Ashley’s mom, 46th week
“My son was very cuddly and kept clinging to me this week.”
Matt’s mom, 42nd week
“When my son is in the bicycle seat or stroller, he keeps looking back to check if I’m still there, and then he’ll give me his tiny hand.”
Paul’s mom, 44th week
“My daughter wants to sit on my lap with a book more often. When she does, she’ll stay there, snuggling up wonderfully close to me.”
Jenny’s mom, 47th week
My Diary
Signs My Baby Is Growing Again
Between 40 and 44 weeks, your baby may show signs that he is ready to make the next leap into the world of sequences.
Cries more often and is bad-tempered or cranky
Is cheerful one moment and cries the next
Wants to be kept busy, or does so more often than before
Clings to your clothes, or wants to be closer to you
Acts unusually sweet
Is mischievous
Throws temper tantrums, or throws them more often than before
Is jealous
Is shier with strangers than before
Wants physical contact to be tighter or closer
Sleeps poorly
Seems to have nightmares, or has them more often than before
Loses appetite
Babbles less
Sometimes just sits there, quietly daydreaming
Refuses to have diaper changed
Sucks thumb, or does so more often than before
Wants to cuddle toys, or does so more often than before
* * *
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE
* * *
“My daughter keeps crawling after me. When she rounds the corner by the door, she’ll give me a big smile and quickly crawl back in the other direction again. We love this little game.”
Ashley’s mom, 43rd week
She May Be Mischievous
Some mothers notice that their babies are more naughty than they used to be. It may seem your baby does everything that he is not allowed to. Or he may be especially mischievous at times when you are rushing to finish something and can least spare the time to deal with him.
“We’re not allowed to attend to our own business. If we do, then everything we told our daughter not to touch suddenly becomes extremely interesting, such as the telephone and the knobs on the stereo. We have to watch her every second of the day.”
Jenny’s mom, 47th week
“My daughter keeps crawling after me. I think that’s adorable. But if she doesn’t do that, she makes a mess of things. She’ll pull the books off their shelves and scoop the dirt out of the flower pots.”
Ashley’s mom, 43rd week
“Whenever my baby sees I’m busy, she crawls over to things she’s not allowed to touch.”
Nina’s mom, 43rd week
“My son clings to me all day long, and when he doesn’t, I have to keep disciplining him and taking things away from him.”
Kevin’s mom, 43rd week
How This Leap May Affect You
As your baby’s new world expands to include sequences, his fussiness and changes that follow will affect you, too. Here are some feelings you may encounter.
You May Feel Insecure
Mothers often worry when their baby is upset. They try to find a cause for his more frequent crying. As soon as they have found one, it puts their mind at ease. At this age, they are often inclined to decide it is cutting teeth.
“I think that my son’s mouth was troubling him. He wasn’t his normal, easygoing self.”
John’s mom, 43rd week
“My son cried a lot. I don’t think he had enough sleep.”
Frankie’s mom, 43rd week
“My daughter is whiny and fussy whenever I’m busy doing something. Perhaps she’s having more difficulty dealing with her sisters at the moment.”
Juliette’s mom, 42nd week
You May (Yet Again) Be Exhausted
Mothers of babies who demand a lot of attention and need little sleep feel thoroughly exhausted toward the end of a fussy period. Some complain of headaches, backaches, nausea, and lack of concentration, as well.
“I feel that I’ve broken down completely because I’m not getting any support or recognition. I’d really love to have one evening of rest. At night, I keep running upstairs to the nursery and back down again. Often, this goes on into the middle of the night. To me, this is the most difficult age so far. I even kept putting off writing this diary. I just couldn’t concentrate on it.”
Emily’s mom, 46th week
You May Become Annoyed
Toward the end of this fussy period, mothers become increasingly aggravated by their fretful little clingers. They are annoyed that they are constantly preoccupied with their demands and do not seem to have a life of their own anymore.
“It’s tedious, literally not being able to move an inch. My son constantly demands attention, or else he throws a temper tantrum, and it’s slowly but surely becoming very irritating. Sometimes, I feel like he’s pulling my strings, and that makes me feel rebellious. Then I get fed up. I keep contemplating if I should take him back to the day care, after all. I’ve kept him at home for a few weeks now. In the beginning it felt better, but now, once in a while, I can feel myself getting slightly aggressive again.”
Bob’s mom, 46th week
“I’m very busy, and I can’t have my daughter clinging to my legs or sitting in front of the sink anymore when I’m working. Now, when I’ve had enough, it’s off to bed with her. Perhaps I’m starting to lose my patience.”
