How to Outswim a Shark Without a Snorkel

by Jess Keating

  “For sure,” I said, tucking my towel closer. “See you later.”

  He waved good-bye, and I watched as he walked away from the Adventure Zone, disappearing from view.

  And you know what?

  I’d love to say that I kept my cool and was all sophisticated and chill when he was gone. But I was done trying to be something I wasn’t.

  The truth is, the moment Kev was out of sight, I collapsed into a pile of squealing happiness and spazzy giggles like an absolute loon, right next to the sign about great white shark anatomy.

  Some things never change, right?

  Top Three Coolest Things about This Summer

  1. Kevin. Because OH MY GOD. He likes me. HE LIKES ME! And who cares if I didn’t kiss him yet?! Because HE LIKES MEEEE.

  2. Ashley. I know. I never saw it coming either. But she’s seriously cool and can pick a swimsuit like a pro too.

  3. Daz. Possibly the biggest surprise of all. But he really came through for me, and it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t get that gate open. Is it possible my brother’s been replaced by an actual…human?

  Chapter 23

  Despite its size, the manta ray is a harmless filter feeder with no teeth.

  —Animal Wisdom

  This makes me wonder what else seems super scary but is actually harmless. Do you think eighth grade seems worse than it really is?

  T-minus fourteen minutes until school starts.

  Sometimes, it hits me that I’m almost friends with Ashley. Well, not even almost.

  Turns out that jumping into a shark tank to save someone’s feelings can make friends out of enemies.

  CREATURE FILE—REVISED EDITION!

  SPECIES NAME: Ashleydae Reignus Ashleydae Surprisia

  KINGDOM: Pretty much wherever she is, she owns it.

  PHYLUM: People Who Turn Out Not-so-Bad After All; (still an apex member of Swim Team Goddesses, though.)

  WEIGHT: Yep, still perfect.

  NATURAL HABITAT: I’m sure she still likes all the same places as before, but I bet you can add the Marine Adventure Zone to this list! She even became an official “zoo ambassador” for the rest of the year!

  FEEDS ON: Shopping trips (don’t forget the squat test), burritos, books about sharks (who knew?!), shiny lip gloss, and surprisingly corny jokes.

  LIFE SPAN: previous calculation of witchlike immortality likely wrong; turns out she’s a human like the rest of us.

  HANDLING TECHNIQUE: Only bites when backed into a corner. Can also be bribed with pictures of Logan in a wetsuit.

  *NOTES* ASHLEYDAY SURPRISIA CAN ALWAYS BE DEPENDED ON FOR WARDROBE CHECKS, EXTRA LIP GLOSS, TOUGH LOVE PEP TALKS, AND TOKEN EYE ROLLS WHEN YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A BIT OF A TURD.

  To anyone watching, we might have been friends for years. I mean, sure, there are times when I look at her and roll my eyes because she says something that sounds shallow. I don’t think she even means to sound that way. It’s just hard to kick the habit of noticing it. But there are also times where she gives me a look because I’m being super nerdy or talking about elephant poop.

  But my other friends do that too.

  Even my own brother does that.

  I used to always think that friends were something you found when you were younger, and you got closer as you got older together. You either had them, or you didn’t. Like with Liv. I always thought because we were best friends, there wasn’t room for new friends, especially ones that were formally known as “Sneerers.” And yeah, she still does sneer sometimes, but I’m not about to call her that. I sneer too after all.

  Because she does a lot more than sneer too, you know?

  I stared up at the building and tried to swallow my fear. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this,” I said. “Eighth grade now.” I straightened my shirt and tried to mimic Ashley, who was standing tall. “That’s kind of a big deal.”

  “That’s right.” She grinned. Her hair was glossy and waving in the breeze. “It’s going to be awesome.”

  I thought about Liv, who would be starting her first day of high school soon. I didn’t feel as confident as her—that was for sure. And I definitely didn’t feel as confident as Ashley, who was slapping on another coat of lipstick. The other Sneerers—no—her other friends, Brooke and Rayna, weren’t here yet. I wasn’t sure what would happen once school started and Ashley reunited with her old friends.

  But I wasn’t as scared to find out now.

