.”

  Scorn dug his nails into the steering wheel, the thought of anything happening to Maddie enough to make the rage come out, for his skin to burn hot.

  “There it is,” said Cam. “Bud, it’s good as hell that you feel that way about this woman. But it’s not good that she makes you lose control like this.”

  “Then what the hell am I supposed to do? She calms me down, makes me keep my anger in check. But what if I lose her again.”

  Cam nodded, considering his words. “You heard of Carl Jung?”

  “Huh? Who the hell is that?”

  “He’s this psychiatrist from back in the day, kind of a philosopher, too. Anyway, he had this idea that every human being has what he calls a ‘shadow side.’”

  “A shadow side?”

  “Their dark half, the same traits that make you strong but turned against yourself.”

  “Explain.”

  “Like, look at you, Scorn. You’re strong as hell, and you care about nothing more than protecting the ones you care about. Those traits make you protective, a good leader who cares about doing the right thing by his people.”

  He went on.

  “But those protective traits in a bad way mean rage and control. You feel like you’re not living up to your own standards for yourself and the anger comes out. That’s your power, your strength. But without the influence of your good side, it results in you having this uncontrolled rage.”

  Scorn snorted, realizing Cam was right on the money.

  “Then what the fuck do I do? What did this psychiatrist dude say about how to fix this?”

  “He called it ‘integrating your shadow side.’ You have to give into it, make it a part of you. But you gotta control it, too. Right now, you’ve got two Scorns inside of you that’re doing battle all the fucking time. You’ve gotta make them one, become whole.”

  He went on.

  “There’s this other guy, this Russian writer. He said that the line between good and evil goes through the heart of every person. And that’s you to a T, Scorn. There’s good in you, and there’s evil. You gotta fight against that evil.”

  “But how?”

  “That’s not for me to say. But I bet you anything the first step would be to forgive yourself for what happened back then, don’t let your anger burn in you about what you could’ve or should’ve done. We’ve both got a future that needs you in it, Scorn, and that’s not possible if you’re living in the past.”

  Scorn shifted in his seat, processing Cam’s words.

  He looked ahead and saw a small collection of parked cars to the side of the road.

  “We’re here,” said Scorn. “Time to get this shit sorted out with the alphas.”

  Cam nodded. “And we don’t have much time. Red’s busy with his shit with the witches. But it’s only a matter of time before he realizes that a few dozen of his dragons are MIA.”

  Scorn parked and hopped out. The sky twinkled above, the evening’s darkness spreading from the top of the sky downward. The meeting was at an abandoned campsite a couple hours away from Blackshroud territory. The sun was wild over the vast lake, the sky a deep orange with a bold purple over top.

  As Scorn and Cam stepped into the clearing, Scorn felt the presence of the dragons around him.

  “Come on out,” he growled into the growing darkness. “We’ve got shit to talk about.”

  At his words, the dragons, in their human forms, emerged from the trees. Scorn looked around, surprised at what he saw. There weren’t simply a dozen or so alphas and their soldiers—a hundred dragons were there, men and women and children.

  “What the hell is this?” asked Scorn as he turned to take in the sight. “This is half the fucking clan!”

  A man stepped forward from the group, tall and broad-shouldered with wavy dark hair, his face broad and his eyes small and green, his look reminding Scorn of a tough-as-nails military drill instructor, as it always did.

  It was Jackson Tailor, one of Scorn’s former alphas.

  “I know you just wanted a meeting,” said Jackson, his voice deep and booming. “But we couldn’t wait.”

  “Couldn’t wait for what?” asked Scorn.

  “Red,” said Jackson. “We don’t know what he’s planning, but he’s rallying the troops. He’s going to start a campaign to take out every last clan in the state outside of Washington. Dragon, wolf, bear—whatever. If they don’t surrender, he’ll wipe them out.”

  Scorn and Cam shared a look, one that made it clear they understood the severity of what was happening.

  “So, what?” said Scorn. “You all just fled New Haven? Came out here to do what?”

  “That’s where you come into it, Scorn,” said Jackson. “Me and the rest of us, we decided that going into the woods on a hopeless mission was a hell of a lot better of an idea than sticking around and dying in some war that Red’s got planned. It’s a damn pointless exercise—how the hell are we going to take over the entire damn state?”

