Animal Instinct

by Noelle N

  "Are you alright?" I gasped, quickly stepping forward to grasp his hand. "I'm really sorry," I murmured self-deprecatingly, inspecting the inflamed skin worriedly. "Does it hurt? Do you need to go to the – "

  He shook his head, simply holding his hand up patiently for me to see. The regenerative healing thanks to his lycanthropy genes kicked in swiftly, and I watched, fascinated, as the crimson burns on his fingertips rapidly faded away until his skin was the same shade as the rest of his hand. Then, clenching and unclenching his fingers, he finished burning the final slip of paper before gesturing for me to follow him.

  Something in his actions felt almost unsettling. It was the same as all the times he'd been hurt before and just shrugged it off, like they didn't matter. Perhaps they didn't. But he seemed so used to getting hurt that I felt my stomach twist into a tight knot at the thought of that.

  But I kept my thoughts to myself for the time being, following him three streets down until we located his car, parked along a quiet driveway. Jed held the door open for me and I climbed in, while he dumped both our bags in the backseat and got into the driver's seat. I let him drive for a few minutes in silence before I found myself unable to clamp my thoughts down for a second longer.

  His right hand was latched around the gearshift and I couldn't stop myself from reaching down to skim my fingertips across his knuckles. He was completely relaxed under my touch, but I could feel the minor callouses on his skin, rough under my fingers. "You know," I started quietly, when he threw me a questioning glance, "just because you heal quickly doesn't mean that you don't hurt when it happens."

  He tensed; the lines of veins along his arm stretching taut as he tightened his grip on the gearshift.

  I drew in a deep breath. Jed had been honest with me all this while and I knew he wouldn't deny me an answer if I asked, but asking wasn't as easy as it seemed. "Did it?" I said at last. "When – when they were…did it hurt?"

  For a few seconds, he didn't reply. His jaw was clenched, his face impassive as he gazed blankly at the road ahead. Then he blinked, and for a moment, it seemed like his usual, indifferent façade had fallen away. I felt the slightest quiver of his hand under mine and he exhaled, his voice barely a whisper when he finally spoke.

  "All the time."

  I swallowed, feeling a sharp pain in my chest. This wasn't about me but when you felt for someone, when that person became such a big part of your life that you couldn't imagine being without, then everything that came with that person became personal to you as well.

  "It's okay for you to feel hurt," I told him softly, feeling him shift his palm slightly as though searching for me. I gave my hand without a second's doubt, interlacing my fingers with his. "Just as it's okay for me to feel scared, which I am, a lot. We just – we get through this together, you and I, alright?"

  His grip tightened on mine fractionally.

  Just fractionally, and that's when it happened – a thunderous bang as another car rammed straight at us from out of nowhere. It all but deafened me, until I heard a remnant ringing in my ears amidst the sharp silence that followed. I felt a sharp crack on my neck as my head whipped back, a startling pain shooting through and engulfing me so much so that I couldn't place exactly where it had started. For a moment, there was nothing but the smell of smoke and gasoline and death.

  "Quinn! Quinn – "

  Jed, it had to be Jed. Vaguely, I registered him calling out my name amidst the terrifying silence, but then the world around me faded to nothingness.

  20

  TRUST

  All I could register was the smell of smoke and blood.

  But as my vision aligned, Jed's face slowly but surely came into view. He was hovering over me, crimson blood streaking down one side of his face but he didn't seem to care. Instead, I felt the warmth of his palm as he held my face with a shaking hand.

  "Quinn."

  His voice sounded so strangled and terrified that it was almost physically painful to hear. But all too quickly, I became aware of a dull ache at the base of my neck, only cushioned by a steady brace that was his right arm. I dragged in a deep breath, watched his eyes scan my face rapidly as he tried to figure out whether I was conscious.

  "Jed," I breathed, my fingers reaching up to clutch his shoulders. It wasn't until then that I realised I was shaking just as much as he was. "I – I'm – "

  Breaking off in a coughing fit, I tightened my grip on his shoulders and tried to pull myself up. It was clear even to my disoriented mind that I wasn't in a good shape, but hearing me speak seemed to reassure him because relief flickered across his face. Cradling my head gently with one hand, he moved slightly so that his other arm was tightly belted around my waist. He'd removed the seatbelt from my waist, I belatedly realised, and was now determined to get us out of the wreckage.

