Gregory’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
She May Lose Her Appetite
Not all toddlers have the best eating habits. Sometimes they simply skip a meal. Mothers find it difficult if their child does not eat well, and this gives the little one the attention he needs. Breastfeeding toddlers, however, do seem to want to feed more often. But as soon as they have sucked a little, they let go of the nipple and look around. Or they just hold the nipple in their mouth. After all they are where they want to be: with mom.
“He hasn’t eaten well this week. Especially dinner. He turned his head away at the first bite, regardless what I put in front of him.”
Frankie’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He wakes up often during the night again and wants the breast. Is it habit or does he really need it? I wonder because he wants to feed so often. I also wonder if I’m not making him too reliant on me.”
Bob’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
She May Be More Babyish
It could seem like your toddler is a baby again. That’s not really the case. Regression during a clingy period means that progress is coming. And because children at this age are capable of so much more, a regression is more evident.
“She didn’t use the words she had learned! All of a sudden she called all animals ‘am.’”
Julia’s mom, 61st week, or 14 months
“He’s crawling more often again.”
Luke’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“She is ready for her playpen again, full of baby toys!”
Hannah’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“If we timed it right and asked if she needed to pee, she would generally go to her potty, but now she is back to solely using diapers. As if she has completely forgotten how.”
Jenny’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“I am back to giving her bottles like when she was a baby. She won’t even hold it herself.”
Emily’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
She May Act Unusually Sweet
Some mothers succumb to a generous hug, kiss or barrage of petting from their children. The little ones have certainly noticed that it is more difficult for mom to resist these displays of affection than the whining, clinging and being a nuisance. And this way they can “fill-up on mom” if need be.
“Now he climbs up behind me in the chair and proceeds on to my neck to give me a massive hug.”
Matt’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“Sometimes she is really affectionate. She comes and hugs with one arm around my neck, pressing her cheek into mine, strokes my face and kisses me. Even strokes and kisses the fur collar on my coat. She was never this affectionate before.”
Nina’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
She May Reach for a Cuddly Object More Often
Sometimes toddlers use blankets, stuffed animals and all things soft to snuggle. They especially do this if Mom is busy.
“He snuggles a lot with his stuffed animals.”
Matt’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
She May Be Mischievous
Many toddlers are naughty on purpose. Being naughty is the perfect way to draw attention. If something breaks, is dirty or dangerous, or if the house gets turned upside down, Mom will have to address this misbehavior. This is a covert way to get a “mommy refill.”
“She is not allowed to touch the stereo, VCR or other such devices. She knows that’s off limits! She gets one warning and then a swat on her fingers.”
Vera’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“I was really angry when he deliberately threw some things over our balcony. There’s no getting the things back because they landed in the water below. After that, if he did it again, I snatched him up and put him in his playpen explaining that such things are not allowed.”
Luke’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“She purposefully misbehaves. She lays her hands precisely where she knows that they are not allowed. She shakes the gate for the stairs (it is destroyed by now), pulled out the knitting needles from my knitting, just for starters. It is really getting on my nerves.”
Vera’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“He repeatedly has periods where he only does what is not allowed. I am left doing nothing but saying ’no’ and keeping an eye on him.”
Gregory’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
She May Have More Temper Tantrums
Many toddlers are more quickly irritable, angry and out of sorts than mothers are used to from them. These little ones roll kicking and screaming on the ground if they don’t get their way, if they can’t manage something first time, if they are not understood directly, or even without any clear reason at all.
“She had her first temper tantrum. It’s the newest thing. At first we thought that it was teething pain. She dropped to her knees and began screeching. It turned out to be a temper tantrum. No walk in the park!”
Josie’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“When his father put him back in bed at 5:30 a.m., he really threw a fit. He obviously had other plans than we did.”
Frankie’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“She wanted to eat without any help and we didn’t get it at first. She screamed, started kicking and practically broke her chair. I had no idea that she could be such a pain. Quite a trial!”
Nina’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
“When we’re around other people, I can’t move away an inch or he’ll fall to the ground and throw a fit.”
Frankie’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“If she doesn’t get her way, she throws herself to the ground screeching and refuses to sit or stand up. Then I pick her up and draw her attention to something else.”
Julia’s mom, 62nd week, or 14 months
My Diary
Signs My Baby Is Growing Again
Between 59 and 63 weeks, your child may show signs that he is ready to make the next leap, into the world of principles.