  “Let’s go, Scales.” She pulled me toward the door.

  “Hey, wait a minute! We promised no more name-calling!” I pulled myself away from her.

  She grinned sneakily. “Whatever. You’ll always be Scales to me. Get over it.” She rolled her eyes, and for a brief moment I saw the old Ashley, ready to attack.

  I stepped back, my mouth hanging open. “Seriously! After everything, you can’t even be nice for two seconds and—”

  “I’m kidding, Ana!” she scoffed. “You look cute today, by the way. Your butt especially. That skirt is killer.”

  “Hey, guys!” Bella ran up to us, with Daz and Kevin following behind her. Daz was carrying a stack of atlases, and Kevin’s hair had been freshly cut for school.

  He smiled shyly at me. “Hey, Ana.” My heart fluttered like a hummingbird as he laced his fingers between mine. He didn’t even care that Daz was looking! It wasn’t a kiss, but that made it even more perfect. You know how when you go to the movies and you’re sitting there in the seat, eating your popcorn, and the lights suddenly dim and the sound gets super loud and you get this awesome sense of here we go because you can’t wait to see this great movie?

  That’s how I felt when Kevin held my hand. Like I was excited and nervous and eager and everything all at the same time. Luckily I wasn’t a total freak and didn’t actually say this, because hello, mortifying. But he could probably tell by the way I squeezed his hand back that I was feeling it, though.

  “Hey,” Ashley said, snapping me out of my dreamy delirium. She turned to Bella. “You’re Bella, right?”

  I held my breath, waiting to see how Bella would react. I still wasn’t sure how to navigate having friends from totally different circles. It sort of felt like worlds colliding, bashing into each other. I was afraid something was going to explode or catch fire or cause some sort of social earthquake. Bella and I were fine now, but asking her to handle someone like Ashley might be too much.

  But I didn’t have to worry.

  Bella grinned. “Yup. I’ve got Mrs. Randall first period. How ’bout you guys?” She read from her class schedule, which she’d printed and laminated.

  Ashley nodded. “Me too!” She tucked her lipstick into her purse and shook out her hair. “Let’s go before the good seats are taken.”

  She marched ahead, then turned around to stare at me. “You coming or what?”

  BELLA’S (ALMOST) HEALTHY NO-BAKE COOKIES

  It’s summertime, right? So there’s no way you want to be heating up your house with a hot oven for ages. This is Bella’s best recipe for no-bake cookies. At least, I think they’re the best, and I’m pretty sure Daz agrees because he ate half the batter before we even had a chance to finish.

  Enjoy!

  STUFF YOU’LL NEED:

  -1/2 cup of some kind of nut butter (I like crunchy peanut butter, but if you’re allergic, you can substitute in whatever kind you like!)

  -1/4 cup butter

  -1/3 cup honey

  -1 cup of oats (make sure you get the “quick cook” flake kind, not the “steel-cut” kind)

  -1/2 cup unsweetened coconut

  -1/2 cup dried fruit (my favorite is dried cranberries, but you can also use raisins, chopped dried apples, or even dried cherries)

  -1/2 cup of chocolate chips (the best part)

  -2 tablespoons of ground flaxseed (optional, but super healthy!)

  -no
nstick cooking spray

  -a small pot

  -a clean drinking glass

  -a cookie sheet

  -waxed paper

  -spoons

  WHAT TO DO:

  1. With a grown-up’s help if you need it, start by melting the nut butter, butter, and honey in a small pot. You only need to have the heat on low for this, but make sure you don’t burn yourself! Stir it all up with a spatula until its smooth.

  2. Remove the pot and turn off the stove. Add in the remaining ingredients, stirring the whole thing together until it looks like a gloopy, sticky mess. This is normal!

  3. Layer a cookie sheet with the wax paper. Now use your spoons to scoop globs of batter into mounds on the sheet. I like to make them about the size of a golf ball, but if you want bigger cookies, that’s okay too. Do this with all the batter.

  4. Once you’ve filled up your cookie sheet, spray the bottom of a clean drinking glass with nonstick cooking spray. Very carefully squish each glob flat with the glass, until it’s about 1/2-inch thick. They will look like cookies now!

