Start a Fire: A Dark High School Bully Romance (The Savage Crew Book 1)

by Julia Wolf

  “I doubt they mind that.”

  She rolled her eyes. “I’m their last great hope. My brother is a lost cause, so it’s down to me. And they’re being all weird, attempting to bond as a family.”

  I pretended to shiver. “Oh, how horrible.”

  She threatened me with her pencil. “It’s horrible when they have exactly zero idea how to be warm and fuzzy. They're like robots, mimicking human behavior. But they’re like those robots in Disney World. You know, in the Hall of Presidents? Their wax skin is sort of melting off, their movements are stilted, and you can practically hear their gears turning.”

  That made me laugh. “That’s a very specific comparison.”

  She shrugged. “Guess where we went last spring break.”

  “Oh jeez. Did you wear matching Mickey ears?”

  Her eyes went comically wide. “Have you been peeping my family vacation pics?”

  I laughed harder. “I have not. That was a total guess, which I can’t believe was accurate.”

  She collapsed back against my bed. “Enough about my sad, sad life. Tell me about your weekend. What did you do yesterday?”

  “Worked until four and then…”

  Her eyebrows popped up. “And then…?”

  “And then Sebastian.”

  Sitting down again, I told Bex all about the skatepark and Sebastian’s art, how he took me to dinner at the T. The way it had all been so easy—the milkshake and fries and making fun of me for stealing his food. Then I told her how he’d taken me home and we made out like bandits in the parking lot. I left out the part where I would have invited him in and said screw the two weeks, except my mom had been home and there was no way I’d ever be comfortable having sex while she was within the same walls.

  “Whoa. So, is he, like, officially your boyfriend?” she asked.

  “No. Definitely not. I think we’re just dealing with a super strong attraction.” Even I didn’t believe myself.

  Bex shoved my leg. “Really? He made a painting in a very public place inspired by your drawings. That’s more than just attraction. Plus, you were thinking about having sex with him. Are you that casual about sex? Because I’m still in the phase where having sex is a huge deal.”

  “It’s a big deal.” I stretched out my legs in front of me. “My intro to sex wasn’t great, then, in Switzerland, I had a few fumbling, sweet encounters with my boyfriend. And now...well, Sebastian’s hot. He’s good at...things.”

  Bex snorted. “Things.”

  I giggled too. “Yes, things. He’s good at them. And I sort of want to get the rest out of the way so it’s not hanging over our heads.”

  She eyed me speculatively. “You haven’t mentioned how much you like him.”

  “I don’t want to mention any of that.”

  “Well, he still scares me.” She tapped her pencil on her notebook. “I guess he seems okay other than that.”

  “That’s pretty much Sebastian. He’s scary, but otherwise okay. And in some regards, more than okay.”

  “Then call his ass, tell him you’re ready to give him your flower, and I’m sure he’ll be right over.”

  With a loud groan, I collapsed on Bex. “My flower went missing a long time ago, girl. And I’m not inviting him here with my mom two feet away.”

  “Then invite yourself to his place.”

  I pulled my knees to my chest. “I’ve never been to his place. I don’t even know where he lives.”

  Her brow pinched. “Really? I mean, I guess it’s not crazy you haven’t been to his house, but you have no idea where he lives?”

  I shook my head. “None. I’ve also never asked. I’ve been trying to remove him from my life, not shove myself into his.”

  “That makes sense.” Her lips twisted to the side. “It took a while for you to invite me over. Maybe Bash isn’t too comfortable letting new people see where he lives.”

  “I do know I won’t have the answer until I ask him. If I ask him.” This topic was too confusing to continue discussing. My feelings for Sebastian were already so mixed up, the last thing I needed was someone else adding to it. “Have you spoken to Elijah lately?”

  Bex’s cheeks lit up in a blush, and I breathed easier, the spotlight shifting to my friend instead of me. We spent the rest of her visit analyzing her text conversations with Elijah, who had asked her to join him at the beach again, just the two of them this time.