  Scorn stepped toward him. “You don’t know what’s happening. Red’s not planning on doing this alone—he’s teaming up with a coven of witches from Seattle to take over the entire state!”

  That got the crowd talking, murmuring among
one another.

  “The hell?” asked Jackson. “They’re teaming up with witches?”

  “That’s right. And these witches are no damn joke. Together, they might be strong enough to not only take over the state, but to move down, all the way into Oregon or California.”

  Jackson regarded him with a curious expression as if he wanted to make sure he’d heard him correctly.

  “Holy hell,” he said finally. “That’s...then the situation is even more hopeless than I’d thought. If he finds out what we did...”

  Scorn knew he didn’t need to finish his sentence.

  “You have to go back,” said Scorn. “Buy some time.”

  “No way,” said Cam. “If they go back and Red knows what they did, then they’re screwed. Even if he doesn’t find out a third of his clan abandoned him, he’ll send them all on a suicide mission through the state. Maybe he’ll pull it off, but he’s going to lose a hell of a lot of people in the process.”

  Scorn didn’t need Cam to explain to him what this meant—whether he wanted it or not, whether he was ready or not, the clan needed him to step up and lead.

  He was the alpha, and a civil war among the Blackshrouds had broken out without him even knowing.

  But it didn’t matter. It was time for him to step into his destiny.

  Jackson said nothing; Cam said nothing. Hundreds of eyes were on him, and they all awaited his words.

  “Then we’re going to end this,” he said. “We’re going to take back the clan from Red, and we’re going to put a stop to his plans.”

  The expressions of the faces around him lit up—he realized his words had been exactly what they’d wanted to hear.

  “Then what’re your orders, boss?” asked Jackson.

  “We’re under time pressure,” said Scorn. “But we don’t have the luxury of waiting to act. The fight ahead is going to be tough, but I’m confident we’ll win.”

  More nods from the group. But Scorn understood he needed concrete action—a plan they could put into motion.

  They needed a place to go.

  “Two hours south of New Haven is my old home. It’s not much now, but there’s space where you all can hide out for the time being.”

  “How long are we going to have to wait?” asked Jackson.

  “No more than one day. Go there, get rest, stock up on food and gear at the nearest town. And when I come back, we’ll make our move on New Haven. But it’s not only Red and his men—we’re going to do battle with the witches of Seattle, too.”

  Determination spread through the group.

  “But the Blackshroud clan doesn’t bend to anyone!” shouted Scorn, his hand in a fist. “We’ll fight, and we’ll survive. You all ready!”

  Cheers sounded from the group.

  Scorn turned to Cam.

  “Let’s get them pointed in the right direction. Then we head back to Seattle and make sure Maddie’s ready for what’s next.”

  Cam nodded. “Let’s do it.”

  Scorn met with Jackson and a handful of the other alphas. He drew them a map to his former home, the clearing near the lake south of New Haven. Scorn knew it would only be a matter of time until Red figured out what had happened and where they’d gone.

  “We get back and fill Maddie in on what happened,” said Scorn as they drove. “Then we link up with Chapman and see what his thoughts on the situation are.”

  “Good call,” said Cam. “Because you’re right—we’ve got a day at the most until Red figures out what’s happening. When he does...”

  “It’ll be total war. And if he hits us unprepared, we’ll be scattered, easy to pick off.”

  Cam nodded.

  A silence fell, and Scorn could sense something was on Cam’s mind.

  “Let’s hear it.”

  “Back there,” said Cam. “You didn’t go into that meeting expecting what happened. But they needed a leader, and you stepped up. Red’s been running this clan into the ground since he’s taken charge, and I was worried it’d be only a matter of time until something bad happened. But you’re a real leader, Scorn.”

  “Let’s wait until we come out on top before you start fanning my balls.” He flashed Cam a slight grin, one that let him know he was joking.

  “It’s good to have you back, Scorn. You’re what this clan needs.”

  They drove on, and Scorn knew it was far, far from over. He’d not only need to lead his clan, but he’d need to keep his animal side in check while he did it. One slip-up, one time letting his rage control him and lead him into a bad decision would be all it took for him to let his people down, to lead them into defeat.

  He was determined not to let that happen.

  And more than that, he had Maddie on his side. Scorn understood he’d need to control his rage on his own, but her being there to temper his animal side would make things easier.

  They pulled into the parking garage of the safehouse, and ten minutes later stepped into the apartment.

