Just Stay With Me

by Valentina Turner

  Seth completely understood what the doctor was talking about. He would have loved to talk more about it, but with Aunt Karen present, he didn’t want to go deeply into it.

  He had to talk it over with Sandy first. Everything in him wanted him to keep it under wraps, but he couldn’t. She had to know what happened before the accident.

  She had to face it and they had to deal with it. How long would she put it away because it was so hurtful? It would drive him crazy not talking about it.

  “What do you suggest, doctor?” Aunt Karen asked beside him in the doctor’s office. “Do we tell her about what happened or do we just leave her to recall it on her own?”

  Sighing, the middle-aged man said, “There are two ways, ma’am. If she’s made to remember what happened, it might hurt so much that she would push it, and maybe, other memories deep into the recesses of her mind. On the other hand, if she’s left to remember on her own, she might never do because she wouldn’t want to go through the hurt again.”

  Seth was all up for telling her because he didn’t want to keep anything from her. But at the same time, he didn’t want to cause her any pain. He had hurt her too much already. The fact that she was lying on a hospital bed told him how much damage he had caused.

  What he had to do now was to find out how far back she could recall. He hoped that it was only the incident in front of her apartment.

  The knowledge that she had been hurt so much by Haley’s announcement tore his heart to shreds. He ought to be flogged for what he did to her. She didn’t deserve his past causing her so much trauma.

  I’ll fix everything. I’ll make her whole again.

  “Oh, my God,” Aunt Karen suddenly exclaimed and turned to grab his hand tightly. “I think it’s James.”

  “What?”

  “James coming out of prison is what she doesn’t want to recall. She has done everything possible to get her mind off her childhood memories. Seeing him again must have brought back painful recollections.”

  “I don’t think that’s why she lost her memory,” Seth informed her.

  Allow her continue to think that, Seth, while you buy yourself some time to sort things out with Haley.

  Seth shook his head inwardly. He couldn’t hide behind that. It was cowardly.

  Aunt Karen looked at him with distress. “It’s true. You don’t know how much she hates James.” A sob caught in her throat. “And I made her come back to Plyrock, tragicly only to meet him again and bring back painful memories. What have I done?”

  Seth put an arm around the sobbing woman. “Please don’t do this to yourself, Aunt Karen. Sandy will be fine. I don’t think that you should trouble yourself so much about this. Sandy is a strong woman. She will get over this. Together, we’ll help her.”

  Aunt Karen nodded, sobbing into her handkerchief. “I wish I had thought of the possible repercussions of Sandy returning to Plyrock. I should have remembered how much she loved to hide behind a smile even when her world was falling apart. I’m to be blamed for everything.”

  Seth carried on with comforting her while the doctor looked on with a shake of his head.

  Seth didn’t know how long he could take this. He hadn’t expected that Aunt Karen would presume that seeing her stepfather again was the reason Sandy chose not to remember anything before the accident.

  But what if it was indeed James’s appearance that had caused her to have selective memories? She had been really terrified of the bastard the other day. And hadn’t the distress led to them making love?

  He wondered if she remembered them sharing a glorious time together. If she didn’t recall before the accident, did her memory stretch as far as that time? He would be shattered if she couldn’t recall their shared passion.

  Maybe if he made love to her again, she would remember everything. But did he want to do that, given that she was still unwell and it might also make her remember what happened that day before he was ready to tell her?

  “Thank you, doctor,” he said and rose, taking Sandy’s aunt with him. “If we have any questions, we’ll come back.”

  “No problem. Please feel free to do so.” The doctor also got up and shook hands with him.

  “Thank you, doctor,” Aunt Karen said in a small voice.

  Seth led her out of the office with his arm still around her shoulders.

  “Aunt Karen, you have to pull yourself together. Sandy can’t see you like this. She might think that she was dying or something.”

  She nodded, sniffing. “I just feel so guilty that I might have caused her to be traumatized for life.”

  “Please stop saying that. Remember that Sandy and I had a misunderstanding before she got in the accident.”

  Seth could have cut out his tongue at that minute as Aunt Karen did a dramatic head turn and glared at him with suspicious eyes.

  “What do you mean by that?” she queried, narrowing her gaze. “What was the misunderstanding all about? Did it have anything to do with the woman I saw you with earlier?”

  Seth cursed inwardly. Why did he just put himself in a tight spot by trying to get her to stop blaming herself for her niece’s predicament? He had felt so guilty seeing her so broken, he couldn’t take it any longer.

  “We’ll discuss later, Aunt Karen. I suggest we go back to Sandy and tell her everything is fine to avoid her getting worried.”

  The woman regarded him with distrustful eyes. “Was I wrong about you, Seth? Did I make a terrible mistake coercing her into entering a relationship with you?”

  “I promise you, Aunt Karen. I would rather die than hurt Sandy. The woman you saw was my ex. She only came to make trouble, and unfortunately, Sandy fell for it. She got so upset before I could tell her not to believe a word of what the woman claimed. As a result of that, she ran into the road without looking and then the car hit her.”

  Her mouth fell open and he felt like a heel for telling her. He should have kept it to himself. She wouldn’t understand that he hadn’t meant for her to get hurt.