Cries more often and is more often cranky or fretful
Is cheerful one moment and cries the next
Wants to be entertained, or does so more often
Clings to your clothes or wants to be closer to you
Acts unusually sweet
Is mischievous
Throws temper tantrums, or throws them more often
Is jealous
Is more obviously shy with strangers
Wants physical contact to be tighter or closer
Sleeps poorly
Has nightmares, or has them more often
Loses appetite
Sometimes just sits there, quietly daydreaming
Reaches for a cuddly toy, or does so more often
Is more babyish
Resists getting dressed
* * *
OTHER CHANGES YOU NOTICE
* * *
* * *
How this leap may affect you
You May Become Really Frustrated
Mothers clearly have less patience with clinging, whining and provocation from a child of this age. When he was still a little baby, such behavior made them worry. Now it makes them annoyed.
“She never had problems sleeping before. Now she does. For the last couple of nights it’s been nothing but crying. I am completely annoyed by it. The evenings are my time and now she is dominating them too. Hope this doesn’t become a habit.”
Maria’s mom, 69th week, or approaching 16 months
The moment mothers get annoyed, they will let it show. At this age a persistent toddler will hear it when his mother disapproves of his behavior. Using words he understands, she explains what she doesn’t like. Language starts to play a greater role. And a whining nuisance is quicker to land in his playpen or in his bed than when he was younger. Mother’s patience is shorter. Mothers think that their child is big enough to behave better. Additionally, th
ey think that their toddlers should learn to be more considerate of them.
“I have arranged that she stay with a nanny. It really annoys me that she clamps on to me when we go somewhere. All the other children are running around and playing with toys. She rarely does that. Only after she’s stood aside and observed long enough does she begin to let go of my dress. I only hope that she can get over the clinging when she goes to the babysitter.”
Julia’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“When I am cooking, he comes and sits right at my feet. If it becomes too much and he doesn’t want to move out of the way when I ask, I put him in his playpen. Then my patience has run out.”
Frankie’s mom, 64th week, or 14½ months
“He constantly wants to climb on my lap and, even better, go on the nipple – preferably from sun up til sun down. It really bothers me. First, I try to get him off me a bit by playfully distracting him. But if he continues coming and pulling on me, he has a good chance of winding up in bed. It just gets to be too much.”
Robin’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“Sometimes he wants to be picked up at the very moment I am busy with something and that bothers me. I try to explain in simple terms why I can’t pick him up. And explaining helps!”
Gregory’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“I can get rather perturbed when he pretends not to hear what I say. I grab him and turn him to face me, so that he has to look at me and listen when I say something.”
Taylor’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
“If he persists in being naughty, doesn’t know what he wants, cries for any little thing and doesn’t listen to what I say, I assume that he is very tired and that it’s time to go to bed. I need to let off a bit of steam, because then my patience is at its end.”
Taylor’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
You May Argue
Your toddler is getting bigger. More and more often he and mom do not see eye-to-eye. If he is not allowed to interrupt, to cling or to be unruly, he rebels fiercely. Real quarrels are the result. Such an eruption is most likely at the end of the difficult period. That’s when both mother and child are quickest of temper.
“We just had a real fight! He kept grabbing the kittens and pushing them around the floor like toy cars. I had to stop him.”
Mark’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“He cries even louder if he doesn’t get his way instead of quitting his rant. If he doesn’t stop really quickly, I put him in his playpen as punishment. But he doesn’t like that at all. He throws an enormous temper tantrum. I let him go until he’s run out of steam, but it’s not pleasant.”
Luke’s mom, 63rd week, or 14 months and a week
“She’s driving us nuts. She cries a lot and requires constant attention from 7 in the morning until 10:30 at night. Sometimes, a good smack on the bottom is really necessary. Trying to talk to her is like talking to a brick wall; she won’t listen. Her naps are only an hour-and-a-half. We don’t have time for ourselves or each other any more because she practically runs our lives. Maybe we should pay less attention to her. I’d like to know if other children are this difficult at this age. We never hear other parents complaining. We’re out of ideas. At the moment we’re finding parenthood a rather thankless task.”
Jenny’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
If your baby seeks attention in such a willful way, it can make you desperate. That is quite normal. However, you should not react in desperation. Hurting your baby or child is never a good way to teach him the rules.
“If he doesn’t get his way, he gets furious and hits me. That has been bothering me for some time and now my patience had reached its end. I gave him a rap so that he could just feel it. Then I explained to him at length that the hitting must stop.”
Mark’s mom, 65th week, or approaching 15 months
Your child does what you do. If he cannot hit you, then you should not hit him. If you hit your child, then there’s not much sense in saying that he shouldn’t hit. Your words must match your actions. Hitting solves nothing and it is not good for your little one.
