by Mia Ford
“Please stop,” she said, head to the floor, one hand moving down to the rippled abs of each twin. Both guys took a deep breath and looked at Suzie’s hand. Jared took it in his own hand and kissed it.
“Okay,” he said and pulled her in for a hug. “Sorry, sweetie. I am sorry. We should talk. Or you rest but no more of this. Okay?”
They walked together to his room where, more calm now she explained kindly that she just wasn’t ready for that level of commitment and would need more time to think about it. She thought it would be better for their relationship if she had her own space. In the end, he nodded and wished her a good day with Laura. He accepted that she was not ready yet and promised her it was okay to slow down. What else could he do?
Suzie got up early and snuck out of bed without disturbing Jared. She was feeling guilty about the argument Jeff and Jared had and yearned to know the whole conversation that had gone on. It was not her intention to play either of them and she felt horrible knowing the damage had already been done. Deciding to make them breakfast to alleviate the guilt, she found enough ingredients to make bacon, eggs and pancakes. Working and humming quietly to herself she brewed coffee and set up to feed her guys right at the island where she was cooking. That way she could flip pancakes fresh while they were eating. As the bacon started to cook, the coffee was ready and the kitchen was warm with delicious smells. Following his nose, Jeff stumbled into the kitchen bleary eyed, in rumpled boxers.
“What are you doing woman?” he asked her, rubbing his eyes.
She poured him a cup of coffee and directed him to sit across from her. Instead, he walked around to where she was cooking. Without touching or looking at her he checked out the stove and turned the temperatures down a notch. Before she could protest, Jeff got down on his knees in front of her. He split open her robe until he found the skin of her thighs. Feeling softly with his fingers he opened the robe wider until his face fit inside. Holding her thighs in his hands, he kissed her moving slowly up to her navel, tracing the outline of her belly button with his tongue. Then slowly, inch by inch he kissed her and sucked her skin; stopping at the spot she pushed into his mouth. Letting her control the rhythm he licked and caressed her as she rubbed herself on his mouth. Finally, in waves of pleasure, she covered her mouth and moaned in relief.
Her legs trembled and Jeff still held them, slowly reversing the motions he had just made until he was standing beside her. She was breathing hard and looking at him, at his mouth. Moving in to kiss him, she looked at the clock. Jeff quickly kissed her lips and whispered, “Don’t burn the bacon.” And he walked out.
Regaining her composure while cooking, Suzie prepared the pancakes. The bacon was turned to low and ready to go and the eggs would be ready in minutes. She poured the first of the pancake batter as Jared walked into the kitchen. He walked over and kissed her and then sat where she set his coffee. In her mind, Suzie felt both horrible and happy with herself. Jared’s gentle kiss and friendly conversation and Jeff’s sexual prowess, she wanted both. She would never admit it to anyone else but in her perfect world she could have both of them. In the real world, she was glad Laura would be there soon so she could get away for a while.
Turning away from Jared to get plates, Suzie felt wetness between her legs and bit her lip in arousal. Jeff walked in at that moment, fully dressed and caught the look of desire on Suzie’s face. Smiling, he focused instead on his brother.
“Listen. Sorry if I was an ass last night. I will be out of your hair soon,” he said as he sat down beside Jared.
“No worries. You always tell it like it is. I trust you; I just don’t always like what you say,” Jared said calmly. “It’s nice having you here but I am sure you are eager to go back to your home and life.”
“Yeah,” Jeff said and took a big drink of black coffee. Suzie filled their plates with eggs, bacon and pancakes and then turned to grab condiments. Then she went back to cooking, the process helping keep her mouth shut and her eyes off the two brothers chatting over breakfast.
Laura arrived and Suzie said goodbye, kissing Jared quickly. She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at her friend and said enthusiastically, “Let’s go find me somewhere to live.”
“Okay. But I still think you are crazy for not wanting to live there with Jared,” Laura said. “You have been acting weird lately and if I noticed, you know it’s bad.”