  The metal pieces of the car weighed down on us and the smell of smoke coming from the back was overwhelming. Biting my lip, I tried to stifle the involuntary whimper of pain when he pushed aside the crushed dashboard that was pressing down on my legs.

  "Quinn." His voice rose sharply in faint panic when I squeezed my eyes shut, my head pounding with sheer pain. Tipping my head up, he brushed the pad of his thumb gently across my cheek until I was opening my eyes, blinking the dust away as I stared up at him. "Stay with me," he insisted, waiting until I had gaze squarely. When I finally focused on him again, he lowered his head, nudging my nose with his as he repeated, "stay with me."

  "Y-yeah, okay."

  I dug my fingers deeper into his skin, knowing that the pain wasn't going to hurt him but it was an involuntary action, especially when he gently pulled me out of the mangled seat. When he dragged us out of the wreckage, he placed me by the roadside. I felt the sting of gravel on my legs, the sun scorching down on us, but that hardly mattered. All I could see was the wreck that the car had been reduced into. The car had been flipped on its side, the driver's seat entirely crushed. Mine wasn't. With vacant horror, I stared at Jed and realised that his arms were covered in blood, dark crimson seeping into his jeans and his leg bent at an awkward angle.

  It wasn't until then that it occurred to me that Jed's arm had kept me in place. Kept my head from whipping back and my neck from snapping. That he'd bore the brunt of the crash, and he'd probably known it, but it hadn't mattered to him because his first thought was to keep me safe.

  Coughing twice, I pushed myself upright and clutched at his arm. "You're hurt really badly," I choked, eyes blurring with tears that were an equal blend of horror and pain. "Do you need me to – call an ambulance, or anything?"

  He shook his head quickly, and the explanation came to my mind just as swiftly. No ambulances; no humans should treat his wounds less they found out what he was. Carefully, he pried my hands off him as he dragged himself to his feet. His eyes were sharp as he looked around. But we were on an empty road – the car that had rammed into us had probably disappeared round the bend, and we were far away from any witnesses or passers-by.

  It didn't take a genius to figure out who had done it, though. And the fact that Malthus Trevino and his allies had tried to kill us in broad daylight made it all the more terrifying.

  After awhile, Jed seemed satisfied that there wasn't a looming threat anywhere near. He returned from the wreckage with his bag intact, ripped in some places but otherwise none the worse for wear. Then he sat down on the pavement, hesitantly stretching out an arm to me. I didn't hesitate to bury myself in his embrace, gingerly at first, because I was worried that I'd aggravate his injuries. But he didn't seem to mind; simply pressing his lips to my forehead and tucking his arm around my shoulder, mindless to his wounds.

  Curling my feet up, I tucked myself against his chest, shivering to keep my fears at bay. To keep from breaking down. I had no doubt that Jed had mind-linked Adrian and the others back on Titan land, and they were probably on their way. Jed reached up and pressed his fingers gently to the base of my neck, adding a fleeting pressure in arbitrary patterns. The sharp
pain that had been shooting through my nerve ends seemed to dim down when he did that, and I took several calming breaths, reaching for his other hand and interlocking my fingers through his.

  It didn't take long for the others to arrive. The first person I saw was Adrian, climbing out of his black car as he parked a short distance away. His face was grim and he strode towards us quickly, eyes widening when he saw the car wreck.

  The others followed. Spike. Katya. Lance. Giles. Brutus. Jade. Vaughn. And several others who I didn't know well enough, but had seen hanging around the diner on more than one occasion. Jed looked surprised to see them all, and I realised that Adrian had probably brought along more reinforcements than expected.

  "Alpha, Luna." Adrian's jaw was clenched when he greeted us. He took one look at me, then at Jed, before swearing under his breath. "We'll burn them all to hell. Those bastards."

  Swearing loudly, he dragged a furious hand through his hair and took several steps towards the wreckage to have a closer look at it. He placed a hand on the dented door of the car, the side that wasn't didn't suffer the impact of the crash, and narrowed his eyes when he saw how badly the driver's seat was smashed.