  It was quiet—Scorn’s footsteps echoed, and he realized right away that he was alone.

  “Where is she?” he asked, anger in his voice.

  “I’ll look,” said Cam.

  Cam broke from Scorn, hurrying through the apartment and making his way to the top floor. Scorn looked in one bedroom, and then another. But he only stopped when he spotted a note on the kitchen bar.

  Scorn,

  I’m gone. I know this seems like the wrong, selfish thing to do, but if you understood, you’d get it was the only thing I could do.

  - Maddie.

  He tossed the note aside, his rage boiling up. Cam returned to his side and quickly read the note.

  “She’s not safe,” said Scorn. “We have to get her back.”

  “Then let’s move,” said Cam.

  Scorn nodded. He was ready.

  CHAPTER 21

  MADDIE

  “This is a bad fucking idea,” said Katie.

  They drove south, and Maddie wasn’t quite sure where they were, exactly.

  “Now you’re telling me it’s a bad idea?” asked Maddie, her eyes on the road.

  “I’ve been telling you it was a bad idea,” said Katie. “But you didn’t listen.”

  “There’s nothing else to do,” said Maddie. “Right now, I’m at the center of a massive war about to break out between the most powerful people in Washington. The dragons want me, the witches want me, and God knows who else does. And I’m not about to let them use me for whatever bullshit they’ve got in mind.”

  “But what’s the next step? We run forever?”

  Maddie said nothing at first, deep down worried about the half-plan she’d come up with.

  “We go south,” she said. “Go to LA. And once we’re there, we hide out in the city.”

  “Then what?”

  “We work on my powers, give me time to practice, to make them stronger. And then when the baby comes, I keep it as far away from all we ran from as possible.”

  Katie nodded, listening.

  “This war’s starting over me,” said Maddie. “And if there’s no me, there’s no war. I’m not about to let hundreds of people, if not more, die because of some power that I didn’t even ask for.”

  “It’s going to be hard,” said Katie. “Witches can’t just hide out. LA has one of the biggest shifter societies in the world, and the witches there...they’re different. It’s going to be like throwing you into the deep end when you just started learning how to swim the other day.”

  “I don’t care if it’s going to be hard. I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep my baby and the people I love safe.”

  “But what about Scorn?”

  “What about Scorn? This is what’s best for him, too. He’ll stay safe, and if the war isn’t on the horizon, he’ll have time to plan with the Seattle dragons on how to take back his clan.”

  “Don’t you think he has a right to know he’s going to be a father?” asked Katie. “You’re carrying his kid, Mads. And that kid’s part
dragon. You can teach him or her how to be a witch, sure, but there’s a whole other side of them that’ll be untamed. Look at Scorn—he’s lost so much because he can’t properly control his dragon side. And now you’re going to have a kid who has a dragon side and a witch side?”

  Maddie said nothing for several long moments, trying to come to terms with what Katie had said.

  “When...when the baby’s old enough, and the danger’s passed, then I can think about what to do about Scorn and the baby.”

  “You’re saying that like life is going to go exactly the way you want. What if something happens to Scorn and he never gets a chance to be there for his baby? What if...”

  Maddie shook her head.

  “I can’t think about that right now.”

  “But you have to. Maddie, I know this life isn’t what you wanted. I know that up until a month or so ago, the only witches you knew about were the ones in the books you published. But this is it, now—you’ve got responsibilities and you can’t run from them any longer. And the Maddie I know isn’t a woman who’d run from something just because she’s scared.”

  “I’m not running. I’m doing this to keep people safe.”

  “That’s what you’re saying. And I don’t doubt you mean it. But what if this isn’t the right way to keep people safe? What if how to do that is seeing this through, fighting for the people you care about and beating the ones who want to hurt them?”

  She went on.

  “Mads, I know this is scary, and I know part of you wants to pretend that you can just move somewhere else and start over. But you can’t. And what’s more, I know that this isn’t you. When you came into my life, you were some witch-to-be that I was supposed to keep an eye on. But I didn’t fake anything about my friendship with you. You’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever met, and everything you have in your life is something you fought for.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. Like your marriage—you didn’t run away from him, hope that it all went away. You wanted your freedom, and you fought for it. You looked that controlling prick right in the eye and told him what you wanted and that you were going to get it no matter what. Let me ask you this—what do you really want?”