They were driving to their first appointment of the day. Laura had arranged to meet the realtor at the new condo buildings right near their office. Suzie figured they would be out of her price range but was eager to find somewhere to live. After looking at three rental options, Suzie was happy with a small main floor of a house. It was old but quaint and felt comfy. Suzie felt better already knowing she had space to make her own. Unfortunately, she could not move in until the following week but she was not going to let that dampen her spirits. Laura was happy her friend was feeling better and they went for lunch and then clothes shopping. Finally, after a full day, Laura dropped her off at Jared’s and went home.
The downside to the day had been hearing Laura talk about Jeff. Laura was really hoping he would call and seemed to really like him. Suzie was surprised at how jealous that made her feel and knew she would have to make her mind up soon. Back at Jared’s apartment she tidied up and waited for one of her men to arrive home. Jared arrived first and told her that Jeff had a few days before his project could continue, so he went home for a long weekend and would be back next week. Suzie felt sadness that Jeff had not told her himself, or insisted she come away with him. Silly fantasies, she knew.
Jared surprised her again by suggesting they go away for the weekend. “Mom has been bugging me to bring you back there. Now, no pressure, just a quiet get away where we can breathe and have a change of scenery. What do you say?”
“Oh yes,” Suzie said. “It is beautiful there. And it will just be us right, so it will be quiet. Oh Jared it is exactly what we need.”
“Great. I will tell Mom and Dad we are coming,” Jared said.
Once more they drove down the winding highway, this time Suzie was nervous for different reasons. There was no family to meet, no she had done that and failed miserably. She had a lot of thinking to do and she had to try to make her and Jared work. Coming to the place where it all unraveled may be the key to fixing it. And if not she could get some art therapy in. She loved painting with Jared’s mom. Jeff’s mom, she thought then pushed the thought aside. Trying without success to get Jeff out of her mind, she thought about the painting studio in the trees. Then she thought of Jeff, shirtless when he kissed her for the first time.
“You seem lost in a daydream, what are you thinking about?” Jared asked.
“Oh, um just that I would like to do some painting if I could,” Suzie said shyly.
“Definitely. Mom knows about the fire and everything, well not everything but she suggested painting would clear your head,” Jared said.
“You didn’t tell her about us did you?” Suzie said with a worried voice.
“What about us?” Jared asked.
“Well, you know that you wanted me to move in. I would feel awkward if she thought I hurt you.” Suzie was beginning to have doubts.
“Don’t be silly. You didn’t hurt me. Besides we worked through that. You needing your own living space does not mean you want to see other people. Now stop worrying. I only told them about the fire and that you had been staying at my place.” Jared patted her hand in reassurance.
Pulling into the driveway and arriving at the family cabin, Suzie’s anxiety rose. All this place reminded her of was Jeff. They maybe should have gone somewhere else. Somewhere where she and Jared could start over. This was the beginning of her betrayal and she was torn. Fortunately Helen, Jared’s mom, was reading quietly when they got there. His dad had already gone to bed. Suzie smiled and talked for a few moments and then excused herself for the night. The huge, soft bed was calling to her and she needed to close her eyes and not worry about wh
ich Tiefson brother she was talking to.
Falling quickly into the folds of the bed, Suzie fell fast asleep. When she awoke, she was alone and debated staying in bed for the day. Instead she forced herself up, she was tired of moping and wanted to get out into the beautiful forest, find Jared, wherever he was and go for a walk. Separating herself from the down duvet she stretched and got dressed. Upstairs there was coffee brewing but no one was around.
Suzie filled her mug and went outside to sit on the deck. Enjoying the early morning sounds, Suzie sat in solitude. After a time, she saw Helen coming up the lawn from her painting studio. She was smiling and had red paint on her cheek. Suzie watched her glance back towards the studio and stand there wistfully. When she turned back towards the house, Helen saw Suzie and straightened, quickening her pace.
