The Heart's Voice

by Arlene James

  Dan shook his head. “My house is closer.”

  “That might be best,” Clay said. “The Holden place seems untouched. Besides, the Kinders are at the store, doing what they can there. I’ll let Abby know where you are.”

  Becca nodded. She hadn’t even thought about the store. What would they do if their only source of income had been destroyed? She couldn’t make herself think of it just yet, and since Dan was already handing Jemmy down into the back seat of the police car, she let him propel the situation along, as she had been doing. He reached for CJ next and stepped back to let Becca slide in beside Jem before dropping down on the outside, CJ on his lap. As Clay turned the car around, Becca laid her head back and felt an ache spread from her feet up.

  After a bit Dan asked a little loudly, “Anybody hurt?”

  “Haven’t heard of any fatalities or serious injuries,” Clay answered. “Got some damage, all right. Lots of roofs tore off and chimneys down, few busted windows. Mostly straight-line winds and lightning, I figure.”

  Dan looked to Becca. She lifted her head and repeated what Clay had said. “No fatalities or serious injuries so far as they know. Lots of damaged roofs, chimneys and windows. He figures it was mostly from straight-line winds and lightning, so I guess you were right about the twister not setting down here.”

  Dan nodded and turned his gaze out the window. “That’s good.”

  Clay looked into his rearview mirror, tilting his head back so he could see Becca. “You sure he’s all right? Something wrong with his ears?”

  Becca leaned forward. “Dan’s been deaf since he was hurt in an explosion in the military.”

  “Is that so? I never knew. Heard he was working out at your place, though.”

  “He came out to warn us,” she told Clay, wanting to set the record straight. “Good thing, too, because we took a direct hit. If we hadn’t got to the cellar quick, we wouldn’t be here now.”

  “Boy, that was some lucky!” Clay exclaimed.

  “More than lucky, if you ask me,” Becca said. “We had to walk in because Dan’s truck got wrapped around a tree.”

  The deputy whistled as he pulled over in front of Dan’s house. “He got insurance?”

  “He says so.”

  Dan opened the door and got out.

  “What about you?” the deputy asked.

  Becca grimaced. “Little bit.”

  “It’s a complete loss, is it?”

  “Except for the land.”

  “Can’t take the land, can they?”

  Might as well, Becca thought. With a sigh she started to slide across the seat, then paused, blinking back tears. Her voice shook when she asked, “Could you ask Abby to bring over diapers and clean clothes? We’re always leaving stuff at her place.”

  Clay Parks looked over his shoulder, sympathy in his eyes. “I sure will, ma’am.”

  “Thanks.”

  She grabbed the hand Dan extended to her and stepped out of the car. Broken tree limbs littered the yard, and the shrubs were looking kind of bare. A window screen lay on the front lawn, and the gutter was down on one side. Otherwise, the place looked the same as before.

  “I hafta go,” Jemmy whined, climbing out of the car. Becca nodded as she took CJ from Dan, who bent at the waist and waved to Clay.

  “Thanks.”

  “No problem.”

  Dan straightened and looked at Becca as the police car pulled back onto the street. “This is best,” he said. “Room for Abby and John, too, if need be.”

  She figured they’d have to wait and see before deciding who was going to stay where, but she was just too tired to say so. “Right now what we need is a bathroom,” she told him.

  “Got two of those,” he said. They walked slowly up the path and onto the porch, straight to the front door, which was standing slightly ajar. “Guess I didn’t shut it good,” he said, pushing it wide. He pointed to the stairs. “Up there.”

  Becca started Jemmy up the steps. Dan caught up and took CJ from her. She nodded a weary thanks and kept Jemmy climbing, though the stairs seemed to get steeper as they went. Finally they reached the landing, which opened onto a glaringly bare central hall with a window seat at the far end overlooking the backyard.

  “Center door on the left,” Dan said. “My bedroom and second bath next. Two bedrooms on the right. Plus, garage apartment out back.”

