I put him inside me.
"Wait, wait," he said. I lifted my head back, holding his wide hard-on in one hand. He took off his shirt, put it under my knees. I smiled, then I pushed him back into his chair, and I moved my lips around his cock. I bobbed and sucked, slowly, lavishing my tongue all over him, wetting him with my saliva.
With my left hand I grabbed his balls, moved them around gently. He growled.
I lifted my head away, pumped him with my fist, rubbed his pre-come all over him. I turned my head, moved down below him, tickled his right ball with the tip of my tongue, then eased even lower and pressed against his taint with the tip of it, and again. "Ooh, yes, Layla," he said. I licked his left ball, flicked it back and forth, turned my head, did the same on the other one, all the while moving and caressing his shaft up and down. I put his left ball in my mouth and he flinched. Gently I sucked it, not too hard, feeling it roll against my tongue and cheek.
I was moist as hell, hyperventilating, nipples rock-hard and stomach clenched. I took my left hand and caressed my clit, stuck a finger inside myself, at the same time putting him back inside my mouth.
And that's how we stayed, me sucking him, licking him, rubbing myself and pumping him with my other hand.
When he came, I kept my mouth there, loving the small squirt of him inside me. I swallowed it all and licked him clean. Almost immediately after, his hardish cock still inside my mouth, I also came. I rubbed and twirled and scraped against my folds and clit until my whimpers came out as muffled sounds, into his cock, and Nathan said, "Oh, baby, that makes me so fucking hot for you! Come for me!"
His words made me suck him harder, even though he'd noticeably softened, and I kept on licking and kissing until my own spasms came to an end.
When I was done, I took my own come, my own moisture, and rubbed it on his semi-hard shaft, rubbing him up and down, and smiling. I smiled because I felt a oneness between us, a closeness that kept getting nearer and nearer as we learned about each other through touch.
"I'll accept your change to rule four," I said, still looking at and rubbing his manhood, examining every part of it. A long moment passed, and I wondered if he'd heard me.
Until he grabbed me.
Before I knew it, again with his hands under my armpits, he'd lifted me like a kitten and I was on the lawn table. Nathan's fierce eyes bored into me. "Baby, that's the hottest fucking thing you've said to me since I've known you."
He kept his eyes locked on mine while he parted my legs as wide as they could go. My breath caught. He pushed me back so that I had to hold myself up as my pussy stared at his cock.
He grabbed his shaft and started pumping it insanely, trying to get himself hard again, so violently fast that a massive vein appeared on his bicep as he did it. All the while he glared at me, always at my eyes, never looking away. Their intensity seared my skin. My heart-rate went to the moon and my breathing went shallow as hell. I was wet as a mofo again.
And then he was hard enough, and he moved inside me.
My eyes popped open and he started pumping me, fast and wild, his eyes never leaving my own.
I hyperventilated, trying to keep my gaze connected to his intense stare but the pleasure down below was too strong as he moved in a blur, in and out of me, my groans and whimpers echoing against the empty night. My eyes closed, my ass tensed, my legs wrapped around his firm butt and squeezed him toward me. Even so, he still managed to pull in and out of me at the speed of a locomotive doing five hundred an hour.
I came savagely, my groans deep and earthy. Nathan kept pumping me, just as his hand had pumped himself a few minutes earlier. I kept coming, constantly, pressure easing and forming all at the same time. My vocal cords trembled as I wailed without stopping, Nathan going in and out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out in out.
Every muscle in my body snapped. Blood rushed through me like the Nile as it found its way back to where it had been stolen from by my engorged areas. All my muscles eased and relaxed. A surge of pure pleasure swelled inside me, one or two more twitches of my curled toes indicated the end of my climax.
But my body kept moving like a rag doll from Nathan's strength, slamming into me, growling like an untamed animal, aching for his own release. My pussy had widened already, the tension closing my entrance had gone, making it even harder for him to come. I wanted him to come, I wanted him to explode inside me. His whole body was tense, his teeth clenched, his abs rippling as his cock speared me back and forth. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself against him, rocking my pelvis on him, trying to Kegel the hell out of my vag to help him come!