“Good morning,” they said in unison and laughed. Helen got herself some coffee and sat with Suzie. She told her that Jared had gone for a walk with his dad and she was painting a lot these days.
“If I had been up earlier I would have joined you,” Suzie said.
“Oh well, that’s alright, maybe after lunch instead,” Helen said and then got up abruptly. “I just remembered I forgot something in the studio.”
“Do you want me to keep you company?” Suzie asked.
“No!” Helen said quickly. “You stay here I will only be a second.”
Suzie stretched out and felt the sun beginning to peak over the trees. It would be warm today. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply reminding herself to care for herself. It was so peaceful here she could see why Jared’s parents had moved out here. It was paradise. Finally Suzie started to unwind. She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was Jared back with his dad. They joined her with coffee in hands and a rosy glow on their cheeks.
“These are for you.” Jared handed her a bouquet of wildflowers.
“Thank you.” Suzie smiled and held them close.
“That was quite the jog,” Jared’s dad said to him.
“Nah, you are just getting old,” Jared teased.
Suzie rested her head on Jared’s shoulder as he bantered with his dad. A little while later Helen returned from the studio. She looked perplexed and walked into the cabin without a word. Jared’s dad followed her in leaving Jared and Suzie alone on the deck. He put his arm around her and she rested on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat and she closed her eyes breathing in his smell. He still smelled like cologne even here and she laughed. He pressed his lips to the top of her head and she looked around the yard. She had a brief feeling of uneasiness or a sort of déjà vu and got up.
“Let’s go for a walk,” she said, pulling Jared to his feet. He wound his arms around her, kissing her neck.
“Why don’t I take you back to bed instead?” he whispered into her ear.
Twisting away from him she ran towards the paint studio. “You have to catch me first,” she teased. As she reached the studio she stopped to make sure he was following. Her mind begged to see Jeff’s painting but she could not now so she ran.
Chasing her and protesting, Jared followed her into the forest. She twisted and turned down paths to evade his grasp until she was breathless with anticipation and exhaustion. She slowed to a walk and listened for Jared. She thought he missed the last turn so she made no sound. Creeping forward she came to a bench nestled into the side of a hill. It had a beautiful view and she sat still. Jared came and sat down beside her.
“Can we talk for a minute?” he said after a long moment of silence.
“We always talk,” Suzie said.
“You’ve changed,” Jared said abruptly, like he had to push it out.
“What do you mean?” Suzie asked, worried. Wondering if she should tell him the whole story now. Still, unable to handle the crushed look she knew she would see on his face.
“You’re distracted or something and I want to know if there is something you are not telling me,” he spoke in a quiet voice.
Suzie remained silent for a moment, looking at the ground. In her mind, her silence proved her guilt. He waited. Finally she began with uncertainty, “If I was keeping something from you it would only be because I love you.” It was the first time she had said it from her heart and in the moment she meant it. She did love him and could not stand hurting him. He could hear in her voice she meant it and he moved in beside her supporting her slumped body.
“If you love me, you will talk to me about it so we do not have this distance between us. Okay?” Jared said gently and he kissed her cheek.
Tears welled in Suzie’s eyes as she knew he was right. She blinked them away and kissed his lips. “Ok, Jared. I know. Can we talk about it on the way home though? I just want to enjoy our time here.” And she meant it. He might hate her for it later but she needed some time to think. She had promised herself she would lie about it so what would she tell Jared? How could she turn this situation into a happy ending?
Jared hugged her again. “Okay, he said. Besides, we’re missing lunch and then you are going painting with Mom.”
“Yeah,” Suzie said. Then continued with trepidation, “Unless you want to do something together, you could paint too.”
“Nah, that’s not my thing. Dad and I are going to go out on the lake, maybe the last time before it freezes. Give you some time to get creative. We will have our time tonight,” Jared said as they walked hand in hand back to the cabin. But there was an uncertainty between them.
