Aunt Dimity's Death

by Nancy Atherton

  “That’s why …” The wind had ceased, and not a leaf was stirring. It was as though the old tree were holding its breath, waiting for me to go on. “She asked me to come home, Bill. She pleaded with me to come home. But I was too proud, too stubborn, too set on proving … I don’t know what. And that’s why … that’s why I wasn’t there when …”

  Bill put his arms around me and pulled me to his side. He held me quietly, caressing my hair, then murmured softly, so softly that I could scarcely hear his words, “Did your mother ask you to come home for her sake or for yours?” I stiffened, but he tightened his hold, waiting for the tension to ease from my body before going on. “You shouldn’t have stopped reading those letters when you did. You might have learned a thing or two.” His fingers feathered lightly down my cheek. “You inherited more than your mother’s mouth, you know. You have her chin, too, and it’s a very determined one. That’s how your mother described it, at any rate. I don’t recall her ever using the word ‘pigheaded.’ ‘As strong-willed as I am,’ were the words she used.”

  I shook my head in protest, but Bill continued on, regardless.

  “Do you think your mother joined the army because it was a good career move? Do you think she sat down and weighed the pros and cons? She didn’t, Lori. She saw the war as a grand, romantic adventure, and she saw the same romantic streak in you. Why else would you study something as impractical as old books? She didn’t think you were foolish, though. She would’ve supported anything you did, as long as you were following your heart. You know that, don’t you?

  “As for your marriage—she understood that, too. She had doubts about it from the beginning, and she was proud of you for discovering your mistake. Yes, she wanted you to come home then, but it was because you seemed lost. She thought you needed her help. She never wanted yours.”

  “Because she knew I was useless,” I said bitterly.

  Bill’s fingers dug into my arm. “Stop it. You know that’s not true.”

  “But—”

  “Your mother, Lori Shepherd, was just as pigheaded as you are. She never asked anyone for help. That’s why she clammed up after your father’s death. It took Dimity a long time to knock some sense into her.”

  “And did she?” I sat up, my heart racing. “Did she talk about it?”

  “Yes, after Dimity did everything but send a brass band through the mail.” Bill pushed a stray curl from my forehead. “Yes, your mother finally came out with it, all of it, all of the pain and the loneliness she’d gone through, along with the joy she’d found in you. She told Dimity all about it, eventually. But she would have saved herself a lot of heartache if she’d spoken of it sooner.”

  “I wish she’d told me about it,” I whispered.

  “She should have. She should have explained what a nightmare it is to lose someone you love. She should have told you that it took her a long time and a lot of work to wake up from it.”

  “Maybe she was trying to protect me,” I said loyally.

  “I’m sure she was. But she ended up hurting you. Dimity warned her about it—I’ll show you the letter when we get back. She said you’d grow up thinking that your mother was the Woman of Steel, that you’d want to be just like her. Dimity said there’d be trouble when you found out you weren’t as tough as you thought you should be.”

  “When my mother died …”

  “You found out that you weren’t made of steel. You had no way of knowing that no one is made of steel. How could you? You had no one to tell you otherwise.”

  “You had Dimity.”

  “And your mother had Dimity.” Bill raised his eyes to the distant hills. “But who did Dimity have?”

  I followed his gaze. Bill’s words had fallen like balm on my wounded spirit, but the thought of Dimity’s unnamed sorrow reawakened the sense of anguished longing I had felt upon seeing the heart. The clearing itself seemed to change when he spoke her name, as though something were missing, or out of place. The sunlight had become harsh and a cool breeze chilled me. The ground felt rough against my legs and when I searched the sky for the soaring hawks, I could not find them.

  Bill reached for the bag and stood up, then stretched out a hand to pull me to my feet. “It’s time to go back to the cottage.”

  *

  **

  I spent the rest of that day in the study, catching up on the correspondence.

  Bill spent it in the Jacuzzi.

  I would have made a fortune if I’d had the foresight to sell tickets to Tea with the Pym Sisters. It was better than anything playing in the West End.

