Animal Instinct

by Noelle N

He looked down at me, and the hardness in his eyes seemed to fade when he noticed the smile on my face. Hesitantly, he held out a hand, his fingers retracting a little as though he was entirely unsure about the mere action itself. But I simply reached for his hand, intertwining my fingers through his and following when he gently tugged me forward.

  The burial site was plain and chillingly clinical. All I saw were rows of graves, but the headstones were smaller than the usual. Some had names and dates on them, while others were completely blank. It was like a wasteland of dead bodies. And it was frightening, because all I could think of was that somewhere, someone was thinking about a person they lost, someone was missing the person they lost, but they'd never know how well and truly gone that person was.

  Jed led me to a stop before a row of graves, with three headstones marked with the present date. I felt my chest twist painfully at the sight and took a step closer, gently disentangling my fingers from Jed's so that I could set the flowers down on the graves. The soil sifted beneath my fingertips and I felt an involuntary chill race down my spine when I thought of how the dead bodies lay mere inches below, dead bodies that had been more than alive and fighting less than twenty-four hours ago.

  "I'm so sorry," I whispered, letting out a heavy breath that was carried by the wind. But what else was there to say? Nothing. There wasn't anything else you could say when you stabbed a person out of self-defence, or when you killed a person to protect the one you loved. I was very, very sorry. But given the same circumstances, I'd do the same things again. So would Jed.

  It was instinct – you couldn't fight it.

  Straightening, I fell a step back so that I was beside Jed again, my fingers instinctively seeking his out and sidling close so that I could feel the warmth radiating from him. He glanced down at me, fingers automatically tightening around mine and I let my lips tilt up in a faint smile.

  "Do you want to go?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as I stared up at him.

  He nodded, and I followed him silently as we made our way down the hill. But instead of heading to where the car was parked at, he took a sharp detour, leading me towards a dusty route that turned an abrupt left. I glanced up at him in surprise, then looked over at where we were headed towards.

  I hadn't seen it earlier, but there was no mistaking it now – beyond the clearing in the distance, there was another cemetery nearby. Only this one seemed like every usual cemetery I'd seen before, with proper headstones and flowers adorning the occasional grave. Jed scanned the surroundings quickly before gently tugging me forward, the gravel and fallen leaves crunching beneath my shoes while he moved silently.

  It wasn't until we got to the third row of graves from the back that he paused, and I felt the fleeting pressure of his hand on mine, a quick clenching of his jaw that I would've missed had I not been looking up at him. I followed the direction of his gaze, feeling my breath quicken when I saw the headstone of the grave he was staring at. The name Fleur Ann Trevino, née Wells was etched across the dusty grey slab. Her death was dated back almost five years ago, and after doing a quick calculation in my head based on her year of birth, I suddenly felt my throat dry as I realised exactly who Jed had brought me to see.

  "Your mom?" I looked up at him, only to see that his eyes remained fixed firmly on the grave, his jaw clenched in such a way that the expression on his face seemed almost painful. His posture was rigid and everything about him seemed high-strung, except for his grip on my hand which was still gentle.

  When he didn't answer, I kept my fingers firmly slotted between his and I took a small step forward. Unlike the other graves surrounding us, this headstone wasn't covered with dust or dirtied from neglect. Maybe Jed visited his mother often, and just the mere thought of that was enough to make my chest clench.

  Taking a deep breath, I cast another quick glance at Jed before focusing on Fleur's grave again. "Hi, I'm Quinn," I said quietly, so quietly that my voice was barely audible to my ears, but I knew that Jed with his heightened senses could hear it anyway. "I know we've never met before but I only wish we had. And I don't know you but I do know that you're an amazing woman because, well – only an amazing woman like yourself could raise someone as great as Jed."

  Jed froze beside me and I knew without having to look at him that my words had surprised him. But I simply brushed my thumb softly across the back of his hand and continued.