Lunch was, fortunately for Suzie, brief and they all went their separate ways. Suzie sat quietly on the deck swing for a while before making her way to the painting studio. Helen had gone ahead of her and Suzie dragged herself over there, though the mood to paint had left. She was tired and wanted a nap. Her mind was jumping from one thing to the next and she hardly felt like she knew who she was. Suzie shook her head and opened the door.
The first thing she saw when she stepped inside was Jeff’s painting. He had added to it. When had he come here to paint, she wondered. The immense canvas was beginning to be covered in color, and although abstract it had a raw emotion to it and Suzie felt tears well in her eyes. She turned to see Helen looking at her with concern.
“Are you okay?” she asked and she put down her brush.
The sincerity of her words helped Suzie’s tears fall and she cried. Fighting her tears and scolding herself for making a fuss in front of Jared’s mom, Suzie faked a smile. Helen brought over a cup of coffee and patted Suzie’s arm, waiting for her to say something.
“Yeah. Sorry. I am fine.” Suzie wiped her eyes and took a backwards glance at Jeff’s painting. Its effects were staggering.
“It is an amazing piece,” Helen said, looking in the same direction. “I keep telling Jeff he needs to show off his work, he has real talent. But he doesn’t listen to anybody. Thinks it makes him less manly or something. It is infuriating to see him hide his talent.”
“Why don’t you share them for him?” Suzie asked.
“Oh, I couldn’t do it without telling him. Honesty is the base of a strong relationship so I don’t lie to my boys.” She smiled fondly.
Despair clouded Suzie again and she blinked it away, sipping her coffee in silence. Helen went back to her painting and gestured towards Suzie. “Come on over and paint,” she said. “It will help you forget about whatever is bothering you.”
Suzie agreed and picked up the paintbrush. She took a breath and tried to focus on the canvas in front of her. She needed to add some color but her heart was not in it. She was indecisive and just pushed the color around. Helen looked at her with concern and said nothing. After some time, she cleaned up and excused herself saying she was not feeling well and needed to lie down. Suzie relaxed a little after Helen left and was beginning to enjoy painting for a while. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on nothing but the paint. Then she heard a noise from what must be the loft of the studio. She stood in place listening.
A minute later, Jeff emerged shirtless as always, dark eyes dead se
t on her. Suzie gasped in surprise. Had he been up there the whole time? What was he doing here? Time seemed to slow as Jeff stepped closer and closer to her. Finally reaching her, he stopped. The anticipation was building and they could feel their mutual desire creating tension between them. Jeff reached out and wiped her eyes.
She needed him and pressed into his caress, begging him to come and claim her as his own. His arms wrapped around her and he picked her up off the floor. Their lips met, finding release to their panicked desire. Then he set her down and held her at arm’s length.
“We can’t keep doing this,” he groaned.
“What are you doing here?” she asked, neither of them moving.
“You inspired me to paint. I needed to clear my head so I came here, thought it would be just me and Mom and Dad,” he said.
“Well how come we haven’t seen you? Where is your car?” Suzie felt confused.
“I did not want anyone to know I was here to paint so I told Mom and Dad that I would hang in the studio while you were here. We figured you guys were here to spend time together anyway,” Jeff said.
At that, tears welled up in Suzie’s eyes again as she thought about what he said. She turned to leave, sadly wanting to end the whole charade, feeling lost. Jeff grabbed her arm and wouldn’t let go. She tried to pull away, her face crunching in anger. He held tighter and pulled her to his chest. His strong naked chest felt cool against her cheek. Her tears ran down his stomach and she traced them as he held her.
They stood that way for a long time. Jeff with his arms wrapped around Suzie, who was caressing his chest and stomach. He started to breathe heavier and was holding her still unmoving. Suzie’s tears dried and she was breathing him in more heavily, her desire once again clouding her judgement. Oh when he was shirtless he could make her forget about everything except his muscles that rippled down to his belt buckle. Reaching up she stroked his gruff beard and kissed him gently on the neck.
