Lost Without You

by Yahrah St. John

  Shane bent down until he was eye to eye with Gabrielle. “Are you okay?”

  Gabrielle turned away and swiftly began wiping away the tears with the back of her hand. She didn’t want him to see her like this.

  “Gabrielle,” he said more sternly, grabbing both her shoulders and turning her around to face him. “What’s wrong? Did something happen?” He’d never seen her so, so…vulnerable, and it called out to every male instinct in him to protect her.

  “Everything is fine.” She kept her head low, but Shane lifted her chin with his hand.

  “Everything is far from fine,” he said, peering into her eyes. “Whoever it was on the other end of that call obviously upset you a great deal. Is there anything I can do?”

  His burning eyes held her. She couldn’t believe Shane was being so nice to her. Where was the arrogant, cocky man she was used to?

  Shane reached in his suit pocket and handed her a handkerchief and then scooted himself next to her on the bench. That tiny act of kindness had Gabrielle questioning everything she’d ever thought about Shane. She accepted the handkerchief and used it to wipe her eyes, blow her nose and get control of her emotions.

  “Feel better?” Shane asked, pushing her hair back so he could see her face. Her skin was bright, nearly translucent. Seeing Gabby in this light, so vulnerable, made her seem more human and attractive, which surprisingly had his groin tightening in response. What was wrong with him? This was Gabby Burton, Gabrielle Burton, the hard-nosed chemist who’d been driven to beat him at all costs in perfumery school. So why was he finding himself wondering what lay beneath that cool reserve of hers?

  Gabrielle’s mouth curved into a smile, and Shane found his heart beating just a little bit faster. “Yes, much.”

  “Good. So what do you say we go back inside and get back to work?” Shane asked.

  “Sounds good.”

  * * *

  The rest of the afternoon went by quickly, as did the remainder of the week. Gabrielle found herself enjoying her position immensely. She’d even offered her opinion to Shane about what chemical to put in the new skin-care lotion, and he hadn’t bitten her head off. They were definitely making progress. She’d caught him staring at her again several times, but he’d looked away, as if his hand had been caught in the cookie jar.

  She was so deep in work on one formula on Friday evening that the time got away from her, and when she glanced up, she noticed that only she and Shane were still in the lab. She glanced at her watch and realized it was nearly 7:00 p.m., way past quitting time. She walked over to Shane and leaned over his shoulder to see what he was working on.

  The scent of Gabrielle wafted to Shane’s nose. It wasn’t the scent of any perfume, because his nose didn’t detect any notes. It was her natural smell. Not to mention he could feel her warmth from behind him. He spun around on his stool. “You ready to get out of here?” he asked, surprising himself. “We could grab a cocktail, and you could finally let your hair down for a change.” He could use a drink; he was wound up too tight.

  “After that flattering invitation, how can I turn you down?” Gabrielle asked curtly. “And if you hadn’t noticed, my hair is down.”

  “Oh, c’mon, Gabby.” Shane continued to call her by her nickname. “I was just razzing you. Don’t tell me you can’t take the heat? I remember you dishing it out in school rather well.” He recalled how she’d once called him an egotistical spoiled rich boy.

  “I can take the heat!” Gabrielle huffed. “I’ll just get my suit jacket.”

  “Leave it!” Shane ordered before she could make a move. He went to the laboratory door and held it open. “You could stand to loosen up a bit and go with a more casual look.”

  Gabrielle’s cheeks burned fire as she walked toward him. “Oh, I will show you I can loosen up. Just you wait.”

  “Bring it on, Gabby,” Shane said as he followed her through the double doors. He was eager to finally see her look less like a schoolmarm and more like a woman.

  * * *

  The jazz lounge Shane took her to was filled with the after-work set wanting to ease the load after a hard day. Gabrielle could sure use a drink. The phone call with her mother a few days ago had released some emotions she’d thought she’d buried. She’d thought she was long past caring if her parents wanted to see her, so it had surprised her when her mother remembered her favorite meal.