  It helped a lot to have Mother Nature as set designer. It was another sunny day and when Emma showed up it seemed only natural to suggest tea in the solarium. With the aid of Dimity’s cookbook and my ever-growing self-confidence in the kitchen, I baked an array of seedcakes and meringues and strawberry tarts. While Bill set out Dimity’s best china and linen, Emma decked every nook with freshly picked flowers, even seeing to it that Reginald’s ears were adorned with a diminutive daisy chain. By the time she announced the arrival of my guests, the solarium looked like something out of an Edwardian novel.

  As did the Pym sisters. They were identical, from the veils on their hats to the tips of their lavender gloves. They looked so tiny and frail that I wondered how on earth they had managed the walk from Finch to the cottage, until I noticed a car parked behind the one we had leased. Like them, it was both ancient and pristine.

  As remarkable as the Pym sisters were, I was pleased to note that Bill found me even more distracting. His jaw dropped when I descended the staircase, dressed in my teatime finery, and Emma had to introduce him to the Pyms twice before he remembered to say “How do you do.” Even then, he said it without taking his eyes from me. I, of course, gave my undivided attention to my guests.

  “Thank you so much for your kind invitation,” the one on the right said.

  “Yes, indeed. Such a lovely day for a drive,” the other added. Even the voices were identical—not just the tone, but the rhythm as well.

  Emma had cautioned me not to tackle the subject of Dimity head-on. The sisters’ sense of propriety would not permit them to gossip. They were, on the other hand, perfectly willing to reminisce for hours if given half a chance, so I invited them to take a look around the cottage. I hoped that a tour would spark memories of their longtime neighbor.

  “How kind.”

  “How lovely. Emma tells us …”

  “… it has changed quite a bit …”

  “… since our last visit.”

  It was like watching a tennis match. As I led the way through the ground-floor rooms, the Pyms kept up a steady flow of point-counterpoint commentary in my wake. After a while, I was able to distinguish one voice from the other: Louise’s was softer, and she seemed more timid. The minute they closed their mouths, however, I couldn’t tell one from the other.

  After we had seated ourselves around the wrought-iron table in the solarium, Emma excused herself to make tea. The Pyms chatted on about the weather and the garden and the vicar’s new roof, and just as I’d begun to think my memory-sparking tour had fizzled, both sets of eyes came to rest on the heart-shaped locket which still hung on its chain around my neck.

  “Oh, my …” said Ruth softly.

  “How very curious. Might we ask …”

  “… how you came by this piece of jewelry?”

  “I found it upstairs,” I replied. I held the locket at the length of its chain for the sisters to examine more closely. “It was in a little blue box. I think it belonged to Dimity.”

  “Indeed it did,” said Louise. “She acquired it in London, during the war, and she wore it …”

  “… always. We never saw her without it. We had been given the impression, in fact …”

  “… that a young man had given it to her.”

  My heart leapt and Bill leaned forward eagerly, but the Pyms seemed unaware of the impact of their words.

  “Dimity was always a
very kind …”

  “… very generous …”

  “… very good-hearted girl. And a great …”

  “… judge of character.”

  “Yes, indeed. She was quite a …”

  “… matchmaker and not one of her matches …”

  “… ever failed.”

  “Yes,” I said. “I know about that. She introduced my mother to my father, didn’t she, Bill?”

  “What?” He looked up from what appeared to be a minute inspection of his teaspoon. “Oh, yes.” He cleared his throat. “She did.”

  “And were they happy together?” asked Ruth.

  “Extremely happy,” I said.

  “Well, there you are,” said Ruth, and beamed with pleasure. “Dimity grew up in this cottage, you know.”

  “And she never left …”

  “… until the war.”

  “A most tragic affair. Here, dear, let me help you with that.” When Louise turned her attention to helping Emma pour, Ruth took up the narrative thread on her own—more or less.

  “She was engaged to a young officer very early in the war.” I held my breath. “Young Bobby MacLaren.” I looked at Bill with exaltation and he gave me a covert thumbs-up.