  When she went home, I stared at my phone. I hadn’t heard from Sebastian all day, which wasn’t unusual, but after yesterday, I thought I might.

  Then I got angry at myself for waiting for him to text. Part of me thought if he wanted to speak to me, he’d initiate a conversation. Another part of me, the part that had been raised by two feminists, said fuck that. If I wanted to talk to a boy, I wouldn’t hang on by my nails to see if he’d contact me.

  I tapped out a message, then threw my phone across my bed like it was haunted.

  Me: Hey. Did you get a chance to go over our math assignment?

  It was so blatantly obvious I’d been fishing for a reason to text, my entire face burned with embarrassment, but that didn’t stop me from leaping onto my phone when it chimed.

  Bash: Hey, you. I did. Did you not check before you texted?

  Me: Oh. No. Obviously not.

  Bash: Ah, Grace. You don’t need a made-up reason to text, baby. I was thinking about you too.

  Me: Really? Awkward. I was just doing my homework…

  Bash: Can’t fool me. You’re obsessed.

  Me: With my homework? Yeah. I mean, it’s imperative I get good grades this semester to get into the college of my choice.

  Bash: Keep talking smart to me. See if I don’t text you a pic of my dick.

  Me: Bahahaha…sooo…what do you think about Elijah? Would he make a good boyfriend?

  Bash: For you? No, because he’d be a rotting corpse in the ground if he tried. Anyone else, sure, nice guy.

  Me: Obviously not for me.

  Bash: Why’s that obvious? You were just chilling with him at the beach last weekend…

  Me: Right. And who did I go home with?

  Bash: I don’t like when you talk about other guys.

  Me: I don’t want to fight with you over text. Can we move this to in person?

  I sat there on my bed with my phone in my hands, waiting. And waiting. It took nearly ten minutes for Sebastian to reply. By then, I knew the answer before I read it.

  Bash: Wish like hell I could say yes. I’ve got something going on tonight.

  Me: Something?

  Another long pause, making my already knotted stomach feel sick.

  Bash: Yeah. I’ve gotta go. We’ll talk tomorrow.

  This time, I didn’t reply. My head and heart hurt. Silly me for falling for the boy who liked my tears as much as my pleasure. I’d given and he’d taken, but it had only been reciprocated in small increments. The one time I asked not just for his time, but for a simple answer, and he couldn’t or wouldn’t give it to me.

  I wouldn’t throw myself at him. If Sebastian wanted this, then he was going to have to be the one to start giving.

  I plugged my phone in to its charger and walked away, spending the rest of the evening with my mom, quizzing each other on Spanish and forgetting the rest of the world.

  * * *

  I went with a power move on Monday, wearing a white mini, platform Docs, black thigh-high socks, and a cropped black turtleneck. Overdressed for school for sure, but I needed it. Looking fly and confident when I didn’t feel it was my armor.

  Sebastian wasn’t the only one I was shielding myself against. I’d had a weekend respite from Elena, but there was no way she’d let me slapping her just slide. The last thing I wanted was another confrontation, but I’d be ready if it happened. I knew what she was armed with, so she couldn’t hurt me again.

  That didn’t mean my gut wasn’t churning as I walked up the steps to the school. When Gabe yelled my name from the wall at the top, it only got worse.
I refused to look in that direction as I continued on my way, scratching my cheek with my middle finger as I passed.

  I knew he was there. His stare weighed more than anyone else’s, and I felt it heavy on my back. He could look all he wanted, but I wasn’t going to be his little toy anymore.

  Relief blew through me when I took my seat in sociology beside Bex, slumping over my desk. She raised a brow in question, and I groaned.

  “Don’t ask.”

  “That’s the worst possible thing you can say to a chronically nosy person.” She leaned closer. “You were in such a good mood when I left you yesterday, did something happen?”

  “No. Nothing. Just grumpy. Do you think we can have lunch with Ms. Steinberg today?”

  She scrunched her nose, but nodded. “For sure. She said I can come in anytime.”

  “Let’s do that.”

  “Are you avoiding Bash?”

  “Yes. But can we not talk about it?”

