Tic Tac Love

by A. M. Willard

  My mother smiles as she nods her understanding. The rest of the day goes by with laughter, food, friends, and family. The only thing missing was Paxton and my sister.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Paxton

  Somewhere in Scotland on a tour of the top ten castles, I enter a small café. When Howard explained the trip to Julie and myself, I thought all the castles were going to be close by. Funny thing he leads me to believe. I’m pretty sure that when I return home, I’m going to have to grovel my way back to Belle. She’s avoiding phone calls; at least that’s the way it seems. Julie’s having a blast learning the ropes and keeping things from me. I know she’s been in contact with her sister, she’s just not elaborating on the conversations. I know why I’m getting the cold shoulder. I’m not stupid to realize that I once again put work before her. In this situation, I honestly didn’t have a choice. All I can do is pick up the pace and finish before our baby’s born. Connecting to the Wi-Fi, I open my email to message Belle.

  * * *

  SUBJECT: Missing You!

  Belle,

  I know we’ve been gone longer than expected, but I promise I’m working the crew around the clock to get this done and back home to you. I tried to call you at the office, but got your voicemail. Thought I’d email while I had a moment alone. Depending on where we are, the cell service is spotty. You’re welcome to call as I miss the sound of your voice. We’ve managed to knock out four of the ten castles here in Scotland—six more to go. Okay, I know you can count. Just trying to lighten up the mood. How are you feeling? How’s the baby? I can’t wait to see all the things you’ve gotten. I did find the cutest outfit while wandering around in town today after we left the Balmoral Castle. You’ll have to wait until I get back, so no asking for pictures. Julie mentioned that the doctor wants you to start taking it easy now. If you need to, get Jace to come over and stay until I get back. Better yet, I’ll contact him. I don’t want you lifting anything or moving, for that matter.

  Alright, I gotta run. I miss you, Belle, and I love you.

  I’ll be home soon, I promise.

  Love always,

  X

  * * *

  Before leaving, I send one other email… It might be more important than the one I just sent Belle. Jace’s message is short and sweet. To the point as we don’t usually communicate this way. Hell, I’m not a hundred percent sure that he checks his incoming mail daily. After hitting send, I check my phone quickly and notice I have three bars. Afraid to move it, I slide it open and tap the screen as it lies on the dingy table.

  ME: Hi, Brooke. Just checking in and to see how things are. Have you checked on Belle?

  She responds back immediately.

  Brooke: Hi, butthead! That’s what Belle is calling you this week, so that’s better than before. Yes, I had lunch with her today. She’s grumpy as HELL! I blame you for the misery we’re going through. Please for the love of all things—HURRY THE HELL HOME! We might disown her before then. Be safe.

  ME: Trust me, I’m trying. I know she’s still upset with me. We have one more Belle stage to get through before the sulking starts. Prepare for stage three… You remember! Get the brownies and ice cream ready.

  Brooke: Already stocked up for the emotional eating. I totally have this under control.

  ME: See ya soon.

  Brooke: Later, Paxton.

  I take a few extra minutes to check the map for our next few locations. Seems that I pay more attention now to where the closest airport is than I ever have in the past. Next course, the west coast of Scotland to Inverary Castle.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Annabelle

  I’m not avoiding Paxton so to speak. Okay, maybe a little. I can’t help the fact that I’m missing him. Which makes it worse when I hear his voice on the other end of the phone. I understand that work is work and when you have to go on assignment, you go. In my head, I thought he was done with the travel. In my heart, I always knew that this would be the case. No matter how many people Howard has, Paxton will forever be his go-to guy. He’s the best at what he does. I don’t blame them for sending him, and honestly, I don’t blame Paxton. My current mood has me missing him more than I have ever. My emotional thermometer has a wide range of temperatures. One second I’m below normal while the next I’m burning up hot.

  Since the shower, I’ve done nothing but wash baby clothes, fold them, put them away to end up moving everything again. My mother explained that I’m doing what they call “nesting.” I shrug it off and call it boredom. Sitting in the middle of the nursery, my phone rings. I notice it’s not Paxton again, but my sister.

  “Hello, world traveling sister.”

  “Hi! How are you? How’s the baby?”

  “We’re both fine. What’cha doing?”

  “Waiting for your man to move his ass, what about you?”

  “Folding baby clothes while I figure out how to get up from the floor.”

  “Why are you on the floor?”

  “It looked comfortable, well until I sat down and realized that I’m going to have to roll over on all fours and push myself up.”

  “I wish I could see this, I’m sure I’d video it to replay for years.”

  “That doesn’t surprise me at all. Where are you guys?”

  “Edinburgh, we’re almost done.”

  “That’s good news. Are you having fun?”

  “I am, but look, I need you to do me a favor.”

  “What’s that?” I ask as I continue to fold tiny pants.

  “When Paxton calls you today, please, for the LOVE of GOD, answer the flipping phone, sis. He is miserable, and I might push him over the next cliff we stand near.”

  I don’t say anything in return.

  “Are you still there? Shit, I think I lost you,” I hear her screaming at the phone.

  “I’m still here. Why, what’s wrong with him?”