  Becca knew he was really saying that he had more than enough space for her and the kids and the Kinders, too, but that was a temporary solution beyond which she could not begin to think. She concentrated on taking care of Jemmy.

  The bathroom was long and narrow, with a clawfoot tub at one end beneath a small curtainless window. A gas heater stood between the tub and the toilet, with the sink placed closest to the door. Everything was white except the hardwood floor, faucets and the oval mirror above the sink—even the trash can.

  “Get some towels,” Dan said, walking across the hall to the linen closet positioned between the two extra bedrooms. As he carried the towels back to her, she saw that CJ was asleep on his shoulder.

  “We’ll just be a minute,” she promised.

  “Take your time.”

  She helped Jemmy, then sent her out and took a turn herself. After she washed her hands and face and slurped some water as Jem had done, she felt better, and when she opened the door Dan was standing there alone.

  “Abby’s here,” he explained.

  Becca hurried down the stairs, Dan on her heels. Abby appeared in the wide living-room entrance, and Becca fell into her arms. Abby steered her back into the big comfortable room, where CJ slept in one corner of the sofa and Jem slumped in the other.

  “Thank God you’re all right,” she was saying. “I was so worried about you! We didn’t know a thing until we woke up this morning and half the roof was off the house. We’ve been at the store packing ice into the freezers ever since. John reckoned it had missed you, and people were waiting when we got there, wanting batteries and nonperishables.” She stopped and took Becca by the shoulders. “Dan says you got hit hard.”

  Becca nodded, and the tears started to come. “It took everything, Abby, even Dan’s truck. If he hadn’t come to warn us…” She trailed off and shook her head.

  Abby turned to Dan. “How on earth did you know? We slept right through it.”

  “How did you know?” Becca asked, stepping forward and wiping at her tears with both hands.

  Dan slid his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “Just woke up. Storm came, and I knew I had to get to you.”

  Abby clapped a hand to her chest. “Divine intervention, that’s what it is.”

  Dan nodded and looked at his feet. Becca covered her mouth with her hand and sat down in the nearest chair. She’d always suspected that God had a specific reason for bringing Dan Holden into her life, but it wasn’t at all what she’d thought! Suddenly the future seemed even more of a puzzle to her than ever.

  Okay, Lord, she prayed silently, now what?

  “So long as everybody’s alive and well, we can work everything out,” Abby was saying. “Logically, I guess the first thing is getting you settled.”

  Dan said, “Here. I’ll move out to the garage apartment.”

  “Oh, no, Dan,” Becca protested, looking up sharply. “We can’t put you out of your own house.”

  “Dan’s right, honey,” Abby said. “We’ve got no place for you now. The back porch is flooded, and everything in it is ruined. Plus, a corner of the kitchen is open, and we’ve got to fix that first or lose it, too.”

  “The kids and I will rent your apartment,” Becca suggested to Dan, but he shook his head.

  “Too small. Not finished. Just a bedroom, really.”

  “Now you listen to Dan,” Abby put in. “We’ll figure out something else later.”

  “Room here for you and John,” Dan said to her.

  “No, no,” Abby said. “We’re fine where we are.”

  He nodded. “I’ll help make repairs.”
/>
  “Thank you, Dan.” Abby accepted with heartfelt gratitude. “Gracious, we already owe you so much.”

  “Settle for a ride to Duncan,” he said with a self-deprecating smile.

  “You can take our car,” Abby offered instantly, but he shook his head.

  “It’s better if someone else drives.”

  “Becca can. I’ll stay here with the kids.”

  “Becca’s tired,” he pointed out.

  Abby looked at Becca and said, “I’ll take you, then.” Realizing that Dan couldn’t have caught that, she faced him and repeated it.

  He nodded and walked over to Becca. Going down on his haunches, he laid a hand on her knee. She realized that she was letting him decide everything for her, but her brain felt dull and blank, and she could feel his certainty like a comforting blanket. Rejecting that required more strength than she could muster at the moment.

  “Get comfortable,” Dan said deliberately. “Abby brought diapers. Help yourself to anything you need. Kids will be hungry.”

