If your baby likes playing with words and gestures, use this to his advantage. There are several things you can do to help your baby to understand what you’re saying. Use short sentences with clear and obvious gestures. Explain the things you are doing. Let him see, feel, smell, and taste the things you are talking about. He understands more than you think.
“Once, I told my son to watch the rabbit, and he understood what I meant. He listens very closely.”
Paul’s mom, 26th week
“I get the feeling that my son knows what I mean when I explain something or make a suggestion, such as, ‘Shall we go for a nice little walk?’ or ‘I think it’s bedtime!’ It’s so cute—he doesn’t like hearing the word ‘bed’!”
Bob’s mom, 30th week
“When we say, ‘Clap your hands,’ my daughter does. And when we say, ‘Jump up and down,’ she bends her knees and bounces up and down, but her feet don’t leave the ground.”
Jenny’s mom, 32nd week
“When I say ‘bye, say bye, bye’ while waving at daddy who is leaving, my daughter waves while keeping a steady eye on my waving hand.”
Nina’s mom, 32nd week
Her First Word
Once your baby has gained the ability to perceive and experiment with relationships, she may discover her first word. It doesn’t mean that she will start to talk, though. The age at which babies begin to use words differs greatly. So don’t worry if she puts it off for a few more months. Most babies produce their first real word during the 10th or 11th month.
If your baby is obsessed with something else, such as crawling and standing, there may simply be no time left to spend on words. She can’t do everything at once.
If your baby attempts to say or ask something with a sound or gestures, make sure you let him know that you are thrilled with his potential. Talk and signal back to him. The best way to teach your baby to talk is by talking to him a lot yourself. Call everyday items by their names. Ask questions, such as, “Would you like a sandwich?” when you put his plate down. Let him hear nursery rhymes, and play singing games with him. In short, make speech attractive.
“Whenever my son wants to do something, he’ll put his hand on it and look at me. It’s as if he’s trying to ask, ‘May I?’ He also understands, ‘no.’ Of course, it doesn’t stop him from trying, but he knows what it means.”
Bob’s mom, 32nd week
“Last week, my daughter said ‘oo’ (oops) for the first time when she fell. We also noticed that she was starting to copy sounds from us, so we’ve started teaching her to talk.”
Jenny’s mom, 29th week
“My daughter is a real chatterbox. She’s especially talkative while crawling, when she recognizes someone or something. She talks to her stuffed toys and to us when she’s on our laps. It’s as if she’s telling entire stories. She uses all kinds of vowels and consonants. The variations seem endless.”
Hannah’s mom, 29th week
“My son nods his head and makes a certain sound. If I imitate him, he starts giggling uncontrollably.”
Paul’s mom, 28th week
If your baby loves music, make sure you do a lot of singing, dancing, and clapping songs with him. This way, your baby can practice using words and gestures. If you don’t know many children’s songs, you can buy a music CD. Some public libraries lend these out, too.
“When we were singing at the baby swimming class, my baby suddenly started singing along.”
Nina’s mom, 30th week
“Whenever my daughter hears music or I start to sing, she immediately starts wiggling her tummy.”
Eve’s mom, 32nd week
Promoting Progress by Raising Expectations
Whatever new things your baby comprehends, you can demand from him nothing more, but also nothing less. Breaking old habits and setting new rules are also part of developing new skills. When your baby is busy learning new skills, he can be very irritating in the process. This is because old ways of doing things and established rules of behavior may no longer suit the baby’s current progress. Both mother and baby have to renegotiate new rules to restore peace and harmony.
At first parents worry when their baby enters a new fussy phase. They get annoyed when they discover that nothing is wrong with their baby and, to the contrary, he is in fact ready to be more independent. It is then that they start demanding that their baby do the things they feel he is able to do. As a consequence, they promote progress.
“I’ve always rocked him to sleep while breastfeeding. But now it irritates me. I feel he’s old enough to just go straight to bed. My husband likes putting him to bed, too, but that’s out of the question now. And you never know, someday it might have to be done by someone else. I’ve started getting him used to going straight to bed once a day. But he’s certainly putting up a fight.”
Matt’s mom, 31st week
Top Games for This Wonder Week
Here are some games and activities that work best for babies exploring the world of relationships. Whatever kind of game you choose, language can now begin to play a big part in your games
PEEK-A-BOO AND HIDE-AND-SEEK GAMES
These are very popular games at this age. The variations are endless
PEEK-A-BOO WITH A HANDKERCHIEF
Put a handkerchief over your head and see if your baby will pull it away. Ask “Where’s mommy?” Your baby will know you’re still there, because he can hear you. If he doesn’t make any attempts to pull away the handkerchief, take his hand and pull it away together. Say “peek-a-boo” when you reappear.
VARIATIONS WITH PEEK-A-BOO
Cover your face with your hands and take them away, or pop up from behind a newspaper or book held between you and the baby. Babies also like it when you appear from behind a plant or under a table. After all, they can still see parts of you.
