ALBA

by HL TRUSLOVE

  “Wow. You look…”

  “The same?” he echoes your thoughts. You shrug.

  “You look a whole lot better than me, I can imagine. It’s good to see you, Viktor.”

  A rare smile crosses his lips.

  “You too, mate, you too.”

  “How have you been?”

  “I’ve been… actually, doing quite well,” he settles on. He looks a bit… uncomfortable.

  “You don’t have to hide the fact that you’re okay, Viktor. We’ve had different experiences here. There’s no point feeling guilty for being happy.”

  He seems to relax a little.

  “I am happy. I actually enjoy this place. I was worried about you, of course. But I think… I think I am going to stay here. I won’t go back.”

  It might be the longest sentence you’ve heard Viktor ever say.

  “Then good luck, Viktor. I hope you’re happy.”

  You mean it. There’s no point harbouring resentment. The two of you shake hands and he’s called away to help dismantle the latrines. You don’t envy him.

  When you start, it turns out it only takes about three days of walking to get back to your original spot. You are on the move from sunup to sundown, but that doesn’t seem particularly taxing after all the travelling you’ve done. Instead you remain resolved as you walk. You pass Mari a couple of times, but whenever you lock eyes she looks away with a scowl.

  You can recognise the place the camp first left. Not because of the actual camp, but because of what’s left of your boat. A couple of wooden boards float on the surface of the ocean, bobbing about but constricted to the wreck by a piece of sail that’s stuck on jagged rocks. You feel a little sad that this is all that’s left of your journey here.

  And then, for the most part, you’re left alone. A couple of times people come over to ask you about your journey, but they leave disappointed when you give short, uninteresting answers. You don’t want to discuss these things any more than you absolutely have to.

  You see the ship on the horizon the morning of your twelfth day back with camp. You stand on the hill next to where the makeshift port was and watch it come closer and closer, excitement building in your chest for when it docks. The sailors see you waiting and wave.

  You wave back.

  They’re met by Fanon when they weigh anchor and start unloading the supplies from the ship. It takes an excruciatingly long time, and by the time they’re done it’s early evening and the crew has to stay the night. You barely sleep in your tent, anxious to be off as soon as daylight breaks.

  The crew find you waiting next to the ship the next morning.

  The ship is loaded with a few empty crates and sets sail with you on it. Fanon, Viktor and a couple of others wave you goodbye. You watch them until they’re out of sight, until the coast is just a strip of grey and brown on the vast ocean, until it’s nothing at all.

  It’s the last you ever see of Alba.

  THE END.

  Chapter 31

  Ending Two

  31.0

  Your breath catches in your throat. This is… a big decision. Not something to be taken lightly.

  What they’ve just asked you is huge. And not just for the camp – what you say could impact the way the vault interacts with the outside world for… well, forever.

  “Can I… can I have time to think about it?” you ask, hesitantly. Mari goes to open her mouth but Fanon interrupts her.

  “Of course you can. Don’t feel like you need to rush. This isn’t a decision to be made lightly. Nobody will blame you for taking your time.”

  He looks over to Mari who deflates a little and tries to suppress her rolling eyes.

  “Take the day. But I’d like to be able to get back to the vault with your choice by tomorrow.”

  You nod and take your leave. As soon as you’re out of the tent you hear whispered, almost hissed, conversation strike up behind you. You don’t stay to listen. You can already imagine what it will be about anyway: Mari complaining and Fanon defending you.

  You want to be alone for a while. You’d think you’d have had enough of being alone for the rest of your life after being lost for so long, but for the first time you’re beginning to feel… overwhelmed. No matter where you turn in the camp, there are people. Chittering and chatting, making so much noise. You need space to think.

  You find yourself on a hill at the perimeter of camp. You can look down on the tents while keeping an eye on your surroundings. You let yourself get lost in thought.

  You’re not sure it’s fair that you’ve been asked to make this choice. What gives you the authority? You’re just someone who got lost in a storm.

  There are people who’ve been out here for longer than you. Fanon. Mari, even – she’s lived basically her whole life here.

  You wonder if that accounts for some of her foul mood earlier. She doesn’t like the fact that she’s being looked over to let you make the decision. You can understand that; if you were in her position, you probably wouldn’t appreciate it either.

  Someone’s coming up the hill towards you. You’re so caught up in your own thoughts you almost don’t notice.

  “Penny for your thoughts?”

  It’s Jan. The man who greeted you into the camp when you landed, with his irritating optimism. Clearly, nothing has changed, because he’s still giving you a big smile. You can’t find it in yourself to return it.

  “It’s been… a long few weeks,” you say, lying back on the cold grass. Jan takes this as an invitation to come and sit down next to you.

  “Looks like you’re worried about something. I thought you’d be relieved.”

  “I am. It’s just...” You sigh. Well, you might as well be honest. Maybe he can help shed some light on all of this. “The vault… they’ve asked me what to do. How we go forward from now. The whole expedition. They think, because I got lost for a few weeks, that suddenly I’m some sort of expert. But I’m not.”