  “No problem. Personally, I’d like to avoid Gabe for the rest of my life, so eating lunch in the art room works for me in every way.” She wrote Gabe on the corner of her notebook paper, then crossed it out, so I wrote Sebastian on mine and scribbled all over it.

  We both giggled at how juvenile and ridiculous we were being, but it felt kind of good anyway.

  Most of that good feeling had worn away by the time math class came around. I considered skipping, but that would have only delayed the inevitable. I had to pass this class in order to graduate, so my butt had to be planted in my seat every day.

  Sebastian and Gabe entered class just as the bell rang. Mr. Klaski tried to grumble at them, but they ignored him completely. Gabe waved to me, then hollered Helen’s name, even though she was two rows over and could have heard him whisper. Bash slipped into his chair next to mine during Gabe’s commotion, reaching out and fingering the ends of my hair.

  “You’re mad at me again,” he stated.

  Sighing, I opened my math notebook and kept my eyes trained on Mr. Klaski. He was once again explaining the project Sebastian and I had already finished, so I could have taken a nap or answered the boy beside me. But I didn’t want to. I didn’t even know what to say. I wasn’t really mad, but I hadn’t come up with a word for the wicked twisting of my emotions.

  After a minute of my stony silence, Sebastian tossed a folded piece of paper on my desk. I pushed it aside, which only made him send another note my way. By the fourth note, he started attracting attention, so I gave in.

  Grace,

  Open the first note.

  SV

  Instead of doing as I was told, I opened the other two notes first, which said the exact same thing. Then I made a show of flattening them with my hand and sliding them into my backpack. When I’d delayed for as long as I could, I opened the first note.

  Grace,

  Don’t be angry with me. I missed you yesterday.

  You run, I’ll catch.

  So don’t run. Cut that shit out now.

  Two days left.

  SV

  Eyes burning, I wadded his note up and shoved it into my backpack. I would have thrown it on the floor, but I didn’t want anyone else reading it. Not that anyone else would understand what “two days left” meant, but I’d rather my humiliation not be on display for strangers. It was bad enough to have to live with it inside my own head.

  “Grace,” he said low and I would have said gentle, except I knew better.

  “Just stop,” I hissed, hiding my wet eyes behind my arm. “Please.”

  His eyes never left me once for the rest of class, but he didn’t say anything else. When the bell rang to signal the end of the period, we both stood at the same time. My eyes met his for the briefest moment, and he whispered my name again, but I turned away.

  He followed me up the aisle and Gabe met us at the door. Gabe cocked his head at me, then slung an arm around my shoulder.

  “What’s wrong, little princess? You can tell Uncle Gabe.”

  “Last week, I was your mom.” I gave him a half-hearted shove in his ribs, but he barely budged.

  “We’re all kinds of incest-y up in here. Moms being nieces, uncles being sons.” He shuddered. “All right, never mind. That was too far, even for me. Why you gotta make me say sick shit like that, Grace?”

  A short giggle bubbled out of me. “I’m a terrible influence. You should definitely stay away.”

  Bash rounded on me, stopping in my path. His eyes flicked to Gabe’s, then back to mine. “I need a minute with Grace. We’ll see you at lunch.”

  Gabe gave my hair a ruffle. “I know when I’m not wanted. See you lovebirds around.”

  When we were alone, Sebastian stepped into my space, cupping my jaw. “Are you seriously this upset with me for yesterday or did something else happen? I need you to speak.”

  I didn’t bother shrugging him off. He wouldn’t go until he was ready.

  “I’m meeting Bex at Ms. Steinberg’s room. That’s where I’m going right now.”

  Those dark eyes bored into me, searching for every last one of my secrets. Except I wasn’t the one who had secrets. That was all him.

  “I’ll walk you.”

  “I know how to get there,” I said softly.

  “Fucking Grace.” Letting go of my face, he took my hand in his and wove his fingers between mine, but I stayed limp and unresponsive. “Stop it. I don’t like you like this.”

