Keeping Meg (Devil's Knights #6)

by Winter Travers

  “I wasn’t ordering for you,” I mumbled. My lack of sleep needed to be remedied and the only way that was going to happen was with three cups of coffee.

  “OK, three coffees for Meg coming right up.” Marley breezed out the door, and I growled at her chirpiness. It was inhuman to be so happy this early in the morning. “There’s something wrong with that one.”

  Cyn pulled a pack of gum out of her purse and offered me a piece. “It’s eleven o’clock, Meg. Most people are up by now.”

  “Hmm, it’s still the morning.”

  “Alright. Who’s first?” Gwen asked pushing a cart out of the backroom that was loaded full of anything you could possibly need to do hair.

  “I volunteer as tribute,” Cyn laughed as she struggled to stand up.

  The girl was only three months, but she acted like she was nine months. Granted she was much bigger than someone normally is at three months. “Were you watching Hunger Games again?” I asked, leaning my head back and sliding my sunglasses back on.

  “Yeah. Rigid loves the damn movies. I told him to read the books, they’re better. But he laughed. I have to admit the thought of seeing Rigid read a book that is other than a car manual made me giggle.” She sat down in the salon chair and Gwen spun her around and put a cape around her shoulders.

  “Loved the movies, never read the books,” Gwen replied. “I never can find the time to read. By the time I fall into bed at night, I’m either exhausted, or Gambler finds other things to keep me occupied.” She smirked at me in the mirror and grabbed a comb and a huge container of bobby pins off of the cart she had wheeled out earlier and got to work on Cyn’s hair.

  “I think we have that problem now with our men in our lives. I used to sit on my back porch and read all day. I can’t even remember the last book I picked up.” The thought that I couldn’t remember made me sad. I really did love to read, but I never had the time to. My life had changed so drastically from what it had been just a year ago. Would I ever be able to sit down and read a book ever again, or would I always be too busy?

  “What’s up with the frown?” Gwen asked as she spun Cyn around, her back now to the mirror.

  “I can’t remember the last book I’ve read.”

  “Yeah, you said that. Is that a big deal?” Gwen asked as she studied me in the mirror.

  “No. Well, kind of. My life has changed so much to let Lo in.”

  “I’m sure Lo’s life has changed, too.”

  “Really? How?”

  “Well, um… you know.”

  “Great examples,” Cyn scoffed. “Look, Meg. You and I know both know that the way these guys are now compared to how they used to be is way different.” Gwen clipped half of Cyn’s hair on top of her head, and it flopped down into her face. Cyn huffed, blowing the hair away. “Lo and Rigid, hell, even Gambler lived a life where the only people they had to answer to were each other. Now, they have us in their lives, complicating things, but making their lives a hell of a lot better.”

  “Amen,” Gwen sang. “These men were lost before us, and they’d be lost again without us.”

  “I want to read.” I felt like I had lost so much of myself. When I had agreed to be with Lo, I had found myself, but now I felt like everything I thought I was, was now gone.

  “Then read, Meg. You really think Lo is the reason you stopped reading? Because you’re wrong. I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. He’d give you anything you’d want or need without batting an eyelash. I know that look on your face. You’re overthinking this. Stop it.” Cyn glared at me, and I looked out the window, knowing she was right, but I couldn’t help it.

  “I’m gonna go look for Marley,” I mumbled. I grabbed my purse and headed out the door, not listening to either Gwen or Cyn who called after me.

  I pulled my coat tight around me and headed down the sidewalk. It wasn’t until I was standing by my truck that I realized what I was about to do.

  After I unlocked the door and slid into the driver’s seat, I slammed the door shut and put the key in the ignition. Snowflakes started to fall as I looked out the windshield and felt the tears threatening to fall.

  I didn’t know if I could do this. I was losing myself in Lo. Just like I did with Hunter and look how that turned out. We ended up hating each other and divorced.

