by Mia Ford
Feeling desperate to touch him one last time she kissed him harder and pulled his face to her. At the same time, he picked her up with a moan and her breasts landed right in front of his face. Laughing, Suzie pulled off her shirt and bra and wiggled in his arms. Her breasts bounced up and down in front of his face and he dropped his mouth open in a long moan. He used his bearded face to rub her breasts, teasing her nipples erect. She moaned and thrust her hips into him. Looking around the cluttered room wide eyed, Jeff made a quick decision. He shifted his weight and threw her up over his shoulder, slapping her bum and striding to the back of the room and up a concealed staircase. Suzie shrieked and clawed at his back.
In the loft, there was a small living space with a desk, and some shelving. This was where Jeff had obviously been staying and it was cozy with a skylight to the forest outside. Jeff set her down onto a futon that had been converted to a bed and he stood above her, looking her up and down.
“You shouldn’t have come here today. That was a very bad idea,” he growled.
“Yes, it was. Very bad,” Suzie said and then pouted.
Jeff crawled toward her, pulling her pants off as he went, kissing every inch of her with wide, needing eyes. When he got to her ear he whispered, “I need to paint you.”
“Now?” Suzie giggled and writhed beneath him.
“No,” he said forcefully and pressed into her. Fumbling with his belt he covered her mouth with his so she wouldn’t say anything else. She laughed as he struggled and pushed his hands away, fiddling to get his belt off herself. Her breasts rubbed against him and he fondled them, moving his mouth to each one while Suzie undid his pants and pulled them down. Pushing her back into the bed he removed his pants fully and returned his attention to her. He rubbed his hands up her inner legs spreading them and his whole body followed.
She moaned, “Oh Jeff” as he slid into her and he covered her mouth with his hand. She bit him and he growled in surprise, leaning over and biting her lip and then pressing his lips to hers. Their tongues met and matched the rhythm of their bodies as they touched each other with longing. Clawing at him, to bring him closer, she clenched her legs around him as intense waves of pleasure rocked her body. She fell back into the bed and he crawled up behind her. Cradling her into him, he reached around and fondled her, touching every part of her body with his precise hands, making her call out in a moan again even as he was building to his own release. They stayed there, bodies naked and entangled, breathing heavily.
Neither of them wanted to say anything because things needed to be said, things that had been avoided for too long. Suzie turned to look at him and saw he was staring at her body. She kissed his full lips much more gently now though she felt inside a burning passion that she could easily get started on round two right away. The way he was looking at her was driving her crazy. But reality was niggling at her and once again she was torn. She touched his chest and looked him in the eye.
“What are we going to do?” she asked.
“We already did it.” He winked as he spoke. Jeff rolled away and got up, pulling on his pants.
Suzie opened her mouth to speak again but Jeff shushed her and strode to the window. “Get under the blanket,” he said as he heard the door open. Suzie hid under the blanket, her heart pounding.
From down below, steps could be heard and then, “Hello.” It was Helen. Suzie hoped Jeff had a plan.
“Hi Mom.” Jeff came down the stairs towards her.
“Oh hi Jeff. I thought you were gone. Where is Suzie?” she asked.
“I dunno,” he replied.
“She didn’t paint much. Was she here when you got back?” she asked.
“No,” Jeff said quickly.
“Oh she must have gone for a walk,” his mom said. “Are you going to tell me who inspired that painting? She is gorgeous. It is not that Cindy girl you brought here was it? I did not see the passion you have for this one. Is she…”
“Stop,” Jeff said, cutting her off in anger. “There is no inspiration it is just a painting. I thought we agreed not to talk about it.”
“My poor boy. I am your mom. I know there is a person who inspired that painting whether you will admit it or not; your paintings are always amazing but this one shows love.” She smiled at him.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jeff grumbled.
“Well I have to go find Suzie. But we will talk more about this,” she said and then patted him on the arm and left.
Jeff spotted Suzie’s shirt and bra lying on the floor where he had thrown it. Had his mom noticed? He picked it up and took the stairs two at a time then tossed it to Suzie. “You better get going.”
