An Act of Redemption: Order & Chaos Book 3

by Wolfe, Samantha

  "You are something else." I rolled my eyes at him since I didn't want to encourage his ego or have him figure out that I found it as charming as it was exasperating. Dating him had to be a mind jolting roller-coaster ride. It made me appreciate Ford's even straightforward personality more.

  "So I've been told," he said with an unapologetic expression that quickly turned serious again. "I had a spiritual transformation of sorts. It started with the loss of someone important to me that rattled everything I thought I knew about myself. It was followed by a nasty divorce when I implemented some much-needed changes in my life. I'd felt powerless for so long as I tried to mold myself into someone I wasn't. I'd been stuffing down my unhappiness and pretending that I was fine for so long, that I lost myself. It was a long road getting it back." He shrugged and smiled again. "But now I'm the cocky, yet charming bastard, who women can't resist that I should have been all along."

  "Oh my God," I said as I shook my head in exasperation. "You are incorrigible."

  "So I've been told." He smirked and winked at me again, and it earned him another eye roll. He merely laughed. There was that damn charm again.

  The sound of the front door opening ended our conversation. I realized that he'd calmed me down without me even being aware of it. The man was good. No wonder he was a successful attorney.

  Ford walked into the room with a stoic expression on his face that I knew was utter bullshit. The hand that he was running nervously through his hair gave him away completely.

  Gareth stood abruptly. "Well, I need to get going," he announced. "I need to speak to my investigator. He's got some new things to look into now, namely a Detective Warren. He seems entirely too adamant about pinning these rapes on you. The prick's rubbing me the wrong way, and making me suspicious of a possible connection to that Bennett asshole."

  Ford's eyes zeroed in on Gareth with a small spark of hope. "You think he's the dirty cop?"

  "I don't know. Maybe," Gareth replied. "But I never ignore my gut feelings. They're usually right."

  "He's a real prick," I added with a frown. "I don't like him."

  "I imagine no one does," Gareth said in a low growl, "even the douchebag's own mother." He started heading toward the door. "I'll be in touch soon." He placed a comforting hand on Ford's shoulder for a moment and nodded knowingly at me, before swiftly leaving the house like a man on a mission. Ford watched him leave then turned back to me with a lost expression as he shifted on his feet. He ran a hand through his blond hair again as fear ghosted across his face.

  I stood and reached for him. He rushed over to me and breathed out a heavy sigh of relief as he pulled me in close. I latched my arms around his neck and held him tight. I didn't say a word. Right now, he just needed to hold me and be held. I gave him the comfort he needed so badly.

  A few moments later, he pulled back just enough to look at me. There was terror, and worry, and pain in his beautiful indigo eyes, and I didn't know anything to say that could take it away. I didn't know what else to do, so I pulled his head down to mine and kissed him with all the love and passion I had inside me.

  He kissed me back with a desperation that spoke of his fear and helplessness, and his need for some relief from the heavy burden that was pressing down on him. That I knew how to give him.

  "Make love to me," I whispered against his lips. "Lose yourself in me. Let it all go for a while, baby."

  His only answer was a low rumbling growl as he scooped me up in his arms. He carried me upstairs to bed, and we proceeded to lose ourselves in each other for a very long time after that, before finally falling into an exhausted blessed sleep in each other's arms.

  **********

  I woke when Ford gasped awake and jerked upright sometime in the middle of the night again. I could hear his gasping breaths as he fought to calm himself. "Fuck me," he whispered so softly under his breath that I almost didn't hear him.

  I stayed still with my back toward him, so he'd think that I was asleep, as I pressed my lips together with worry. I hoped this time he'd lay back down and fall asleep again like he'd done an hour or so ago, but instead I felt the bed move as he swung his legs off the side and stood. I could hear the rustling of clothing as he dressed, and I stifled a sob. His suffering was killing me. It was going to be another long sleepless night for him. I waited until I heard him leave the room, then slowly sat up and stared after him with a deep frown.

  Did I go after him? He hated looking weak, but I think he needed me more. I sat and fretted for several minutes before I finally made a decision. I just couldn't lie here while Ford was somewhere else alone suffering. I flung the blankets off myself and got out of bed. I pulled on the shorts and T-shirt I'd left on the floor then made my way downstairs.