  Shane, meanwhile, was uneasy. He’d been feeling off-kilter all day and was happy when Gabrielle had insisted on driving separately in her rental car. It gave him some breathing room and time to figure out what it was he was doing. He’d never dated a coworker, much less a subordinate. Though cocktails after work hardly qualified as a date, he would never have thought he would willingly spend time in Gabrielle Burton’s company. Yet there was something about her that intrigued him. He wanted to know more.

  They slid inside a plush velvet booth and a blonde waitress in an electric-blue bustier came over to ask for their drink order. She was buxom, just how he liked his women; he couldn’t even tell if Gabrielle had a figure under the dour clothes she wore. “We’ll have two Scorpions.”

  Gabrielle huffed from his side. “Do you always order for your women? Because I’m quite capable of doing so myself.”

  Shane smiled at her Miss Independent stance. “It is their signature drink. Trust me, you’ll love it. It has bite.”

  “Well apparently, I’ll have to love it.”

  “Must you always be so…so obstinate?”

  His word choice made Gabrielle laugh. No one had ever used that adjective to describe her before. “Only with you,” she added.

  Shane turned to face her. “Why is that? Why do I seem to irk you so much?”

  Gabrielle cocked her head to one side. “Honestly?”

  “Honesty would be nice.”

  “In school, it was because you were a privileged playboy who didn’t have to work hard like the rest of us.”

  “How the hell do you think I got in? They only took the best.”

  “Back then, I thought you’d bought your way in,” Gabrielle replied. “But then I soon realized you had talent to back up all that bravado, and I had some competition. I didn’t like it.”

  “No, you didn’t.”

  The waitress came back with their drinks and Shane lifted his glass. “Welcome aboard, Gabby.”

  Gabrielle sighed. It was clear that Shane wasn’t going to stop calling her by her nickname. But she supposed it wasn’t so bad after all. “Thank you.” She lifted her glass and clicked it against his.

  “I have to ask, what made you decide to leave L’Oréal to come to a lesser-known company?” Shane inquired, sipping his drink. “Most chemists would have thought that a dream job.”

  “And initially it was,” Gabrielle replied. “When you’re a young chemist you see stars, but as time passed it became harder and harder to make my mark.”

  “And you see that chance here at Adams Cosmetics, I surmise?”

  “If you’re willing to hear what I have to say, I can.” Gabrielle took a liberal sip of her drink. “Mmm… This is good.”

  “Told ya.” Shane grinned. “So you’re not sure if I’ll listen to what you have to say?” He responded to her former comment.

  “Well…” Gabrielle shrugged. “You have made it clear that the laboratory is your area and that you have to approve everything.” She hazarded a look at him. “An Adams will always run Adams Cosmetics,” she said, attempting to sound masculine.

  Shane leaned back and laughed heartily. “That was a pretty good imitation. You see, Adams Cosmetics is not just a company to me—it’s my family’s business. It’s my heritage. It’s what I will leave behind to my kids. The same as my dad did for me and my sisters. I’m sorry if I sounded territorial.”

  The passion with which Shane spoke about AC had Gabrielle realizing she had misjudged him. There was truly depth of character to him. He wasn’t just some spoiled rich boy.

  “But I promise you this,
” Shane continued. “If you bring me a solid idea that will improve the products we’re producing, I will listen. Fair enough?”

  Shane smiled back at her, and Gabrielle’s insides turned to mush. There was no other way to describe the feeling, but at that exact moment, she became smitten with Shane Adams. Now she could see why women lined up to spend time with him. He had such a subtle way of charming a woman’s socks off that she didn’t realize she’d been charmed until the damage was done. “Fair enough,” she finally said, putting down her drink.

  “Good, I’m glad that’s settled,” Shane said. “So if we’re going to spend time together, I’d like to know more about you.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “For one, why did you decide to stay in Paris after school?”

  “At the time L’Oréal seemed like a dream job, and I didn’t particularly want to come home.”

  “Why not? Is there bad blood between you and your family?”

  “I guess you could say that.”

  “Where are you from, if you don’t mind my asking?”

  “Actually, here in Georgia. Marietta, to be exact.”

