Your baby recognizes the difference between deep and high- pitched voices. High-pitched sounds will draw her attention more quickly. Adults sense this and speak to babies in high-pitched voices, so there is no need to be ashamed of your “oochykoochy- cooing. “ Your baby is also able to differentiate between soft and loud sounds and does not like sudden, loud noises Some babies are easily frightened, and if this is so for your baby, it is important that you do nothing that will frighten her.
WHAT BABIES SMELL
Your new baby is very sensitive to smells. She does not like pungent or sharp odors. These smells will make her overactive. She will try to turn away from the source of the smell, and she may start to cry, too.
Your baby can smell the difference between your body scent and breast milk and those of other mothers. If she is presented with several items of worn clothing, she will turn toward the article that you have worn.
WHAT BABIES TASTE
Your baby can already distinguish between several different flavors. She has a distinct preference for sweet things and will dislike anything that tastes sour or acidic. If something tastes bitter, she will spit it out as fast as she can.
WHAT BABIES FEEL
Your baby can sense changes in temperature. She can feel heat, which she puts to good use when searching for a nipple if it is not put in her mouth, since the nipple is much warmer than the breast. She simply moves her head in the direction of the warmest spot. Your baby can also sense cold. But if she is allowed to become cold, she will be unable to warm herself, because at this age she can’t shiver to get warm as a means of controlling her own body temperature. Her parents need to consider her bodily warmth. For instance, it’s not very sensible to take a baby for a long walk through snow and ice, no matter how well wrapped up she is, because she may become too cold and show signs of hypothermia. If your baby shows distress of any kind, hurry inside where it is warm.
Your baby is extremely sensitive to being touched. Generally, she loves skin contact, whether it’s soft or firm. Find out what your baby prefers. She will usually enjoy a body massage in a nice warm room, too. Physical contact is simply the best possible comfort and amusement for her. Try to find out what kind of contact makes your baby sleepy or alert, since you can put this knowledge to good use in troublesome times.
Your new baby is not yet able to make this distinction, however. He experiences the world as all one universe—a mish-mash of sensation that changes drastically as soon as a single element changes. He receives all these impressions but cannot distinguish among them. He does not yet realize that his world is made up of signals from individual senses and that each sense conveys messages about a single aspect of it.
To make matters even more confusing for your infant, he cannot yet make a distinction between himself and his surroundings, and he is not yet aware of being an independent person. Because of this, he also is unable to make a distinction between sensations that have their origin within his own body and those that come from outside it. As far as he is concerned, the outside world and his body are one and the same. To him, the world is one big color-cuddle-smell-and-sound sensation. What his body feels, he assumes everyone and everything else feels.
Because a newborn baby perceives the world and himself as one and the same, it is often difficult to discover the reason why he is crying. It could be anything inside or outside of him. No wonder his crying fits can drive his parents to distraction.
Your New Baby’s Tool Kit
If you were to experience the world in the same way your baby does, you too would be incapable of acting independently. You would not know that you have hands to grasp things with and a mouth to suck with. Only when you understand these things will you be able to do things deliberately.
This does not mean, however, that newborn babies are completely incapable of reacting to the world. Fortunately, your baby comes equipped with several special features to compensate for these shortcomings and help him survive this initial period.
His Reflexes Tell Him What to Do
Babies have several reflex reactions to keep them safe. For example, a newborn baby will automatically turn his head to one side to breathe freely when lying face down. In some ways, this reflex is similar to the way a puppet reacts to its strings being pulled. He does not stop to think, “I’m going to turn my head.” It simply happens. As soon as a baby learns to think and respond, this reflex disappears. It is a perfect system. (Of course, when it’s time for your baby to go to sleep, be sure to place him on his back.)
Newborn babies also turn their heads toward sound. This automatic reaction ensures that a baby will shift his attention to the place of interest closest by. For many years, doctors overlooked this reaction because the newborn’s response to sound is delayed. It takes 5 to 7 seconds before the baby starts to move his head, and it takes another 3 to 4 seconds to complete the movement. This reflex disappears somewhere between the 5th and 8th week after birth.
Here are some of your baby’s other reflexes.
As soon as the mouth of a hungry newborn comes in contact with an object, his mouth will close around it, and he will start to suck. This reflex provides the baby with an incredibly strong sucking ability. It disappears as soon as a baby no longer needs to suckle.
Babies also have a strong gripping reflex. If you want your baby to grasp your finger, just stroke the palm of his hand. He will automatically grab your finger. If you do the same with his feet, he’ll use his toes to grab your finger. This gripping reflex is thought to date back to prehistoric times, when hominid mothers were covered with thick body hair. Because of this reflex, babies were able to cling to their mothers’ hair shortly after birth. A baby will use this gripping reflex during the first 2 months of life, especially if he senses you want to put him down when he would much rather stay with you!