  He was surprised when Aunt Karen shook her head and said, “I don’t think it’s enough to get her to push back painful memories. I still insist that it has something to do with James. I know she loves you but I don’t think such a trivial incident would cause her to be traumatized.”

  Seth didn’t know whether he should feel happy or insulted at the woman’s words. Happy that she thought he wasn’t to be blamed for Sandy’s present state of mind. Insulted she thought their love wasn’t so strong that Sandy wouldn’t be traumatized at the thought she had been about to lose him.

  Without waiting for him to respond, she stalked off and left him standing there in the hallway.

  Seth cursed inwardly. Things weren’t going as planned. He didn’t know what to make of Sandy losing her memory. He wished that wasn’t the case because they would have hashed things out. But as things stood, he wouldn’t be able to talk about it, at least for a while. And he was worried that it might just drive him crazy.

  Running his fingers through his hair as he was wont to do whenever he was upset, he walked down the hallway to Sandy’s room. He was surprised to see Aunt Karen by the door, apparently waiting for him.

  “I don’t think we should tell her about what we discussed in the doctor’s office. I think we’d be doing her more harm than good,” she informed him the second he reached her.

  Seth wanted to tell her that he didn’t think she was doing Sandy any good by keeping the truth about things from her. James would never hurt her again. That was certain. So, he didn’t think it was wise not telling her about it. She had dealt with the memories in the past and came out strong. He definitely believed she would do it again.

  “Aunt Karen, I think you’re underestimating how strong Sandy is. Believe me; I know more about the brain than you think. I think it would be best for us to tell her that she lost her memory but she would be fine. She and I can talk about what happened that made her run into the road. And then, we’ll see from that if that’s the re
ason she has chosen to push back some memories.”

  The woman shook her head vehemently. “I will not risk her becoming more scalded than she already is by that bastard. We’ll leave her to remember when she’s good and ready.”

  Seth opened his mouth to argue further but he quickly shut it. She was Sandy’s next of kin. He had no right to dictate things to her. Perhaps she was right. Maybe what Sandy really needed was time to sort things out herself. It was possible that it was his guilt that was pushing his yearning to talk things out with her.

  It wasn’t like he was going to walk in there and tell her that his ex-girlfriend was pregnant. He would definitely give her a week or more to recuperate before he told her.

  Aunt Karen was most probably right. Even if it killed him, he would keep his mouth shut.

  The woman sighed. “I know you mean well for her but please promise me that you won’t breathe a word of what she can’t remember to her.”

  It would be hard keeping the topic of Haley from Sandy but he would do it even if it did kill him.

  “I promise,” he replied resignedly.

  Chapter 5

  “Are you all right?”

  Sandy’s eyes narrowed with suspicion when Seth turned away after he helped her from the bed. He had been acting quite weird ever since she woke up and found herself on a hospital bed.

  It had come as a huge shock to her that she had been involved in an accident. For a long time, she had tried remembering the cause but always ended up with a headache. Waking up bruised all over with a bump on her head had come as a huge shock to her.

  She was always so careful when it involved crossing roads. So, she couldn’t quite understand how she had crossed the road without looking properly first. Maybe she had been so lost in thought, she hadn’t bothered looking.

  Falling in love with a handsome hunk like Seth was enough for her to lose her wits, she figured. The doctor had told her that she lost a part of her memory and wouldn’t recall some things for a while but she would eventually.

  As far as she hadn’t forgotten how much she loved Seth, she didn’t mind. Although, she had to say that she was quite curious about the things she forgot.

  Seth had been acting bizarre about the whole thing and she was beginning to wonder if it wasn’t imperative for her to try to remember what happened before the accident.

  It usually caused her head to ache, so she didn’t bother with it. But there were times she would see Seth staring into space before catching himself.

  “I’m fine,” he replied after a spell. “Don’t I look all right to you?”

  A smile splashed across her face. “You know you look mighty fine to me. I’m just worried that something seems off with you.”

  He turned to her then with raised brows. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean that I feel there’s a part of you that I can’t quite reach. You’re here, but at the same time, I can feel you’re someplace else. It’s quite disturbing I must tell you.”

  Sandy held her breath when he looked intently into her eyes and opened his mouth. She suddenly realized that he was about to say something deep. Her heart thudded against her chest as she waited for him to tell her what was running through his mind.

  But before he could say anything, the door opened and Aunt Karen came into the room carrying a small basket. Sandy pushed aside her conversation with Seth to bestow on her aunt a fond smile.

  Her aunt put her arms around her and gave her a warm hug after placing the basket on the cabinet beside the door. Aunt Karen pulled away with tears in her eyes. She cupped her niece’s cheek.

  “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re going home today. I was so upset when I first saw you lying on that hospital bed; I thought you would never recuperate. I feared the very worst.”

  Sandy smiled through her tears of joy. “I understand how you feel, Aunt Karen. I also feared the very worst when I woke up sore all over with my head pounding and no inkling of what happened.”

  A shadow crossed her aunt’s eyes before she patted her cheek and said, “Don’t worry, you’ll remember everything soon.”