“She refuses to listen and that can really get tedious or dangerous. Sometimes it is necessary that she gets a rap. But a rap doesn’t always work. This week as things were already heated, I said, ‘Mommy doesn’t like you now, go away,’ and her reaction got to me. She started crying uncontrollably. She really was mortified, worse than a rap. I hope that I never say that again in desperation. I didn’t mean for it to be taken so literally.”
Jenny’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
How Your Baby’s New Skills Emerge
Around 64 weeks—almost 15 months—you notice that much of the clinginess starts to disappear. Your toddler is a bit more enterprising again. Perhaps you already see that he is different, and acts differently. He is getting much more willful. He thinks differently. Handles his toys differently. His sense of humor has changed. You see these changes, because at this age your toddler’s ability to observe and implement “principles” is breaking through. Getting this ability is comparable with discovering a whole new world. Your toddler with his talents, preferences and temperament chooses where he wants to begin. Find out where he is going and help him with it. This new ability he has acquired sometimes “gives him a headache,” as a figure of speech.
“He doesn’t want to sit on my lap as much, he’s active again.”
Thomas’ mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
“All listlessness and bad moods have passed. She even was happy to go to daycare. The difficult period has passed.”
Josie’s mom, 66th week, or 15 months
“Sometimes I worry. I have the feeling that he is busy inside. In a way he keeps more to himself. But at the same time he does like to be near me. Not to do anything together, but just to be near me.”
Luke’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
He plays longer by himself and is calmer, more focused, more solemn, enterprising, testing, observant, and independent in the sense that he does things himself. He is less interested in toys. His interests are more towards the domestic. Furthermore, he really likes being outside just wandering and exploring. He does need you to be around, though.
Now that your toddler takes her first steps into the world of “principles,” you notice that she completes various “programs” more supply and naturally. You get now what she is doing and what she wants. Principles will influence her thought process. She starts to get on top of things, just like a teacher has to be on top of things in order to be able to explain it. Your tyke is no longer “caught up” in a program, rather she can “create” or change and judge for herself what’s what. She starts to think about programs. And just as when executing programs she deliberates each move and decides if she will do it this way or that, in the world of principles your tyke starts thinking about thinking. She is busier upstairs. And she feels that.
“He’s feeling his way with his head. Literally. Several things he touches with his forehead: the ground, the table leg, a book, his plate and so forth. He calls to show me. I can’t follow him. Certain times I think he wants to say that you can bump into these things. Other times it seems to be the start of a new way of thinking, as if he feels that he can mentally comprehend the world.”
Luke’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
In the world of principles your little one will think ahead, contemplate, consider the consequences of her actions, make plans and evaluate them. She will come up with strategies: “Should I ask dad or grandma to get the candy?” “How can I delay subtly?” Naturally, your toddler is not very adept in devising plans, nor are they as complex as ours. As adults, it has taken us years to master this. By practice, every one of us has learned principles by executing programs and confronting several thousand different situations. Your little rookie can not fully comprehend the meaning of so many new things. As an “Al
ice in Wonderland,” she wanders the complicated world of principles. It begins to sink in that from morning ‘til night she will have to make choices. Yes, she notices that it is unavoidable: she must choose, choose and choose again. Perhaps you have noticed your little one endlessly hesitating over what she should do. Thinking is a full time job.
“He now realizes that the whole day through he has to make all kinds of choices. He chooses very consciously and takes his time. He hesitates endlessly if he should turn on the TV, or perhaps not. If he should throw something off the balcony, or better not. If he will sleep in the big bed or the little one, and if he will sit with his father or with me. And so on.”
Luke’s mom, 67th week, or 15 months and a week
In the world of principles your child not only has to choose what she will do, but while she is doing it she must continue making choices: “Should I wreck my tower, just leave it or build it higher?” And if she chooses the latter, she must choose how to do it: “Should I put a block on my tower next or this time a doll?” With everything she does, she will have to choose: “Should I go about it carefully, sloppily, recklessly, quickly, wildly, dangerously or carefully?” If mom thinks that it is bedtime, she will have to choose whether to go along quietly or if to try to delay. Again she must choose: “Which is the best strategy for keeping me out of bed the longest? Just scampering away as fast as I can? Pull a plant out of its pot? Or pull some other stunt?” And if she knows full well that something is not allowed, she must choose whether or not to just go for it or if to wait until the coast is clear. She contemplates, chooses, tests and makes mom desperate.
The Wonder Weeks Page 28