"Come on, baby," I said. I was exhausted, not horny at all anymore he had satisfied me so much. But I wanted this for him. I wanted him to come brutally just like he'd made me come.
"Fuck me, baby. Fuck me deep! Fuck me, Nathan!" I did my best to tighten up for him, pushing against him, rocking against him, grinding my pussy against his cock.
And then it started, slowly. Nathan started coming. I heard it as a growl, guttural and echoing. "Oh, yeaaaaahhhh," he moaned, never stopping his thrusts, still moaning as he absolutely slammed into me, my neck firing back every time his pelvis slapped my crotch, all the muscles in his neck showing.
I was completely aroused in a way I'd never felt before. I was aroused for him, for his cock, for his own orgasm. "Oh yeah, baby, come on, come in me, come in me!"
I held onto him and his single groan that still hadn't paused, grew louder, his cock thrusting into me and then —
He roared. "Oh, yeah fuck damn!" He slammed his hard-on into me so deep that I had to lift my ass off the table from it. I whimpered. He held himself there, my body practically dangling off it, then eased himself down slowly. And again, impaling deep into me, holding me there. I squeaked again, enjoying every iota of his animal pleasure.
And again, he pushed, deeply, all the way, each time a low moaning groan exiting him. He held himself there.
In total, he pushed up into me, holding for a few seconds each time, for a total of six unbelievable thrusts.
In the end, he threw exhausted arms around my back, and rested his head on my shoulder. He exhaled, and held me. We held each other. Both of us thoroughly spent, exhausted, wiped out, and ferociously satisfied.
His shaft softened inside me, and I pushed my crotch against him a little more, wanting him to stay in me for as long as possible.
It was in that moment, my head on his, that it first crossed my mind that maybe I might love this man...
This time, however, the thought didn't scare me. And it felt more like a logical decision to love, rather than falling in love. Maybe it had been simply the decision that I could love him.
Because it was true that I could. As his large hands rubbed my back, and our fatigued breaths steamed against the cooling night air, I realized that I absolutely could love him. And if it wasn't primal and automatic like it had been with Clayton, I could at least learn to love him.
In that moment, I felt all the love I ever needed to for someone else.
The moment was perfect, a frozen instant in time that should have lasted forever.
But these things never do, do they?
-9-
One of the classes Clayton and I had together this year was Concurrency. Concurrency is a subject dealing with when computers perform more than one calculation or run more than one process at the same time, and how these calculations and processes and systems interact with each other. Yeah, the irony of it had struck me many times before. But more today than ever. Because after class, Clayton approached me.
I was grabbing my bag in the hallway when he was suddenly there, just as he'd suddenly appeared to me on the stairs that one day.
We stood chest to chest, glaring at each other. "I need to talk to you," he said, his Neptune eyes swirling all around me, tightening my throat and chest...
I wanted to be an adult about this. I felt I was making progress. Nathan and I...
had something. Sure, it wasn't fireworks up in the air or an "I'm going so insane" kind of love, but it worked. And I liked it. I was ready to move on from Clayton.
I could do this.
Sure, I tried to say, but my throat caught. I cleared it, coughed once, tried again. "Um, sure. When?"
"Now." His eyebrows got closer, and he didn't take his gaze from my eyes. I must say that his intensity scared me. It was the first time it ever had.
"Um, OK, wanna go for a walk?"
He nodded, then grabbed my elbow and looked around like he was the frickin FBI or something. I played along, staying calm.
We walked past Mandi underneath our oak tree in the quad. Clayton didn't even look at her, he just kept his hand against the small of my back and kept me moving. I looked once over at her and shrugged, then I pointed at Clayton. I mouthed, Call you later.
She smiled and gave me a jubilant thumbs up. I didn't share her enthusiasm.