  The living room and the adjoining kitchen were empty as I expected. I crossed the living room, grabbing the thick throw off the couch as I passed. I wrapped it around my shoulders before slipped outside into the chilly night air. I frowned as I wondered where he'd gone when I saw he wasn't on the patio. I moved to the top of the flagstone steps that led to the lake shore and sighed in relief when I looked down and saw him. Ford was sitting on one of the chaise lounges that sat in the grass near the small pebble beach, surrounded by the soft glow of the landscaping lights.

  It was the same place where he'd first told me that he wanted to spend his life with me and have babies with me, that I'd always be his. We made love on that chaise lounge, and I'd known in that moment that Ford was my future, my everything. Now, all of that was threatened. Tears pricked my eyes. I hurried silently down the steps to him.

  As I got closer, I noticed his shoulders were hunched over and his face was buried in his hands as his body shook with quiet sobs. It was absolutely heartbreaking.

  "Ford?" I called out in a soft quavering voice as I stopped a few feet away. I didn't want to startle him.

  He abruptly sat up and turned toward me, frantically wiping the tears from his face. "I'm...I'm sorry, honey," he blurted out in a thick voice. "I...I didn't mean to wake you."

  I pressed my lips together as I walked the last few feet then sat down next him. I wrapped my arms around his torso and hugged him tight. He curled an arm around my shoulders. "I know you haven't been sleeping, and I'm worried about you, baby," I said.

  "I'm fine," he lied. There was that denial again. I didn't know why he thought he had to act so strong for me. I was here for him for the good and the bad.

  "Don't lie to me," I chided him gently as I called him out on his bullshit. I leaned away and met his eyes. "You've barely been sleeping for days, and you haven't said one word about what happened at the interview today."

  He looked startled and uncomfortable now as he stiffened. He must have thought I hadn't noticed his disrupted sleep recently, and he'd been evasive today whenever I asked him about the interview. Fortunately, Gareth told me what happened, so I hadn't pushed him about it yet, but I think he needed to talk about it now. Maybe it would help him sleep if he did.

  "Now you're out here crying all alone," I continued in a worried tone. "You are not fine, and you know it."

  He hung his head, and I was afraid he'd refuse to talk about it, but he started speaking quietly. "I was accused of rape again," he said in a whisper that was harsh with emotion. "It was a woman into rope bondage named Tara Clayton that I slept with for a few months last winter."

  "I know," I replied. "Gareth told me." I didn't ask about her because I didn't care, and it didn't matter. It was in the past, and Ford had never given me a reason to be jealous.

  "I swear. I'm trying not to give up, honey." His voice started breaking. "I'm trying so hard."

  "I know," I sobbed out.

  "But it's getting harder not to think I'm going to lose everything."

  I hugged him again and buried my face against his chest as I wept.

  "I keep dreaming that I'm all alone in a tiny room with no windows or doors. I can hear your voice calling out for me, but I'm trapped in the dark, and I can'
t get to you." He took a massive shuddering breath. "I can hear Bennett laughing at me, and gloating that he's won."

  The mention of Carter made my guilt flare to life again. I knew it was irrational, but the emotion was real nonetheless. It was just as real as my anger at the bastard for doing this to the man I loved.

  "The walls start closing in on me. The room keeps getting smaller and smaller, until I can't move, can't breath." He sucked in another breath. "That's what I feel like all the time, waking or sleeping. It's breaking me, crushing me." He sobbed softly. "I can't help feeling like Carter has already won, so what's the point in fighting it anymore." He hung his head in defeat.

  "I'll tell you what the point is, Ford," I said vehemently as I straightened and gave him a stern glare. "This." I motioned with a hand back and forth between us. "You, me, and the future we planned in this very spot. What we have is special and real, and worth fighting for tooth and nail, and not giving up on. Carter wants to destroy what he can't understand and can never have. Love. Nothing else is more worthy of fighting for, Ford. Nothing." I reached up and held his face in my palms, and gave him a hard stare. "Nothing," I repeated fiercely. "I love you, Ford, and we're going to have a future together, a family together. We were meant to be, and we're going to have it all, and that bastard can just fuck the hell off."