  Jan, to his credit, listens and nods. Then he doesn’t say anything for a moment, choosing instead to pull out some grass and twist it between his fingertips, marking them green.

  “All right. So, say you got back and you didn’t have the vault asking you to make a choice. Say it was just Fanon, asking your opinion on how we should proceed with the mission. What do you think you’d tell him? Would you say it was worth pushing forwards, or falling back and returning home?”

  Everything that’s happened washes over you. Every ally you gained, every enemy you made. Every time you feared for your life. Knowing that, honestly, you had it better than everyone else who lived in this land. Here, the terror wasn’t just a daily event – it was a way of life. Now, you have the power to make it better.

  “I suppose... I’d say we should help who we can. But we need to be careful, because this place is more dangerous than anything the vault could have prepared us for.”

  “Well, there you go then. Looks like you knew the answer all along.” Jan smiles at you and tucks the grass he’s braided behind his ear. You feel like he’s over-simplifying things, but maybe he’s just helped to put things in perspective.

  “Thank you, Jan,” you say honestly. He practically beams.

  “Glad I could help.”

  He leaves you alone, getting to his feet and trotting back down the hill.

  You suppose you have your answer, then.

  You take the rest of the day to mull over your choice, keeping to yourself, but all things considered you’re pretty confident. You sleep fairly well that night. It helps to not have worry. So, when dawn breaks the next day, you know what you’re going to tell Fanon and Mari.

  You find them in the strategy tent. Mari has a steaming cup of something that she sips from, even though it’s probably going to burn her mouth. Fanon is eating some dried berries and commenting on the weather. Both of them look up in surprise when they see you come in.

  “I didn’t expect you to come here. Thought I might have to track you down,” says Ma
ri, taking another scalding swig.

  “Well, you asked me for an answer, and I have one. I think.”

  Fanon perks up, Mari just looks even more taken aback.

  “Oh? Go on,” she says.

  So you explain everything. That you believe the people in the old world need to be helped, that you really need to offer the aid of the vaults and the people that they bring over. But also that there’s always going to be the threat of raiders, or the people who will exploit what you offer, so you’ll also always need to be on your guard.

  It won’t be an easy mission. But it might be what is needed to put the world back together.

  Fanon nods, taking in your words, and Mari seems to be happy with the answer. Well, as happy as Mari can be.

  “All right, I’ll go and let the vault know,” she says, draining her mug and leaving the tent. You’re left with Fanon who looks at you with a soft smile.

  “So,” he says, “do you know where we need to start?”

  Turn to 31.A, Needs Morag.

  * * *

  Turn to 31.B.

  31.A

  “Yes,” you say with the most confidence you’ve felt for a long while. “I think I do.”

  To be fair to the vault, there isn’t any time wasted. Once you’ve passed on the information about your plan, they organise everything quickly. You’re given a group of five other people to go and seek out the village from the ship. Your pack is stocked up with fresh supplies and a new tent, one that’s a lot less battered. You’re given a radio communicator this time, too, large but still portable. One of your companions is assigned to lug it around.

  Setting off into the Old World this time, you feel a lot more reassured than the first. Having six people together makes you feel a lot safer than when it was just you – there’s always someone to keep watch during the night. You aren’t bothered by raiders on the way, but it helps you feel reassured.

  It takes a while to track down Morag. You get to the burned, rusted wreck of the ship, and you can remember which way they headed when they left, but apart from that it’s all guesswork. It takes you the better part of a month to find them again.

  The first thing you see is the smoke over the horizon. When you’re close enough, you whip out your new binoculars and take a look.

  Dozens of tents have been set up in the wreck of an old building, a huge one-storey thing that looks like it hasn’t seen this much life for years, maybe since before the war. You can see people inside the structure itself and spilling out into their homes onto the tarmac. Children run and scream as they play their little games, people talk and laugh. You smile.

  As your group makes its way to them, you call out a greeting, letting it be known you don’t mean any harm. The people who spot you seem skittish and soon Morag is called to meet you. Her face lights up when she spots you.

  “Well I’ll be damned!” she laughs with a smile so wide you can see all her yellow teeth. You don’t have time to protest before she pulls you into a tight hug.

  “I didn’t think I’d see you again, chicken!”

  “I didn’t either,” you say. She might be crushing your ribs but you can still feel yourself grin. When she sets you down, she seems a little confused.

  “Well, what brings you here? I see you have some friends now.” She gestures at the group behind you.

  “I found the people I was looking for, Morag. From the vault. And now we were wondering if you want to… make an alliance, I suppose.”

  Her eyebrows shoot up.

  “An alliance?”

  “Yes. To help look after each other. We want to try to make a trading network between our group and all the other friendly villages around here.”

  She looks confused, but not unhappy.

  “Why?”

  “Because we want to work towards a better future – for everyone.”