“Yeah,” was all she replied. He stared at her silently as she got dressed then guided her out to a hidden deck surrounded by thick brush. He pulled her in for one more passionate kiss and then led her through a secret path that led to one of the paths she had walked earlier.
“Go that way,” he pointed, “and you will get back to the cabin.” Then he slipped back into hiding in the trees.
Suzie walked a few steps in the direction he had gestured and then turned to look. Jeff was gone. A few steps further was a bench and Suzie sat down. She could not see if Jeff was still watching, but from the forest he could see her clearly and he studied her while she thought she was alone. Suzie hung her head and rubbed her temples with her palms. Then she stretched out and sat elongated in pensive thought. She felt on the edge of two worlds. It fascinated her that Jeff had been in the studio this afternoon, that no matter how hard she tried she could not get away from him, from his smell, from his touch. She moaned thinking about the things he did to her. No man had made her feel like that and here, alone in the forest she relished the feeling. The way he touched her was rough needing and pushy. She moaned again and let her hand wander under her pants, feeling her wetness. She rubbed herself, thinking about Jeff wanting to paint her, seeing his look when she was naked in front of him. If only they had enough time to rid themselves of their passion for each other. Maybe it was a temporary thing that just needed to be rubbed out. Suzie moaned again still touching herself, her hand a terrible replacement for Jeff. She cried out in frustration and pulled at her clothes. Jeff, still watching from the trees trembled with excitement and arousal seeing her move her hands up her body and wishing they were his. She stopped at her breasts and fondled them herself, licking her lips. She wiggled in her seat, eyes closed and remembering. Jeff was holding himself back, bulging out of his pants wanting to go to her and take her right there on the bench.
Both of them snapped to attention when they heard voices on the path; it was Jared and Helen. Suzie sat up and smoothed out her clothes, shaking her head at her own lust. Jeff, feeling angry at whoever was walking towards them, got angrier still when he saw Jared walking up the path. How could Suzie be Jared’s when she was so clearly better off with Jeff? How could Suzie not see it? Jeff wondered.
Jared ran up to Suzie for an embrace and Jeff slipped away before he had to witness it. He wasn’t quiet; his anger caused him to stomp through the forest back to the studio. The three on the path stopped when they heard him and Suzie looked in surprise at the hidden entry way, had Jeff been watching her? Helen suggested it was a deer or other large animal and they went back to the cabin for supper.
Back at the cabin Jared was animated, talking about his afternoon on the lake. They had caught fish and his dad was making fish and chips. Fortunately, Suzie could smile and let him carry on the conversation with excitement. They were all surprised when Jeff joined them for supper.
“What are you doing here?” Jared asked. “I thought you went home.”
“Yeah, I came here instead,” Jeff said, offering no further explanation.
“When did you get here? Where you been hiding? You missed an epic boat ride,” Jared said.
“I am here now, stop the interrogation,” Jeff said with irritation.
“Wow, someone needs to get laid,” Jared joked.
“What the fuck do you know?” Jeff said and stormed into the kitchen. Helen followed while his dad chided his language and sipped his beer.
Jared joked and Suzie pretended to laugh but she was shocked. It was hard to see them together especially when she knew she would have to tell Jared. But what. Maybe she could leave Jeff out of it all together. She did not like to hear them fight and she knew she was the cause of their stress even if Jared did not. After a while, Jeff returned with his mom at his side. He mumbled a sorry to Jared and sat down. Jared passed him a beer and told him to chill out. Jeff scowled and said nothing.
As supper progressed Suzie’s tension rose. She tried to be polite as Jeff, Jared and their parents carried on, what must be typical family conversation. Smiling she answered questions and politely declined more food. She felt sick. What kind of sick person could play both brothers like that? She had come here to clear her head and forget about Jeff, how the hell did he always turn up to tantalize her. After supper was over she excused herself and went and sat in the deck swing. Rocking, she watched from a distance as Helen tried to persuade Jeff to talk about his painting. He stopped her before she could speak and spoke with Jared about coming back to his place so he could finish the job. Jared made a joke about having to share everything with Jeff and Jeff did not laugh. Instead he pushed away from the table and said he would find somewhere else to stay if sharing was such a problem. Jared got defensive, tired of placating Jeff.