Soon we were at the boys' dorms. I stopped. "You know I can't get in there in the daytime," I said. No one ever ratted when a guy brought a girl over, but getting in during the day was damn near impossible with all the professors around.
Clayton clenched his teeth. "Damn it. Look, we need an internet connection."
I frowned. "An internet connection? Why?"
"Layla, please, I have to show you something."
I didn't want to take him to my place... I just didn't want to risk confusing my own emotions and doing something stupid with him while I was with Nathan. That just wouldn't be right. So far I'd always been faithful to the few 'boyfriends' I'd ever had, and I wanted to keep that record clean!
Clayton looked around, rubbed a frustrated hand through his straight hair. "Fuck," he said...
"Clay, what is it?" Clay? Damn it, I hadn't called him that in months.
He put his hands on my elbows. "Layla, this is not about me...or us. It's... Look, just take me to your place, OK? I'll be in and out in ten minutes. But I have to show you something. And we need bandwidth, and somewhere private, so a mobile connection won't do."
I acquiesced.
When we got to my place Clayton's eyes bulged at my three computer screens, each the size of two normal ones put together.
"I know, they're like my pets," I said.
My computer booted up in no time (of course) and Clayton went online. He opened up my browser and went straight to a —
Oh my god! "Clayton, what the fuck!? That's disgusting! How can — ?"
He put his hand up. "Just trust me," he said, putting his cursor on the Porn Site's search bar. He typed in BadAssTexan...
A bunch of video boxes appeared, one with a girl face down on a table and looking at the camera, a guy behind her, her eyes clenched; another with a ripped and muscled guy on a couch doing a girl doggy style, his face not visible. Clayton clicked the first video.
I was totally pissed by now. If there's one thing I despise, it's porn. What I hate most about it is how probably ninety percent of the 'amateur' videos on there were done without the consent of the girl —
Oh, my god...
It hit me.
My skin went cold.
A lump the size of a fist tightened in my throat.
I turned to the screen, heard the woman screaming in slamming ecstasy, the slap of skin on skin as some guy rammed into her from behind (not very romantic, but, hey, it's fucking porn...)
Clayton scrubbed the video forward...
And there was what I'd suspected for the last five seconds.
My legs went weak, the blood drained from my shoulders, my stomach clenched. I fell onto my bed, my eyes glued onto Nathan's face, the video now paused and my room completely silent...
Clayton turned to me. "Now," he said, "we can discuss how I came across this or just accept that I'm a guy with certain weaknesses. But I don't think that's the point of me showing this to you."
A million things went through my mind. The girl Nathan was doing was probably one of his thousands of exes. And? So what? Maybe she'd wanted to put up a porn video. Maybe they'd decided to do it together. Damn, the number of college porn videos that are online is a testament to people's moments of idiocy which are protracted into eternity by the 'miracle' which is the internet...
Clayton got up. I was too shocked, too sapped of energy to say anything. "I just thought you should know," he said.
Then he walked out.
When the door clicked shut, the ensuing silence was louder than anything I've ever heard. It railed at me like howling hyenas with their balls in a vise and high on LSD. I kept staring at Nathan's beautiful, contorted face, clearly just before he was about to come...
I thought of when we fucked wildly outside on his lawn table, seeing that same face.
It was different seeing that reaction with another girl. I know, it was an illogical reaction, but I still felt jealous.
Either way, that wasn't what I was most pissed about or afraid of.
I knew what I had to do. I had to search his fucking videos on this site to see if I was on there! But I couldn't. I couldn't face it.
So I called Mandi.
-10-
"This is disgusting," she kept saying as she looked at the videos on the site Clayton had found.
She had on a headset but I was still covering my own ears with a pillow on the bed. "I don't wanna know if it's disgusting, I want to know if I'm on there!"
"Ooh, some girl on girl."
"Mandi!"
"Sorry."
Finally, an eternity of tormented anguish later, she said, "Doesn't look like it. At least not on this site. I mean, it's so hard to tell with internet porn though. If he does put something online you could probably sue him, or get him arrested I guess. Surely there are laws against that. I mean, if it's done without consent. Aren't there?"