  “Don’t play, Annabelle. You know what’s wrong with him. He needs to hear your voice; the emails aren’t working. He just needs to know you’re okay and since you swore me to not say anything, it’s making it worse.”

  “Fine, I’ll answer. How much longer do you think you guys will be?”

  “Another week, I think. We’re almost done, and Paxton’s been working us like dogs. From what the crew has told me he gets like this all the time when they are gone for too long. According to my sources, he’s a miserable man to be around. I’m starting to believe it.”

  “Sorry he’s ruining your fun, but I’m just as miserable.”

  “I know, but I promise we’re working as fast as the weather will let us.”

  “I bet it’s beautiful there,” I say, trying to change the subject as a sharp pain runs down the front of my body. I try to conceal it, but my sister’s smart.

  “What’s going on, Belle?”

  “Nothing, just what they call Braxton Hicks. They just make me uncomfortable, nothing to worry about.”

  “Lord, are you going to tell Paxton about these when he calls?”

  “No, and don’t you dare say a word, Julie.”

  “He needs to know.”

  “He needs to know nothing,” I say and feel guilty for saying it. It’s true, though. If he’s on edge already, this will only throw him off his game. That, in the end, could cause the trip to end or continue longer. Julie goes on and on about the towns they’ve been through and how I’d love it. I can’t help the jealousy that rises as I’d love to be seeing the sites with Paxton and not listening to my sister gush over it. It’s not that I’m worried that they would fall for each other. Paxton looks to Julie as a sister he never had. He’s always protected her and it just proves my point with this trip. He’s taken her under his wing, showing her everything he knows. Before we end our call, I ask, “Where’s he at now?”

  “In his room getting some rest. He blew us all off for dinner.”

  “Okay, love you, Julie, and be safe.”

  “Love you, too, sis. You going to call him?�
��

  “As soon as you hang up with me, I am,” I say and the line goes dead. Okay, I take it that I’m calling Paxton now. Instead of dialing his number right away, I roll over onto my knees and push myself up. Standing, I stretch for a moment in hopes of gaining the feeling back in my leg that went to sleep while I was on the floor. I go out to the sofa and make myself comfortable before calling. By comfortable, I mean a million pillows lined up against the cushions.

  I stare at the screen on my phone for a little longer, my finger hovering over Paxton’s name in my favorites. Right as I bring my finger down, I drop my phone as it rings and startles the hell out of me. His face covers the screen, bringing a smile to my face that we both were thinking of each other at the same moment.

  “Hello,” I say a little more eager than I probably should’ve.

  “Hi, beautiful.” Paxton’s voice comes through the phone, gutting me for avoiding him for so long.

  “You wouldn’t say that if you saw me, I’m a whale.”

  “I don’t believe you, I’ll always find you beautiful.”

  “How are you?”

  “Tired and ready to be done. How are you and the baby?”

  “Same, I think I might be done. If I was a turkey, you wouldn’t be able to baste me anymore.”

  “I’m sorry, Belle.” His words hit me. I stop and listen to the pain that comes through the line. If I was standing before him right now, his hands would be gripping the base of his neck.

  “Paxton, listen to me. It’s okay, and I know I’ve been a baby about this. I miss you, and yes, I want you all to myself. But I’ve realized that I have to share you at times even though I might not like it. Do you forgive me? I promise no more sending you to voicemail when you call.”

  “I’ll always forgive you, and I need you to know that I’d rather be with you and not in this hotel room.”

  “I’d like you with me too. You have no idea how much so.”

  “Oh, really… Care to tell me?” he asks with a hint of lust laced through his words.

  “If my body wasn’t being weird I would. If you were here and I felt well, I’d show you.”

  “Are you sick? What’s going on? I’ll jump on a plane tonight.”

  “Calm down, I’m fine. It’s nothing but false contractions. The doctor said they’re normal and nothing to worry about for now.”

  “Are you sure, Belle?”

  “I’m positive. Now, tell me about these castles?”

  I’m not sure how long I lie here propped up, listening to Paxton tell me about all the places he’s seen on this trip. I close my eyes, allowing his words to sink in. Etching them to memory as if I’ll never hear his voice again.

  “Belle, did you hear me?”

  “What, sorry, I missed it.”

  “I gotta go, but I’ll call you as soon as I can.”

  “Okay, be safe and I love you.”

  “Love you, Belle, and get some rest.”

  The call disconnects, and I lay the phone down on the mountain of a stomach that I have now. I can’t help but allow my mind to wonder where this leaves us. Where are we going from here? We’ve not talked about our plans on raising a child together. Yes, I moved him back in with me, but where do we go from that? Marriage? We’ve never spoken about that, nor expressed any hint of marrying anyone for that matter. Yes, I can see me walking down the aisle toward him as we pledge our love before each other and our friends and family. It’s a pipe dream as I call it. One I can only hope to come real. For now, we co-exist in the same apartment with a baby on the way. When Paxton comes back I need to approach this subject with him. Gracefully though as I don’t want to push him away.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Paxton