Or hide in a conspicuous place, such as behind a curtain. This way, she can follow the movements of the curtain. Make sure your baby sees you disappear For example, announce that you’re going to hide (for non-crawlers), or that she has to come look for you (for crawlers). If she didn’t watch you or was distracted for a moment by something else, call her name. Try it sometime in the door opening too. This will teach her that leaving is followed by returning. Reward her every time she manages to find you. Lift her up high or cuddle her—whatever she likes best.
WHERE’S THE BABY?
A lot of babies discover they can hide themselves behind or under something. They usually start with a cloth or an item of clothing while being changed. Take advantage of any opportunity to develop a game that the baby has started. This way, he’ll learn that he can take the lead.
HIDING TOYS
Try hiding toys under a blanket. Make sure you use something your baby likes or that she’s attached to. Show her how and where you hide it. Make it easy for her the first time around. Make sure she can still see a tiny part of the toy.
HIDING TOYS IN THE BATHTUB
Use bath foam in the bathtub and allow your baby to play with it. Try hiding toys under the foam some time and invite him to look for them. If he can blow, try blowing at the foam. Or give him a straw and encourage him to blow through it.
TALKING GAMES
You can make talking attractive by talking to your baby frequently, by listening to him, by reading books together, and by playing whispering, singing, and word games.
LOOK AT PICTURE BOOKS TOGETHER
Take your baby on your lap—he usually likes that best. Let him choose a book to look at together. Call by name whatever your baby looks at. If it’s a book with animals in it, mimic the sounds the animals make. Babies generally love hearing and making sounds like bark, moo, and quack. Let him turn the pages by himself, if he wants to.
WHISPERING GAME
Most babies love it when sounds or words are whispered in their ears. Making little puffs of air that tickle his ear is interesting, too, perhaps because a baby can now understand what blowing is.
SONG A
ND MOVEMENT GAMES
These games can be used to encourage both singing and talking. They also exercise the baby’s sense of balance.
GIDDY-UP, GIDDY-UP, LITTLE ROCKING HORSE
Take your baby on your knee, upright and facing you. Support him under his arms and jog him up and down gently, singing:
Giddy-up, giddy-up, little rocking horse
Giddy-up, giddy-up, little rocking horse
Giddy-up, giddy-up, little rocking horse
Ride away, away to Candy Land.
THIS IS THE WAY THE LADY RIDES
Take your baby on your knee, upright and facing you. Support her under her arms, and sing the following song:
This is the way the lady rides,
The lady rides,
The lady rides,
This is the way the lady rides,
So early in the morning.
(Sing slowly and solemnly, and jog her neatly up and down on your knee. )
This is the way the gentleman rides,
The gentleman rides,
The gentleman rides,
This is the way the gentleman rides,
So early in the morning.
(Sing faster, and jog her faster. )
This is the way the farmer rides,
The farmer rides,
The farmer rides,
This is the way the farmer rides,
So early in the morning.
(Sing wearily and jog her up, down, and sideways. )
CLIP CLOP CLIP CLOP
AND DOWN INTO THE DITCH!
(“DOWN” comes as a surprise. Pull your knees apart and let her “fall” between your knees. )
BALANCING GAMES
A lot of singing games, like those above, are also balancing games. Here are some others.
SITTING GAME
Sit down comfortably. Take your baby on your knee. Hold his hands, and move him gently from left to right, so that he shifts his weight from buttock to buttock. Also try letting him lean forward or backward carefully. Babies find the latter the most exciting. You can also move him in small or large circles, to the left, backward, to the right, and forward. Adjust yourself to your baby. The movement has to challenge him just enough to make him want to find his balance himself. You can also let him swing like a pendulum of a clock while you sing: tick tock, tick tock in time with the movement.
STANDING GAME
Kneel comfortably on the floor and let him stand in front of you while you hold his hips or hands and move him gently from left to right, so that he transfers his weight from one leg to the other. Do the same thing in a different plane so that his body weight shifts from back to front. Adjust yourself to your baby. It has to challenge him just enough to make him want to find his balance himself.
FLYING GAME
Grasp your baby firmly, lift her, and let her “fly” through the room. Let her rise and descend. Turn left and right. Fly in small circles, in a straight line, and backward. Vary the movement and speed as much as possible. If your baby enjoys this, then try letting her land carefully upside down, head first. Naturally, you’ll accompany the entire flight with different zooming, humming, or screeching sounds. The more alert you can be to her reactions, the more easily you will be able to adjust this game so it’s just right for her
STANDING HIM ON HIS HEAD
Most physically active babies love horsing around and being stood on their heads. However, others find standing on their heads frightening or over-exciting. Play this game only if your baby likes playing rough. It’s a healthy exercise for him. Remember to support his body completely as you hold him upside down
GAMES WITH TOYS
For now, the best “toys” are all the things babies can find to get into around the house. The best games are emptying cupboards and shelves, dropping things, and throwing things away.
BABY’S OWN CUPBOARD GAME
Organize a cupboard for the baby and fill it with things that she finds super attractive. Usually this will include empty boxes, empty egg cartons, empty toilet paper rolls, plastic plates, and plastic bottles with lids and filled with something rattly. But also include things she can make a lot of noise with, such as a pan, wooden spoons, and an old set of keys.