  "I guess what I really want to say is…thank you, for Jed. Because without you, there wouldn't be him, and without him – I can't imagine what it'd be like without him. My mom died in a car accident when I was five – " Jed's grip tightened on mine, yet another revelation that seemed to have surprised him, and the pressure was a welcome comfort even though he said nothing. I swallowed and blinked, staring at the grave in front of us. " – and my grandmother died years later so…I was lost for a long time and I was alone for a long time. But then I met your son and – I wasn't, anymore."

  My words trailed off into the silence and, for a moment, I heard nothing but the sound of my own steady breaths. Jed was completely quiet beside me, but then he shifted, keeping his hand in my grip and reaching out for me with the other. I turned slightly so that I was facing him, but felt my breath stutter when I saw the expression on his face.

  It was the most unguarded I'd seen him since the moment we first met. Green eyes dark but soft and his hair falling into his eyes when he lowered his head, and he slowly reached for my face, his fingers skimming my chin before sliding across my jaw. I hadn't even realised that looking at his mother's grave had made me cry until he brushed the pad of his thumb across my cheek, an action that was both gentle and ignited a trial of heat on my skin all at once.

  He stepped closer, until there was barely a hairsbreadth between us and I could feel his quiet exhale on my skin. Everything inside me was skittish and wired with anticipation, but everything around us was silent and calm; an intoxicating contrast that made me feel like the world had come to a standstill just for the two of us.

  I smiled softly and watched as his eyes immediately flickered down to the curve of my lips, the heat in his eyes darkening and the hue in his green irises fading to the darkest shade of green. "By the way," I added quietly, "I meant every word I said earlier."

  He swallowed, his gaze softening as he nodded.

  My smile widened and I lifted myself fractionally on my toes so that I could meet him halfway. My heart stuttered when he slid his fingers gently across my cheek and tipped my head up so that I was looking directly at him. Then he was closing the distance between us and my eyes were fluttering shut and we were –

  He paused.

  And I opened my eyes in surprise when he reluctantly dropped his hand from my face. If I wasn't feeling so wired and desperately wanting to taste him, I would've laughed at the look of annoyance on his face, his eyes narrowed as he turned to glare at something in the distance. He instinctively stepped in front of me, slightly shielding me with his body, and I couldn't help but wonder what he'd seen, or heard, that I hadn't.

  The answer arrived mere seconds later, the patter of shoes scuffing against dry grass as Adrian and Brutus stepped into the clearing. Adrian spotted us first, and a relieved look crossed his face when he did. "Alpha," he greeted cheerfully, smirking when he noticed the flushed look on my face, as well as the hostile one on Jed's. "Luna."

  Dead-Beta – the words were on the tip of my tongue but I bit them back and raised my eyebrows at them instead. "Is something wrong?" I asked, noticing the grimmer look on Brutus's face.

  "Yes," he returned seriously, and Jed automatically stiffened. "Deimos is under attack and we need to help them before Prometheus infiltrates into Titan as well."

  My eyes widened and I glanced up at Jed, only to see that his expression had slipped into something darker. He was guarded now, the muscles cording his neck tight and strained, and he nodded shortly before darting a glance to me and then back to Adrian again.

  "Spike will take her to the safe-house," Adria
n assured him, "I've informed Callisto to keep watch over Luna, so she'll be safe there."

  Jed nodded again. He started towards them, but suddenly paused and waited for me to come along with him. Noticing the tension in his shoulders, I couldn't help but slip my fingers through his. He startled at my unexpected touch, but then he relaxed and wound his fingers gently around mine and tugged me forward. Brutus's eyes widened at the sight and Adrian's lips stretched up in another wide smirk, but Jed was studiously ignoring them as he led me towards the road.

  Once there, I realised that there were several cars parked alongside the one that Jed had driven in. Most of the people standing around were from Titan, they were familiar faces and they immediately ceased talking when they saw Jed, straightening and murmuring polite greetings to us. There were three or four unfamiliar faces, and they were staring openly at us, simply nodding at Jed by way of greeting.

  Not from Titan, was my immediate thought, as I watched the group converse among themselves, Jed listening in intently while Adrian acted as his voice and murmured quiet directions. I couldn't help but wonder which packs the strangers were from. Deimos, probably.