A baby shows a reaction called the Moro reflex when he is frightened. He looks as if he is trying to grab at something during a fall. He arches his back, throws his head back, and waves his arms and legs about, outward at first, then inward, before crossing them across his chest and stomach.
Babies Get Bored,Too
Your tiny infant is not yet able to amuse herself. Lively, temperamental babies in particular make no secret about wanting some action as soon as they are awake.
Here are some ways to keep your baby entertained.
Explore the house with her. Give her the opportunity to see, hear, and touch whatever she finds interesting. Explain the items you come across while exploring. No matter what it is, she will enjoy listening to your voice. Pretty soon, she will start recognizing objects herself.
Have a quiet “chat.” Your baby enjoys listening to your voice. But if you also have a radio playing in the background, she will have difficulty in concentrating on your voice only. Although young babies are able to make a distinction between different voices when they hear them one at a time, they cannot distinguish one from the other when hearing them simultaneously.
Place interesting objects in convenient places for your baby to look at when she is awake. At this age she won’t be able to search for them herself, so for her it’s “out of sight, out of mind ”
Experiment with music. Try to discover her favorite music and play it to her. She may find it to be very soothing.
In all activities, let your baby’s responses guide you.
All of these baby reflexes disappear when they are replaced by voluntary responses. But there are other automatic reflexes that remain for life, such as breathing, sneezing, coughing, blinking, and jerking back a hand from a hot surface.
His Cries Get Your Attention
The reflexes mentioned above are your new baby’s way of restoring an uncomfortable situation to normal. Sometimes these reflexes are not enough—for instance, if he is too hot or cold, if he is not feeling well, or if he is bored. In these cases, the baby employs another strategy: He wails until someone else rectifies the situation. If no one helps him, the baby will cry incessant
ly until he is completely exhausted.
“My son’s crying fits started in his second week. He yelled day and night, even though he was nursing well and growing steadily. When I took him to the clinic for his regular checkup, I mentioned that perhaps he was bored. But the pediatrician said that was impossible because babies keep their eyes closed for the first 10 days, and even if my baby had his eyes open, he still wouldn’t be able to see anything. Last week, I put a rattle in his crib anyway. It seems to be helping. He’s certainly crying less. So he was bored after all!”
Paul’s mom, 4th week
His Appearance Melts Your Heart
In order to survive, your baby has to rely on someone else to attend to his every need, morning, noon, and night. Therefore, nature has supplied him with a powerful weapon that he continually puts to use—his appearance.
Nothing is cuter than a baby. His extraordinarily large head makes up almost one third of his total length. His eyes and forehead are also “too big,” and his cheeks are “too chubby.” Furthermore, his arms and legs are “too short and too plump.” His cute looks are endearing. Designers of dolls, cuddly toys, and cartoons are quick to copy them. This look sells! This is exactly how your baby sells himself, too. He is sweet, tiny, and helpless—a little cutie, just begging for attention. He will charm you into picking him up, cuddling him, and taking care of him.
Throughout the world, babies have been seen smiling before they are 6 weeks old. Smiling babies have even been filmed in the womb. Even so, this is a very rare occurrence in babies this young. Nevertheless, you may be one of the lucky parents who has witnessed an early smile. Newborn babies smile when touched, when a breath of fresh air brushes their cheeks, when they hear human voices or other sounds, when they see faces hovering over their cribs, or simply when they are full of milk and feeling content. Sometimes they even smile in their sleep.
Your New Baby’s Biggest Need
Even before she was born, your baby perceived her world as one whole. At birth, she left her familiar surroundings and for the first time was exposed to all kinds of unknown, completely new things. This new world was made up of many new sensations. Suddenly, she’s able to move freely, sense heat and cold, hear a whole range of different and louder noises, see bright lights, and feel clothes wrapped around her body. Besides these impressions, she also has to breathe by herself and get used to drinking milk, and her digestive organs have to process this new food, too. All these things are new to her. Because she suddenly has to cope with these enormous changes in lifestyle, it’s easy to understand why she needs to feel safe and secure.
Close human contact is the best way of imitating your baby’s secure world inside the womb. It makes her feel safe. After all, your womb hugged her body, and your movements kneaded it, as far back as she can remember. It was her home. She was part of whatever took place in there—the rhythmical beating of your heart, the flow of your blood, and the rumbling of your stomach. Therefore, it makes perfect sense that she will enjoy feeling the old, familiar physical contact and hearing those well-known sounds once more. It is her way of “touching base.”
Touch: Simply the Best Comfort
Besides food and warmth, nothing is more important to your infant than snuggling close to you during the first 4 months of her life. As long as she experiences lots of physical contact, her development will not be delayed, even if you don’t have much opportunity to play with her
A young baby generally loves lying close to you and being carried around. At the same time, this is also a good opportunity for her to learn to control her body.