Juliette’s mom, 45th week
“Even though I have the easiest baby anyone could ever wish for, when he starts crying hysterically, I notice I do get a bit impatient with him and whisk him off to bed.”
John’s mom, 43rd week
Sometimes a mother is annoyed because deep down she knows that her baby is capable of more than he is showing and suspects that his behavior is just too babyish for his age. She thinks it’s time for him to start behaving more independently.
“When I set my son down for a clean diaper, he always starts to yell. It’s the same with clean clothes, as well. This is starting to annoy me more and more. I think he’s too old for that kind of behavior. In fact, it’s about time he started cooperating a little.”
Bob’s mom, 47th week
You May Start to Quarrel
Toward the end of every fussy period, many mothers who are still breastfeeding think about whether it might not be time to stop. One of the reasons is that the baby wants to nurse all day long. This is annoying and exhausting, and mothers begin to refuse babies sometimes. The little one, however, finds this unacceptable and before you know it, he and his mother argue.
“I keep getting more and more annoyed because I have to lull my son to sleep at my breast. I had to start doing it again when he was having so much trouble falling asleep. Now it’s starting to become a habit again. Besides, he wants to nurse an awful lot and starts screaming when he doesn’t get his way. I just don’t feel like doing it anymore.”
Matt’s mom, 47th week
The good news is that for the mothers who do persist with breastfeeding, the normal feeding pattern will restore itself as soon as the fussy period is over. Once everything has settled down again, mothers seem to forget their irritations.
Another battleground is the familiar territory of negotiating a deal between mother and child about the amount of physical contact and attention.
“I’m aggravated by my son’s continuous crying just so he can sit on my lap. I get terribly angry when he bites me, if I don’t respond to him fast enough. It hurts so much that I automatically give him a shove. Once, he fell and hit his head really hard. That wasn’t my intention, but I was so furious it just happened.”
Kevin’s mom, 44th week
It’s critical to remember that having feelings of anger and frustration at times i
s not abnormal or dangerous, but acting on them is. Try to get help long before you lose control.
How Your Baby’s New Skills Emerge
At about 46 weeks, you will see your baby growing calmer and attempting to do things that are brand new for him. You will see him handling his toys in a different way and enjoying new activities. He will be more precise about his actions than ever before and will pay even more attention to detail.
Your baby can now understand that sometimes one thing must follow another to make a sequence. He will realize that he can find and construct sequences in all of the senses, and as usual, your baby is unable to explore them all at once. His inclinations, preferences, and temperament will help him to select the aspects of the world that he finds most interesting and the skills that he will develop. Help him to do what he is ready to do, rather than trying to push him.
During the last leap forward, your baby realized that certain things have so much in common that they belong to one group or category. In order to categorize things, she would often examine them by breaking them down and taking them apart. For instance, she might have taken a tower of blocks apart one by one, removed a key from a lock, or loosened a handle on a chest of drawers. This paved the way for the current leap where the very opposite takes place, and she begins to experiment with putting things back together. Every baby needs to learn how to take a tower apart before she can build one. Even the seemingly simple activity of choosing the next block and then deliberately placing it in position requires a mental leap that, until this point, your baby was not prepared to take.
My Diary
How My Baby Explores the New World of Sequences
Check off the boxes below as you notice your baby changing. Stop filling this out once the next stormy period begins, heralding the coming of the next leap.
This world is just as multifaceted as all of the others that your baby has entered in her short life. Each baby has her own ideas about what is interesting. Your baby can’t experiment with everything at once. If she has always been a listening and looking baby, this may continue at the expense of more physical activities. It is perfectly normal if most of these skills do not become evident until several months later.
POINTING AND TALKING
Follows and points to a person, animal, or object that you have just named, whether in real life or a picture
Points out one or two items for you to name, such as persons, animals, or objects
Points out and names one or two items in turn
Deliberately looks through a book, making different sounds to go with one or two pictures
Points to his nose when you ask, “Where’s your nose?”
Points to a body part, for instance, his nose or your nose, wanting you to name it
Imitates the sound when you name an animal, for instance, when you ask, “What does the cat say?” he says, “Meow”
Raises his arms when you ask, “How tall are you going to be?”
