Bob's mom, 5th week
You May Feel Very Concerned
Often, mothers are afraid that something is wrong with their tiny screamers. They think that she's in pain, or that she may be suffering from some abnormality or disorder that has gone undetected until now. Others worry that the milk supply from breastfeeding alone is not sufficient. This is because the baby seems to crave the breast constantly and is always hungry. Some mothers take their babies to doctors for checkups. Of course, most babies are pronounced perfectly healthy and the mothers are sent home to worry alone. (When in doubt, always consult your family doctor or go to the childcare clinic.)
"My daughter was crying so much that I was afraid something was terribly wrong. She wanted to breastfeed constantly. I took her to see the pediatrician, but he couldn't find anything wrong with her. He said she just needed time to get used to my milk and that many infants went through a similar crying phase at 5 weeks. I thought that it was a strange thing to say, because she hadn't had any problems with my milk until then. Her cousin, who was the same age, kept crying, too, but he was being bottle-fed. When I told the doctor that, he pretended he hadn't heard. I didn't push the subject, though. I was happy enough just knowing it wasn't anything serious."
Juliette's mom, 5th week
Because your baby senses something changing, she feels insecure and has a greater need for close skin-to-skin contact. This close embrace seems to be the most powerfully calming type of physical contact when she is upset. Give her all the cuddling she needs and all the contact you feel you can handle at times like these. She needs time to adjust to these new changes and grow into her new world. She's accustomed to your body scent, warmth, voice, and touch. With you, she will relax a little and feel contented again. You can provide the tender loving care she really needs during this trying period.
"Sometimes my daughter will nurse for half an hour and refuse to come off the breast. 'Just take her off after 20 minutes, and let her scream. She'll soon learn,' is the advice people give me. But secretly I think, 'They can say what they like; I decide what's best.'"
Nina's mom, 5th week
You may notice that close physical contact will help during these crying fits, and that a noisy little creature will respond better and quicker when she is with you. Try carrying your baby around in a sling if you can while you go about your chores, or keep her on your lap while you read or do other sedentary activities. A gentle massage or stroking can be helpful, too.
"When my baby was crying all the time, she seemed so lost. I had to massage her for a long time before she calmed down a bit. I felt exhausted but extremely satisfied. Something changed after that. It doesn't seem to take as long to soothe her now. When she cries now, I don't find it such an effort to put her world to rights again."
Nina's mom, 4th week
Mothers who carry their babies around whenever they are in a fussy mood may label them "extremely dependent." These babies like nothing better than lying quietly against their mothers and being stroked, rocked, or cuddled. They may fall asleep on their mothers' laps, but start to cry again as soon as furtive attempts are made to sneak them back into their cribs.
Soothing Tips
When you want to comfort a tiny baby, a gentle rhythm can play a very important role. Hold your baby close to you, with his bottom resting on one arm while your other arm supports his head resting against your shoulder. When he's in this position, he can feel the soothing beat of your heart
Here are a few other mom-recommended methods to soothe a tiny screamer.
Cuddle and caress him.
Rock him gently in your arms, or sit in a rocking chair with him.
Walk around slowly with him.
Talk or sing to him.
Pat him gently on the bottom.
Not all of these ideas will suit your baby personally, so if you don't succeed at first, keep trying until you find out what works for him. The most successful way of comforting a crying baby is to do the things he enjoys most when he's in a cheerful mood.
Mothers who stick to feeding and sleeping schedules often notice that their babies fall asleep during feeding. Some wonder if this is because the babies are so exhausted from crying and lack of sleep that they have no energy left to nurse. This may seem logical, but it may not be the whole story. It's more likely that the baby falls asleep because she's where she wants to be. She's finally with mommy, and she's content, so she is able to fall asleep.
How to Make a Sling
Slings are extremely easy to make and cozy for you and your new baby. A sling will help to give your arms a break by supporting your baby's weight and make your baby feel safe and secure. Plus, they cost only a few dollars to make. Your baby can use a sling almost immediately after birth since it allows him to lie flat. Here's how to make one.
Use a sturdy piece of material, 1 yard by 3 1/2 yards. Drape the cloth over your left shoulder if you are right-handed, or over your right shoulder if you are left-handed, and knot the ends together at the opposite hip. Turn the knot toward your back. Check to see if the length of the sling feels right. If it does, the sling is ready for use. Pop your baby inside and support her with your hands. It's that easy!
"The first 2 days my son cried so much. I was doing my best to stick to the proper bedtimes, but it turned out to be a total disaster. It drove us both up the wall. Now I keep him on my lap for as long as he wants without feeling guilty. I feel good about it. It's nice and warm and cozy. It's obvious he loves it. The feeding schedule's gone out the window, too. I didn't stick to it. Now he just lets me know when he's hungry. Sometimes he nurses for a long time, but sometimes he doesn't. He's much more contented now, and I am, too."