  But my thoughts were interrupted when Spike sidled up to me, a warm smile on his face as he held open the door of the nearest car. "Luna, I'm ready to go if you are."

  "Yeah, alright." I stepped towards him, only to be stopped when Jed's grip tightened on mine. When I turned around to look at him, the expression on his face was uncertain and I could've sworn I detected a flicker of reluctance in his eyes, like he didn't want me to leave his side at all. I smiled softly and brushed my thumb across his hand. "I'll be okay," I told him, speaking in a low voice that only he could hear. "Come find me when you're done."

  He hesitated for a second or two, before giving a quick nod. Squeezing his hand tightly one last time, I gently eased back and climbed into the car, letting Spike shut the door behind me. The others were still standing around discussing their plans as Spike climbed into the driver's seat, and the image of Jed standing there in the dust as he watched our car disappear down the road was one I was certain I'd never forget for a long time afterwards.

  * * *

  The safe-house turned out to be right in the heart of the city. It was a rather luxurious hotel that made my eyes widen when Spike parked the car nearby, and the two of us looked entirely out of place in casual clothes and sneakers when we stepped inside.

  Nevertheless, he headed to the counter without a second's hesitation, and it seemed like this arrangement was pre-planned because the girl at the counter gave him a key-card without so much as blinking, or checking the computer in front of her.

  "The safest place is where the humans are," Spike said quietly, as we waited in the lobby for the elevator. "Ironic, but true. Most of us don't want to risk humans finding out about our kind, so we try to keep our inhuman attributes as concealed as possible."

  His words made sense. And then there was also the fact that I was finally among my kind, and that made me feel a lot more at ease, for some reason. Sure, it wasn't the same level of safety I felt when I was with Jed, but still, the air seemed more breathable. It wasn't until I stepped into this hotel and saw businessmen and tourists milling about that I realised how much I missed the regular, normal world.

  Spike must've noticed eventually, especially when we stepped into the elevator with a family and I could hardly take my eyes off them, smiling faintly as I heard their mundane chatter. When the family stepped off, leaving the two of us alone in the elevator, he threw a sympathetic smile my way.

  "You miss your old life, huh?"

  "Kind of," I shrugged, easing back against the wall. "I wouldn't trade the one I have with Jed for the world, but – it's everything else. It's different, you know?"

  "Yeah, I do. I was human before," he unexpectedly added, and my eyes widened as he laughed. "Had a nice apartment several miles south of here, fresh out of college and working as an accountant. Boring job, boring life – but boring is a kind of stability, and it's the kind of stability you miss when you're – well, no longer a human."

  Spike and I were alike in more ways than I'd imagined, and I only wished I'd found out sooner. Fascinated, I tilted my head to study him, trying and failing to picture him as city guy with a desk job. "I miss it too," I confessed quietly, at last. "Sometimes, I think about taking Jed with me and just – settling, somewhere, when all this is over. Just the two of us. Then I remember that he has a pack to take care of and responsibilities and…don't get me wrong, I love Titan," I quickly added, my eyes flickering up to meet Spike's in alarm, "it's just – "

  "No, I get it. Pack life was overwhelming when I first joined too. You know that's why there are rogues, right?" He grinned when I began to look confused. "Rogues generally belong to packs until they decide to break away. Call it a search for independence or just – wanting to be alone, but that's what rogues do."

  "You ever thought of becoming rogue?"

  "When I had Lorraine as my mate?" He looked incredulous and shook his head. "Never. When I told her that she could turn me – it was basically me saying yes to the whole deal. To be with her for the rest of our lives. Being in a pack, being on Titan land, having to suffer when Claudius Trevino – " The expression in his eyes hardened momentarily when he said that name. " – was our Alpha; that was all peripheral. Lorraine – she's…"

  "The one," I finished, a smile curving across my lips when he looked over at me. "Us humans don't believe in mates, but some of us definitely believe in the Right One."

  Spike's eyes were twinkling in amusement and faint nostalgia as he chuckled. "Exactly."