Says “yum” when he wants the next bite
Says “no, no” when he does not want to do something
Uses a word in an extended way, for instance, says “yuck” for something dirty but also when he has to be careful of something because “yuck” has come to mean “don’t touch” for him
* * *
WHAT GOES TOGETHER AND WHAT COMES NEXT
Knows that he can push a round peg through a round hole; for example, he will choose the round peg from a pile of pegs and try to push it through the round hole of a peg board
Tries to put together three pieces of a simple puzzle
Tries pushing coins through a slot
Tries fitting two different sizes of containers inside each other
Takes a key from somewhere else and tries to insert it into a keyhole
Looks at the lamp and reaches for it when you flick the light switch
Tries to talk into a telephone receiver
Puts objects in a container, covers it, removes the cover, removes the objects, and repeats the cycle again
Tries to put a “doughnut” ring over an upright rod
Pushes toy cars around, making a vrrrm sound
Scoops up sand with a spade and then empties it into a bucket
Fills bath toys with water and empties them again
Takes a good look at two Primo blocks and then tries fitting them together
Tries scrawling on a piece of paper with a pencil or crayon
* * *
MAKING AND USING TOOLS
Helps herself learn to walk by finding an object to push
Finds something to use as a step to reach a desired place or object
Points with her finger in the direction she wants to go when being carried
* * *
LOCOMOTION
Clambers down the stairs or off a chair or sofa backward. In the beginning, she sometimes even starts crawling backward toward the stairs before starting her descent
Puts her head down in position to initiate a somersault with help
Bends her knees, then stretches her legs powerfully, so that she jumps off the ground with both feet
Tries to aim before throwing or kicking a ball
Looks first to see whether she can reach another supporting object within the number of steps she can take by herself
* * *
PLAYING WITH OTHERS
Plays with you. Clearly expresses which games he wants to play by starting them and then looking at you expectantly
Repeats a game
Entices you to play with him, perhaps by pretending he is unable to do something that you have seen him doing on his own before
* * *
HIDE AND SEEK
Looks for something that you have hidden by completely concealing it with something else—either as a game, or because you do not want him to get ahold of it
Hides something that belongs to someone else, waits and watches, then laughs when the other person finds it
* * *
COPYING A SEQUENCE OF GESTURES
Imitates two or more gestures in sequence
Studies the way the same sequence of gestures looks in reality and in the mirror
Copies one or two movements while you are singing a song with her
* * *
HELPING OUT WITH THE HOUSEKEEPING
Hands you things that you want to put away one by one
Goes and gets simple objects, if you ask her to
Picks up the clothes that you have just taken off her and puts them in the laundry basket
Gets her own bucket with dolls’ laundry, and puts it in the washing machine
Gets out a broom and sweeps the floor with it
Gets a cloth out and dusts things off
Imitates you cooking; for example, she bangs a fork in a bowl or stirs with a spoon
* * *
DRESSING AND GROOMING
Tries to undress himself; for instance, he tries to take a sock off by pulling at his toes
Tries putting on his shoe or sock by himself; for instance, he holds on to his shoe or sock and his foot and puts them together
Helps when you dress him. Leans toward you when you pull a sweater on or off or sticks his foot out when the sock or shoe is coming
Brushes his hair
Uses a toothbrush
Sometimes uses a potty
* * *
EATING AND FEEDING
Offers others a bite or sip while eating and drinking
Blows steam off food himself before taking a bite
Sticks a piece of bread on a baby fork and eats it
Can scoop up food with a spoon and put it in his mouth
* * *
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE
As her new skills begin to take wing, your little one becomes involved for the first time in constructing, in putting things together, and linking things. For instance, she may now take a key off a table and try to put it in a lock. She can learn to dig sand up with a spade and then put it
in a bucket. She can learn to aim a ball first and then throw it. While singing a song, such as Pat a cake, pat a cake, baker’s man, she can begin to make different gestures successively, without you having to set the example. She can learn to scoop up food with a spoon and then put it in her mouth. She may learn to pick up her clothes from the floor and then put them in the laundry basket. At this age, babies are just beginning to be aware of sequences, and it is quite a feat if they manage to string two actions together. Although they know what belongs together, their attempts may not always succeed. For instance, your baby may try putting on her shoes by getting them out but then sit down and rub them against her feet trying to put them on.
You can also tell by your baby’s reactions that she is now beginning to realize how certain events usually follow after another in the normal course of events. You will notice that she now knows what the next step is in any particular sequence. For instance, if she sees you push a doorbell, you may see your baby pause to listen for the bell.
“When a tape is finished, my son now looks up at the cassette player, not at the speaker. He now knows that I have to do something to the player if he is to hear more music.”
Bob’s mom, 48th week
Your baby can now also start pointing out and naming different people, animals, and objects. When she does this on her own, she may often still say da instead of using the proper word. When she does this together with you, she may point things out and want you to name them or have you make the appropriate sound. She might like to play the game the other way around, having you point while she tells you what she calls the object. When you are carrying her around, you may also start to notice that your baby will point in the direction that she wants you to go.
The Wonder Weeks Page 22