  "Oh honey, I love you too," he said as a small smile somehow managed to pull at the corners of his beautiful lips. The smile abruptly faltered, his eyes swimming with fear and uncertainty. "I won't give up. I promise, but it's getting so hard. Shit just keeps coming at me from all sides. I don't know if I can weather the storm."

  "Then let me be your anchor, your rock." I told him as I pulled him down until our foreheads touched. "You know you don't have to weather it alone. Lean on me. Let me be your strength. You held me up when I struggled. Let me do the same for you."

  "Okay," he whispered as he pulled me into his lap and held me so close I could barely breath. I didn't care. I'd let him hold me as tight as he wanted if that's what he needed. A few moments later, he stood and carried me up to the house, then all the way back upstairs to bed without another word. He stripped both of us of our clothes, and pulled me down into bed with him, draping me across his chest. I lie there awake listening to his breathing slow and then finally evened out as he fell sleep.

  I sat up and gently brushed his hair from his face, then watched him sleep for a while. His face finally looked calm and at ease for the first time in days. It had been too long since I'd seen it. Ford didn't deserve any of this. He was a good man, and this wasn't right. Righteous anger coalesced inside me, and I welcomed it's vivid heat and clarity. I was so tired of the all-encompassing helplessness that was ruling our lives. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to do something to try to fix this. Tomorrow, I was done sitting and waiting for someone else to help Ford as more and more stress piled on top of him. I was going to do something about it, and I knew just the person who would be more than willing to help me.

  **********

  A slow evil grin spread across my brother's face and his eyes lit up with glee after I told him I needed his help. It replaced the anger that had been growing as I explained the new development in the case against Ford, and how badly he was coping. Now Andy looked downright giddy as he sat across from me. No one lived for scheming like my big brother.

  We were sitting in my office at Purcell Auto after I'd dragged him back here from the garage when I arrived a few minutes ago. This morning, I told Ford that I had to go into work for a few hours this afternoon. I tried to convince myself it wasn't really a lie. I was going to Purcell Auto. I just wasn't going there to work. I hated to leave him, but I needed to go despite the hurt and disappointed expression he wore when I left. Even after managing to sleep for a few hours last night, Ford still looked awful today, tired and drawn with dark circles under his eyes. The stress was getting to him, and I was so worried. I really had no choice but to do this for him.

  Andy sat forward, and his grin widened. "We're going to go talk to that Sarina chick like I wanted to in the first place, and the other woman too," he said enthusiastically as he nodded to himself. "That's what we're going to do."

  "How the hell are we going to do that?" I asked in irritated exasperation. "We don't even know where they live."

  Andy rolled his eyes and stood. He came around my desk and pulled me up out of my chair. "Watch and learn, oh sister of mine," he said smugly as he sat down in front of my computer. "Watch and learn."

  He opened our customer database. I grimaced. Dad would be pissed if he knew we were using our system for something like this. Good thing neither of us planned on ever telling him. Andy typed in Sarina Wilkinson's name, and hit enter. Her name, address, and phone number all popped up. He turned and winked at me with a brisk nod, before pulling out his phone and taking a picture of the screen. Then he typed in Tara Clayton, but came up empty handed. "Fuck," he grumbled under his breath. He tapped on the edge of the keyboard for a second. He snapped his fingers then typed in a website I'd never heard of and logged on with a username and password.

  "What the hell is that?" I asked in bewilderment as I leaned closer to the screen.

  "It's the site we use to do background checks for potential employees," he explained as the site popped up. He typed in Tara Clayton. A few moments later, a list of women by that name came up. He started scrolling through them. Halfway down he found the only Tara Clayton listed in town. He clicked on it and an address for her popped up immediately.

  "Booya!" he blurted out in satisfaction as he surged upright out of the chair and threw his hands up. He pretended to drop an invisible microphone in front of me. "I'm a goddamn evil fucking genius."

  I grinned like an idiot and hugged my brother fiercely. "Yes, you are!"