  "We'll take care of this, Alpha," he assured Jed. "You two should get back and get those injuries looked at. Especially Luna's."

  Jed nodded grimly. He climbed to his feet, gritting his teeth to prevent himself from wincing and refusing the hand that Lance held out to him. Without waiting for him, I tried to do the same, only to feel a sharp, shooting ache through my ankle. I instinctively gripped onto Jed, fingers digging into his arm as I tried and failed to stifle the cry of pain that escaped my lips.

  "Careful!" Katya shot out a hand to grasp me firmly by my elbows. Her naturally impassive nature gave way to a tinge of worry when she looked at me. "Are you alright?"

  "Yeah, I'm good – "

  But my voice caught when Jed slipped an arm around my waist. Before I knew it, he was hoisting me up, looping his other arm steadily under my legs as he carried me. My eyes widened with concern as I remembered how he'd injured his legs earlier in the crash, but he seemed to be moving perfectly fine, albeit with a slight limp as he carried me to Adrian's car.

  "I'm fine, Jed, really, you don't have to carry me," I murmured, even as I instinctively looped my arms around his neck, my actions debunking my statement altogether. He glanced down at me, a glimmer of amusement in his green eyes and I felt my heartbeat kick up a notch when I suddenly realised how close we were. I blinked and ducked my head. "You know, traditionally, this is usually how grooms carry their brides into the room on their – "

  The sound of stifled laughter made me stop abruptly. The others were still investigating the wreck, but Spike and Lance had been following us, clearly acting as our temporary bodyguards. And they'd heard every word I said to Jed. I couldn't help but blush when I met their discreet mirth-filled gazes over Jed's shoulder, and when I turned back to Jed, he was also biting his lower lip to hold back a smirk.

  "Oh, no, Luna," Lance said smoothly, when I stopped. He stepped forward to hold the door of the car open for us and grinned. "Don't let our presence interrupt your fantasies of your future wedding night."

  I rolled my eyes at him and looked up at Jed, who was gently lowering me down into the backseat. "I'm not concussed, I swear."

  He chuckled quietly, a low rumble in his chest that sent a shiver down my spine. And maybe it was that – how he seemed to let his guard down in its entirety when he was with me even though we'd come so close to a fatal car accident – that sent me curling up closer to him when he slid onto the seat next to me, eager for his warmth despite the scorching sun outside.

  Lance took the wheel, while Spike climbed into the passenger seat up front. He threw us a backward glance over his shoulder, smiling slightly when he saw the way Jed had placed a careful arm around me. "You alright there, Luna?"

  "I'm good, thanks."

  "You sure?" Spike darted a concerned glance down at my ankle, which was by now bruised and red. "That doesn't look too good."

  "It's a little sore – " My reply made Lance snort in laughter again, and I would've kicked the back of his seat had not my legs been aching. "Shut up, Lancelot."

  "My apologies, milady," Lance drawled, his grin widening when he caught Jed's unamused gaze through the rearview mirror. "Don't be jealous, Alpha, we'd ask about how you're feeling too but we all know where your pain really is."

  It seemed that Jed was on the same wavelength as I was, because he aimed a swift kick at the driver's seat, sending Lance jolting forward at the impact and almost smacking his head on the wheel. Spike laughed, but I was more concerned about Jed, who couldn't quite stop grimacing from his actions. The kick was highly necessary, but it was clear that it had aggravated his earlier injury.

  "Are you alright?" I asked worriedly, staring at the dried blood staining his jeans and reaching for his knee involuntarily, only to snatch my hand back just in time when I realised that he'd probably hurt more if I weren't careful. "That must really hurt – "

  "Oh, Luna." The grin on Lance's face was downright wicked now. "That's not the only part of him that hurts – "

  Another kick from Jed, this time one that was strong enough to send Lance smacking right into the wheel. Spike laughed again and the rest of the drive was filled with the kind of light-heartedness that seemed almost ironic in the face of such a terrifying accident. In between Lance's jokes and Spike's laughter, it was so easy to forget about everything that had happened, were it not for the way Jed kept his eyes fixed on the rear-view mirror, his arm wrapped tightly around me.