“What is your problem? What are you so angry about? Why does everything have to be a competition with you?” he asked, getting in his brother’s face.
“Back off pretty boy. You and your perfect life. Life is a competition, there is not enough meat to go round,” Jeff said pushing into Jared.
“Evading questions as usual. Since when have you started hiding stuff from me? We are twins remember? We used to be able to read each other’s minds,” Jared said, backing off a little.
“So read my mind now.” He looked right in his brother’s eyes and waited. “Yeah, that is little kid stuff, we are men now and all bets are off.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? We are still brothers. And since when have you ever wanted anything I have?” Jared asked, sounding angry again.
“Since…since,” Jeff began but Suzie cut him off. She had heard enough.
“Hey,” she said, touching Jared’s arm. “Let’s go for a walk.”
Both brothers stopped and looked at her. While Jared leaned down to kiss her cheek and agree, she saw Jeff’s eyes, hungry, angry, wanting. She bit her lip and turned and walked away with Jared. Silently they walked hand in hand down the path to the spot where Jared had taken her previously, their special spot. She felt sick again but knew she had to put an end to this, or at least try. The problem was she had no idea what to say. When they reached the spot, they sat down. Jared spoke for a while about his brother and how he was worried something was going on with Jeff. Suzie let him speak, not giving any feedback and then they sat quietly for a time.
“I have something I have to tell you,” Suzie started.
“I thought you wanted to wait until the drive home,” Jared said.
“Maybe I should, but it cannot wait anymore. I don’t want to lie to you,” Suzie said.
“Ok, go for it,” Jared said, sounding nervous.
“I don’t know how,” Suzie said. When Jared did not move, she put her hand on his and took a breath. “First, I am sorry things seem strange between us. I never meant for any of this to happen.”
“Any of what to happen?” Jared asked, getting agitated. Suzie started mumbling again and Jared stopped her. “Just say it.”
“Ok. I met someone. It wasn’t intentional, but something happened and I didn’t know how to tell you because I still want you,” Suzie said, knowing it had only just begun.
Jared pulled his hand away and turned to look at her. “What do you mean you met someone? What happened? What aren’t you telling me?”
“He kind of surprised me. It wasn’t planned. But when he kissed me, I let him and then I kissed him and I am sorry,” Suzie said, praying the questions would stop.
“WHAT! WHEN? It was the night of the fire wasn’t it? And did you see him again after that?” Jared stood up and faced her, his face hurt and confused.
“Yes,” Suzie said softly.
“K, I don’t want to know anymore,” Jared said sadly.
“I’m sorry,” Suzie said. “Can we start over?”
“Do you want to, or do you want the other guy?” Jared asked. Then said, “Never mind I don’t want you to answer that question.”
“I am here,” Suzie said and wrapped her arms around him trying to shelter him from more hurt.
“Okay,” he said and let her hug him but did not return the hug. “Do you think you could find your way back yourself? I would like to be alone for a while.”
Suzie nodded and kissed him on the cheek. She walked back to the cabin slowly, unsure what to do. She felt sad and elated at the same time. Sure she had hurt Jared but not as much as if he found out the whole truth and now he wouldn’t have to. Jared would either decide to start over with her or be done but either way it would be on his terms, not by being betrayed by his brother. Jeff, she had momentarily forgotten about him. He had been so upset at supper; she should go and tell him what she had told Jared so that he would not spoil her story. Picking up the pace she decided to stop at the studio and talk with him before Jared came back.
Knocking on the door of the studio it was dark and Suzie was worried Jeff had left. No one answered the door so she stepped inside, calling out into the darkness. Jeff turned a light on and she could see him, wearing nothing but jeans as usual. He was painting, in the dark apparently and it was a new canvas, this one dark with anger. It spoke of passion and heartbreak and pain and his feverish painting of it showed in his paint covered hands and arms. Still saying nothing he went to the sink to wash them.