"Do you think I give a shit about that!? I just don't want my face on one of these damn websites!"
Mandi nodded. "I know. Well, you have to ask him. I mean, you have to ask him if he filmed you, and if he uploaded it somewhere."
-11-
The conversation that evening with Nathan wasn't pleasant, but it was simple. I opened his door and stormed into his lounge. He had the fire going, a new black box on the table, and a smile on his face.
"Did you film me?" I asked, not wasting even a breath on a hello.
His smile died. The fire went cold. He coughed.
Then he came clean.
It turns out he had, the first night we'd gotten together, while he'd done me by the kitchen counter, with my hands cuffed behind my back, and I'd blown him, and he'd fingered me, and muffed me, and I'd stared full-frontal at that mirror...
The one above the mantelpiece.
Behind which was his permanent camera...
Oh, god.
The English language needed a new word because Disrespect came nowhere near to what I felt now. I found the word: I'd been Nathanized.
My world spun. I wanted to cry and I also didn't want to... I kept my cool.
"Where is it?" I said.
He hesitated.
"Where the fuck is the tape? Tell me or I call the cops, now!"
He got up, went to his room, brought out a digital tape.
"Is this all of it? Or did you film me another time?"
He shook his head. "Layla, it was on our first night together. I haven't done it since. I haven't even watched it. I — "
"Fuck you!"
He shut up.
"Have you uploaded this anywhere? Don't fucking lie to me!" I pointed my finger an eighth of an inch from his eyes. Nathan was so huge, he'd squash me with one hand. But I didn't give a hoot about that! He was gonna respect me no matter what. It's funny how a guy listens to you when you put your foot down. At least a guy with half a sense of decency does that. I had to give Nathan that much.
He shook his head. "That's the only copy. I swear it."
I didn't believe him. I ran into his bedroom and looked for his laptop. "Now
, you can give me your password or I'll hack this motherfucker myself," I said, laptop under my arm, ready to take it to my room and start brute-force attacking the hell out of his login screen!
He gave me the password. "I swear, Layla, that's the only copy."
When I opened up his laptop it didn't take me long to find his Exes folder. I almost puked. I deleted the dozens of videos on there, not even bothering to see if mine was one of them.
But I also saw something else. A folder called Layla...
My insides went cold. I turned to face Nathan because I suddenly didn't trust him so much any more. I opened the folder...and there were my college files. A photo, what I was majoring in, where I was from...
The timestamp on the files was the night before I'd met him.
"You knew who I was when you saw me at that party, didn't you?"
Blood pooled at my feet. I actually had to consciously keep myself from falling over.
"Y — yes. Lay — Look, it's not what you think..."
I fired off to his big body, stuck my hand down his pocket and pulled out his phone. I checked it, then checked his iPad, everything digital I could get my hands on, his DVDs, everything!
When I was done I just stood and looked at him. He knew it was his cue.
"Layla, I was working on the college servers. I had student files as part of my work. I signed a confidentiality agreement and kept them securely on my laptop while we transferred some data over. You can ask the dean! It was all part of my job."
He waited.
"And!?" I shouted.
"And..." He raked a hand through his wavy hair. "And once my work was done, I had to delete all the files. But I did keep yours. We were seeing each other already.
"Look, Layla, I never stalked you! But I did know who you were at that party! I would've talked to you anyway, even if I hadn't seen that stuff!"
Rule Number Two: No questions. Of course not! The fucker probably knew everything about me already!
I didn't know what to believe. But I knew one thing. Nathan had disrespected me, in the worst possible way. I hadn't been the equal I'd always thought I was.
It was all just too creepy. Finally, I asked him the one question I'd been avoiding, the make-or-break of everything that had been him and me: "About the video, when you made it, did you ever plan on putting it on the internet? Ever? I mean, did it even cross your mind even once?"
Girl-Nerds Like it Deeper (Erotic Romance) Book 3 (Girl-Nerd Series) Page 4