  Our conversation abruptly ceased when the doors of the elevator slid open on our floor. Spike led me to the last room in the east wing and handed me the card, waiting patiently as I slotted it into the lock. The tiny light on the door blinked green and I pushed the door open.

  Spike was already setting my bag down on the couch and checking to see if the windows were locked and corridor safe. But I was more than enthralled by the spacious room, the ceiling to floor window and the huge television in front of the deluxe bed.

  "This room is way too expensive for a safehouse," I said at last, worrying my lower lip as I stared at the bathroom, with its pristine floors and luxurious tub.

  "Don't worry about expenses, Luna." Spike eased away my concerns with a laugh. "This hotel's the best around here – several of the employees here are from Callisto, so you're safe. And Alpha would go to any lengths to make sure you're safe."

  Feeling my chest flutter at the thought of that, I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked over at Spike, who was making sure the door could be bolted properly. "They'll be okay, right?"

  "They'll be fine," he assured me swiftly, "it's just a little fight and they've been in far worse. But it wasn't that bad either," he hastily said, when he noticed the alarm on my face. "Just – " He exhaled and shut the door, slowly heading over to settle down on the couch diagonally opposite me. "You know how it is. Humans fight over a difference of opinion; werewolves fight over a breach of territory. But war is war. There's always a winner, always a loser, and it's always ugly."

  "Yeah, I guess so."

  Letting out a quiet sigh, I sat further up the bed with my legs crossed and stared blankly at the duvet for a moment. It had been barely two hours since I'd last seen Jed, and already I was missing him, his absence leaving a tired emptiness within me. I glanced over at the television, then suddenly brightened as an idea came to mind.

  "Hey." I looked at Spike and he glanced up at me, taking his attention momentarily away from his phone. "Do you still watch reruns of shows on TV, or have you gone completely Neanderthal ever since turning into a werewolf?"

  Spike mock-glared at me, even as he pushed his phone aside and reached for the remote on the coffee table eagerly. "If you weren't my Luna – " He trailed off threateningly, his eyes gleaming in good humour.

  I simply laughed, tossing him the extra pillow from the bed a
nd curling up with one of my own as I watched the television screen flicker a dozen shades of light. And in between reruns and mild chatter with Spike, it was easy to forget that beyond the human world lay a world with howls and sinister wolves.

  But even if I momentarily forgot about all that, forgetting Jed was absolutely impossible.

  * * *

  It wasn't until late at night that Jed finally arrived, with Adrian and Lorraine in tow.

  Spike had been snoozing on the couch and I didn't know who was happier to see him – Adrian or Lorraine, because the both of them promptly pounced on him and jolted him awake. He looked momentarily flustered, blond hair sticking up every which way as he sat upright, only to scowl when he saw Lorraine and Adrian hovering over him, bright smiles on their faces.

  "Hello, lover boy," Adrian gushed dramatically, reaching out what seemed like a loving hand for Spike's face, only to be stopped when Lorraine smacked his arm.

  "That's my line."

  Spike rolled his eyes at them. "Piss off," he mumbled, dropping his head back down on the pillow as Lorraine and Adrian continued to argue between themselves.

  But I was more concerned about Jed, and I threw a quick glance his way, only to see that he was staring down at the three of them, looking so unamused that I wanted to laugh. Shifting closer to Jed, I let out a delicate cough to get their attention. Lorraine and Adrian quickly subsided, but it took Spike several seconds to reluctantly open his eyes, only to bolt upright the moment he saw Jed looking down at him.

  "Sorry, Alpha." Spike immediately scrambled up, and Adrian let out a snort of laughter, which earned him an annoyed elbow-nudge from Lorraine. "We'll leave right away."

  "Is it safe?" I couldn't help but ask, taking a few steps towards them when they began to head over to the door. "For the three of you?"

  "Oh, we'll be alright," Lorraine assured me, pulling me into a quick hug when she passed. "There's just some clean-up to do over at Deimos, but then we'll be back. A couple of us will be staying in the rooms below."