  Morag mulls that over, and then she’s smiling again.

  “A better future,” she says, and reaches out her hand.

  You shake it, and you take the first step.

  THE END.

  31.B

  “I think so,” you say. “There’s a city not too far from here. You might have seen it when you were travelling. There are hundreds of people there who need help. If we can get them all to band together, we could really change their lives.”

  Fanon nods and brings you over to the map. You point out the area you mean and he jots down some notes.

  “All right. I’ll make sure Mari passes this back on to the vault as well. I can’t see any reason they would object to what you’ve said, so let’s start organising a party to make contact.” He pauses. “Do you want to be the one to lead them?”

  “I can be,” you say. You weren’t expecting to want to go back, but it could be different this time. It will be different. You won’t be on your own, blindly searching for something that keeps slipping from your fingers. You’ll have a purpose. A mission.

  So Fanon gathers you a team. Seven other people who he thinks will be able to help and support you. He lets you talk to each of them to appraise them and their skills yourself. They all seem tough and competent. They seem like they’ll have your back out there – that’s really all you need to know.

  And then, a week after you returned to the camp, you’re about to leave again with the vault’s blessing.

  Your team gets to work quickly, getting their supplies together. Plenty of rations for the group and new, sturdy tents. Someone even has a portable radio so you can keep in touch with the camp. You won’t be isolated again.

  It’s dawn when you’re about to set out. Fanon and Mari come to see the eight of you off.

  “Seeing as I didn’t get to say it properly last time, good luck.” Fanon shakes your hand and pulls you into a hug. It’s a little awkward because of the size of your pack – you’ve stocked up with supplies for any possibility – but you return it with enthusiasm.

  “Let us know when you get there and tell us if there’s any problems,” says Mari. She looks confident. It helps spur you on.

  “I will,” you say. You turn to your team.

  “Are you ready?”

  They all shout back enthusiastically. You grin.

  You take your first steps on your new mission back out into the Old World.

  THE END.

  Chapter 32

  Ending Three

  32.0

  Mari’s question hits you like a sucker-punch. All you can do for a moment is blink and try to process what she’s said.

  “They want me to make that choice?” you ask. Mari shrugs.

  “Apparently. I don’t understand it either. So, what’s your decision?”

  A wave of dread washes over you, sucking the feeling of relief from your body, replacing it with white-hot fear. This isn’t a decision you can make with a snap of your fingers. It’s not even a decision you want to make. Clearly, you’re not doing a very good job of hiding how you feel because both Mari and Fanon are staring at you worriedly.

  “Are you all right?” Fanon asks. You wave his question away.

  “I’m… fine. Can uh, can I have some time to think about it?”

  “Yes, of course you can. It was unfair for this to be sprung on you anyway.” Fanon gives a sharp look to Mari, who just huffs and looks away.

  “Just have a decision by tomorrow morning,” she states.

  “Thank you,” you say, getting to your feet and heading towards the tent flap. As soon as you leave, you hear hissed conversation between Fanon and Mari but you don’t pause to try to hear it. You know they’ll just be arguing over you, and you don’t need anything to add to the stress of this situation. What you need is to be alone.

  On your way, a man smiles at you. You don’t recognise him but he clearly knows who you are. All of the camp must do at this point.

  “Hello,” he says, “how are you holding up?”

  You grunt your response and walk away. He’s left staring dumbly after you.

  You crawl in
to your tent and lay down heavily on your sleeping mat. It smells in here. It smells of sweaty, unwashed human, of grass and dirt, of smoke from dozens of campfires. It smells like the entirety of the last weeks. It’s come to be somewhat of a comforting scent, as strange as that is. This tent has been your home, and that’s what the smell now reminds you of.

  You really can’t make the choice for the vault. It’s not fair for them to ask you to do it. You were nothing but an explorer when you left them, and now they’re acting like you’re the most important person there’s ever been?

  It’s too much pressure. A lesser person would crack.

  You’re not even sure what to say. For the last however many days, you’ve been lost – the only thing you’ve been thinking about is getting back. Anything further than that never occurred to you.

  You try to relax, closing your eyes and letting your head lull backwards. There’s noise outside, the hubbub of people going about their lives. You furrow your brow. It’s… distracting. Irritating even. You forgot just how loud people could be. You’ve been on your own for so long you learned to appreciate the quiet.

  It was a much nicer sound.

  But now you’re back here, where people are making a racket. Taking up every inch of the inside of your head with their incessant noise. Knowing they want to ask you questions about what it was like being lost. The dire knowledge they won’t stop poking with their little questions.

  And a tiny part of you wonders, do you want to be back here at all?

  You want to quash the thought immediately. It makes you feel terrible, but part of you continues to nag away. Why were you so desperate to get back here? You don’t know anyone here. The people who you had the longest relationships with were Gaia and Viktor, and you only knew them for three weeks on the ship. You have no real ties here. Only safety in numbers – and honestly, can’t that be found anywhere there are friendly people?