FALLING GAME
Some babies like hearing a lot of noise when they drop something. If your baby does, you could make a game of it by putting him in his high chair and placing a metal serving tray on the floor. Hand him blocks, and show him how to let them go so that they fall on the tray and make a big bang.
OUTDOOR GAMES
Babies love riding in a baby seat on a bicycle, in a baby jogger, or in a baby backpack. Stop frequently to point out things along the way and talk to your baby about what she is seeing.
SWIMMING FOR BABIES Many babies love playing in the water. Some swimming pools have specially heated pools for small children and special hours when a group of babies can play games with parents in the water.
CHILDREN’S FARMS
A visit to a children’s farm or duck pond can be extremely exciting for your baby. She can see the animals from her picture book. She’ll enjoy looking at their wobbly, pattering, or leaping motions. And she’ll particularly like feeding the animals and watching them eat.
Just like mothers get annoyed when their babies keep insisting on being rocked to sleep, so there are at least three other situations where you may feel the urge to make demands: mealtime aggravations, having to forbid things, and impatience.
At this age, many babies get fussy over food, while before they enjoyed whatever they grabbed from your mouth. In the world of relationships many babies come to realize that certain foods taste better than others. So why not pick the tastier one? Many mothers think it’s funny at first. Soon, however, almost every mother becomes irritated when her baby gets fussy. She wonders whether the baby is getting enough nutrition. She tries to distract the fussy eater so she can stick the spoon in her mouth at an unsuspected moment. Or she runs after her the whole day with food.
Don’t do it. Strong-willed babies will resist something that is being forced upon them even more. And a worried mother will in turn react to that. This way, meals become a battleground. Stop arguing. You cannot force a baby to swallow, so don’t even try it. If you do, you might only increase his dislike of anything that has to do with food. Resort to different tactics and make use of other new skills your baby can learn now. He can try holding something between his thumb and forefinger now, but he still needs a lot of practice, so it’s good for his coordination to feed himself. A baby this age also loves to make his own decisions, and the freedom to eat by himself will make eating more enjoyable. Use these new skills to his advantage. While he finger-feeds himself, he could be in a better mood to allow you to feed him as well. It can be messy, but encourage him anyway. Keep putting two pieces of food on his plate, so that he will keep himself occupied. Usually, it will be easy to feed him in between.
You can also make eating more pleasurable for your baby by feeding him in front of a mirror. This way, he can watch as you put a spoonful of food in his mouth or in your own. Don’t worry if it doesn’t work the first time. Many babies go through eating problems, and they also get over them.
Finally, certain eating habits are perceived as irritating by some mothers, while others find them perfectly normal.
“What really gets to me is that she wants to stick her thumb in her mouth after every bite. I won’t allow it! Minor disagreement!”
Ashley’s mom, 29th week
Now that the baby is in the middle of learning new skills, many mothers constantly find themselves having to forbid things. A crawling baby especially is liable to inspect all your possessions. After all, her pleasures are by no means the same as yours. So anything you can do to make life easier for both of you will be worthwhile. Try to prevent what you cannot allow and help her with the activities she is interested in. Above all, remember that you are not the only mother with this problem.
“I constantly have to for
bid things. My daughter rampages from one thing to the next. Her favorite targets are the wine rack, the video, my needlepoint kit, cupboards, and shoes. Another one of her hobbies is knocking down plants, digging up plants, and eating cat food. I can’t warn her enough. So sometimes, I slap her hand when I feel it’s gone far enough.”
Jenny’s mom, 31st week
Top Toys for This Wonder Week
These are toys and things to play with that suit the new skills your baby is developing as he explores the world of relationships
His very own cupboard or shelf
Doors (watch his fingers)
Cardboard boxes in different sizes; also empty egg cartons Wooden spoons Round nesting or stacking cups Wooden blocks Balls (light enough to roll) Picture books Photo books
CDs with children’s songs
Bath toys: things to fill and empty out, such as plastic bottles, plastic cups, a plastic colander, a funnel, a watering can
Toy cars with rotating wheels and doors that can be opened
Cuddly toys that make noise when turned upside down
Squeaky toys
Drums
Toy pianos
Toy telephones
It’s important to put away or take precautions with electrical outlets, plugs, wires, keys, drains, stairs, bottles (such as perfume and nail polish and remover), tubes (such as toothpaste and antiseptics), stereo equipment, remote controls, television sets, plants, wastepaper baskets, trash cans, alarm clocks, and watches.
Your baby does not learn anything from a “correcting” slap on the hand. What is more important, hitting a baby is absolutely not acceptable, even when it is “only” a correcting slap on the hand. It is better to remove your baby from things he is not allowed to touch. And to clearly say “no” when he is doing something that is against your rules. After this leap, babies can be very impatient. This may have several reasons. They don’t want to wait for their food. They get mad if a toy refuses to behave as they wish it would. Or if something is not allowed. Or if mommy doesn’t pay attention to them quickly enough. Unfortunately, babies do have an idea of what it is they want to have or achieve, but they don’t understand why their mommies don’t allow it or why they can’t have it in a flash. This frustrates them, so be understanding but see what you can do to stop the “I want it now” problem.
The Wonder Weeks Page 17