  “Did you ever meet Bobby?” he asked.

  “Indeed, we did.” Ruth accepted her cup of tea with a distracted air, her face reflecting a long-forgotten sadness. “Such a fine boy, and so courageous. We lost so many… .” Her voice trailed off.

  I took my cup of tea from Emma and placed it on the table, wondering how many young boys Ruth’s old eyes had seen march off, first to one war and then to another. She sat motionless, and I could almost see their faces as she saw them, the faces of boys who would never grow old, who would always be young and fine and courageous. A memory flickered at the back of my mind, but a jay’s angry chatter from the back garden extinguished it.

  Ruth drew herself up and went on. “Dimity brought him to visit us once when they came to Finch on leave. He was such a lively boy, so energetic, and he had such lovely manners.” She sipped her tea. “When he died, Dimity was …”

  “Devastated.” Louise had finished helping Emma.

  “Quite devastated. She would have worked herself to death in London. But her commanding officer saw what was happening and ordered her to rest up for a month. She returned here, to the cottage, looking like a …”

  “Ghost.”

  “A pale ghost, a shadow of herself. Louise and I thought it would be best if we came over regularly, to sit with her and look after the garden. We didn’t like to leave her alone, you see …

  “… not after the first time.”

  “The first time we stopped by …” Ruth paused and her eyes widened. “My, but these seedcakes are lovely,” she said. “Did you make them yourself? Might I ask for the recipe?”

  “Y-yes, of course,” I stammered, startled by the abrupt change of subject.

  “I’ll copy it out for you,” Emma offered, and went into the kitchen to pull out the dog-eared cookbook. I sent a silent blessing after her.

  “Oh, that is most kind of you. It is so difficult these days to find real seedcake.” For a second it looked as though Ruth might stop there, but after a sip of tea, she continued. “The first time we stopped by, we found Dimity curled up on the couch, as cold as ice, staring and staring at that lovely photograph. It didn’t seem healthy to leave it with her. We don’t think she noticed …”

  “… when we took it. And she didn’t seem to miss it. We brought it home with us and kept it safe. We thought that one day …”

  “… it might be precious to her.” Ruth looked up as Emma returned, recipe in hand. “Thank you so very much, dear. Tell me, are you still having trouble with your Alchemilla mollis?”

  Emma was halfway through her reply before I realized they were talking about a plant. I’m not sure if Bill actually saw me gripping the edge of my seat, but he seemed to sense my agitation because he decided to lead the witness for her own good. He waited for a pause, then leaned slightly toward Ruth. “Can you tell us about Bobby?” he asked.

  “So full of life,” mused Ruth in reply. “He wasn’t a local boy, you know, but he loved it here at the cottage all the same. He said that he could imagine no place more beautiful than Pouter’s Hill, and he could think of nothing more wonderful than to return there after the war. He and Dimity spent hours up there, the way young lovers do. A valiant young man, and so proud of his wings.”

  “So very proud,” Louise echoed. “I believe the bluebells are out on Pouter’s Hill.” Ruth and Louise turned their bright eyes upward. “What a lovely sight.”

  *

  **

  The fact that I survived the afternoon is amazing, but it’s nothing compared to the fact that the Pym sisters emerged unscathed. After the initial burst of information, their progress was sporadic at best. They’d move toward adding another tidbit about Bobby and then meander onto some wholly unrelated topic, usually having to do with food or flowers, and every time they did, I was torn between having an apoplectic seizure or committing Pymocide. Now I knew why my mother had described them as not very coherent. But Bill and Emma kept their cool and guided the conversation with admirable dexterity. By the time the Pyms took their leave—in stereo— we had learned quite a lot about the sequence of events following Bobby MacLaren’s death.

  When Dimity was strong enough she’d returned to active duty, but she remained dazed, heartbroken, and inconsolable. The next time Dimity came down, a year later, it was as though a cloud had lifted from her soul. The reason became clear when she introduced them to her new friend: my mother. Seeing at once how close the two women were, the Pyms entrusted my mother with the photograph, knowing that she would give it to Dimity when the right time came.