Steven's mom, 5th week
A number of indications in babies of approximately 4 to 5 weeks show that they are undergoing enormous changes that affect their senses, metabolism, and internal organs. This is when the first leap occurs—the baby's alertness in the world of sensations increases dramatically. At this point your baby is losing some of his newborn skills. He will no longer follow a face with his eyes or turn toward a sound. There are signs that these early skills were controlled by primitive centers in the lower brain, and that they disappear to make way for developments in the higher levels of the brain. Soon you will see similar behaviors emerge, but this time they will seem to be much more under your baby's control. At this age, your baby is also likely to outgrow problems that he may have had initially with his digestive system.
Sleeping Tips
A baby with sleeping problems will often fall asleep more quickly when he is with you. The warmth of your body, your gentle movements, and your soft sounds will help to soothe him. Here are some tips on the best ways to get him to sleep.
Give him a warm bath, put him on a warm towel, and then massage him gently with baby oil.
Breast or bottle-feed him, since sucking will help to relax and soothe him.
Walk around with him, either in a sling or baby carrier.
Push him around in his stroller.
Take him for a ride in the car.
Pop him into bed beside you.
Between 4 and 5 weeks old, your baby goes through a whole set of changes that affect his senses—the way he experiences the world, the way he feels, even the way he digests his food. His whole world feels, looks, smells, and sounds different. Some of these changes have direct consequences that you can see. For example, this may be the first time that you notice him crying real tears. He may stay awake for longer periods and seem more interested in the world around him. Just after birth, he was only able to focus on objects that were up to a foot away, but now he can focus at a longer distance. It's not surprising, therefore, that a baby feels it's time for some action.
Five to six-week-old babies are even prepared to work in order to experience interesting sensations. In a laboratory experiment, babies showed that they could adjust the focus of a color movie by sucking harder on a pacifier. As soon as the baby stopped sucking, the
picture blurred. Babies at this age have difficulty sucking and watching at the same time, so they could keep this up only for a few seconds. To check that this was really what they were trying to do, the babies were then required to stop sucking in order to bring the picture into focus. They could do this, too!
Babies can also start using their smile in social contact to influence their experiences. Your baby's smiles change from something superficial, almost robot-like, into social smiles around this age. Mothers and fathers become very excited when they see a smile at an earlier age, but once they have seen the "social smile," they will admit noticing a difference.
Brain Changes
At approximately 3 to 4 weeks, there is a dramatic increase in a baby's head circumference. His glucose metabolism, in the brain, also changes.
My Diary
How My Baby Explores the New World of Changing Sensations
Check off the boxes below as your baby changes. Stop filling this out once the next stormy period begins, heralding the next leap.
HIS INTEREST IN HIS SURROUNDINGS
Looks at things longer and more often
Listens to things more often and pays closer attention
Is more aware of being touched
Is more aware of different smells
Smiles for the first time, or more often than before
Gurgles with pleasure more often
Expresses likes or dislikes more often
Expresses anticipation more often
Stays awake longer, and is more alert
* * *
HIS PHYSICAL CHANGES
Breathes more regularly
Startles and trembles less often
Cries real tears for the first time, or more often than before
Chokes less
Vomits less
Burps less
* * *
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE
Your Baby's Choices: A Key to His Personality
The senses of all babies develop rapidly at this time, and they will all become clearly more interested in their surroundings. It may or may not seem obvious at first, but every baby will have his own preferences. Some bright-eyed infants really enjoy looking at and watching everything and everyone around them. Others will listen keenly to music and sounds around them and will find sound-producing objects such as rattles more appealing than anything else. Another group of babies will love to be touched, and they would like nothing better than to play games that involve being touched and caressed by someone. Some babies don't have any clear preference. Even at this very young age, you will find that every baby is different.
As you go through the "My Diary" list on page 47, you may want to mark or highlight the items that apply now to your baby. He may display only a few of the behaviors, and others may not appear for several weeks. An infant who is more interested in certain sensory experiences in his world than others is showing you that he is already an individual.
"I take my daughter along to my singing classes every day. During the first few weeks, she hardly reacted to sounds at all, and I felt quite concerned, to be honest. Now suddenly, she's totally preoccupied by noises of any kind when she is awake. If she wakes up in a bad mood and I sing to her, she stops crying immediately. She doesn't stop when my friends sing, though!"
Hannah's mom, 6th week
Rocky Times for Everyone
Going through a big change can be a stressful event for your baby and for you, and you may both find the strain unbearable at times You may become exhausted from lack of sleep or because anxieties prevent you from sleeping well Here's an example of how this vicious cycle can work
The baby is confused and cries.