  Jemmy perked up at that and struggled up onto one elbow. “Chocolate milk,” she pleaded, “and cookies.”

  Dan rose, chuckling, and ruffled her hair. “Be back soon as I can,” he said to Becca. “Rest. Eat. Use anything you want.”

  Becca felt close to tears again. She didn’t want him to go. It suddenly felt as if she couldn’t possibly cope on her own, but she knew that was just weariness and shock. She’d been on her own for nearly two years and much of the time before that. She looked up at him.

  “Take care of what you need to,” she said, “and don’t worry about us.”

  He smiled and walked out into the foyer, his heavy boots clumping over the floor. Abby kissed her cheek and followed.

  Becca sighed and bowed her head, leaning forward until her forehead touched her knees. You’ll take care of us, she thought to God. I know that. But still I worry. Help me not to, and keep me from doing anything foolish.

  When she sat up again, Jemmy was standing at her elbow expectantly. Becca looked to CJ, who was sleeping soundly in the corner of the couch. She didn’t have anywhere safer for him at the moment. She’d just have to trust that he wouldn’t wake in the next few minutes.

  She’d just have to trust, period, she mused, and went to raid Dan’s kitchen.

  Chapter Nine

  John Odem wanted them to bring back as much bagged ice as they could carry. His stores were severely depleted due to the power shortage as people, like him, tried to save the contents of their refrigerators and freezers. As she aimed her ten-year-old sedan northward, Abby worried aloud about what was to become of Becca and the children, the cost of repairing their house and saving their merchandise and the plight of others hit hard by the storm. Dan didn’t mind. He only caught a word or two here and there, and his thoughts were preoccupied with a swirl of plans of his own. By the time they completed the forty-some-mile trip he’d decided on a definite course of action.

  He had Abby take him by the insurance office first, where he filed a report on the truck and pretended not to notice Abby telling the agent how he’d “saved” Becca and the kids. He was promised a visit by an adjuster within twenty-four hours and a check soon after. After leaving the insurance office, he and Abby drove straight to the bank, where he withdrew a sizable amount of cash. The next stop was the automobile dealership.

  It didn’t take long to explain what he needed and why, choose a red, midsized, double-cab, short-bed pickup truck, tell the man what he intended to pay for it—cash on delivery—order the warning system, leave a significant down payment and insist that it be ready within three days. When the sales manager pointed out that he’d have to send a man to Oklahoma City to find the necessary equipment, Dan forked over another hundred bucks as an incentive and walked out while the man was still talking. He hadn’t thrown his weight around in quite a while, but he hadn’t forgotten how to do it, and in some ways being deaf actually made it easier. The whole transaction took less than ninety minutes, and he had little doubt that the truck would be ready when he returned for it, and if not, he’d know why. He didn’t have time to be patient or politic.

  The final stop was the local discount department store. With Abby’s help he picked out whole new wardrobes for Becca and the kids, about a week’s worth of apparel, including dress clothes for Sunday. He bought nightgowns, shoes and a supply of baby goods, as well as a crib, high chair, car seat, diaper bag and a clever little monitor set with lights that flashed when it picked up sound. In fact, he bought two of those.

  The most personal stuff he left to Abby, who put together a selection of shampoo, conditioner, brushes, combs, clips, deodorants, creams, underclothes and such. While she was doing that, he wandered the toy section, entertaining himself with the amazing array of gadgets designed to teach and enthrall a kid. He had no idea that toys had changed so much, but the old favorites were still around, too, and he made sure to buy a combination of both new and familiar items, as well as half a dozen books.

  His two final purchases were an inexpensive but feminine wristwatch and a Bible, a modern, fully annotated study version with a supple leather cover dyed rose-pink. He’d have liked to have her name embossed on the front, but they didn’t do that there, so he settled for a flowered bookmark with “Rebecca” printed on it in flowing script.