  “I hope so. It feels like I’m walking in a dark room sometimes. A sense of urgency and despair assails me so much sometimes that I feel so sad and tears come to my eyes.”

  Sandy’s pulse raced when she saw a look that passed between her aunt and Seth.

  “Is anything wrong?”

  Aunt Karen hastily shook her head. “No, sweetie, it’s to be expected. The doctor said so. We’re just worried at the sadness it causes you. Perhaps, you shouldn’t try to remember anything just yet. The accident took place barely a week ago. You should rest your mind and body. It will all come back to you at the right time.”

  Sandy wanted to ask if they were hiding something from her but she decided to let it be. She had asked that question so many times, she was beginning to sound like a broken record. She didn’t want them to get weary of her. Besides, she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what they had to say that might disturb her peace.

  She was glad to be going home. Her aunt had wanted her to come home with her. But when they considered all the angles, they saw that it was best if she went with Seth.

  She loved the ranch, and the fresh air there would help with her recuperation. Besides, her aunt would be busy with her chemotherapy; it would be difficult for her to take care of Sandy no matter how much she wanted to. She was, however, coming with them to see the ranch, and Sandy presumed it was make sure it was a good enough place for her.

  “Are you ready?” Seth asked when aunt and niece continued to look at each other with tears in their eyes.

  “I sure am,” Sandy said with excitement.

  She loved going to the ranch and riding the horses. She didn’t think that she would be able to ride given her injuries. But she was certain she would enjoy doing other things there.

  Malcolm, she was glad that she remembered him, had taught her how to milk a cow. She couldn’t wait to learn how to churn butter.

  Suddenly, nothing else mattered in her life except being the perfect partner to Seth. She wanted to be a partner who fit perfectly in his world.

  Aunt Karen laced her fingers through hers and led her out the door in Seth’s wake. As they walked down the corridor into the reception and then sunshine which she basked in for a moment, Sandy’s thoughts were never far from Seth.

  If anything, she could say that she was more in love with him than before the accident. Thankfully, she could remember some of their time together even though she couldn’t remember it all.

  Her eyes were locked into his broad shoulders as he led the way to his brother’s truck. He swung her case into the back seat and then turned to help her into the vehicle. For a moment, their eyes met and held.

  Sandy lost all coherent thought at that moment. Her mouth ran dry and her color heightened. Of their own volition, her lips parted.

  Aunt Karen giggled beside her. “Stop it, you two. You’re making me feel old watching this young love between you.”

  Blushing furiously and seared by Seth’s hot gaze and hand on her arm, Sandy climbed in. Then he turned around to help her aunt.

  Aunt Karen laughed. “I know you’re a gentleman but I’m not too old to climb into a truck by myself.”

  Sandy giggled, willing her color and racing pulse to come back to normal. Maybe she should have gone home with Aunt Karen instead. Was this how she would react to Seth’s proximity all the time? It would be highly embarrassing.

  Sandy’s discomfiture continued when Seth climbed into the driver’s seat. His musky scent filled the whole car, sending spikes of excitement through her.

  Oh, boy, it was going to be a long journey to the ranch.

  ***

  This is pure torture!

  Seth didn’t know how much he could take being so close to Sandy and being unable to take her in his arms and kiss her speechless.

  In the hospital, he had avoided coming too close to her, which was underst
andable, given her health condition. But with her okay now and looking as beautiful as ever, he was finding it mighty hard keeping his hands to himself.

  Even as he drove along the interstate to his brother’s ranch, he kept on thinking about how he was going to survive being with her without touching her.

  He was still filled with indecision about telling her what he believed had caused her memory selection and the accident. Aunt Karen had sworn him to secrecy. But that didn’t ease the guilt in his mind.

  If Sandy regained her memory, she would think that he had intentionally kept the truth from her. And he didn’t know how he would be able to handle that.

  Seth decided just as he swerved into the road that led to the ranch that he would tell her as soon as her aunt left. But when he heard a gasp from her and chanced a look in her direction, he had a rapid change of heart. Her obvious joy at being at the ranch again would be ruined by his confession.

  “It’s so beautiful and peaceful out here,” she mentioned with a bright smile on her face.

  Seth looked over the lush vegetation and had to agree with her. It was indeed a good place to recuperate.

  Aunt Karen marveled at the beauty of her surroundings. “Oh, my. I didn’t know the ranch was this big. Sandy, I take back what I said. You will be well taken care of here. Mmm… smell that fresh country air.”

  Seth chuckled. Sandy’s aunt made it seem as if they were in some small town or village. But he had to agree with her. Sandy was going to be taken very good care of. He had even employed someone to do the housekeeping and cooking.

  He didn’t want her stressing herself out. The only thing he would allow her to do was paint. It would be therapeutic for her. Maybe when she was up to it, they could go riding as well. She usually enjoyed riding with him.

  Seth drove the truck to a halt in front of the ranch house and quickly alighted to help Sandy from the car. As usual, tremors ran through him at merely touching her. He ignored them and focused on taking her suitcase from the back seat. The overnight bag she had packed before the accident was in the spare room he had prepared for her.