  They were worried that they might not live long enough to do it themselves. No matter how lighthearted Dimity seemed, the Pyms saw a darkness in her eyes that showed she was grieving still. Unlike the other villagers, they were not surprised by the fact that Dimity seldom came back to the cottage after coming into her fortune.

  Shortly after we had pieced the story together, Emma left for home, carrying my heartfelt thanks and a selection of goodies for her family. Bill and I loaded the dishwasher, then sat in the solarium, watching the dusk settle. Reginald sat in the center of the table, his daisy chain lopsided and wilting.

  “Your mother was a remarkable woman,” Bill commented. “It sounds as though she turned Dimity’s life around completely.”

  “Not completely,” I said, “but enough to get her back on her feet again and moving forward. My mother was a great believer in moving forward, in looking on the bright side of things.” I plucked a red rose from a vase and leaned it between Reginald’s paws. “I suppose …”

  “What do you suppose?” Bill asked.

  “Give me a minute, will you? This isn’t easy for me to say.” I got up and opened the door. The sound of crickets wafted in on a soft breeze. “I’ve done some thinking about what you said up on the hill—some thinking and some reading, too.”

  “You went back to the correspondence?”

  “Yes, while you were soaking your … sore muscles in the Jacuzzi. Well, after all those things you said, I had to. I was up pretty late last night, reading through letter after letter, and I noticed something. My mother never says anything that isn’t cheerful. Even when she’s talking about things that must have bothered her tremendously—like taking ten years to have a baby, for instance—even when she’s talking about that, she’s cracking jokes, as though it didn’t really bother her. And that’s how I remember her—happy all the time.” I turned and held a hand up. “Don’t get me wrong. That’s not a bad way to be. I mean, look at what it did for Dimity.” My hand dropped and I looked back out into the garden. “But I’m not sure it was all that good for me. It’s not … human. As you said, she didn’t teach me how to be unhappy.” I shook my head. “And that’s hard for me to handle. I didn’t think she had any
weaknesses.”

  “Do you mind finding out that she did?”

  I sat down again, leaning toward Bill with my elbows on the table. “That’s the strangest part, Bill. I don’t mind at all. It’s a relief, in fact. It’s not easy being the daughter of a saint.”

  Bill smiled ruefully and nodded. “Being the son of one is no fun, either. That’s why I constantly remind myself of each and every one of Father’s faults. It’s a depressingly short list, but it helps. Did you know, for example, that he has a secret passion for root beer?”

  “Is that a fault?”

  “For a man raised on Montrachet? One might even call it a serious character defect. He’d be drummed out of his club if word got around. Please don’t let on that I told you.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.” We shared a smile, then I lowered my eyes to the wrought-iron tabletop. “You know, Bill, I might not have gone back to the correspondence if it hadn’t been for you. Thanks for giving me a shove.”

  “You’re welcome.” The sound of the crickets rose and fell as the dusk turned into darkness. Bill took the rose from Reginald’s paws. “Excuse me, old man, but you don’t mind if I …” He handed the rose to me. “I didn’t get the chance to tell you how beautiful you look. The color suits you.”

  I couldn’t be sure if he was referring to the cornflower blue of my new dress or the blush that had risen to my cheeks, so I changed the subject. “Ruth and Louise were very helpful, weren’t they?”

  “Yes, indeed.” Bill sat back in his chair. “RM. Robert MacLaren.”

  “More commonly known as Bobby—an airman who was killed in action late in the year 1940, just before my mother met Dimity. A call to the War Office would confirm all of that, I suppose.”

  “But they wouldn’t be able to tell us about this.” My heart did a flutter step as he reached over to touch the locket. “The War Office doesn’t keep track of that sort of thing. Whatever is tormenting Dimity, it’s not just grief over losing Bobby. Something must have happened between them, something terrible.” Bill stood up. “What we need is someone who knew Bobby and Dimity.” He strode off down the hallway.