  Abby fussed about the amount of money he was spending, but he pretty much ignored her. When he added 150 pounds of bagged ice to the total, she flat threw a fit, and he wound up letting her cover that part herself, then doled out cash for the rest with a sense of real satisfaction. Abby shook her head and informed him that his generosity was apt to get a different reception than he imagined.

  “Our Becca’s a real independent little mite, you know. Comes from being the third of seven children growing up poor on an Iowa farm.”

  He hadn’t known that about her, and it occurred to him that he hadn’t really bothered to find out. What Abby said about her objecting to him outfitting her and the kids was no doubt true, but he was willing to risk her disapproval in this case. It simply had to be done, and so far as he could see, he was the only one around who had the money to do it. She could kick up all the fuss she wanted, but in the end she’d accept his charity, for lack of a better word, because she really had no other immediate choice. Besides, he’d had more fun shopping for her and those kids than he’d had at anything in a very long time. She’d just have to swallow some of that pride. It wouldn’t kill her. That much he knew from personal experience.

  By the time the old car was loaded down with everything they’d purchased, it was riding pretty low, and Abby had a time holding the thing on the road, but Dan was too tired to care. He kicked back and snoozed the whole trip home, coming awake again only when they pulled to a stop in front of Kinder’s Grocery. The lights inside the store meant, thankfully, that the electricity was on, and John Odem was as busy as “a June bug in August,” as he put it, which according to Abby meant two months behind and fading fast. Dan helped Abby move the ice with the assistance of a wheelbarrow, then he climbed back into the car and let her drive him to his house, where they began the process of off-loading the remainder of their purchases.

  The box containing the unassembled baby bed was tied to the roof of the car with nylon twine, the knots of which had tightened to the point where they would have to be cut. Dan carried in as many bright blue shopping bags as he could manage, left the lot in the foyer and went to grab a utility knife from the small box of tools that he kept in a cabinet over the washer and dryer just off the kitchen. When he returned to the foyer, Becca was there, her hands on her hips, outrage clouding her drawn face. She was wearing one of his T-shirts, which was many sizes too large for her, and a pair of his drawstring gym shorts.

  As he brushed past her and hurried back outside to finish the unloading, he noticed that she was barefoot and smelled of soap and water. Obviously she had bathed. He met Abby on her way in with a clutch of bags and told her that he’d take
care of the rest. Wisely choosing to leave the remainder of the sacks on the front porch, he went back to cut free the boxed crib. Becca met him on the front steps, primed for bear.

  “What do you mean, Dan Holden, by taking this on yourself? You might have asked me what I—”

  He put his head down and moved right past her, hauling the cumbersome box with him and trying not to notice how fetching she looked in his clothes. As he shoved his way through the small mountain of discount-store shopping bags on the floor of his foyer, he mused that not being able to hear did have some benefits, after all. No doubt she was giving vent to some choice words right now, but he didn’t have to acknowledge them as he manhandled the boxed baby bed upstairs and into the front room on the right.

  This room had belonged to his uncle, his father’s older brother. Ted was a pipe fitter who’d spent the majority of his career working in the Middle East, socking back money for a retirement he was clearly unwilling to consider, despite being well past the age when most men hung up their welder’s masks. Never having married, he seemed intent on leaving Dan and his sister a minor fortune. Dan didn’t figure he’d mind having a needy little boy take up residence in his old childhood room.

  Besides, it was time the room was cleared of its decades-old memorabilia and decoration. He’d hunt up some boxes tomorrow and clean out this room and the one next to it, which he intended for Jemmy. Every little girl should have her own room, he mused, or at least not have to share with her brother. In the meantime, he could make space for the crib by simply shoving aside some of the furniture. Becca could decide later what would stay and what would go. After opening the box and extracting the instructions, he figured out what tools he would need, then gathered up his patience and went back downstairs.

  Becca was sitting in the living-room chair, her head in her hands. CJ was playing quietly on the floor, dressed simply in a diaper. Dan asked cautiously, “Where’s Jem?”

  Becca lifted her head to glare at him. “Out back playing.”