  Cyn and Gwen poured out of the salon, and I started the truck and hit the door lock. I shifted the truck into drive as they hollered at me and I let my foot off the brake as they crossed the street. I sped past them as I watched Cyn pull her phone out of her pocket, and I knew who she was calling.

  I needed to get out of here. I needed to think. I needed to figure out what I wanted.

  I needed to figure out if I had just made the worst decision of my life.

  ________

  Lo

  “You wanna tell me why the hell I had to look all over for you, and I find you sitting on your bike in the garage?”

  I glanced over my shoulder to see Demon standing in the doorway. “Too many fucking people. Can’t think straight.”

  “What the hell do you have to think about?” Demon sauntered over to his bike that was parked next to mine and threw his leg over it. We had all been found from time to time in the garage, just sitting on our bikes in the winter. It was hard to be free for eight months of the year on our bikes then four months of being trapped in a cage.

  “Do you ever think you’ll settle down?”

  “I had a chance to settle down years ago, and I blew it. We both fucking blew it. I couldn’t see what was right in front of my nose, and she was too young.”

  “You’re the same age as me, brother. I think there’s still time for ya. Hell, look at Gravel.”

  “Yeah, well, Gravel and your Mom are different. Besides, we’re not talking about me right now. I wanna know what the hell you have to think about on your wedding day. All your thinking should be done.”

  I grasped the handlebars and shook my head. “Not that kind of thinking. I know Meg is the one. I haven’t doubted that since the day I met her. I’m just thinking about everything I guess. Where the club was, where we’re headed. So many changes happened in such a short amount of time that I never really had a chance to just sit back and think about everything.”

  “Things change, brother, but as long as they change for the better, just roll with it.”

  “True that,” I mumbled.

  “Yo,” Rigid called. “Cyn said she needs to talk to you. She called my phone ranting about Meg and reading. She told me to put you on the phone or she was going to name our kid Bartholomew.”

  Demon and I both laughed but knew that Cyn would do it in a heartbeat. Rigid walked over and handed me the phone.

  “Shouldn’t you be sitting in some salon getting your hair done and wrangling my bride?” I said into the phone.

  “Well, that was the plan, but things seem to have taken a different turn.”

  “What the hell does that mean?” I could tell by the tone in her voice that something wasn’t right.

  “She’s gone. She left the salon, got in her truck and left. I don’t know what to do, King.”

  “What the hell do you mean she’s gone?” I barked into the phone. This was not the conversation I planned on having the day of my wedding.

  “We were talking about books and she suddenly got weird, saying how she use to read all the time and ever since she had been with you, she couldn’t remember the last book she had read. I don’t know what she’s thinking right now, King. All I know is she’s gone, and I have no idea where to even look for her.”

  “I’m getting married in four hours, Cyn, and you just told me you have no idea where the hell my bride is.”

  “I’m sorry, King. We tried to stop her, but she was already in her truck by the time we realized she was running.”

  “Fuck,” I growled. I tossed the phone to Rigid and stalked to the door.

  “What the fuck is going on?” Demon ca
lled.

  “Fucking Meg.”

  “Where the hell are you going?”

  “To get my Goddamn bride.”

  ________

  Chapter 25

  Meg

  I didn’t know where I was going when I had gotten in my truck and drove away, but I wasn’t surprised when I pulled up to my house and killed the engine. I could count on one hand the days I had spent here the past month, and that just made me sad.

  It wasn’t Lo’s fault with everything going on with the Assassins, but that didn’t change the fact that I couldn’t even remember the last time I had spent the night at my house.

  I opened the door, numbly stepping out of the truck. “Meg! I’m surprised to see you. I thought you were getting married today.”

  I looked at the house next to mine and saw Larry, my neighbor, standing by his mailbox. “Just have to find something,” I called. I walked around to the back of the house since the front porch was no more, and I didn’t think I could hoist my ass up the three-foot drop off up to the front door.