  "It's about damn time you admitted it," he said warmly as he hugged me back. "It only took twenty-six years."

  "If anyone asks, I'm completely denying it," I answered as I leaned back and continued grinning up at him.

  His smirk turned into a soft affectionate smile. "Come on, let's go. We've got the love of your life to save."

  "Okay." I fought down the surge of emotion that hit me. We didn't have time for me to blubber right now.

  Andy quickly took another picture of my computer screen before logging off, then I grabbed my purse, and we headed out of my office. We cut through the garage, and Andy grabbed a set of keys off the large key rack on the wall.

  "I'm going out for a while, Denny!" Andy called across the busy garage.

  Denny's big blond head popped out from under a nearby sedan, scaring the shit out of me. "Ten-four, boss!" He grinned up at me when he noticed that he startled me. "Can you bring me back Starbucks?" He gave Andy a pathetic pleading expression.

  Andy flipped him off. "I'm taking the Corolla, and get your own fucking latte."

  Denny made a pouting face. "You suck." He disappeared back under the car grumbling out "I'm not even going to miss you."

  "Whatever." Andy rolled his eyes with an amused smirk, before leading me outside.

  "Why are we taking one of the loaners?" I asked curiously.

  He looked at me like I was dense. "Do you want to drive to these chicks' addresses in a turquoise Mini Cooper or an obnoxious yellow Mitsubishi Evo?"

  "Uh...no." I grimaced. He had a very valid point. I narrowed my eyes at him. "Did you just admit that your car is obnoxious?"

  "I plead the fifth." He winked at me.

  I followed him over to the most nondescript tan car on our lot, and we climbed in. He pulled out his phone and looked up the addresses on a map. "Hmm." He glanced at me. "Looks like this Clayton chick is closest. Is that okay?"

  "Let's do it."

  He nodded, and started the car. Within minutes, we were on the road to Tara Clayton's house. We spent the ride there chatting idly about our family and Lydia's pregnancy, until Andy finally parked a few blocks from the address. We both sat in silence for a long moment as trepidation
set in.

  "How do you want to play this?" Andy asked me with a serious expression as he began unbuttoning his blue Purcell Auto work shirt.

  "I...I don't know." I didn't think that far ahead. I felt stupid.

  He looked thoughtful as he pulled off the button-down to reveal the plain black T-shirt he wore underneath. He stuffed the work shirt under his seat. "Jehovah's Witnesses?" he asked facetiously as he grinned at me.

  "You're an idiot."

  "Nuh-uh," he quipped. "You admitted I'm a genius. Remember?"

  "I admit nothing," I denied immediately, then stared straight ahead, tapping my mouth with a finger thoughtfully. "Reporters?" I suggested.

  "That could work." He frowned. "But how will we explain knowing who they are?"

  "Right." I pursed my lips in thought as Andy drummed his fingers on the steering wheel with a frown. "What do we do then?" I asked worriedly. "We can't go to her door sounding like clueless idiots, or she'll know something is up."

  "Let's just wing it," Andy said with a dark evil grin. "I'll figure it out on the fly." I eyed him suspiciously. His grin widened. "Trust me."

  I narrowed my eyes for second, noting the confident spark in his eyes. My brother was quick-witted and loyal to a fault. If anyone could do this, it was him. He would do anything to help me, and he'd never hurt me if he could help it. He was one of the best men I knew, and I trusted him completely. "Okay, let's go."

  He practically jumped out of the car, and I had to hurry to catch up to him. I came up beside him, and he was humming something under his breath. After a second, I realized what it was, and I rolled my eyes. "Why are you humming the theme to Mission Impossible?" I asked in exasperation.

  "Just getting in the mood," he said with a smirk.

  I shook my head and rolled my eyes at him yet again as I frowned. "We're not spies," I grumbled out. Did I mention he was also an idiot?

  He came to a stop and grabbed my shoulders. "Jenny. Don't worry. I got this." His face was probably the most serious I'd ever seen it. "I know how important this is. Ford's life is on the line, and yours too. You guys are meant to be together, and I'll do anything to make sure you stay that way." He smiled warmly. "Besides, you guys owe me a niece or a nephew, since I already have one for you on the way."