“Does Jared know you are here?” he asked.
“No,” she replied. “He asked to be alone.”
“You told him about us?” Jeff asked.
“No, but I told him I met someone else,” Suzie said.
“Just met?” Jeff said with emphasis on what she didn’t say.
“And kissed,” Suzie said, unsure why she was blushing.
“That is it. We just kissed?” Jeff laughed and moved closer to her.
“Not us. Don’t you see? Now he doesn’t have to know about you. Now, he can decide what happens without feeling betrayed. Isn’t that great?” Suzie said with a smile.
“How is that great? You didn’t tell him the truth. The truth is you want me,” Jeff said and he stepped right up to her enveloping her in a kiss. She pushed him to let go but he deepened the kiss and touched her where he knew he could get her attention. She moaned and wrapped her arms around him with passion.
A gasp was heard behind them and they pulled apart. Jeff stood still and stared as Suzie whirled around to see Jared looking at them. “YOU! You’re the other guy?”
“I thought you wanted to share?” Jeff made a bad attempt at a joke. It infuriated Jared and he stormed towards them. Suzie put her hands out towards him.
“Jared, wait. I can explain,” she pleaded. He looked at her and stopped like he was ready to listen. Then quick as a flash, he spun and punched Jeff in the face. Recoiling, he moved to punch Jeff again though this time Jeff blocked him.
“The first one, I earned. Now stop or I am fighting back,” Jeff said calmly.
“Fuck you. Your filthy hands were on my girlfriend. What is wrong with you? Of all the girls you could pick, it had to be her? Why?” Jared asked fists still clenched.
“It just kind of happened. You were gone. You asked me to take care of her.” At this comment, Jared swung again and Jeff blocked the punch again. Infuriated, Jared attacked Jeff and they grappled for a while, bumping into things in the tight studio space. “We’re not doing this in Mom’s studio. You want to figh
t, let’s take it outside.”
“Fine, but I am going to kick your ass,” Jared said storming out the door, ignoring Suzie.
“Not likely, pretty boy,” Jeff laughed.
Suzie followed urging them to stop, not knowing what to do. Outside, fists were flying as both brothers landed punches, grappled and wrestled each other. Their loud shouts of anger and fighting brought over their mom and dad who shouted at them to stop. Finally their dad had to step in separating the two of them and pushing Jared who refused to let it go. Jeff stood at the ready staring his brother down as Jared tried to get past his dad.
“Cool it both of you or I am getting the hose,” Helen said. “Talk to Dad about it and don’t come to the house until you can be civil.” Then she guided Suzie up to the cabin.
They sat on the deck and Helen brought Suzie a hot drink (spiked with rum) and sat down beside her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No,” Suzie said. “You’ll think I am horrible.”
“Not likely. In fact it has happened before,” Helen said, her voice calm and steady.
“What?”
“Yep, the oldest boys had a very similar fight over Melissa.” Helen said with a laugh. “Boys will be boys.”
“Jason’s wife?” Suzie asked.
“Yes, she dated Jeremy first.” Helen told Suzie who asked how that worked out. Helen spoke of soul mates and said that she knew all her boys would find who they were meant to be with. She then explained that she had guessed the truth from Jeff’s behavior and painting and had already discussed it with him. “It will all work out dear.”
Suzie was uncertain but was relieved she did not have to lie anymore. Helen encouraged her to be honest about her feelings but Suzie did not know if she could. She knew how to be with Jared and it matched her job and life, it fit. But Jeff, he made her feel things she thought were fiction. She desired him and felt breathless thinking about not being with him. There were no easy answers.
After what seemed like forever Jared walked up the yard toward her. He sat down across from her and did not look at her or touch her. “I should have seen it. But I was too busy trying to make you who I wanted you to be. I see now you and I will not work out. We want different things. So let’s try to be friends okay?”
