The Berenstain Bear Scouts and the Run-Amuck Robot

by Stan

  “Go see for yourselves,” said Actual Factual.

  The scouts fanned out through the museum. They were discouraged by what they found.

  “It’s even worse than the professor said,” said Brother when they reported back to Lady Grizzly. “Not only does the place need a top-to-bottom cleaning, but some of the exhibits are missing.”

  “Exhibits missing?” said Lady Grizzly.

  “Yes—the tesla coil, for one,” said Fred. “That’s the big machine that makes lightning.”

  “And the static electricity machine, too,” said Sister.

  “That’s the one that makes your fur stand on end,” said Lizzy.

  “Hmm. Things are worse than I ex­pected,” said Lady Grizzly. “And I’m really worried about the professor.”

  “Me too,” said Sister. “He’s beginning to look like one of those mad scientists you see in spooky movies.”

  “Nevertheless,” said Lady Grizzly, “I think we should stay with our plan. We just have to beef it up. Here’s what we’ll do. I’ll go back to the mansion and pick up some of my household staff. I’ll donate them to the Bearsonian for as long as it takes to clean up the place. Here’s what I want you to do: Find out what the professor’s up to. Find out about this secret in­vention of his.”

  “You mean you want us to spy on our good friend Professor Actual Factual, who trusts us,” said Brother.

  “Exactly,” said Lady Grizzly.

  “We’ll do it,” said Brother.

  • Chapter 7 •

  Gus’s Trail

  Lady Grizzly’s part of the plan was working out well. After only a couple of days, her staff had the Bearsonian looking almost like a museum again.

  But the Bear Scouts were having no success in finding out what the professor was up to. They thought they knew the Bearsonian pretty well. But the professor was nowhere to be found. He had dropped completely out of sight. The scouts looked in every nook. They searched in every cranny.

  “He must be working on that invention someplace in the museum,” said Brother.

  “Yes,” said Fred. “In some secret place that only he knows about.”

  “Wait,” said Sister. “Change that to someplace that only he and Gus know about.”

  “Hey, that’s right!” said Fred. “Gus has got to know. He was the one who said, ‘It’s time to prepare for the tests’ when we were in that spooky little room. Then he went down some steps.”

  “Do you think we can find that little room?” said Sister.

  “I h-h-hope not,” said Lizzy.

  • Chapter 8 •

  Into the Bowels of the Bearsonian

  It didn’t take the scouts long to find the spooky basement room. But it took them quite a while to get up enough nerve to go down the stairs. The fact that they were winding stairs didn’t help. The scouts were huddled at the top of the stairs, trying to look down. But it’s just as hard to look down a winding staircase as it is to describe one without moving your hands.

  “I’m scared,” said Lizzy.

  “Why should you be different from the rest of us?” said Brother.

  “How do we know the professor is down there?” asked Fred.

  “We don’t,” said Sister. “But we know something’s down there because that’s where Gus went when he said the tests were ready.”

  “Look, gang,” said Brother. “I know it’s scary. But we’ve got to go down there. The professor’s done a lot for us. If he’s going over the edge, it’s up to us to save him from himself.”

  So, with Brother leading the way, the Bear Scouts started their descent into the bowels of the Bearsonian. Down, down they went. The stairway was dark and narrow. Its stone walls were rough and damp.

  “You know something?” said Fred. “I’ve read up on the Bearsonian. It wasn’t built all at once. I bet this part was the oldest …”

  “Later, Fred,” said Brother.

  As the stairs wound down, it got darker and darker. But now there was a flickering light and a crackling sound—and a strange smell.

  “What’s that funny smell?” said Lizzy. “It’s kind of familiar.”

  “It’s ozone,” said Fred. “It’s that smell you get before a storm. It comes from lightning.”

  The light, the sound, and the smell were getting stronger when suddenly the stairway opened onto a vast dungeonlike room.

  What the scouts saw below was so far beyond the wildest mad scientist scene they could ever have imagined that all the Bear Scouts could do was stare in silent shock.