  “Really?” Shane was surprised. He’d always taken her for an East Coast girl who went to some preppy boarding school, which was why she acted so prim and proper. “And what made you decide on perfumery school of all places? Paris is a long way from Marietta.” He’d noticed Gabrielle was fidgeting in the booth, as if the topic of her past made her uncomfortable.

  “I’d always enjoyed chemistry and how things were made. Just seemed like a natural progression.”

  “I beg to differ. For me, yes. My family owns a cosmetics company, but you, you don’t even wear makeup. And well, perfume, you’re not wearing any.”

  “Wow, you don’t miss much.” She’d never quite mastered the art of putting on makeup. In Paris, she’d been too embarrassed to ask one of the makeup artists to teach her, so outside of a quick glide of lip gloss, she didn’t wear any.

  “I am in the beauty business. And I know women,” Shane said.

  “Oh, I know.”

  “You make it sound like a bad thing,” Shane replied, watching her carefully. “I happen to enjoy beautiful women and appreciate the female form. There is nothing wrong with that.”

  “I never said there was.”

  “No, you just implied it,” Shane responded. He leaned forward until he was inches away from her face. He stared deep into her big brown eyes. “Do you even know how to have fun? You know, let go.”

  Shane was so close to her, he could almost kiss her. Where had that thought come from? She didn’t want him to kiss her. Or so she told herself. It was just hard not to notice the raw masculinity and sexual energy radiating out of his every pore. Gabrielle pushed away from the table. “Of course. In Paris I spent time with my friends at the art galleries…museums…cafés. It was quite brilliant, I’ll have you know.”

  “It sounds brilliant,” Shane imitated her. “But I wasn’t talking about your friends. I was talking about with a man.”

  Gabrielle watched as Shane’s large masculine fingers rimmed the top of his glass. When his finger dipped inside to taste the drink and he licked it off, she swallowed hard. He couldn’t know how sexy that little action was to her. She could feel her body temperature rising, and she began to feel warm all over. Or perhaps it was just the way Shane was looking at her. It was the first time she’d seen him look at her that way. He wasn’t looking at her as a coworker or former rival. He was looking at her as a woman.

  “I…I’ve had boyfriends.”

  Shane raised an eyebrow in amusement. “You mean Preston?” He couldn’t resist a chuckle.

  “Why are you laughing?”

  “Because I doubt Preston knew what to do with a woman, much less a woman as independent and obstinate as you. You probably walked all over the poor schmuck. I doubt that was much of a turn-on. No woman likes a man she can walk over.”

  “Excuse me? You have no idea what I like or what turns me on.”

  “Wanna bet?” Shane took her statement as a challenge and rose from the booth.

  “What are you doing?” She looked up at him.

  “Let’s dance.” Shane didn’t wait for her to answer. Instead, he placed his empty glass on the table, and pulled her out of the booth and toward the dance floor.

  Gabrielle tried unsuccessfully to pull away. “I can’t dance. I have two left feet.”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll lead you,” Shane said. When Gabrielle hesitated, he asked, “I thought you said you could take the heat?”

  “I can,” Gabrielle said more firmly, in an attempt to convince herself. “I can take the heat.” Her head was spinning at being this close to Shane and she felt rattled. She’d always thought he was attractive. Who wouldn’t? But this, this was different. This was deeper and coming from a place more primal. She wanted him.

  Shane grasped one of her hands in his and placed the other around his waist. Then he twirled her onto the dance floor and circled his arm around her waist.

  Gabrielle was breathless and just a tad bit giddy as they danced. Shane guided her easily around the dance floor to the midtempo jazz tune. He bent down to rest his head lightly against the side of her face, and she could feel his breath against her cheek.

  A slow song came on and Shane slowed the tempo. Shane closed the gap between them until they were chest to chest and hip to hip. When he ground his hips against hers, Gabrielle thought she might faint. Her cheeks became warm, and she could feel liquid heat, unlike any she’d ever felt before, pooling in the lower half of her body. There was no mistaking that Shane Adams knew exactly what turned her on.