  We’ve been gone for four and a half weeks. That’s three weeks longer than I prepared for. Three additional weeks that were taken from Belle and me. Howard and I plan to talk once I get back to work this week. It’s not going to be a bad conversation. It’s more of a hey, Julie did great and can do this without me if you need someone to travel. I’m getting older and beyond burnt out on the constant moving around. Not to mention, my child could be born any day now, and that’s my first priority. I promised Belle that I wouldn’t miss this, and that’s one promise I’m not breaking. After she answered my call all those weeks ago, a day hasn’t gone by without us hearing each other’s voice or sharing our day with each other. Belle doesn’t have to tell me that she’s not feeling well, I can hear it in her voice. It’s no longer chipper or full of life. She’s worn down, tired, and uncomfortable. Many times she’s been asleep when I called. Julie reassures me that she’s okay, just very pregnant. I chastise myself daily for not being there to help her, but in a few hours that’s all going to change.

  Belle doesn’t know that we wrapped things up last night. I made Julie promise to keep her mouth shut as I wanted to surprise her sister. The rest of the crew grumbled when I explained what time we all needed to be up and out of here to get to the airport in time. Okay, I might have booked the first flight out of Scotland, and it just happened to be five in the morning. At this point, I couldn’t care less about sleep. We can sleep on the plane. I have the women of my dreams waiting for me, and some gut instinct tells me I need to get home.

  The twelve-hour flight felt like twenty-four. I hardly slept as I was too hyped up on seeing Belle again. The need to touch her, kiss her, and most importantly ask her the one questions that I need to ask. I’ve had this planned out in my head since the moment I left her. I just have to set everything up and make the leap. No longer will Belle feel second place in my life. No longer will she question our future. Our future starts now. Well, actually not now since the plane has just landed and there’s no Belle waiting for me at baggage claim. She’s also not waiting for me at home as she’s gone to lunch and shopping with the girls today.

  I power up my phone and wait for it to register. I need to text Jace to make sure the coast is still clear. Supplies need to be purchased, prepared and, if all else fails—I can get him and Brodie to stall her for me. This can’t wait another day.

  Instead of me texting Jace right away, I have several dings from texts and voicemails.

  I hit voicemail first as I notice the missed calls from Brooke.

  “Paxton, where the hell are you and why aren’t you nor Julie answering your phones? Jesus, call me back as I can’t leave this message on your voicemail.” My heart pounds against my chest as I look out at the runway. We’re still moving toward the terminal, and I need off this plane. Before I motion to Julie to check her phone, I hit the next message.

  “Paxton, it’s Brooke. Seriously, you need to call me. If I don’t answer, call Miranda or Jace.”

  Okay, now I’m freaking out.

  “Julie, check your fucking phone. Has Belle called?”

  I open my text message.

  Jace: Call us when you can. It’s important.

  Brooke: Hey, butthead, where are you? Call!!!!

  Miranda: Just call when you can, please.

  Julie’s standing above me, holding her chest as she’s bracing herself for the worst.

  “Anything?”

  “Ma’am, we’re going to need to ask you to sit back down.”

  “Sorry, but we need off this plane, now!” She practically screams at the flight attendant.

  “Please return to your seat. We’re almost there, and you can get off then.”

  “Julie, sit down. Neither of us needs to get arrested,” I say as I look back at my phone.

  I don’t want to dial Brooke from the inside of this cabin. If something’s wrong with Belle or the baby, I don’t want to lose my shit here in front of all these strangers.

  Instead, I lean over, asking Jason, one of the guys from our crew, if he’ll grab our bags from the overhead compartments. I explain to him that we have an emergency, and I’ll pick everything up from him later or at work. At this point, I don’t care if I leave this plane with my camera. All I need to know is that t
hey’re both safe. That’s all that matters. I glance back out, noticing the airline staff doing what they do. I unbuckle my seatbelt, locking eyes with Julie. The two of us are ready to bolt as soon as we’re allowed. I knew going to Scotland was a bad idea. If anything happens to them, I’ll never forgive myself. I won’t be able to live without them in my life. She makes my life worth living for. She’s the reason I get up in the morning. She’s the reason I work so hard. I want to give her the life she deserves, the one she’s dreamt about since we were younger. At times, I think Belle forgets that I remember everything she’s ever said.

  I lean my head back, closing my eyes as I try to slow my breathing. All I picture is the two of us lying in her backyard, looking up at the stars after dinner with her parents.

  “Paxton, what do you see when you look at the future?”

  “What do you mean, Belle?”

  “I mean when you’re older, after we graduate from college. Where do you think you’ll live? Who will you marry? Will you have a white fence with a dog running around chasing a ball?”

  I grab her hand a little tighter, wanting to tell her that I see myself with her and that I’ll give her the white fence and dog if that’s what she wants. Instead, I chicken out as usual.

  “I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it. I don’t see myself married or any of that stuff you dream about. What about you?”

  She tenses under my touch, releasing her hand from mine before grabbing it again. I let out a breath of air as I know I’m an ass and should just fess up to my feelings, but I can’t; it’ll ruin what we have between us. Belle has no idea how much I need her in my life. She grounds me. Makes me believe that this world we live in will be okay. That when we look back on our lives, we’ll laugh at the things we did and not regret the things we didn’t get a chance to do.