  5. When you’ve flattened all the globs, stick the whole cookie sheet into the fridge. It will take them about an hour to set, so distract yourself. Or if you’re like Daz, wait four minutes and steal them from the fridge early. Either way, they taste great!

  Thank you for reading!

  We hope you enjoyed How to Outswim a Shark Without a Snorkel by Jess Keating.

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  The book you’ve just finished is Book 2 in the My Life Is a Zoo series. In case you missed it, the first book in the series is How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied. If you loved How to Outswim a Shark Without a Snorkel, check out our mailing list for updates on new releases and access to exclusive content.

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  Acknowledgments

  As always, this one goes out to Kathleen Rushall. Every book I write may be different, yet the one thing that doesn’t change is how incredibly grateful I am to have you as my brilliant agent and partner-in-crime. You’re the best!

  To Aubrey Poole, Jillian Bergsma, Kathryn Lynch, Rachel Gilmer, and everyone behind the scenes at Sourcebooks—your enthusiasm, keen eyes, and hard work never go unnoticed and I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done to get these books out into the world.

  To the Nerdy Book Club, and the amazing kidlit community! I can’t thank you enough for welcoming Ana and the gang with open arms, and supporting books and literacy at every turn. Your tweets, emails, letters, and blogs are a writer’s dream. I’ve always said that book people are some of the most generous, spirited, and thoughtful people around, and you prove me right every day!

  To my awesome parents and family, for a lifetime of love, support, and full bookshelves.

  To Carter, Alina, Lauren, Julie, Liv, Adrienne, and Josh, as well as my amazing #TeamKrush buddies! You all inspire me, and I’d be lost (and likely very bored!) without you.

  To Justin, for being an awesome husband and best friend.

  And once again, to my wonderful readers! Thank you for taking Ana’s adventures and bringing them to life in your minds and hearts. I hope she inspires you to let your true selves shine.

  About the Author

  Jess Keating was nine years old when she brought home a fox skeleton she found in the woods and declared herself Jane Goodall, and not much has changed since then. Her first job was at a wildlife rehabilitation center, where she spent her days chasing raccoons, feeding raptors (the birds, not the dinosaurs!), and trying unsuccessfully to avoid getting sprayed by skunks. Her love of animals carried her through university, where she studied zoology and received a Master’s degree in Animal Science, before realizing her lifelong dream of writing a book for kids about a hilarious girl who lives in a zoo.

  She has always been passionate about three things: writing, animals, and education. Today, she’s lucky enough to mix together all three. When she’s not writing books for adventurous and funny kids, she’s hiking the trails near her Ontario home, watching documentaries, and talking about weird animal facts* to anyone who will listen. You can email her at jesskeatingbooks@gmail.com, or visit her online at www.jesskeating.com.

  *Did you know a blue whale’s tongue can weigh as much as an elephant?

  CREATURE FILE:

  Jess Keating

  SPECIES NAME: Authorificus Biophiliac

  KINGDOM: Ontario, Canada!

  PHYLUM: Writers who have a strange love of quirky critters and brave characters; Animal nut with a pen

  WEIGHT: You dare ask a lady her weight?! Why, I never! Wait, is this before or after I ate that banana split?

  NATURAL HABITAT: Outside exploring with a messy notebook, or snuggled up watching nature documentaries with her husband.

  FEEDS ON: Grilled apple and cheese sandwiches, popcorn, and pizza.

  LIFE SPAN: I was born on a sunny summer day in…wait, nobody has time for my life story here. Get it together, Jess.

  HANDLING TECHNIQUE: Gets restless inside, so daily walks are essential. Also have significant quantities of caramel corn and extra books on hand in case of emergency.

  How to Outrun a Crocodile When Your Shoes Are Untied

  Jess Keating

  Ana Wright’s social life is now officially on the endangered list: she lives in a zoo (umm, elephant droppings!?), her best friend lives on the other side of the world, and the Sneerers are making junior high miserable. All Ana wants is to fade into the background.

  Yeah, that’s not going to happen.

  Coming Soon:

  How to Outfox Your Friends When You Don’t Have a Clue

  October 2015