  • Chapter 9 •

  The Body Beneath the Cloth

  What the scouts saw down below was a great underground room bathed in a bloodred glow. The stairs went down to a stone floor. But the terrified scouts huddled on a ledge that curved around the scene below like a crude balcony.

  The shaken scouts inched their way along the ledge and tried to make sense of what they were seeing. The red glow came from a row of lights spaced along the top of a control board that curved around the back wall of the cavernous room. The flashing and the crackling came from a huge coil that stood behind the professor and Gus.

  Good grief! It was the missing tesla coil! How did it get down here? They must have taken it apart and brought it down piece by piece.

  Oh, yes. The professor and Gus were there, though it was difficult to recognize them in their leather aprons and dark goggles. And there was the missing static electricity machine, too.

  But it was the thing that stood before the professor that burned itself into the brains of the terrified Bear Scouts. It was a high table. On it was a body beneath a heavy cloth.

  “Look!” hissed Fred.

  “I see! I see!” hissed Brother in return.

  “What’s that clicking noise?” whispered Sister.

  “It’s—it’s—it’s my t-t-teeth chatter­ing,” said Lizzy.

  The professor turned a dial. The crackling got louder. The huge coil began to glow.

  “It’s just like that old book,” said Fred. “The one about Dr. Frankenbear.”

  “Not now, Fred,” said Brother.

  “You know,” said Fred, “he was the one who wanted to create life. He tried to make a person out of parts of dead bears.”

  “Please, Fred,” said Sister.

  “Only it turned out to be a monster with a bolt through its neck,” said Fred.

  “We know, we know,” said Lizzy.

  “And he did it with electricity!” said Fred.

  The crackling sound was now continuous. The coil glowed red. The stench of ozone filled the air. Gus had begun cranking the handle of the static electricity machine. Now he was cranking it faster and faster. The scouts could feel the electricity in their fur.

  The professor gave the big dial another turn. A pale blue tongue of electricity reached out of the glowing coil. Then another turn, and the blue tongue ZAPPED the body beneath the cloth!

  Nothing happened. The body beneath the cloth lay perfectly still.

  “Thank goodness!” whispered Brother. “Whatever he was trying to do, it didn’t work. Come on. Let’s get out of here while the getting’s good.”

  The scouts began inching back along the ledge. They simply had to escape from this awful place. But there was some kind of ruckus going on down below. Gus and the professor were arguing. Actual Factual was reaching for the master switch. Gus was trying to stop him.

  “No, professor! No!” cried Gus. “You’ll fry us all!”

  But the professor wouldn’t be stopped. He reached up and threw the master switch!

  The room went white with a blinding light. Jagged bolts of lightning split the air. ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

  And there before the Bear Scouts’ very eyes, the body beneath the cloth sat up.

  • Chapter 10 •

  “Come on Down!”

  As amazed as the scouts were by what they’d just seen, they were even more startled by what happened next.

  Professor Actual Factual and Gus tore off their
aprons and goggles, grasped each other’s hands, and danced wildly around the room, hooting and hollering at the top of their lungs.

  With his head thrown back, the professor saw the Bear Scouts staring down from the ledge. “Well, bless me if it isn’t my friends the Bear Scouts!” he cried. “Delighted to see you! Come on down! I’d like you to meet someone!” With that, he lifted the heavy cloth and put his arm around the shoulders of his latest invention.

  Dr. Frankenbear’s monster may have had a bolt through its neck. But Professor Actual Factual’s monster was all bolts—nuts and bolts, that is. Nuts, bolts, gears, wires, batteries, computer chips, steel tubing—everything, as the saying goes, but the kitchen sink. And, perhaps, even some sink parts as well. In other words, Actual Factual’s monster wasn’t a monster at all. It was a robot—a grinning, lightbulb-eyed, nuts-and-bolts robot.