Another idea is to give her a relaxing massage. Make sure the room is warm. Pour some baby oil into your hands and softly massage every part of her naked body. This is a nice way of helping her to grow accustomed to her body, and it will make her wonderfully drowsy.
At this age, a baby loves to be picked up, cuddled, caressed, and rocked. She may even enjoy soft pats on her back. She cannot get enough physical contact now. Don’t worry about whether you’re doing the right thing—she’ll soon let you know what she likes best and what comforts her most. In the meantime, she is learning that she has a wonderful home base to which she can safely return when she is upset.
Chapter 3
Wonder Week 5:
The World of Changing
Sensations
For much of the last 4 or 5 weeks, you have watched your infant grow rapidly. You have become acquainted with each other, and you have learned all of his little ways. His world at this time is hard for adults to imagine. It's in soft focus and its qualities are undefined—in some ways it has not been so different from his life in your womb.
Now, before the mists that envelop his infant world part and allow him to start making sense of all the impressions that he has been busy absorbing in the last few weeks, he will need to go through his first major developmental leap. At about 5 weeks, and sometimes as early as 4, your baby will begin to take the first leap forward in his development.
New sensations bombard your baby inside and out, and he is usually bewildered by them. Some of these new things have to do with the development of his internal organs and his metabolism. Others are a result of his increased alertness—his senses are more sensitive than they were immediately after birth. So it is not so much the sensations themselves that are changing, but rather the baby's perceptions of them.
This rapidly changing world is very disturbing at first. Your baby's first reaction will be to want to return to the safe, warm, familiar world he so recently left, a world with mommy at its center. Suddenly, your infant may seem to need more cuddles and attention than he did before. While eating and sleeping and being well-looked after physically were enough to lull him with a sense of well-being before, he now seems to need something more from you. Although your baby has been very close to you since his birth, this may be the first time you think of him as fussy or demanding. This period may last only a day, but with some babies it lasts a whole week.
As this clinginess begins to ease, you will notice that your baby is just a little more grown-up in some way that you find it hard to put your finger on. He seems more alert and aware of the world around him.
Do Remember
If your baby is fussy, watch him closely to see if he is attempting to master new skills.
Even very young babies of 5 weeks can sense the changes occurring inside their tiny bodies. Having so newly gotten used to a world outside the warm embrace of your body, your baby is now finding her world changing for a second time. It's important to understand that although everything seems the same to you, to her everything she sees, feels, hears, smells, or tastes is different somehow. She may like some of these changes, but she may dislike others because she doesn't yet know how to cope with them. She is still too young to turn to you for help, and she certainly can't ask you what is going on.
How You Know It's Time to Grow
Even though your baby can't form the words to tell you what's going on, she is able to communicate quite a bit. Here are some signs that she is preparing to make her first leap.
She May Be Highly Upset
At this time, it's very likely your baby will yell, cry, scream, and refuse to go to sleep in her crib until she has driven the entire household crazy. These are the clues that your baby is about to make her first leap! With a bit of luck, her distress will make you run toward her, pick her up, hold her tight, and let her snuggle up.
She May Crave Closeness with You
If she's even luckier, after you pick her up, you may also let her nurse. Sometimes she will drift off to sleep only if she's snuggled up to mommy in the closest way possible—latched onto the breast. Providing this sort of physical comfort with breast or bottle may be the only way to create the safe world she is so desperate for at this time.
"Normally, my baby is very easy, but she suddenly started crying nonstop for almost 2 days. At first I thought it was just stomach cramps. But then I noticed she stopped whenever I had h
er on my lap, or when I let her lie in between us. She fell asleep right away then. I kept asking myself if I was spoiling her too much by allowing it. But the crying period stopped just as suddenly as it started, and now she's as easygoing as she was before."
Eve's mom, 5th week
How This Leap May Affect You
As these major changes in your baby affect her, they're bound to have an affect on you as well. Here are some emotions you may feel.
You May Feel Insecure
All mothers want to find out why their babies are being troublesome and restless so that they can make it better for them. Usually, they will first try to see if the baby is hungry. Then they check if the diaper has come loose. They change her diaper. They try to comfort her with all the love and soothing they can muster in those trying moments. But it isn't easy. Pretty soon they discover that all the best care and comfort doesn't really stop the little bundle from resuming her relentless crying.
Most mothers find a sudden change in their babies' behavior to be a miserable experience. It undermines their confidence and is very distressing.
"My son wanted to be with me all of the time, and I either held him against my chest or on my lap, even when we had company. I was terribly concerned. One night I hardly slept at all. I just spent the whole night holding and cuddling him. Then my sister came and took over for a night. I went in the other bedroom and slept like a log the whole night. I felt reborn when I woke up the next day."
The Wonder Weeks Page 4