  Everything looked the same except it was all covered with a thin layer of snow that was now falling heavier. It all looked the same, but it didn’t feel like it. It felt like my whole world had been tipped upside down, and I just realized that I didn’t know what the hell was going on and who I was.

  I stomped up the steps of the back porch, unlocked the door and dropped my coat on the floor. I waited to hear the sound of Blue coming to greet me but remembered he was at the clubhouse. Hell, my dog didn’t even seem like he was mine anymore. He was always out in the garage with Lo or sleeping on the couch in the common room.

  The kitchen chair skidded across the floor as I pulled it out and sat down. The clock on the stove said one o’clock. It was two hours until I was supposed to get married. I looked down at my clothes and laughed, wondering if Lo would marry me in my chuck’s and jeans. That was one thing that hadn’t changed. I still dressed the same.

  I heard a car pull up in my driveway, not surprised that someone was already here. When I had left the salon, my phone had rung non-stop until I had turned it off. When I got to my house, I had left it in my truck, not wanting to turn it on.

  I thought twice about getting up and locking the back door, but I knew if it were Lo, it wouldn’t matter. He had the keys to the house. I didn’t know what I was going to do or say. I didn’t know what I was feeling other than I felt like I had lost myself again. When Lo and I had met, I knew who I was and what I wanted. Now I felt like I was doing the same thing I had done with Hunter. Losing myself in a man again.

  The door to the car slammed shut, and I counted the seconds till I heard the back door open. I closed my eyes, not wanting to go through this. Wishing I could just disappear and not have to figure out everything that was swirling around in my head.

  I heard the chair across from me scrape across the floor and then someone sat down. That someone was Lo, but I was praying it was Cyn or Troy. They talked me out of my last stupid crisis. I just hoped that I was that lucky this time.

  “I love you.” His words crashed into me, tearing me apart. He went straight to the words that would bring me down.

  “I know,” I whispered. A tear streaked down my face and fell on my jeans.

  “Do you love me?”

  I nodded my head yes because I couldn’t deny it. That wasn’t why we were here, though. I didn't doubt my love for Lo, I was afraid I was going to get lost again.

  “Then you wanna tell me why I get a phone call from Cyn, who was hysterical that you ran off, and she had no idea where you were?” I shook my head no because the reason I ran wouldn’t make sense to him. It hadn’t made sense to Cyn or Gwen, so why would it make sense to him? “God dammit, Meg.”

  I opened my eyes and my eyes landed on him as he ran his fingers through his hair. He looked as handsome as ever. Jet black hair, green eyes that always reminded me of fresh cut grass and the most handsome face I had ever seen. He was my Lo. “I don’t read anymore.”

  “I know in your head what you said makes perfect fucking sense, but out here in the real world, you’re going to have to back it up and tell me what the hell that means.”

  I dashed away the tears that were falling with the back of my hand. “I use to come home from work every night, fall into bed and read until either my eyes got tired, or my Kindle would whack me in the face because I fell asleep.” It sounded ridiculous, but it was true. Usually, I’d fall asleep, and my Kindle would fall out of my hands, waking me up and letting me know it was time to get to bed.

  “Babe, I’m still not following what the hell that has to do with you and me getting married.”

  “I don’t do that anymore. Hell, I couldn’t even remember the last book I had read when Cyn and Gwen asked.”

  “Babe, then fucking read.”

  He said it like it was so easy. “But I can’t. Not when I come home. You’re either waiting up for me or wake up as soon as my keys hit the door. We fall into bed, you fuck me until I can’t think straight and I fall asleep.”

  “I don’t see one fucking problem with the last thing you said.”

  “The problem is I love to read, and I can’t do it. It was my escape from life and reality. I could be a librarian who falls for the local rodeo star, the girl who’s terrified of living but somehow falls into local MC and ends up someone’s ol lady-”

  “Now that shit happened to you, why the fuck do you need to read about it when it's going on around you?” Lo cut me off and stood up. “Meg, you wanna read when you get home from work?” I nodded my head yes. “Then fucking read!” He boomed throwing his hands up in the air.