  He was rather bear-shaped in a robotic sort of way, with a squarish head, a tubular muzzle, a great metallic chest, jutting hips, swivel-jointed arms and legs, and clawlike hands and feet.

  “Scouts,” said the professor, “I’d like you to meet Robow.”

  “Robow?” said the scouts.

  “Yes. It’s short for ‘robot-of-all-work,’” explained the professor.

  “Are you saying that Robow can do all different kinds of work?” said Brother.

  “That’s what I’m saying,” said the pro­fessor.

  “But how can that be?” asked Fred.

  “As you can guess,” said Actual Factual, “that’s a very complicated question. For the time being, let me say that Robow con­tains more information than the entire contents of the Bear Country Library. He is voice-activated and will respond to any instruction that matches his program. Let me show you.

  “Robow,” said Actual Factual, “shake hands with and say hello to my friends the Bear Scouts. Be gentle now. This is Scout Brother.”

  “Hel-lo, Scout Bro-ther,” said Robow as he reached down and shook hands with Brother.

  “Hello, Robow,” said Brother.

  As Actual Factual went down the line and introduced the scouts by name, Robow greeted and shook hands with each scout. As you can guess, the Bear Scouts were really impressed.

  “That was very good, Robow,” said the professor. “You showed my friends how gentle you can be.” Actual Factual picked up a chunk of rock that had broken off the wall. “Now show them how strong you are. Robow, crush this rock.”

  He placed the rock in Robow’s clawlike hand. Robow gripped the rock, then squeezed. It crumbled like a cookie.

  “Wow!” said Brother.

  “Amazing!” said Fred.

  “Awesome!” said Lizzy.

  “What’s next for Robow?” asked Sister. “What are your plans?”

  “Plans are something I have to think about,” said the professor. “But what’s next is getting Robow up these winding steps.”

  It turned out to be easier said than done. When the professor said, “Robow, climb stairs,” Robow climbed all right, but he climbed straight ahead.

  “No problem,” said the professor. “Robow’s going to have some gaps and glitches. The fact is, we forgot to program Robow for winding stairs.”

  The professor and Gus got Robow up the winding staircase, but it took some do­ing. They managed by saying, “Robow, climb one step and turn right seven degrees,” then repeating the instruction over and over. By the time they reached the top, Robow’s eyes had begun to flash red.

  “Why are Robow’s eyes flashing?” asked Lizzy.

  “It’s just a minor overheating problem,” said Actual Factual. “Nothing to worry about.”

  But the problem Robow had with the winding staircase was just a small hint of the trouble that lay ahead.

  • Chapter 11 •

  “Professor! Professor! Come Quick!”

  Professor Actual Factual was the first to admit that Robow needed work. “But that’s to be expected,” said the professor. “Most great inventions need work. Thomas Grizzly Edison’s first lightbulb blew out after only four minutes. Wilbear and Orville Wright’s first airplane flew only one hundred twenty feet. BASA’s first moon shot fizzled and splashed into Lake Grizzly.”

  “Nevertheless,” said Lady Grizzly, “I wish to propose a toast. To Professor Actual Factual and his latest and greatest invention. Robow, robot-of-all-work!”

  The scouts, the professor, and Lady Grizzly, who were having a juice break in Actual Factual’s office, touched paper cups.

  They were putting the finishing touches on a plan to present Robow to the world—or, at least, to the leading citizens of Bear Country. The plan included an invitation-only party that would take place the next afternoon in the Bearson­ian’s grand hall and a press conference that would happen on the museum’s front steps. The professor also sent out the fol­lowing press release:

  * * *

  FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

  The Bearsonian Institution Professor Actual Factual, Director Professor Actual Factual announced today the invention of Robow. Robow is an electrically supercharged, voice-activated robot-of-all-work. Robow is capable of doing any kind of job, from the simplest to the most complex. It is Professor Actual Factual’s belief that Robow will change the nature of work in our time and, in doing so, be a great boon to bearkind.