  I shrugged, resuming my trek to the art room on the other side of the building. Sebastian stayed with me the entire way, squeezing my hand like he was attempting to revive me.

  At the door to Ms. Steinberg’s class, I faced him again. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

  “That’s not a choice you can make.” He lowered his forehead to mine. “I do not agree.”

  I tugged my hand from his. “You don’t always get your way.”

  “You think I’m not well aware of that?” He jerked his head toward the door, sounding just as mad as I felt. “Go. Run. I’ll see you later.”

  I had no doubt this wasn’t over. But for now, I took sanctuary with Bex and my art.

  Chapter Twenty-four

  The rest of my day hadn’t gone as badly as I’d expected. Elena very pointedly ignored me in English, and she seemed to have gotten Nate leashed again, because he barely spared me a glance. Once school let out, excitement shot through my veins.

  It was time to start my metal work.

  Ms. Steinberg had given me final approval, and all my supplies were in the shop, waiting for me. I stopped in the bathroom to change into jeans and an old T-shirt and pulled my hair back in a ponytail. As cute as I’d looked in my tiny skirt and thigh highs, when I worked with metal and fire, the less skin exposed, the better.

  Shop was quiet and deserted when I showed up. I didn’t need anyone, though. This was solitary work, and exactly what I needed. I slipped on my safety gear and got started. Today, I would just be welding a base for my hanging sculpture—nothing complicated—but I’d get to weld for the first time in months.

  I let myself get lost in the process of using fire to heat metal and bend it to my will. If only people were so malleable.

  My frame came along easily. I thought about continuing to the next step, but decided to call it a day. I wasn’t in a rush, and I wanted my head to be completely in it when I began the more creative part of my pieces.

  I tossed my welding helmet on the table beside me, smoothing my hair off my forehead and behind my ears. Movement caught my eye from across the room, sending a bolt of surprise through me.

  I really shouldn’t have been surprised to see Sebastian. He’d already told me this was his domain.

  He got up from the stool he’d been sitting on and came toward me. “Do you need help?”

  “No.” I pulled my heavy apron over my head. “I’m done here. Just cleaning up.”

  He stopped on the other side of the metal table. “I’ll help.”

  Since I didn’t argue, we spent the next
several minutes straightening my tools and putting away my base. When that was finished, I had to face him. This was a conversation I could no longer avoid.

  Sebastian came around to my side of the worktable and caged me in with his arms. His face was level with mine, so close, it wouldn’t take much effort to brush my lips along his.

  “Are you ready to tell me why I left you a happy girl on Saturday, but today you’re acting like none of that shit happened between us?”

  “I asked for two weeks from you so we could get to know each other.”

  He jerked a nod. “And we have.”

  “We haven’t. I don’t know you, Bash. You’re secretive to the point I’m pretty sure you’re leading a double life. I have no idea where you live or what your life is like when you’re not in my presence. You have held yourself sealed tight while pulling my threads loose all while counting down the days to have sex with me.”

  His hand came up to my face, fingers pressing into my cheeks. “Gabe is the only person who’s ever been to my house. I don’t like it. I’m not proud of it. It’s not a secret, but it’s not where I want to take the girl I’m still convincing that I’m not a complete monster.”

  I shook my face free of him. “Stop it, Bash. Let’s not do this anymore. Forget me and go have sex with Hells or Diner Girl. I don’t have magic between my legs. What they have is just as good as mine. It’s probably better since they know what they’re doing.”

  “I could, you’re right. I want to have sex with you. I won’t lie about that. But if it was just that, then I would have fed you whatever lines you needed to get you on your back. Or I would have just taken what I wanted.” He pushed back from the table, dragging his fingers through his hair. “Tell me what I did wrong.”

  I threw my hands up, frustrated and out of my mind. “You have done a million things wrong!”

  He caught my wrists, pulling my hands down between us. “Let me be specific then. Tell me what I did wrong yesterday that flipped this switch.”

  I sucked in a deep breath, preparing to spill everything I’d been holding in. Sebastian’s thumb rubbing back and forth over my pulse threatened to derail me, but I marched forward.