  It was like we were adrift for awhile, until we neared Titan-land. Passing through the recently invaded Deimos was necessary to get to Titan, and Lance drew the car to a halt near a security post that stopped us on the way over. Leaning out of the window, he spoke to the men guarding in hushed tones, before the divider lifted and we were let through.

  "Extra security," explained Spike, when he caught me looking at the guards. "No one can get in unless authorised. Alpha's orders."

  I flicked a glance at Jed, who was staring impassively out of the window. His fingers had tightened fractionally around my shoulder, but he gave no indication otherwise. Deimos looked perfectly fine now that Prometheus was permanently out of its borders, but the air seemed stiller. Quieter. More guards around. Less people strolling about. Almost as though the place was geared for another attack at any moment.

  It wasn't before long that we were back on Titan-land, and I felt a wave of relief surge through me when I saw the familiar house. Funny how I had once thought it was daunting and frightening, but now, it had become a safe haven for me. After Lance parked the car in the driveway, I tried to climb out of the car on my own but Jed was having none of it. Looping his arms around my waist and legs, he lifted me up and I automatically latched my arm around his neck.

  "What about Adrian and the others?" I asked him in concern, watching as Jed handed the key to Spike so that the latter could unlock the door for us. "Will they be safe?"

  He nodded swiftly and Spike was quick to assuage my worries. "They'll be fine. There're our best fighters, they can't be taken down that easily."

  "Yeah, Luna." Lance dismissed my question with a quick wave. "You should be more concerned about assuaging Alpha's – " He stopped abruptly and winced. "Funny, Alpha. Very blatant abuse of the mind-link."

  I blinked and looked at Jed, who stared back at me with an expression that was too innocent to be true. "What'd you call him?"

  He shrugged, eyes glinting with good-humour as he fought the urge to smile. And when I turned to Lance, he quickly shook his head. "Oh, no, I'm not repeating that. Alpha would banish me if I said that word in front of you."

  "Then you should definitely say it."

  Jed chuckled again, his voice quiet but his laughter absolutely pleasant in a way that made my heart stutter. Lance, on the other hand, rolled his eyes at me over Jed's shoulder and allowed himself to be dragge
d off by Spike.

  "We'll be at the diner. Let us know if you need anything," Spike informed Jed, before putting Lance in a headlock before the latter could put his foot in his mouth again.

  The two of them strolled off at a leisurely pace, while Jed didn't waste a moment kicking the door shut once he'd carried me into the house. Setting me down on the kitchen counter, he headed straight for the cabinet where he kept the first-aid box. After rummaging around for awhile, he finally located it and set the box down beside me.

  I stared at him for awhile, watching as he prepared the bandages and medicine. It hadn't escaped my notice that Jed's actions were charged with an intensity that was almost bordering on desperate. The earlier light-hearted atmosphere that Lance and Spike had provided were now gone, and all that was left was the painful reminder that we'd barely escape a car crash. His hands were trembling as he treated my injuries with excruciating gentleness, like he was terrified that I could break.

  A part of me wanted to stop him, to fix his injuries before he could fix mine. Regenerative healing or not, his wounds were clearly more severe than mine were. But I held back for a moment or two. He needed to do this. Everything about him – the way his jaw was clenched, fingers trembling, an entirely impassive expression on his face save for the terror in his eyes – all that spoke volumes. This was the only way he could stop from falling apart.

  "Jed – " My voice was quiet when I finally reached down, stopping him by placing my hand over his shaking ones, my fingers skimming his bruised knuckles lightly. His eyes flickered up to meet mine uncertainly, a world of apology in his gaze.

  It's okay to fall apart, were the words that came to mind.

  " – I thought I lost you," was all I said instead.

  The impassiveness in his expression immediately disappeared. He was straightening the next second, setting the medicine aside and coming to stand in front of me. His arms were braced on either side of me on the counter and he leaned in, tipping his forehead against mine. The closeness was sudden, and I found my eyelids falling shut involuntarily when I felt his breath feather-light on my lips. His scent infiltrated my senses, a blend of blood and dust and something else that was entirely him, a perfect blend at a time like this because it made everything seem so much more real.