  END OF RELEASE

  * * *

  Meanwhile, Robow was out in the museum, helping Lady Grizzly’s staff finish up the big cleanup. Robow had been programmed to answer only to Professor Actual Factual’s voiceprint. But there was so much to do that Gus’s voiceprint was added to Robow’s program. Vacuuming, window washing, and putting out trash were simple tasks, and Robow did them well. With careful instruction from Gus, Robow even separated the garbage, paper, and recyclable material.

  There was still a lot to be done to get ready for tomorrow. The professor was making notes for the press conference, Lady Grizzly was making a last check of the guest list, and the scouts were printing out their junior docent badges on the office computer. It was beginning to look as if it was all going to work when Opera­tion Robow hit an enormous speed bump.

  The office door burst open, and Gus rushed in. “Professor! Professor! Come quick!” he cried. “Robow is running amuck in the Hall of Dinosaurs!”

  Actual Factual, Lady Grizzly, and the Bear Scouts were out the door faster than you can say, “Tyrannosaurus rex.”

  • Chapter 12 •

  Robow Mops Up

  The Hall of Dinosaurs was at the far end of the museum. What Actual Factual and the others saw when they got there took what was left of their breath away.

  Robow was in an attack crouch. His lightbulb eyes were flashing red. He was holding a dinosaur bone as if it were a club. Greeves, Lady Grizzly’s butler, and Millie, her maid, were atop the T-rex skeleton. Other members of her staff had gotten out of harm’s way by climbing into the Brontosaurus skeleton’s ribcage.

  Robow saw the professor and the oth­ers. He came toward them, his eyes flashing red and his club at the ready.

  “Robow, stop!” said the professor.

  That’s all it took. The emergency was over. Robow stopped in his tracks. His eyes stopped flashing. The dinosaur bone fell to the floor. All those present breathed a sigh of relief. Greeves, Millie, and the others climbed down from their perches.

  “All right, Gus,” said the professor. “Tell me, what went wrong?”

  “That’s the trouble,” said Gus. “Nothing went wrong. Robow was doing beautifully. I handed him a broom and said, ‘Robow, sweep,’ and he swept. When the job was done, I said, ‘Robow, stop,’ and he stopped.”

  “And then?” said the professor, listening carefully for a clue to what went wrong.

  “Then I wrapped a dust cloth around the mop,” continued Gus. “I handed it to Robow and said, ‘Robow, remove spider-webs.’ He did a beautiful job. He removed every web. Then I said, ‘Robow, stop,’ and he stopped.”

  “Yes, and then?” said the professor.

 
; “Then I took the cloth off the mop and said, ‘Robow, mop up.’ That’s when his eyes started flashing and he came after us with the dinosaur bone. I yelled, ‘Robow, stop! Robow, stop!’ But it didn’t do any good. He just went crazy.”

  The professor thought for a long mo­ment. Then he said, “Robow didn’t go crazy. He just chose the wrong definition.”

  “Wrong definition?” said Lady Grizzly. There was puzzlement all around.

  “That’s right,” said the professor. “Fred, how many definitions are there under ‘mop’?”

  “Seven,” said Fred.

  “Within that number, are there any under ‘mop up’?” asked the professor.

  “Two,” said Fred. “Mop up: to clean an area using a mop. Also mop up (military): to rid the field of battle of the enemy after a battle.”

  “Hmm,” said the professor.

  “Hmm what?” said Brother.

  “I told you Robow needed work,” said the professor.

  Later on, Actual Factual and the scouts were in the professor’s office, looking back over the events of the day and thinking about the big doings tomorrow. Actual Factual looked worried. So did the scouts.

  “Professor,” said Brother, “do you think Robow is ready for prime time? Suppose he runs amuck tomorrow when all the big shots are here.”

  “Robow did not run amuck,” said the professor. “He simply chose the wrong definition. He’s bound to misunderstand from time to time—especially under stress. No, there’s a much more serious problem: Robow didn’t stop when ordered to.”