  And when his hands reached out to caress her face, Gabrielle couldn’t help but look up into his hazel eyes. She understood what she saw there: lust, plain and simple. But she never expected him to act on it. So she was surprised when Shane leaned down to brush his lips gently across hers. It was the softest of kisses, but it sent a shiver running up her spine all the same. She didn’t—couldn’t—stop him when he deepened the kiss.

  * * *

  Shane was happy Gabrielle didn’t stop the kiss, because it allowed his tongue entry into her hot, waiting mouth. She tasted juicy and sweet, like nectar, and Shane wanted more. He pulled her more firmly to him, fusing their mouths and tongues together. He was just about to suck on her tongue, when the music stopped.

  Shane pulled up, and Gabrielle opened her eyes at the sudden interruption of something she wasn’t even sure she’d wanted until now.

  Shane stepped away from her, running his fingers through his curly fro. “That shouldn’t have happened.” Disappointment showed in Gabrielle’s eyes at his comment, but he couldn’t help it. Gabrielle wasn’t even his type, so he didn’t know why he was mauling her on the dance floor in front of witnesses. Worse yet, she was his employee. “We should go.” He motioned for her to precede him off the dance floor.

  When they returned to the table, Gabrielle’s head was hung low, as if she was embarrassed. But he was the one who’d kissed her. “Listen, Gabby,” Shane began, but she held up her hand.

  “Don’t bother to explain,” Gabrielle replied. “I understand. I know it was an impulsive move. I mean…I’m not even your type, right?” She laughed nervously. “I’m not beautiful or glamorous like the women you’re used to. I’m just plain old Gabby. I mean, who would want to kiss me?” Gabrielle stood suddenly, reached for her purse on the table and quickly rushed out of the lounge.

  Chapter 4

  Shane noticed that Gabrielle maintained her distance the following week. She spoke when spoken to, but there was no friendly conversation as there had been during her first week. And when lunchtime came around, she bolted out of the room so fast he had no time to speak to her about what had happened that night at the lounge.

  She wasn’t the only one stunned by that kiss; Shane had been surprised too by the attraction he’d felt for Gabby. Matter of fact, if the music hadn’t stopped, he wo
uld have continued kissing her, fueled by the lower half of his body. Gabrielle was right when she said she was normally not his type, but she was wrong if she thought he’d pulled away because she wasn’t beautiful enough. Gabrielle had a natural soft beauty of her own; she had warm almond-shaped brown eyes, a perky nose, round cheeks and clear skin, all without the benefit of makeup. She was beautiful in her own right. And he was sorry if he’d made her feel otherwise.

  And he would tell her all of that if she would give him half a chance, but she seemed determined not to speak to him. She’d done everything she could to keep him at arm’s length, and it frustrated the hell out of him.

  When the end of the day came, Gabrielle was the first one to leave, barely saying goodbye as she left. Perhaps Gabby was on to something. Maybe it was better if they kept their relationship strictly business.

  * * *

  Gabrielle exhaled once she’d finally gotten in her rental car and started the engine. She’d done a good job of dodging Shane the past week and had avoided having an embarrassing conversation about how he regretted the kiss, which just so happened to be the best kiss she’d ever had. It was passion and lust all rolled into one, and she’d wanted it to continue, but obviously Shane hadn’t. He probably preferred his women to be beautiful, sexy and voluptuous, which she wasn’t. She had slender hips, B-cup-size breasts and a small behind.

  Maybe Courtney had been on to something when she’d indicated Gabrielle could use a makeover. If she appealed to Shane’s male sensibilities and his appreciation of the female form, perhaps then he would listen to her ideas. She could use her womanly charms to make him cooperate with her in the lab. Should she take Courtney up on her offer? And if she did, would Shane then notice her and realize she could be sexy and worthy of his attention?

  Gabrielle couldn’t believe she was actually considering changing her appearance. She told herself it was to make headway in her profession and it wasn’t for a man, but deep down she knew it was. She wanted Shane to find her desirable, because as much as she tried to hide it, tried to ignore it, the attraction she’d once felt for Shane was still there.