Constant crying makes her mother feel insecure and anxious.
Tension builds, and mother finds herself unable to cope.
The baby senses the extra tension, becomes even more fussy, and cries even louder than before.
The cycle repeats, again and again.
When the strain gets to be too much, remember that it is normal to feel this way. Try to take time out to relax. Your baby will benefit from it as much as you will.
Use physical contact and attention to comfort your baby. This will make it easier for her to adapt to all the changes at her own pace, and it will also give her self-confidence. She will know that someone is there for her whenever she needs comfort.
As her mother, you need support, too, not criticism, from family and friends. While criticism will only undermine your already battered self-confidence, support will make you better able to cope with the difficult periods
The very best way to help your baby is to give her tender loving care and support. It is impossible to spoil her at this age, so never feel guilty about comforting her, especially when she cries.
Help your baby on her voyage of discovery. You'll find that she is usually more interested in the world around her now. She is more perceptive, and she is often awake for a longer time to enjoy her surroundings. Try to find out what activities she likes best by watching her reactions carefully. As small as she is, she is still able to let you know what pleases or displeases her. Once you know what your baby likes, you'll be able to introduce new activities, games, and toys gently.
How Can You Tell What She Likes Best?
Your baby will smile when given the things that she enjoys most. It can be something she sees, hears, smells, tastes, or feels. Because her senses have developed and she is now able to perceive a little more of her world, she will also smile more often. It will be very rewarding to experiment and discover which activities produce these wonderful smiles.
"I dance around with my baby, and when I stop, he smiles."
John's mom, 6th week
"When I put my face close to my daughter's and smile and talk to her, she makes eye contact and grins. It's wonderful."
Laura's mom, 5th week
"My daughter smiles at her dolls and teddy bears."
Jenny's mom, 6th week
That's Just How Babies Are
Babies love anything new, and it is important that you acknowledge your baby's new skills and interests He will enjoy it if you share these new discoveries, and his learning will progress more quickly with your encouragement.
Help Your Baby Explore the New World through Sight
Your baby looks longer at objects that interest her now. The brighter the colors, the more fascinating she will find them. She also likes striped and angular objects. And your face, of course.
If you walk around with your baby, you'll automatically discover what she likes looking at best. Give her enough time to have a good look at things—and don't forget that her range of focus is not much more than a foot. Some babies like looking at the same objects time and time again, while others get bored if they are not shown something different each time. If you notice that your baby is getting bored, show her objects that are similar to the ones she likes but slightly different.
"My baby is much more aware of everything she sees now. Her favorites are the bars of her crib, which contrast with the white walls; books on the bookshelf; our ceiling, which has long wooden slats with a dark stripe in between; and a black-and-white ink drawing on the wall. At night, lights seem to interest her the most."
Emily's mom, 5th week
"My son stares right into my face and gazes at me for quite some time. He thinks it's funny when I eat. He looks at my mouth and watches me chew. He seems to think it's fascinating."
Kevin's mom, 6th week
"When I move a green and yellow ball slowly from left to right, my daughter turns her head to follow it. She seems to think it's great fun, although this proud mom probably enjoys it more than she does."
Ashley's mom, 5th week
Help Your Baby Explore the New World through Sound
Sounds usually fascinate babies. Buzzing, squeaking, ringing, rustling, or whizzing sounds are all interesting. Babies find human voices very intriguing, too. High-pitched voices are extremely interesting, althou
gh nothing can beat the sound of mother's voice, even if she's not a natural soprano.
Even at 5 weeks old, you can have cozy little chats with your baby. Pick a comfortable place to sit and put your face close to hers. Chat to her about how beautiful she is, everyday events, or whatever comes to mind. Stop talking once in a while to give her a chance to "reply."
"I really think my son is listening to me now. It's remarkable."
Matt's mom, 5th week
"Sometimes my baby chats back to me when I'm talking to her. She talks longer now, and sometimes it seems as if she's really trying to tell me something. It's adorable. Yesterday, she chatted to her rabbit in her crib."
Hannah's mom, 5th week
Help Your Baby Explore the New World through Touch
All babies become more aware of being touched at this age. Too many cuddling visitors may suddenly become "too much" for one baby, whereas another one may enjoy the attention tremendously. Every baby is different! You may hear your baby laughing out loud for the very first time now, perhaps when she is being tickled. But for most babies of this age, tickling is something that they will not yet particularly appreciate.
"My daughter laughed out loud, really roared, when her brother started tickling her. Everyone was startled, and it went dead quiet."
Emily's mom, 5th week
Baby Care
The Wonder Weeks Page 5