  “It’s more than reading, Lo. I don’t know who I am anymore. I figured out who I was before we got together, but now I’ve lost her again. Don’t you see? I’m not Meg, I’m King’s ol’ lady.”

  “Damn fucking straight that’s a part of who you are, but you’re still the same woman I met six months ago, and I wouldn’t change one damn thing about you.”

  “But it feels different.”

  “Because it fucking is! You think that having a man and a shit ton more friends isn’t going to change things around you? But that don’t mean you fucking change! Hell, Meg. You’re stuck in your damn head with all that bullshit swirling around again, aren’t you?”

  “It’s not shit!” I wailed.

  “It fucking is,” he growled, getting in my face. “I love you with everything I am. I know that my life has changed and, hell, even I have fucking changed since I met you, but I wouldn’t want it any other fucking way. You’re mine,” he bit off.

  “But I’m losing myself in you. I can’t do that to myself again. It’ll destroy us.”

  “Meg, I’m so fucking wrapped up in you that I have no idea where I end and where you begin. I lost myself to you the second I saw you bent over in that damn store, waving your ass at me. That same store that every time when I drive by, I thank God he brought you into my life. I have been looking for you all my life, and I am not about to let you go because you think you’ve lost yourself because you don’t read anymore. You can fucking read and be God damn married to me! It happens every fucking day in marriages across America!”

  “You don’t get it,” I whined, plopping down into my chair.

  Lo looked up at the ceiling and shook his head. “I get it, Meg. I get it more than you think. What happened to you when you were married to Hunter happened because you two didn’t love each other anymore. Not because you lost yourself. You both stayed for as long as you did because you had a kid together.” I closed my eyes and dropped my head. I hated that he knew that. I stayed in a loveless marriage because I was afraid to leave and thought that it was best for my son. “Meg,” he called. I didn’t want to open my eyes. He grabbed my hands, and I felt him kneel down in front of me. “Open those beautiful eyes, babe,” he coaxed.

  “I don’t know what to say, Lo.” I opened my eyes and Lo reached up, wiping
the tears from my face.

  “Do you love me?”

  Such an easy question. “Yes.”

  “Then why are you running from me?”

  “Because I’m scared,” I whispered. “I’m afraid I’ll drive you away. That after a while you’ll get sick of me and then I’ll be alone again, not knowing who I am. I need to keep a part of me, so I know what to do when you leave.”

  He sighed and shook his head. “I’m not going anywhere, Meg. Never. If I didn’t want to be with you every second, I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me. I would have just kept things like they were and never taken things to the next level. You wanna know why I never want to leave?” I shrugged my shoulders, not knowing why he didn’t want to leave. “Because you make me whole. You make me the person I’ve wanted to be all of my life. I have a purpose when I wake up in the morning. You gave my life the meaning I’ve been searching for forever. You’re. Mine.”

  My heart soared when I heard those words, knowing what he was saying was the truth, but I was still afraid. “I love you so much.”

  “Then marry me. Today.”

  I shook my head no and looked away. Fairy Tales weren’t real, and the story that Lo was weaving was fairytale to the core.

  He cupped my chin and turned my head to look at him. “Meg, I can’t promise that our life is going to be perfect, and we’ll never argue or fight. But I can guarantee that I’ll always love you and that my place will always be next to you.”

  “You’ll catch me when I fall? You’ll be there when I make a fool of myself? You’ll never leave, even when there might be something better out there for you? You’ll stay?” I loved this man with everything I had, and I was terrified that he didn’t love me back the same way. It was easy to say that you loved someone. It was showing it that became hard, but that was where all of the proof was.

  “I’ll never let you fall, Meg, except into my arms. I love when you make a fool of yourself because that’s when I know I have the real Meg. The one who isn’t afraid of what others think. The Meg, who would lay her life down for her son and friends. The Meg that makes me whole.”